THE VERY HORRIFIC LIFE
GREAT GARGANTUA
FATHER OF PANTAGRUEL.

Francois Rabelais

Formerly composed by Mr. Alcofribas, abstractor of Quinte Essence.
Book full of Pantagruelism.

1534

TO THE READERS

Reader friends, who this book read,
Strip yourself of all affection;
And, reading it, do not be scandalized:
It does not contain infection badly.
True, there is little perfection here
You will learn, if not in case of laughter;
No other argument can my heart elect,
Seeing the grievance that undermines and consumes you:
Mieulx is laughed at than written tears,
For what laughter is proper to man.




AUTHOR'S PROLOGUE

Very illustrious drinkers, and you, Verolez very precious, - for to you, not to others, are dedicated my writings, - Alcibiades, or Plato's dialog entitled Le Bancquet, praising his tutor Socrates, without controversy prince of the philosophers, among other words the saying is similar to Silenes. Silenes were once small boxes, such as we see today in apothecary's shops, pinned above joyous and frivolous figures, like harpies, satyrs, bridle goslings, horned hares, basted canes, flying goats, lemon deer and other such counterfeit paintings at pleasure to excite the world to laugh (which was Silene, master of the good Bacchus); but in the interior one reserved the fine drugs like balsam, ambergris, amomon, musk, zivette, precious stones and other precious things. Such was Socrates said to be,because, seeing him on the outside and estimating him by the exterior appearance, you would not have given a slice of onion, so ugly he was in body and ridiculous in his bearing, the pointed nose, the look of a bull, the face of a madman, simple in manners, rustic in clothes, poor in fortune, unfortunate in women, inept at all the offices of the republic, always laughing, always drinking so much to each one, always dressing up, always dissembling his divine knowledge; but, opening this box, would have found within it a celestial and impreciable drug: more than human understanding, marvelous virtues, invincible courage, unparalleled soberness, certain contentment, perfect assurance, incredible despise of everything for which humans watch so much, run, work, sail and fight. About what,in your opinion, tend this prelude and first attempt? As much as you, my good disciples, and some other foulz of stay, without reading the joyful titles of other books of our invention, like Gargantua, Pantagruel, Fessepinte, The Dignity of the Braguettes, Des Poys au lard cum commento, etc. , judge too easily that you are treated inside only mockery, foolishness and joyous lies, since the exterior sign (it is the title) without further inquiry is commonly received with derision and giddiness. But by such lightness it is not suitable to estimate the works of humans.For you yourselves dictate that the habit does not make the monk, and such is dressed in the monastic habit, which within is nothing less than monk, and such is dressed in the cape Hespanole, who in his courage in no way affierts to Hespane. This is why it is necessary to open the book and carefully weigh what is deduced therein. Then know that the drug contained therein is of much more value than the box promised, that is to say that the matters here treated are not so much fun as the title above claims. And, given the case that in the literal sense you find materials quite joyful and well corresponding to the name, however, it is not necessary to stay there, as in the song of Sirens, so in the highest sense to interpret what by adventure you say in the gayety of heart.Do you have any bottles? Cash! Reduce to memory the countenance you had. But do you ever see a dog encountering some medular bone? It is, as Plato says, lib. ij de Rep., the world's most philosophical beast. If you have it, you have little noted with what devotion he watches him, with what care he guards him, with what fervor he holds him, with what prudence he ensnares him, with what affection he breaks him, and with what diligence he suggests him. Who induces him to do this? What is the hope of his study? What good does he claim? Nothing more than a little marrow.It is true that this little more is delicious than much of any other, for what the marrow is a food elaborated to nature's perfection, as Galen dict., iij Facu. natural., and xj De usu parti. Following the example of icelluy you should be saiges, to flower, feel and esteem these beautiful books of high gres, light to the prochaz and bold to meet; then, by curious lesson and frequent meditation, to break the bone and to suggest the sustantificque marrow - that is to say what I mean by these Pythagorean symbols - with the certain hope of being made escorts and brave at the said reading;because in here you will find much more taste and more abstruse doctrine, which will reveal to you very high sacraments and horrific mysteries, both with regard to our religion and also the political state and economic life. Do you believe in your faith that once Homer, writing the Iliad and Odyssey, thinks of his allegories which of him have caulked Plutarch, Heraclides Ponticq, Eustatia, Phonutes, and what of them Politian has stolen? If you believe it, you don't approach hand and foot in my opinion, who decrees that they were thought of as little by Homer as by Ovid in his Metamorphoses the sacraments of the Gospel, which a Brother Lubin, a true eater of bacon , endeavored to demonstrate, if by chance he met people as crazy as him, and (as the saying goes) worthy lid of the cauldron.If you don't believe it, what reason is why so many won't make these joyful and new chronicles, so much that, the dictans, don't think of them more than you, who by chance beviated like me? Because, in the composition of this seigniorial book, I never lost any more use, nor any other time than the one who was estably to take my bodily repair, knowing is drinking and eating. So is it the right time to write these high subjects and profound sciences, as Homer knew well, paragon of all philologists, and Ennie, father of the Latin poets, as Horace testifies, although an ugly fellow has said that his Carmelites smell more of wine than of oil. As much as a tirelupin says of my books; but bren for him!The smell of wine, oh how much more frivolous, laughing, praying, more heavenly and delicious than oil! And you will take as much glory as people say of me that more in wine has hung than in oil, than Demosthenes did, when from him it was said that more in oil than in wine hung. To me is only honor and glory to be said and reputed to be a good Gaultier and a good companion, and in this name I have come in all good company of Pantagruelists. A Demosthenes, was reproached by a grievance that his Orations felt like the mop of a dirty and dirty oilman. Nevertheless, interpret all my facts and my dicts in the perfect part; have in reverence the caseiform brain which feeds you with these beautiful marbles, and, to your power, keep me always happy.Now, blush yourselves, my loves, and cheerfully read the rest, quite at ease in body, and to the profit of the loins! But listen, vietz d'azes, - let the maulubec tease you! - remember you to boyre my for the same, and I will plead with you all are metys.

FIRST CHAPTER

From the genealogy and antiquity of Gargantua

I thank you for the great Pantagrueline chronicle to recognize the genealogy and antiquity from which Gargantua came to us. In this you will hear more at length how the geands were born in this world, and how from here, by direct lines, yssit Gargantua, father of Pantagruel, and you will not be angry if for the present I deport myself from it, how much that the thing be such that the more it would be reassembled, the more it would please your Lordships; as you have the authority of Plato, in Philebo et Gorgias, and of Flacce, who say that there are no words to be said, such as those, no doubt, which are more delectable the more often they are repeated.

Pray to God that everyone knows their genealogy so certainly, from Noah's Ark to this age! I think that several are today emperors, kings, ducz, princes and popes on earth, who are descended from a few bearers of rogatons and coustretz, just as, on the contrary, several are beggars of the host, sickly and miserable, who are descended by blood and line from great kings and emperors, awaited the admirable transport of kingdoms and empires:

of the Assyrians and Medes,
of the Medes and Persians,
of the Persians and Macedonians,
of the Macedonians and Romans,
of the Romans es Grecz,
des Grecz es Francoys.

And, to give you to understand me who speaks, I believe that I am descended from some rich king or prince in the old days; for never shall a man come who had a greater affection for being king and rich than me, in order to make a grand dear, not to work, not to care, and to enrich my friends and all good and knowledgeable people. But in this I comfort myself that in the other world I will be, see you greater than at present the auseroye wish. You in this or better thought comfort your misfortune, and drink cool, if possible.

Returning to our sheep, I tell you that by sovereign gift of the skies has been reserved for us the antiquity and genealogy of Gargantua more entire than any other, except that of the Messias, of which I do not speak, because he does not belong to me, also the devils (these are the slanderers and caffars) oppose it. And was found by Jean Audeau in a meadow which he had near the Gualeau arch, below the Olive, pulling at Narsay, from which, raising the ditches, touched the diggers from their ponds a large bronze tomb, long without measure, for no one ever found the end of it because he entered too far before the excluded from Vienna. Icelluy open in a certain place, signed, above, with a goblet around which was written in Etruscan letters: HIC BIBITUR,

In iceluy was found the said genealogy, written along cancelleresque letters, not in paper, not in parchment, not in cere, but in bark of ulmeau, so much worn by obsolescence, however, as to a point in povoit one can recognize ranc.

I (however unworthy) was called there, and, with a great deal of bezicles, practicing the art of which one can read non-apparent letters, as Aristoteles teaches, the translatay, as you may see in Pantagruelizing, that is to say, to drink freely and read the horrific gestures of Pantagruel

At the end of the book was a short treatise entitled: Les Fanfreluches antidotées. The rats and cockroaches, or (so that I am not lying) other malignant beasts, had grazed the beginning; the rest I have added below, out of reverence for antiquity.




CHAPTER II

The antidoted Fanfreluches, found in an ancient monument.



came the great tamer of the Cimbri,
Pouring by the air, for fear of the dew.
his arrival we filled the stamps
of fresh butter, falling through a house.
from which when was the grandmother arroused,
Cried aloud: “Hers, by grace, fish him;
'Cause his beard is almost full
Or at least hold a ladder for him. »

Some people said that licking his slipper
Was better than pretending pardons;
But there came an affected marroufle,
Coming out of the hollow where we fish for rocks,
Who says: “Gentlemen, for God we keep it;
The eel is there and in this estau musse;
There will find (if closely let's look)
A big defect at the bottom of his aumusse. »

When was about to read the chapter,
Only the horns of a calf were found there:
“I (he said) feel the bottom of my miter
So cold that around my brain languishes. »
They eschaufa it with a parfunct of ship,
And was happy to stay there,
Provided that we make a new limonnier
To so many people who are cantankerous,

Their talk was from Saint Patrice's hole,
Of Gilbathar, and of a thousand other holes:
If we could reduce them to scars
By such means that no longer had it all,
Since he seemed sassy to everyone
To see them like this at each wind kiss;
If by chance they were spot on,
We could yawn for houstage

In this arrest the curve was peeled
By Hercules, who came from Libya.
“What! dist Minos, why am I not called there?
Except me, everyone is invited,
And then you want my desire to pass
To supply them with oysters and frogs;
I give to the devil almost of my life
Take mercy on their sale of cattails. »

For the matter came QB who smokes,
To the sauconduit of the misters sansonnetz.
The sister, cousin of the great Cyclops,
Massacred them. Everyone sniffs his nose;
In this gueret few buggers are nose,
That we haven't fooled the tan mill.
Run there all and ring the gun:
More there will be than there were before.

Shortly after, Jupiter's bird
Will deliberately bet for the worse,
But, seeing them so angry,
Feared that we would put ras, jus, bas, checkmate the empire,
And better loved the fire of the sky empire
At the ravine trunk where the soretz are sold,
Que aer serain, against whom one conspires,
Subjecting the Dicts of the Masoretz.

The whole concluded was at a point sharpened,
Maulgré Até, the heronniere thigh,
That there assists, seeing Pentasilée,
On his old years prinse for watercress.
Everyone cried: "Naughty charcoal burner,
Is it yours to find by way?
Tu la tolluz, la Romaine baniere
That had been done with the trait of the parchment! »

Ne was Juno, only below the celestial arc
With his duke was tending to the pipe,
He would have been tricked so very molestingly
That from all points she would have been crumpled.
The agreement was such that from her lips
She would have two Proserpina eggs,
And, if ever she had the flu,
It was linked to the Mont de l'Albespine.

Seven months later - houstez in twenty-two -
Eyelash that once annihilated Carthage
Courtly put himself in the midst of them,
The claim to have his inheritance,
Or that we are just doing the sharing
According to the law that one draws with the rivet,
Distribute a soup tatin
To his pranksters who did the patent.

But the year will come, signed with a turquoise bow,
From v. spindle and troys culz of pot,
Onquel the back of a roy too little courtesy
Pepper will be dressed like a hermit.
Oh pity! For a pussy
Will you allow so many arpens to be engulfed?
Cease, cease; this mask no one imitates;
Withdraw to the brother of serpents.

It's past year, eye that is will reign
Peacefully with his good friends.
Ny abrupt ny smach then will not dominate;
All goodwill will have its compromised,
And the solas, which once was promised
People of heaven, will come to his belfry;
When the haratz, which were dimmed,
Will triumph as a royal palfrey.

And will last this pass time pass
Until as long as Mars had the grips.
Then will come one that passes by all others,
Delicious, pleasant, beautiful without compass.
Lift your hearts, tend to this meal,
All my feaulx, because such is trespassed
Who for all good would not return,
So much will then be proclaimed the past time.

Finally, the one who was made of wax
Will be housed at the hinge of the Jacquemart.
No more will be claimed: "Cyre, Cyre",
The bully who holds the cocquemart.
Hey, who could grab his dick,
All would be netz the tintouins dumbfounded,
And could we, over poulemart,
Scorn everything abuse maguazin.

CHAPTER III

How Gargantua was once carried in his mother's womb.

Grandgousier was a good joker in his time, fond of drinking straight as much as a man who was then in the world, and ate voluntarily salty. To this end, he usually had a good supply of hams from Magence and Bayonne, plenty of smoked beef tongues, plenty of sausages in season and beef cured with mustard, reinforcement of boutargues, supply of sausages, not from Bouloigne (because he feared ly boucon of Lombard), goal of Bigorre, Lonquaulnay, Brene and Rouargue.

In her virile age, married Gargamelle, daughter of the king of the Parpaillos, handsome and of good figure, and the two of them often together made the bestie at two doz, joyfully rubbing their bacon, as long as she pregnant with a beautiful son and carried him to middle age.

For as much, if not more, can women carry, even when it is some masterpiece and personage who must in his time perform great feats, as Homer says that the child from whom Neptune impregnated the nymph was born the year after. past: it was the twelfth month. For (as A. Gelle says, lib iij), this long time suited the majesty of Neptune, so that in it the child was formed to perfection. For the same reason, Jupiter lasted for eighteen hours the night he slept with Alcmene, for in less time he could not have forged Hercules who cleansed the world of monsters and tyrants.

Messrs. the ancient Pantagruelists have confirmed what I am saying and have declared not only possible, but also legitimate, the child born of a woman the first month after the death of her husband:

Hippocrates, lib De alimento,
Pliny, li. vij, cap. v,
Plautus, in Cistellaria,
Marcus Varro, in the inscribed satyr The Testament,
alleging the authority of Aristoteles in this regard,
Censorinus, li. From die natali,
Aristoteles, libr. vij, capi. iij and iij, From nat.
animalium,
Gellius, li. iij, ca. XVI.
Servius, in Egl., exposing this meter of Virgil:
Matri longa decem, etc. ,

and a thousand other folz; the number of which has been stated by the jurists acreu, ff. From am and legit., l. Intestato, §fi., and, in Autent., De restoret. and ea que parit in xj mense. Abundant have delved into their rodibilardicque loy Gallus, ff. From lib and posthu., and l. septimo ff. From stat. man, and a few others, that for the present say n'ause. Mean years, widowed women can frankly play the greenhouse at all times and with all remains, two months after the death of their husbands.

I beg you by grace, you other my good averlans, if any of them find any worth unzipping, climb on and bring them to me.

For, if in the third month they become pregnant, their fruit will be heir to the defunct; and, the big connoisseur, boldly push further, and sail the guale since the belly is full! - as Julie, daughter of the Emperor Octavian, did not abandon herself to her taboureurs except when she felt fat, in the form that the ship only receives its pilot before being calafated and loaded. And, if no one blasmes them for making them known like this on their fatness, since the beasts on their bellies never endure the masculating male, they will answer that they are beasts, but they are women, of course the beautiful and joyful menuz droictz of superfection, as Populie formerly replied, according to the report of Macrobius, li. ij Saturnal.

If the diavol doesn't want them to fatten up, he'll have to torture the douzil, and shut his mouth.


CHAPTER IV

How Gargamelle, being pregnant with Gargantua,
ate big planted with tripe.


The occasion and manner in which Gargamelle gave birth was such, and, if you do not believe it, the foundation escapes you!

The foundation saved him one after dinner, the second day of February, from having eaten too much cheese. Gaudebilleaux are fatty coir tripe. Coiraux are beufz engress to the creche and prez guimaulx. Prez are marshmallows that bear grass twice a year. D'iculx graz oxen had had troys 100 sixty-seven thousand and fourteen killed, to be at mardy gras hall, so that in the first vere they would have seasonal beef in a heap to, at the beginning of meals, commemorate salt and better come into wine.

The tripe was plentiful, as you would expect, and was so delicious that everyone leaned on their fingers. But the great devilry with four characters was good in that it was not possible to reserve them for a long time, because they were rotten. What seemed indecent. From which it was concluded that they would swallow them up without losing anything. To do this, all the townspeople of Sainnais, Suillé, Roche Clermaud, Vaugaudray, without leaving behind the Coudray Montpensier, the Gué de Vede and other neighbors, all good drinkers, good companions, and beautiful bowlers there.

The good man Grandgousier took great pleasure in it and ordered that everything should go by bowls. He told his wife, however, that she ate the least of it, seeing that she was nearing her end and that this guts was not very laudable meat: "Celluy (he said) has a great desire to chew shit, who from here bag eats. Notwithstanding these remonstrances, she ate six muiz, two bussars and six tupins. O beautiful fecal matter that must have swollen in her!

After dinner, all went pelle melle to the Saulsaie, and there, on the thick grass, danced to the sound of joyous flageolletz and sweet bagpipes so blandly that it was a heavenly pastime to see them laughing like this.


CHAPTER V

The words of the good yvres.


Then came about to meet in their own place. When bottles to go, hams to trot, goubeletz to fly, breusses to clink:

"Drawn!

- Yawn!

- Turn!

- Scramble!

- Medium bottle without water; so, my friend.

- Whip this glass for me;

-Produce me claret, weeping glass.

-Thirst stop!

- Ha, fake fever, won't you go away?

- By my fy, my commere, I cannot get into trouble.

-Are you moping, my friend?

-even.

- Belly Saint Quenet! let's talk about drinking.

"I only boy at my hours, like the pope's mule."

-I only read in my breviary, like a father-in-law guardian.

-Which was first, thirsty or drunk?

-Thirst, for who had drunk without thirst during the time of innocence?

-Beuverye, car privatio presupponit habitum. I am a clerk.

Foecundi chalices quem non fecere disertum?

- We other innocents drink only too much without thirst.

-No me, sinner, without thirst, and, if not present, at least future, prevent it as hear. I boy for the thirst to come. I boy forever. It's eternity of drinking to me, and drinking of eternity.

-Let's sing, drink, let's sing a motet! Where is my funnel?

-What! I only boy by proxy!

-Do you wet to dry, or do you dry to wet?

-I don't understand the theory; from practice I help myself somewhat.

- Hurry!

-I wet, I moisten, I wet, and everything for fear of dying.

- Drink always, you will never die.

-If I don't boy, I'm dry, here I am dead. My soul will flee in some onesie. In dryness the soul never dwells.

-Somelliers, O creators of new forms, make me drinkable!

- Perenniality of arrousement by these nervous and dry guts!

- For nil boyt who does not feel it.

-Cestuy enters the veins; the pissotière will be nothing.

-I will willingly wash the guts of this calf that I dressed this morning.

- I have saburred my stomach well.

-If the paper of my schedules beuvoyt as well as I do, my creditors would have their wine when we come to the formula of exhibiting.

-This hand spoils your nose.

-O other quants will enter before cestuy cy leaves!

-Boyre at such a small ford is to break his poictral.

-Cecy is called pipee à vials.

-What is the difference between bottle and flask?

-Great, because bottle is closed with cork, and vial has viz.

-Beautiful!

-Our fathers drank well and emptied the potz.

-It's well shit sung. Let's drink!

- Do you want to ask for anything at the river? Cestuy cy will wash the guts.

-I'm not a boy more than a sponge.

-I boy like a Templar.

-And I tanquam sponsus.

-And me sicut terra sine aqua.

-A synonym of ham?

-It is a compulsive drinking; it's a colt. Through the foal we bring the wine down to the cellar; by the ham in the stomach.

- Now, to drink, to drink! There is no charge point. Respice personam; pone pro duets; bus no is in use.

-If I climbed as well as I swallowed, I would be high in the air.

-Thus is Jacques Cueur rich.

- Thus benefit boys in wasteland.

- So Bacchus conquered India.

-Thus Melinde philosophy.

-Small rain falls big sells. Long beuvettes break the barrel.

- But, if my testicle pissed such urine, would you like to suck it?

-I'll remember later.

-Paige, yawns; I insinuate to you my nomination in my turn

-Hume, Guillot! Still there is a jar.

-I go for calling of thirst as of abuse. Paige, relieve my fitness call.

-It's a rogue!

-I used to drink everything; now I leave nothing there.

- Don't haste and hoard everything well.

- Voycy guts of game and guodebillaux of envy of this fauveau with the black stripe. O, for God's sake, let us strangle him for the benefit of mesnaige!

-Drink, or I...

-No no!

-Drink, please.

- Sparrows do not eat except that we tap their tails; I don't want to be flattered unless I'm flattered.

-Lagona will edit! There's nothing in my whole body where that wine doesn't ferret out thirst.

-Cestuy cy whips her well.

-Cestuy cy will ban her from me at all.

-Let's corn here, to the sound of flasks and bottles, that whoever has lost his thirst does not have to look for it here: long clysters of drinking have made him see out of the house.

-The great God makes the planets and we make the platz netz.

-I have the word of God in my mouth: Sitio.

-The stone called _ABESTOS_ is more inextinguishable than the thirst of my Paternity.

- Appetite comes with eating, said Angest on Mans; thirst goes away by drinking.

-Remedy for thirst?

-It is contrary to that which is against dog bites: always run after the dog, never bite you; always drink before thirst, and it will never happen to you.

-I'll take you, I'll wake you up. Eternal sommelier, watch over us. Argus had a hundred eyes to see; It takes a sommelier a hundred hands, like Briareus, to tirelessly pour.

- Let's get wet, hay, it's a beautiful seicher!

-Of white! For everything, for from the devil! For this side, all full: my tongue peels me off.

- Lans, fuck!

-To you, companion! From hayt, from hayt!

-There! there! there! It's mortified, that.

-O lachryma Christi!

-It's from La Deviniere, it's pineau wine!

-O the nice white wine!

- And, by my soul, it is only wine of tafetas.

- Hey, hey, he's on the ear, well draped and of good wool.

-My comrade, be brave!

-For this game we won't, because I did a survey.

-Ex hoc in hoc. There is no point of enchantment; each of you has seen it; I have passed there.

-A brum! To mist! I am a Macé priest.

-O drinkers! O alter them!

-Paige, my friend, fill here and crown the wine, please.

- To the Cardinal!

-Natura abhorret vacuum.

- Would you say that a fly drank there?

-A la mode de Bretagne!

- Net, net, to this pyot!

-Swallow, these are herbs!”


Chapter VI

How Gargantua was born in a very strange way.



Eulx keep these minor remarks of drunkenness, Gargamelle began to feel bad from below, from which Grandgousier got up on the grass and comforted her honestly, thinking that it was childishly bad, and telling her that she was grassy there sobz la Saulsaye and that in brief she would be nine feet away: for this reason it suited her to take courage afresh at the new advent of her baby doll, and, although the pain would succeed him tolliroit all that is bored, so that only the memory of it would remain to him.

“Sheep courage (he said) hurry up with this one, and well, let's do another one.

-Ha! (she says) so much do you talk to your aize, you other men! Well, by God, I will force myself, since it pleases you. But to God you cut it!

-What? called Grandgousier.

-Ha! (she says) you are a good man! You hear it well.

-My member? (say he). Blood of the goats! If you like, have a knife brought.

-Ha! (she says) God forbid! God forgive me! I don't say it willingly, and for my word don't do it any more or any less. But I shall have much business today, if God does not help me, and all through your member, that you may be well supported.

- Courage courage! (say he). Don't worry about the rest and leave it to the four beefz in front. I see myself still drinking some veguade. If this pendant befall you some harm, I will stand by: hustling on my shoulders, I will surrender to you.”

Soon after, she began to sigh, moan and scream. Suddenly came to your wise women of all costs, and, testing her from below, found some pellauderies quite bad in taste, and thought that it was the child; but it was the foundation which escaped him, to the softening of the right intestine - which you call the cullier gut - by having eaten too much guts, as we have explained above.

Of which an old horde of the company, which had a reputation for being great medicine and there had come from Brizepaille from near Saint Genou before sixty years, gave him such a horrible restriction that all his larrys felt so much oppilated and tightened that at great poine , with the teeth, you would have widened them, which is a very horrible thing to think about: just as the devil, at the mass of Saint Martin writing the quaquet of two Gualoises, with beautiful teeth lengthened his parchment.

By this inconvenience, the cotyledons of the womb were released above, by which the child jumped up, and entered the hollow vein, and, etching through the diaphragm to the top of the shoulders (where the said vein splits in two), printed its path to the left, and left by the sinistral auricle.

Suddenly he was born, cried like other children: "Mies! crumbs! ", but aloud cried: "To drink! to drink! to drink! as if inviting everyone to drink, so that he was heard by the whole country of Beusse and Bibaroys.

I suspect you don't believe this strange nativity with confidence. If you don't believe it, I don't care, but a good man, a man of common sense, always believe what is told to him and what he finds in writing. Is it against our law, our faith, against reason, against Sacred Scripture? For my part, I find nothing written in the Holy Bibles against this. But, if the will of God such had been, would you say that he would not have done it? Ha, for grace, never get bored with these vain thoughts, because I tell you that with God nothing is impossible, and, if he wanted, women would henceforth have their children by the ear.

Wasn't Bacchus begotten by the thigh of Jupiter?
Didn't Rocquetaillade spring from his mother's heel?
Crocquemouche from his nurse's slipper?
Did not Minerva arise from the brain through the auricle of Jupiter?
Adonis by the bark of a mirrh tree?
Castor and Polux from the shell of an egg, bridge and locks by Leda?

But you would be much more amazed and astonished if I presently explained to you the whole chapter of Pliny in which speaks of strange and unnatural births; and all the same, I am not a liar as confident as he was. Read the seventh of his Natural History, capi. iij, and do not stupefy my understanding any longer.


CHAPTER VII

How the name was imposed on Gargantua and
how he smells the piot.



The good man Grandgousier, drinking and laughing with the others, heard the horrible cry that his son had made entering the light of this world, when he roared, asking: “A boyre! boyre! Boyre!” Of which he says: “How tall you are! (beg the glutton). What we heard, the assistants said, that he must have had by this the name Gargantua, since such was the first word of his father at his birth, in imitation and example of the ancient Hebrews. A quoy was condescended by icelluy, and pleases his mother very well. And, to appease him, they gave him to boyre at tire larigot, and was carried to the font and baptized there, as is the custom of good Christians.

And ten and seven thousand nine hundred and thirteen cows from Pautille and Brehemond were ordained to him to tend him ordinarily. For to find a sufficient nurse was not possible in all the country, considering the great quantity of milk required to feed him, how many Scotist doctors have affirmed that his mother milked him and that she could milk fourteen cents from her udders. two pipes, nine potfuls of milk for each time, which is not likely, and was the proposal of a mammalianly scandalous enlightenment, pitiful offensive ears, and smells of heresy from afar.

In this state passed until a year and ten months, at which time, by the advice of doctors, they began to carry it, and a beautiful ox cart was made by the invention of Jehan Denyau. Inside here they chased him around here and there happily; and it was good to see him, for he had a good figure and had almost ten and eight chins; and cried very little; but he shrank at all hours, for his buttocks were marvelously phlegmatic, as much from his natural complexion as from the accidental disposition which had come upon him from inhaling too much septembral mash. And did not humoy a drop of it without cause, for, if it happened that he was spiteful, angry, angry or married, if he stumped, if he wept, if he shouted, returned to nature, and suddenly remained coy and joyful.

One of his governesses told me, wearing his fy, that to do so he was so accustomed that at the mere sound of pinthes and flasks he entered into ecstasy, as if he were tasting the joys of paradise. So that they, considering his divine complexion, to cheer him up in the morning, made him ring glasses with a knife, or flasks with their toupon, or pinths with their lids, to which his shuddered, and he himself jostled, bobbing his head , monchordizing his fingers and baritoneing his ass.

CHAPTER VIII

How Gargantua is dressed.



Being at this age, his father ordered that he be dressed in his livery, which was white and blue. In fact, they were taken care of, and they were made, cut and sewn in the fashion that was current at the time. By the old pantarches, who are in the Chamber of Accounts at Montsoreau, I found that he was dressed in the way that follows:

For his shirt were raised nine hundred alders of Chasteleraud cloth, and two hundred for the cushions of a sort of check, which were placed under the armpits. And it was not gathered at all, because the fronsure of shirts has only been invented since the seamstresses, when the point of their needle was broken, began to need ass.

For his doublet were raised eight hundred and thirteen alders of white satin, and for the needles fifteen hundred nine skins and a half of dogs. Then the world began to tie the breeches to the doublet, and not the doublet to the breeches; for it is something against nature, as Olkam has amply declared in the Exponibles of M. Haultechaussade.

For its causeways were raised one hundred and five alders and a third of a white estamet. And were shredded in the form of columns, streaked and crenellated behind, so as not to overheat the loins. And flocked, inside the shreddedness, of blue damask as long as need was. And notice that he had very handsome griefves and well proportioned to the rest of his stature.

For the fly were lifted sixteen alders a quarter of the same cloth. And was the shape of it like a flying buttress, happily attached to two beautiful gold buckles, which took two enamel hooks, in each of which was set a large emerald the size of an apple. 'orange. For (as Orpheus says, libro De Lapidibus, and Pliny, libro ultimo) it has erective and comforting virtue of the natural member. The fly was the length of a cane, shredded like the breeches, with the blue damask floating as before. But, seeing the beautiful embroidery of canetille and the pleasing interlace of silverware, garnish with fine diamonds, fine rubies, fine turquoises, fine emeralds and Persian unions,you would have compared it to a beautiful cornucopia, such as you see in antiques, and such as Rhea gave birth to the two nymphs Adrastea and Ida, nurses of Jupiter; - always gualante, succulent, resudante, always green, always flowering, always fruitful, full of humors, full of flowers, full of fruit, full of all delights. I confess to God if it were not good to see her! But I will explain it to you much more in the book that I wrote De la dignity des flies. Of one case you warned that, if it were very long and very ample, if it was well furnished inside and well provisioned, in nothing resembling the hypocritical flies of a heap of lily of the valley, which are full only of wind, to the great interest of the female sex.and such as gave Rhea the two nymphs Adrastea and Ida, nurses of Jupiter; - always gualante, succulent, resudante, always green, always flowering, always fruitful, full of humors, full of flowers, full of fruit, full of all delights. I confess to God if it were not good to see her! But I will explain it to you much more in the book that I wrote De la dignity des flies. Of one case you warned that, if it were very long and very ample, if it was well furnished inside and well provisioned, in nothing resembling the hypocritical flies of a heap of lily of the valley, which are full only of wind, to the great interest of the female sex. and such as gave Rhea the two nymphs Adrastea and Ida, nurses of Jupiter;- always gualante, succulent, resudante, always green, always flowering, always fruitful, full of humors, full of flowers, full of fruit, full of all delights. I confess to God if it were not good to see her! But I will explain it to you much more in the book that I wrote De la dignity des flies. Of one case you warned that, if it were very long and very ample, if it was well furnished inside and well provisioned, in nothing resembling the hypocritical flies of a heap of lily of the valley, which are full only of wind, to the great interest of the female sex. always fruitful, full of humor, full of flowers, full of fruit, full of all delights. I confess to God if it were not good to see her!But I will explain it to you much more in the book that I wrote De la dignity des flies. Of one case you warned that, if it were very long and very ample, if it was well furnished inside and well provisioned, in nothing resembling the hypocritical flies of a heap of lily of the valley, which are full only of wind, to the great interest of the female sex. always fruitful, full of humor, full of flowers, full of fruit, full of all delights. I confess to God if it were not good to see her! But I will explain it to you much more in the book that I wrote De la dignity des flies.Of one case you warned that, if it were very long and very ample, if it was well furnished inside and well provisioned, in nothing resembling the hypocritical flies of a heap of lily of the valley, which are full only of wind, to the great interest of the female sex.

For his shoes were raised four hundred and six alders of crimson blue velvet. And were shredded nicely by parallel lines joined into uniform cylinders. For the quarreleure of iceulx, were employed one hundred skins of brown cow, cut with tails of hake.

For his saie were raised ten and eight hundred alders of blue velvet, tainted in grene, embroidered all around with beautiful vignettes and by the middle of pinths of silver of canetille, entangled with rods of gold with many pearls: by this indicating that he would be a good fessepinthe in his day.

Her belt was made of troys alder and half of silk cervix, half white and half blue (or I am very much mistaken).

His sword was not Valentienne, nor his dagger Sarragossoys, for his father hated all those indalgos bourrachous, marranized as devils; but he had the beautiful boy's sword and the dagger of boiled leather, pinched and gilded as everyone would wish.

His purse was made from the ball of a oriflant given to him by Her Pracontal, proconsul of Libya.

For her robe were lifted nine thousand six hundred alders less two-thirds of blue velvet as above, all porfiled with gold in a diagonal figure, of which, by just perspective, there was an nameless color, such as see the coulz of doves, which marvelously delighted the eyes. spectators.

For his cap were raised three hundred two alders a quarter of white velvet. And was the shape of icelluy large and round to the capacity of the chief, because his father said that these bonnets à la Marrabeise, made like a crust of pasta, would some day bring misfortune to their tonduz.

For its plumart there is a beautiful large blue feather, taken from an onocrotal from the land of Hircania the wild scull, very cutely hanging over the right ear.

For his image there was, in a gold plate weighing sixty-eight marks, a figure of competent enamel, in which was depicted a human body having two heads, one turned towards the other, four arms, four feet and two culz, as Plato says in Symposio, to have been human nature at its mystical beginning, and around it was written in Ionic letters: _AGAPH OU ZHTEI TA EAUTHS_.

To wear around the neck, there was a chain of gold weighing twenty-five thousand and sixty-three marks of gold, made in the form of large bacces, between which were in work large green jaspers, engraved and carved into dragons, all surrounded by stripes and sparkles, as King Necepsos once wore; and descended to the goatee of the upper abdomen: of which all his life had the emolument of it, as the Gregoys doctors know.

For his guands were implemented sixteen skins of goblins, and three of werewolves for the embroidery of iceulx; and such matters were made to him by the order of the cabalists of Sainlouand.

For his rings (which his father wanted, which he wore to renew the ancient sign of nobility) he had, on the index finger of his left hand, a carbuncle the size of an ostrich egg, very delicately set in seraph gold. On her medical finger was a ring made of the four metals together in the most marvelous fashion that had ever been seen, without the plate crumpling the gold, without the silver fouling the copper; the whole thing was done by Captain Chappuys and Alcofribas, his good postman. On the medical finger of the dexter was a ring made in the form of a spiral, in which was encased a sweep in perfection, a diamond in point, and an emerald of Physon, priceless, for Hans Carvel, great lapidary of the king of Melinde,estimated them at the value of sixty-nine millions huyt cens nonante and four thousand ten and huyt mutton a la grandwool; the Fourques d'Auxbourg esteemed him as much.


CHAPTER IX

The colors and livery of Gargantua.


The colors of Gargantua were white and blue, as you have read little above, and by them his father wanted it to be understood that he was a celestial joy; for the white signified to him joy, pleasure, delight and rejoicing, and the blue celestial things.

I fully understand that, reading these motz, you make fun of the old drinker and deem the exhibition of colors to be too crude and abhorrent, and dictate that white signifies faith and blue firmness. But, without moving, wrath, eschaufer or alter (because the weather is dangerous), respond to me, if you see fit. No other constraint will be used towards you, nor others, whoever they may be; only you will say a word of the bottle.

Who moves you? Who do you point? Who tells you that white means foy and blue means firmness? A (dictates you) trepelu book, which is sold by kisses and ball carriers, under the title: Blason des couleurs. Who did it? Whoever he is, he was careful that he didn't put his name on it. But, for the rest, I don't know what first in him I must admire, either his ultrecuidence or his bestery:

his ultrecuidence, who, without reason, without cause and without appearance, had to prescribe with his private authority what things would be denoted by the colors, which is the custom of tyrants who want their arbitrators to take the place of reason, not sages and scholars who for obvious reasons satisfy the readers;

his bullshit, which existed that, without other demonstrations and valid arguments, the world would regulate its currencies by its idle impositions.

In fact (as the proverb says: "A cul de foyrard tousjours abonde merde"), he found some remains of niays from the time of the haultz bonnetz, which had faith in his writings and according to them cut their apophthegms and dictated, in have encased their mules, dressed their pages, stretched their breeches, embroidered their guandz, fringed their lictz, painted their banners, composed songs, and (what is worse) made impostures and lax tricks clandestinely among the chaste matrons.

In such darkness are understood those glorious of courts and carriers of names, which, wanting in their divisions to signify hope, protract a sphere, feathers of birds for poines, ancholy for melancholy, the bicornuate moon to live as a crescent. , a broken bench for bench roupte, non et un alcret for non durhabit, a skyless lict for a licentiate, which are homonyms so inept, so bland, so rustic and barbaric, that one should attach a fox's tail to the collar and make a mask out of a cow's bouze for anyone who wants to use it in France from now on, after the restitution of good letters.

By my own reasons (if reasons must be named and not rechecked) I would make a penalty, denoting that I am being penalized; and a mustard jar, that's my long-awaited heart, and a piss jar, that's an official; and the bottom of my shoes is a petz vessel; and my fly is the registry of arrests; and a dog's estront is a trunk of ceans, where lies my love's love.

Quite otherwise, in ancient times the sayings of Egypt were made, when they wrote in letters which they called hieroglyphics, which no one heard who did not hear and everyone heard who understood the virtue, property and nature of things by these represented; of which Orus Apollo has composed two books in Greek, and Polyphile in the Dream of Love has expounded more. In France you have some transon in the motto of Monsieur l'Admirai which first brought Octavian Auguste.

But no longer will my crew sail between these chasms and ill-pleasing guez: I return to scale at the port from which I am born. Well, I hope to write some days more amply, and to show, as much for philosophical reasons as for authorities received and approved of all antiquity, what and how many colors are in nature, and what by each can be designated, - if God saves me the softness of the bonnet, it's the pot of wine, as my grandmother used to say.


CHAPTER X

What is meant by the colors white and blue.



The white therefore means joy, soul and jubilation, and not wrongly means it, but rightly and justly to check what you can verify if, behind your affections, you want to hear what you are presently exposing.

Aristoteles says that suppose two contrary things in their species, like good and evil, virtue and vice, cold and hot, white and black, pleasure and pain, joy and grief, and so on, if you combine them in such a way that If an opposite of one species reasonably agrees with an opposite of another, it is therefore that the other opposite is consistent with the other residue. Example: virtues and vices are contrary in a species; also are right and wrong; if one of the opposites of the first species agrees with one of the second, as virtues and good, for it is known that virtues are good, so will the two residues which are evil and vice, for vice is bad.

This logical rule understood, take these two opposites: joy and sadness, then these two: white and black, because they are physical opposites; if so, then, black means grievance, rightly white will mean joy.

And it is not this significance instituted by human imposition, but received by everyone's consent, that philosophers call jus gentium, universal law, valid in all countries.

As well enough know that all peoples, all nations - I except the ancient Syracusans and some Argives who had the wrong soul, all languages, want to demonstrate their sadness outwardly, wear black clothes, and all due is done by black. What universal consent is only made by nature does not give some argument and reason for it, which everyone can suddenly understand for themselves without otherwise being instructed by anyone, which we call natural law.

By the white, to the same induction of nature, everyone has heard joy, jubilation, soul, pleasure and delight.

In times gone by, the Thracians and Cretes signed the happy and happy days of white stones, the sad and unfortunate of black ones.

Isn't the night fatal, sad and melancholy? She is black and dark by deprivation. Clarity does it enjoy all nature? She is white more than anything. To what proof I could refer you to the book of Laurens Valle against Bartole; but the gospel testimony will satisfy you: Math. xvij, is said that, at the Transfiguration of Our Lord, vestimenta ejus facta sunt alba sicut lux, his vestments were made white as light, by which luminous whiteness gave his three apostles to understand the idea and figure of eternal joys. Because by the clarity are all human esjouiz, as you have the dict of an old woman who had no dens in the face, still said she: Bona lux.And Theobius (cap. v) when he had lost his sight, when Raphael saluted him, answered: “What joy could I have, who does not see the light of heaven? In such a color witnessed the angels the joy of the whole universe at the Resurrection of the Savior (Joan. xx) and at his Ascension (Act. j). Of similar adornment veit Saint John Evangelist (Apocal. iiij and vij) the faithful vestuz in the celestial and beatified Hierusalem.

Read ancient stories, both Greek and Roman. You will find that the city of Albe (first patron of Rome) was built and called upon for the invention of a white sow.

You will find that, if at any one, after having had victory over enemies, it was decreed that he enter Rome in a triumphant state, he would enter there on a chariot drawn by white horses; so much the one who entered in ovation; for by sign nor color can more certainly express the joy of their coming than by whiteness.

You will find that Pericles, Duke of the Athenians, wanted that part of his men in arms, to whom by fate had come the white beans, to pass the whole day in joy, peace and rest, while those on the other side fought. A thousand other examples and places on this subject I could explain to you, but this is not the place.

By means of which intelligence can you solve a problem, which Alexander Aphrodisias reputed insoluble: "Why the lion, who with his only cry and roar terrifies all animals, only fears and reveres the white cock? For (as Proclus says, lib. De Sacrificio et Magia) it is because the presence of the virtue of the sun, which is the organ and promptuary of all terrestrial and sidereal light, is more symbolizing and competent to the white rooster. , both for this color and for its specific property and order, as well as in lesson. More said than in leonine form they were often seen devils, which in the presence of a white rooster suddenly disappeared.

This is the reason why Galli (these are the Françoys, so called because whites are naturally like milk that the Greeks call gala) voluntarily wear white feathers on their caps; for by nature they are joyful, candid, gratifying and very bitter, and for their symbol and sign have the flower more than any other white: it is the lily.

If you ask how by nature white color induces us to hear joy and jubilation, I answer you that the analogy and conformity is such. For - as the white outwardly disintegrates and obscures the view, manifestly dissolves the visible spirits, according to the opinion of Aristoteles in his Problems and Perspectives (and see it from experience when you pass the snow-covered mountains, so that you pity of not being able to look well, as Xenophon writes to have happened to his people, and as Galen amply exposes, lib. x, De usu partium) - so the heart by excellent joy is interiorly spart and patist manifest resolution of esperitz viteaulx; which can be so acute that the heart would remain deprived of its maintenance, and consequently would be the life extinguished by this perichairy, as says Galen lib.xij Metho., li. v, De locis affectis, and li. ij , De symptomaton causis, et comme estre au temps temps passé testify Marc Tulle, li. j Question. Tuscul., Verrius, Aristoteles, Titus Live, after the battle of Cannes, Pliny. lib. vij, c. xxxij and liij, A. Gellius, li. iij, xv., and others, to Diagoras Rodien, Chilo, Sophocles, Diony, tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, Philemon, Polycrata, Philistion, M. Juventi and others who died of joy, and as dict Avicenna (in ij canon et lib De Viribus cordis) of zaphran, which both delights the heart and robs it of life, if taken in excessive doses, by resolution and superfluous dilation. Here see Alex. Aphrodisian, lib. primo Problematum, c.xix.. And for good reason . and as being in the past tense happened testify Marc Tulle, li. j Question. Tuscul., Verrius, Aristoteles, Titus Live, after the battle of Cannes, Pliny. lib. vij, c. xxxij and liij, A. Gellius, li. iij, xv., and others, to Diagoras Rodien, Chilo, Sophocles, Diony, tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, Philemon, Polycrata, Philistion, M. Juventi and others who died of joy, and as dict Avicenna (in ij canon et lib De Viribus cordis) of zaphran, which both delights the heart and robs it of life, if taken in excessive doses, by resolution and superfluous dilation. Here see Alex. Aphrodisian, lib. primo Problematum, c. xix.. And for good reason .and as being in the past tense happened testify Marc Tulle, li. j Question. Tuscul., Verrius, Aristoteles, Titus Live, after the battle of Cannes, Pliny. lib. vij, c. xxxij and liij, A. Gellius, li. iij, xv., and others, to Diagoras Rodien, Chilo, Sophocles, Diony, tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, Philemon, Polycrata, Philistion, M. Juventi and others who died of joy, and as dict Avicenna (in ij canon et lib De Viribus cordis) of zaphran, which both delights the heart and robs it of life, if taken in excessive doses, by resolution and superfluous dilation. Here see Alex. Aphrodisian, lib. primo Problematum, c. xix.. And for good reason .Chilo, Sophocles, Diony, tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, Philemon, Polycrata, Philistion, M. Juventi and others who died of joy, and as Avicenna says (in ij canon et lib. De Viribus cordis) of the zaphran, which so much enjoys the heart that it strips it of life, if one takes an excessive amount of it, by resolution and superfluous dilation. Here see Alex. Aphrodisian, lib. primo Problematum, c. xix.. And for good reason . Chilo, Sophocles, Diony, tyrant of Sicily, Philippides, Philemon, Polycrata, Philistion, M. Juventi and others who died of joy, and as Avicenna says (in ij canon et lib. De Viribus cordis) of the zaphran, which so much enjoys the heart that it strips it of life, if one takes an excessive amount of it, by resolution and superfluous dilation.Here see Alex. Aphrodisian, lib. primo Problematum, c. xix.. And for good reason .

But what! I enter further into this matter than I established at the beginning. Here, therefore, I call my veils, putting the rest in the book in this consume at all, and say in a word that blue certainly signifies the sky and celestial things, by the same symbols that white signifies joy and pleasure.


CHAPTER XI

From Gargantua's adolescence.



Gargantua, from the age of three until the age of five, was nurtured and instituted in all proper discipline, by the command of his father, and that time passed like the little children of the country: that is to know how to drink, eat and sleep; to eat, sleep and drink; to sleep, drink and eat.

He would always wallow in the mire, mask his nose, warm his face, sharpen his shoes, often brush his flies, and happily run after the parpaillons, from which his father held the empire. He pissed on his shoes, he wet his shirt, he scrunched his sleeves, he died in his soup, and patrolled everywhere, and drank in his slipper, and usually rubbed his belly with a basket. His teeth licked with a hoof, his hands washed with soup, pricked himself with a beaker, sat down between two saddles with his ass on the ground, covered himself with a wet bag, drank while eating his soup, ate his focaccia without bread. , laughingly biting, biting, often spitting in the pool, petting with fat, pissing against the sun, hiding in the water for the rain, batting cold,believed that bare straws were straws and that bladders were lanterns, drew two moustures out of a bag, made asne to get some bren, made a mallet with his fist, took the cranes of the first jump, wanted mesh to mesh we made the haubergeons , from a given horse always looked in the mouth, jumped from the cock to the donkey, put between two verdes a death, made the earth the fousé, guarded the moon of the wolves, if the clouds fell hoping to catch the larks, did virtues of necessity, lavish with such soup bread, cared as little for the raitz as for the shearling, every morning flayed the fox. His father's little dogs ate in his bowl; he himself ates with them. He bit their ears, they scratched his nose; he blew in their ass, they give him the badigoinces.And sabez quey, hillotz? What bad pipe you byre! This little bawdy boy always groped his governesses, top down, front to back, - Harry Bourriquets! - and already began to exercise his fly, which one day his governments adorned with beautiful bouquets, beautiful ribbons, beautiful flowers, beautiful flocks, and spent their time making it return to their hands like a magdaleon of intercourse, then guffawed with laughter when she raised her ears, as if the game had pleased them.

One called her my little daughter, the other my cock, the other my branch of coural, the other my bung, my cork, my vibrator, my possouer, my teriere, my pendilloche, my rough stiff and low frolic, my dressouoir, my little crimson andoille, my little testicle empty-handed.

"She's mine," said one.

- It's mine, said the other.

- Moy (said the other), will I have nothing there? By my faith, I will therefore cut it off.

- Ha cut! (said the other); you would hurt him, Madam; do you cut off the thing to the children? He would be Monsieur sans queue. »

And, to frolic like the little children of the country, they made him a beautiful virollet from the aesles of a windmill at Myrebalays.


CHAPTER XII

Dummy horses from Gargantua.



Then, so that all his life he would be a good rider, he was given a fine big boy's horse, which he made hover, jump, flutter, kick and dance all together, go at a walk, trot, tweak, gualot, the ambles, the hobin, the trap, the camelin and the onager, and made him change his hair (as the monks of courtibaux do according to the festivals), bailbrun, chestnut, dappled gray, hair of rat, deer, Rouen, cow, zencle, pecile, pye, leuce.

Himself from a big train fisted a horse for the hunt, another from a pressing barrel every day, and from a large chain a mule with a cover for the bedroom. Still he had ten or twelve at relays and seven for the post office. And all of them put to sleep near you.

One day the Lord of Painensac visited his father in full force and appeared, on which day he had likewise come to see the Duke of Francrepas and the Count of Mouillevent. By my faith, the lodging was a little cramped for so many people, and particularly the stables; so the innkeeper and quartermaster of the said lord of Painensac, to find out if elsewhere in the house there were stables for horses, addressed himself to Gargantua, a young lad, asking him secretly where the stables of the great horses were, thinking that the children would gladly detect All.

Then he led them through the great steps of the chateau, passing through the second room, into a large gallery through which they entered a large tower, and, they climbing up other steps, said the quartermaster to the innkeeper:

“This child deceives us, because the stables are never at the top of the house.

- It's (said the hosteller) misunderstood you, because I know places, in Lyons, at La Basmette, at Chaisnon and elsewhere, where the stables are at the highest level of the house; thus, perhaps behind there is a yssue at the montouer. But I would ask more confidently. »

Then asked Gargantua:

“My little darling, where are you taking us?

- At the stable (says it) of my great horses. We're there sometime, let's just climb these ladders. »

Then, passing them through another large hall, led them into his bedroom, and, pulling back the door:

“Here (says) the estables that you ask for; here is my genet, here is my guildin, my lavedan, my trap »

And, load them with a large book:

“I give you (dist he) this phryzon; I got it from Frankfurt, but it will be yours; it is good little easel and great pain. With only a treblet around, half a dozen hespanolz and two greyhounds, you are king of the partridges and hares for all this winter.

- By Saint John! (said Ilz) we're good! At this hour we have the monk.

- I tell you nye (dist it). It was only three days ago. »

Guess here which of the two ilz had more matter, or to hide for their shame, or to laugh for the pastime.

Eulx in this step, all confused, he asked:

“Would you like a hawser?

- Who is it? they say.

- These are (he replied) five pieces to make you a muzzle.

- For today's day (said the hosteller), if we're roustiz, we won't be burning in the fire, because we're larded to the point, in my opinion. O little darling, you gave us hay in horn, I will see you some day pope.

- I hear it (dist it) so; but then you'll be a butterfly, and this nice Papeguay will be a ready-made Papelard.

- See, see, said the quartermaster.

- But (dist Gargantua) guess how many needlepoints there are in my mother's shirt.

- Sixteen, said the quartermaster.

- You (dist Gargantua) do not dictate the Gospel: for there is a sense before and a sense behind, and the counts too badly.

- When? (said the quartermaster).

- Then (dist Gargantua) let your nose be made into a dille to draw a muy of shit, and your throat a funnel to put it in another vessel, because the melts were esventez.

- Goodbye! (dist the butler) we found a conversationalist. Mr. Talkative, God protect you from harm, your mouth is so fresh! »

Thus descends with great haste, under the arch of the steps let fall the great book which he had loaded them with; of which said Gargantua:

“What the deuce are you bad riders! Your Courtault will need you if need be. If you had to go from here to Cahusac, which would you like better, or riding a baby bird, or leading a sow on a leash?

"I would like better boyre," said the quartermaster.

And, saying this, entered the dirty basement where the whole brigade was, and, telling this new story, made them laugh like a pile of flies.


CHAPTER XIII

How Grandgousier knew the marvelous spirit
from Gargantua to the invention of a torchass



At the end of the fifth year, Grandgousier, returning from the defeat of the Ganarrians, visited his son Gargantua. There it was rejoiced how such a father could see such a child of his own, and, kissing him and clinging to him, interrogated him with little puerile remarks of various sorts. And drank all the more with him and his governesses, whom with great care asked, among other cases, if they had kept him white and clean. To this Gargantua replied that he had given such an order that in all the country there was no one fairer than him.

"What do you mean? called Grandgousier.

I have (answered Gargantua) by long and curious experience invented a means of wiping my ass, the most lordly, the most excellent, the most expedient that ever was seen.

- What? said Grandgousier.

- As you will tell (dist Gargantua) presently.

“I wiped myself once with a damsel's velvet cachet, and found it good, for the softness of its silk gave me a very great pleasure at the bottom;

“another time from a capron of ycelles, and felt from the same;

“another time from a color cache;

“another time crimson satin auricles, but the gilding of a pile of shitty spheres that were there scratched my whole behind; May the holy fire ardent the particular gut of the goldsmith who made them and of the damsel who wore them!

“This illness passed, wiping me with a paige cap, well feathered at La Souice.

“Then, sneaking behind a bush, found a cat from Mars; d'iceluy torched me, but his gryphs ulcerated my whole perineum.

"From this gueryz to me the next day, wiping myself with my mother's guands, well perfumed with maujoin.

“Then I torched myself with saulge, fennel, dill, marjoram, roses, courle leaves, cabbage, chard, vine vines, guymaulves, verbasce (which is scarlatte de cul), lactus and leaves of spinach, - the whole thing does me great good for my leg, - of mercuriale, of persiguire, of nettles, of consolde; but I had Lombard's cacquesangue, whose fiery gary wiped me with my fly.

"Then wiped me with the shrouds, the blanket, the curtains, a cushion, a carpet, a green, a map, a towel, a mouschenez, a bathrobe. In all, I found more pleasure than the roigneux have when they are scoured .

- Voyre, but (dist Grandgousier) which torchecul did you find better?

- I was there (dist Gargantua), and well everyone will know the you autem. I wiped myself with hay, straw, candy, stuffing, wool, paper. Aim

Always leave to the fools esmorche
Who her hord paper ass torch.

- What! (dist Grandgousier) my little idiot, have you taken to the pot, since you already rhyme? - Ouy dea (answered Gargantua), my king, I rhyme so much and more, and by rhyming often enrime me. Listen to what our retreat says to fianteurs:

Chiart,
Fairart,
petard,
Brenous,
your bacon
Chappart
breaks away
Know us.
Hordus,
Shits,
Esgous,

The fire of Saint Antoine te ard!
Sy all
your holes
Esclous
You do not torch before your departure!

“Do you want some adventage?

- Ouy dea, replied Grandgousier.

- Adoncq dist Gargantua:

RONDEAU

By shitting the other hyer senty
The guabelle that to my ass doibs;
The smell felt other than Cuydois:
I felt stinky at all.
Oh! If anyone had consented
Bring me one that you wait for
By shitting!
Because I would have liked him
Her urine hole to my heavyweights;
However had with his fingers
My guaranteed shit hole
By shitting.

“Now tell me that I don't know anything about it! By the sea, I did not make them, but hearing them recite to a great lady who sees, retained them in the gibbet of my memory.

- Let's go back (dist Grandgousier) to our subject.

- What? (dist Gargantua) shit?

- No (dist Grandgousier), but wipe your ass.

- But (dist Gargantua) would you like to buy a bussart of Breton wine if I believe you quinault in this regard?

- Yes, really, said Grandgousier.

- There is (dist Gargantua) no need to wipe your ass, otherwise there is garbage; garbage can't be there if we haven't shit; so shit we need to before the ass torcher.

- O (dist Grandgousier) that you have good sense, little guarsonnet! These first days I will make you become a doctor of merry science, by God! because you have more reason than age. But continue this torcheculative subject, I beg you. And, by my beard! for a bussart you will have sixty pippes, I mean of this good Breton wine, which does not grow in Brittany, but in this good country of Verron.

- I torched myself after (dist Gargantua) with a headgear, an aureiller, a pantophle ugne, a gibbessière ugne, a basket but oh the evil pleasant torchecul! then a hat. And note that of the hats, some are shaved, others naked, others velvety, others padded, others satinize. Best of all is hair celluy, for it does very good abstersion of faecal matter.

“Then torched me with a hen, a rooster, a chicken, the skin of a calf, a hare, a pigeon, a cormorant, a bag of avocado, a barbute, a coypha, a lure.

“But, conclude, I disagree and maintain that there is no such ass but a well-dummed oyzon, provided you hold his head between his legs. And believe me on my honor. Because you feel in the asshole a marvelous voluptuousness, as much by the sweetness of the dumet icelluy as by the temperate heat of the poison, which easily is communicated to the particular bowel and other intestines, until reaching the region of the heart and the stomach . brain. And think only of the beatitude of the heroes and semi-gods, who are by the Elysian Champs, either in their asphodel, or ambrosia, or nectar, as these old ycys say. It is (in my opinion) in that they wipe their ass of an Oyzon, and such is the opinion of Maistre Jehan d'Escosse. »


CHAPTER XIV

How Gargantua was instituted by a sophist in Latin letters.



Hearing these remarks, the worthy Grandgousier was delighted in admiration, considering the high sense and marvelous understanding of his son Gargantua. And said to his governments:

“Philip, king of Macedone, knew the good sense of his son Alexander to handle a horse dexterously, because the said horse was so terrible and frantic that no one was allowed to ride on it, because to all his riders he yawned the jerk, at the one breaking the neck, the other the legs, the other the brains, the other the mandibles. What Alexander considering in the hippodrome (which was the place where the horses were led and wanted), decided that the fury of the horse came only from the fear he took in his shadow. Of which, mounting on it, the feist run against the sun, so that the shadow fell behind, and by this means made the horse soft to his will. To what did his father understand the divine understanding that was in him, and had him very well indoctrinated by Aristoteles,

“But I tell you that in this single remark that I have now made before you to my son Gargantua, I know that his understanding partakes of some divinity, so much do I see him sharp, subtle, deep and serene, and will reach a degree sovereign of sapience, if it is well instituted. However, I want to give him to some learned man to indoctrinate him according to his ability, and I don't want to spare anything. »

In fact, he was taught a great sophist doctor named Master Thubal Holoferne, who gave him his charter so well that he said it by heart backwards; and was there five years and three months. Then he gave him Donatus, the Facet, Theodolet and Alanus in Parabolis and was there thirteen years six months and two weeks.

But note that, however, he taught him to write Gothically and wrote all his books, for the art of printing was not yet in use.

And ordinarily carried a large escritoire weighing more than seven thousand quintaulx, of which the gualimart was as big and tall as the large pillars of Enay, and the cornet hung from it on heavy iron chains to the capacity of a barrel of merchandise.

Then he begged De modis significandi, with the commens of Hurtebize, Fasquin, Tropditeulx, Gualehaul, Jean le Veau, Billonio, Brelinguandus, and a host of others; and was there more than ten eight years and one month. And knew it so well that, at the coupelaud, he gave it back by heart, and proved on his fingers to his mother that de modis significandi non erat scientia.

Then he levied him the Compost, where he was quite sixteen years and two months old, when his said tutor died; and was the year one thousand four hundred and twenty, from the pox that came to him.

Afterwards, there was another old cougher, named Maistre Jobelin Bridé, who leugt him Hugutio, Hebrard Grecisme, the Doctrinal, the Pars, the Quid est, the Supplementum, Marmotret, De moribus in mensa servandis, Seneca De quatuor virtutibus cardinalibus, Passavantus cum Commento, and Dormi secure for parties, and some other similar flour. On reading which he became as clever as ever and then we were.


CHAPTER XV

How Gargantua was placed under other pedagogical methods.



So his father realized that he really studied very well and put all his time into it, although nothing was profitable and, what was worse, he went mad about it, but he was all dreamy and fed up.

Hence, complaining to Don Philippe des Marays, viceroy of Papeligosse, he heard that it would be better for him to learn nothing than such books under such preceptors to learn, for their knowledge was nothing but bullshit and their sapience was nothing but mittens, bastardizing the good and noble spirit and corrupt every flower of youth.

“So be it, take (said it) any of these young people of the present time, who have only studied for two years. In case he does not have better judgment, better words, better talk than your son, and better maintenance and honesty among the world, reput me for ever a sizebacon from La Brene. What at Grandgousier rained very well, and commanded that thus was done.

In the evening, while having supper, the Ledict des Marays brought in his own young Paige de Villegongys, named Eudemon, so well tested, so well drawn, so well dusted, so honest in his demeanor, that he looked too much better like a little cherub than a man. Then said to Grandgousier:

“Do you see this young child? He is only twelve years old; let us see, if you think fit, what difference there is between the knowledge of your mateologian dreamers of the past and the young people of today. »

The essay rained in Grandgousier, and ordered that the paige propozast. Then Eudemon, asking leave to do this to the Viceroy, his master, cap in hand, face open, mouth red, eyes beating, and looking at him seated on Gargantua with youthful modesty, stood on his feet, and began to praise him. and magnify first of his virtues and good morals, secondly of his knowledge, thirdly of his nobility, fourthly of his bodily beauty, and, for the fifth, gently exhorted him to revere his father in all observance, who so much studied himself to to instruct him well, in short, he prayed that he should choose to retain him for the least of his servants, for no other gift for the present required heaven, except that he should be gracious enough to please him in some agreeable service.

But all the countenance of Gargantua was that he began to cry like a cow and hid his face with his cap, and it was not possible to draw a word from him any more than a fart from a dead donkey.

With which his father was so angry that he wanted to slay Maistre Jobelin. But the edict of the Marays kept him from it by a fine remonstrance which he offered him, in the manner that was his moderate ire. Then he ordered that he be paid for his guaiges and that he be made to shop sophistically, that fact, that he go to all the devils.

“At least (he said) for the day of Huy it will hardly cost his host, if by chance he died thus, or like an Angloys.”

Maistre Jobelin left the house, consulted Grandgousier with the viceroy what tutor could be given to him, and was informed between them that in this office would be put Ponocrates, pedagogue of Eudemon, and that all together would go to Paris, to find out what was the study of the young people of France for that time.


CHAPTER XVI

How Gargantua was sent to Paris, and of the enormous mare that carried him and how she defeated the bovine flies of Beauce.



In this same season, Fayoles, fourth king of Numidia, sent from the country of Africa to Grandgousier a mare the most enormous and the largest that had ever been seen, and the most monstrous (as you know enough that Africa always brings something new) , for she was as tall as six oriflans, and had her feet split into fingers like the horse of Julius Cesear, her ears hanging down like the goats of Languegoth, and a little horn in her ass. For the rest, he had chestnut chestnut coat, interlaced with gray cheekbones. But above all he had a horrible tail, for it was, more or less, as big as the Saint Mars pile, near Langès, and thus square, with the stretchers no more and no less entangled than the espicz in the bled.

If you marvel, marvel more at the tail of the rams of Scythia, which weighed more than thirty pounds, and of the sheep of Suria, you must (if Tenaud says true) sharpen a cart in the ass to carry it, so great is it long and heavy. You don't have it, you other flat country bastards.

And was brought by sea, in three carracks and a brigantine, to the port of Olone in Thalmondoys.

When Grandgousier sees her: “Here (says it) well the case to take my son to Paris. But that, by God, all will be well. He will be a great clerk in time to come. Were it not for the beasts, we would live as clerks. »

The next day, after boyre (as you hear), took the road Gargantua, his tutor Ponocrates, and his people, together them Eudemon, the young paige. And because it was a healthy and temperate weather, his father had him make wild boxes; Babin calls them boots.

Thus joyously passed their long way, and always with great dear, to the top of Orleans. In which place was an ample forest of the length of thirty and five leagues, and of width ten and seven, or approximately. It was horribly fertile and plentiful in bovine flies and freslons, so that it was a real briguanderye for the poor mares, donkeys and horses. But the mare of Gargantua honestly avenged all the outrages in this area perpetrated on the beasts of her species by a trick which no one suspected. Because, suddenly they had entered the said forest and the freslons had delivered the assault, she stripped her tail and skirmished so well that she shot the boys. Wrongly, across, on this side, from there, by cy, by there, along, across, above, below,

Seeing that, Gargantua took great pleasure in it without boasting otherwise, and said to his people: "I find this beautiful," which has since been called this country Beauce. But all their lunch was by kissing; in memory of which even now the gentlemen of Beauce breakfast at baisler, and find themselves very well, and only spit better

Finally they arrived in Paris, where they refreshed themselves for two or three days, having a good time with their people, and wondering what learned people were in the city at the time and what wine they drank there.


CHAPTER XVII

How Gargantua paid his welcome to Parisians and how he impressed the big bells of the Notre Dame church.



A few days after they felt refreshed, he visited the city, and was seen by everyone in great admiration, for the people of Paris are so stupid, so stupid and so inept by nature, that a basteleur, a carrier of rogatons, a mule with his cymbals, an old man in the middle of a crossroads, will gather more people than a good evangelical preacher would.

And they pursued him so violently that he was forced to rest on the towers of the Church of Our Lady. In which place being, and seeing so many people around him, said clerically:

“I believe that these brats want me to pay them here for my welcome and my proficiate. It is right. I see them give the wine, but it will only be by rys. »

Then, with a smile, unfastened his beautiful fly, and, pulling his mentule in the air, compiled them so sourly that he drowned two hundred and sixty thousand, four hundred and ten and eighty, without the women and little children.

Some number of people evacuated this pissfort with lightness of foot, and, when they were at the height of the University, sweating, coughing, spitting and out of breath, began to deny and swear, the ungs in anger, the others by rys: “Carymary, carymara! By holy Mamye, we are bathed by rys! From which was since the city named Paris, which before was called Leucece, as dict Strabo, lib. iij, that is to say, in Greek, Blanchette, for the white thighs of the ladies of the said place.And, inasmuch as to this new imposition of the name all the assistants each swore the saints of his parish, the Parisians, who are made of all people and all parts, are by nature and good swearers and good jurists, and somewhat oultrecuydez, whose esteem Joaninus de Barranco, libro De copiositate reverentiarum,

This fact, consider the great bells that were erected in the towers, and make them ring very harmoniously. What he did, it occurred to him that they would serve well as campanes around the neck of his mare, which he wanted to send back to his father all laden with froumaiges de Brye and harans frays. In fact, took them to his home.

However, a ham commander from Saint Antoine came to do his suille quest. but because they were somewhat too heavy to reach. Cil was not Bourg's celluy, for he is too much of my friend.

The whole city was stirred up in sedition, as you know that it is so easy for foreign nations to marvel at the patience of the Kings of France, who otherwise by good justice do not restrain them, see the inconvenience that come out of it. in days. Pray to God that I see the pharmacy in which these schisms and monopolies are forged, to show them to the brotherhoods of my parish!

Believe that the place to which the people, all frenzied and drunken, was agreed was Nesle, where then was, now is no longer the oracle of Lucece. There the case was proposed and the inconvenience of the bells transported was demonstrated. After much quibbling pro and contra, it was concluded in Baralipton that the oldest and most smug of the Faculty would be sent to Gargantua to show him the horrible inconvenience of the loss of these bells, and, notwithstanding the remonstrance of others of the University who alleged that this charge was better suited to an orator than to a sophist, it was in this matter our master Janotus de Bragmardo.


CHAPTER XVIII

How Janotus of Bragmardo Was Sent
to cover the big bells with Gargantua.



Maistre Janotus, shorn a la cesarine, dressed in his antique lyripipion, and well antidoted to his stomach with coudignac de four and beniste water from the cellar, went to the lodgings of Gargantua, touching himself beforehand with his troy vedeaulx à rouge muzeau, and dragging along after five or six inert masters, well muck to profit from mesnaige.

At the entrance Ponocrates met them, and was terrified in himself, seeing them thus disguised, and thought that they felt some masks out of sense. Then inquired to one of the said inert masters of the gang, what this mommy would want. He was answered that they asked for the bells to be returned to them.

Suddenly hearing this remark, Ponocrates ran to tell the news to Gargantua, so that he would be ready to respond and deliberate on the spot what was to be done. Gargantua, admonished by the case, called separately Ponocrates his tutor, Philotomy his innkeeper, Gymnast his squire, and Eudemon, and summarily conferred with them on what was both to do and to answer. All were of the opinion that they were threatened with the withdrawal of the goblet and there they were rudely beaten, and, so that this cougher would not enter into vainglory for at his request having returned the bells, they were ordered, however that he would chop, summon the provost of the city, the rector of the faculty, the vicar of the church, esquelz, before the sophist had proposed his commission, the bells would be delivered.After that, iceulx present, we heard his beautiful harangue. This was done, and the aforesaid arrived, the sophist was ushered in, and began as follows, coughing.


CHAPTER XIX

The harangue of Master Janotus of Bragmardo
made in Gargantua to recover the bells.



“Hey, hey, hey! Mna dies, sir, mna dies, and vobis, gentlemen. It would only be good for us to return our bells, for they are very much needed. Heh, heh, hash! We had many other times refused good money from those of London in Cahors, if we had those of Bourdeaulx in Brye, who wanted to buy them for the substantial quality of the elementary complexion that is enthroned in the earthiness of their quidditative nature to extraneize the halotz and the turbines on our vines, really not ours, but from here near; for if we lose the piot, we lose everything, sense and law.

"If you give them back to us at my request, I'll get six pieces of saulcices in them and a good pair of breeches that will do my legs good, or they won't keep my promise." Oh! by God, Domine, a pair of breeches is good, and vir sapiens non abhorrebit eam. Ha! Ha! he doesn't have a pair of breaches who wants, I know it well as far as I'm concerned! Advise, Domine; For ten and eight days I have been mulling over this beautiful harangue: Reddite que sunt Cesaris Cesari, et que sunt Dei Deo. Ibi jacet lepus.

“By my faith, Domine, if you want to have supper with me in camera, by the body God! charitatis, our faciemus bonum cherubim. Ego occidi unum porcum, et ego habet bon vino. But of good wine one cannot make a bad Latin.

“Or sus, de parte Dei, date nobis bellas nostras. Here, I give you from the Faculty ung Sermones de Utino that, utinam, you give us our bells, Vultis etiam pardonos? Per diem, your habebitis and nihil poyabitis.

“O Monsieur Domine, clochidonnaminor nobis! Dea, est bonum urbis. Everyone uses it. If your mare is well, so does our Faculty, que comparata est jumentis insipientibus et similis facta est eis, psalmo nescio quo... If I have quoted her well in my paperwork, et est unum bonum Achilles. Heh, heh, heh, hash!

"That! I prove to you that you owe them to me. Ego sic argumentor:

“Omnis bella clochabilis, in clocherio clochando, clochans clochativo clochare facit clochabiliter clochantes Parisius habet clochas Ergo gluc.

“Ha, ha, ha, that's spoken! It is in third prime, in Darii or elsewhere. By my soul, I have seen the time that I was devilishly arguing, but now I only dream, and from now on I only need good wine, good bed, my back to the fire, my belly to the table and very deep ladder.

“Hay, Domine, I pray you, in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, amen, that you return our bells, and God forbid you from harm, and Our Lady of Health, who lives and reigns per omnia secula seculorum, amen. Hen, hash, hash, grenhenhash!

“Verum enim vero, quando quidem, dubio procul, edepol quoniam, ita certe, meus Deus fidus, a city without bells is like a blind man without a fight, an ass without a cropiere, and a cow without cymbals. Until we give them back, we will not stop shouting after you like a blind man who has lost his stick, braising like an ass without a cropiere, and brawling like a cow without cymbals.

“A latinizing quidam, living near the Hostel Dieu, said once, alleging the authority of a Taponnus, - I am wrong: it was Pontanus, secular poet, - whom he wanted them to be written and the battle was like a fox's tail, because they spawned a chronicle in the guts of his brain when he was composing his carminiform verses. But, nac petitin petetac, ticque, torch, lorne, he was hereticically enlightened; we make them like wax. And no longer says the applicant. Valete and plaudite. Calepinus recensui. »


CHAPTER XX

How the sophist took away his sheet,
and how he had lawsuits against the other masters.



The sophist had no sooner finished than Ponocrates and Eudemon guffawed with laughter so profoundly that they finally gave up their souls to God, no less than Crassus, seeing a couillart asne eating thistles, and like Philemon, seeing an ass who ate the figs that had been eaten for dinner, died from the strength of laughter. Together they began to laugh Maistre Janotus, to whom better better, as long as the tears came to their eyes by the vehement concussion of the substance of the brain, in which were expressed these lachrymal and transcoulled moistness adjoining the optic nerves. In which by them was Democritus heraclitizant and Heraclyte democritizant represented.

These rys at all sedez, consulted Gargantua with his people what to do. There Ponocrates was of the opinion that this handsome orator should be reboyred, and, seeing that he had given them a pastime and made them laugh more than Songecreux had, that they should give him the ten sides of saulcice mentioned in the joyful harangue, with only a pair of breeches, three hundred fat boys of mulle, twenty-five muitz of wine, a bed, with triple coat of anserine feather, and a very capable and deep bowl, which were said to be necessary for his old age.

Everything was done as had been deliberated, except that Gargantua, doubting that convenient shoes for his legs could not be found at the time, doubting also in what way they would best owe to the said orator, or to the martingualle which is a drawbridge of ass to ease it more easily, or at the mariniere to better relieve the kidneys, or at the Souice to keep the belly warm, or at the tail of hake for fear of overheating the loins, he had to deliver seven alders of black cloth, and three of blanket for the lining. The boys were carried by the guaingnedeniers; the masters of the arts carried the saulcices and bowls; Maistre Janot wanted to carry the sheet.

One of the said masters, named Maistre Jousse Bandouille, reminded him that he was not honest or decent of his status and that he bailed it out to one of them.

"Ha! (dist Janotus) donkey, donkey, you don't conclude poinct in modo et figura. This is what suppositions and parva logicalia are for. Panus pro quo supponit?

- Confused (dist Bandouille) and distributive.

- I do not ask you (dist Janotus), donkey, quo modo supponit, but pro quo; it is, donkey, protibiis meis. And for this the porteray I egomet, sicut suppositum portat adpositum. »

And so he carried off stealthily, as Patelin feist his sheet.

The good was when the cougher, gloriously, in full act held at the Mathurins, required his breeches and saulcices; for peremptorily they denied him, inasmuch as he had had them from Gargantua, according to the information on this fact. He showed them that it had been free of charge and of his liberality, by which they were not absolved of their promises. This notwithstanding, he was answered that he was satisfied with reason, and that no other scrap would have any.

“Reason (dist Janotus), we do not use it here. Unhappy traitors, you are worth nothing; the earth does not support people meaner than you are, I know that well. Do not betray the boycotters: I exercised wickedness with you. By the ratte God! I will warn the King of the enormous abuses that are being forged here and by your hands and carried out, and that I will be a rascal if he does not cause you all to live to be burned as buggers, traitors, heretics and seducers, enemies of God and of virtues!

At these motz, articles were taken against him; him, on the other side, add them. Sum, the lawsuit was retained by the Court, and is still there. The magistrates, on this point, vowed not to be descroted; Maistre Janot, with his adherents, tried not to blow his nose until he was ordered to do so by final arrest. By these you have so far remained and crusty and snotty, because the Court has not yet picked up all the pieces well; the judgment will be given in the next Greek calends, that is to say never, as you know that they are doing more than nature and against their own articles. The articles of Paris sing that only God can do infinite things.Nature makes nothing immortal, for she puts an end and period to all things by her products: car omnia orta cadunt, etc. ; but these swallowers of winters make the trials before them pendens and infiniz and immortalz. What pheasants gave rise to and verified the dict of Chilon, Lacedaemonian, consecrated in Delphi, saying Misery is companion of Miserable Trials and people playdoiens, because sooner their life ends than their claimed right.


CHAPTER XXI

Gargantua's study,
according to the discipline of his sophisticated preceptors.



The first days thus passed and the bells returned to their place, the citizens of Paris, in gratitude for this honesty, offered to maintain and feed his mare as long as he pleased, - which Gargantua was very pleased with, - and sent him to live in the forest of Beer. I don't think she's there now. This fact, wanted with all his sense to study at the discretion of Ponocrates; but icelluy, for the beginning, ordered that he would do it in his usual way, in order to hear by what means, in so long a time, his ancient tutors had made him so fat, foolish and ignorant.

He therefore spent his time in such a way that ordinarily he woke up between eight and nine o'clock, whether it was day or not; thus had ordered it his ancient regens, alleging what says David: Vanum est vobis ante lucem surgere.

Then he frolicked, thought, and bawled among the bed for a while to better show off his animal hopes; and dressed according to the season, but he voluntarily wore a large and long dress of thick frieze stuffed with foxes; after combing his hair with Almain's comb, it was with four fingers and the thumb, for his tutors said that to comb, wash and clean was a waste of time in this world.

Then whimpered, pissed, throated, rotted, petted, kissed, spitted, coughed, sobbed, sneezed and died like an archdeacon, and ate fast to kill the rouzée and bad aer: nice fried tripe, nice charcoalades, nice hams, nice cabirotades and premium strengths soups.

Ponocrates reminds him that so suddenly he should not eat from the bed without having first done some exercise. Gargantua replied:

“What! haven't I done enough exercise? I rolled six or seven turns among the bed before I got up. Isn't this enough? Pope Alexander did so, by the advice of his Jewish physician, and lived to death in spite of the envious. My first masters accustomed me to it, saying that breakfast made a good memory; for so much the first drink there. I feel very well about it and only say better. And Maistre Tubal (who was first in his license in Paris) told me that it is not all the advantage to run well every day, but to leave early; also isn't it the total health of our humanity boyre heap, heap, heap, like ducks, but ouy well boyre morning; one versus:

Getting up in the morning is not a good hour;
Morning drink is best.

After having fasted well on time, went to church, and placed in a large pen a large breviary empantophled, weighing, both in stoneware and in quills and parchment, poy plus poy less, one hundred quintaul x six pounds. There were twenty-six or thirty masses. This pendant had its hour-teller in place, impaled like a dupe, and very well antidoted its alain by force of vignolat syrup; with which icelluy mumbled all these strings, and peeled them so curiously that not a single grain fell into the ground.

From the church, they brought to him on a horse-drawn carriage a faratz of patenostres of Saint Claude, each as large as the softness of a cap, and, walking through the cloisters, galleries or garden, said more than sixteen hermits.

Then studied for some wicked half hour, eyes sitting on his book; but (as the comic says) his soul was in the kitchen.

So pissing full of the urinal, sat down at the table, and, because he was naturally phlegmatic, began his meal with a few dozen hams, smoked beef tongues, boutargues, andouilles, and such other precursors of wine. .

This hanging four of his people drip into his mouth, one after another, continuously, mustard in full mouthfuls. Then drank a horrific draft of white wine to soothe his kidneys. Afterwards, he ate, according to the season, meats to his appetite, and then it was to eat when his stomach was drawing.

A boyre had no end or cannon, for he said that the metes and bournes of boyre were when, the person drinking, the cork of his slippers swelled half a foot high.


CHAPTER XXII

Gargantua games.



Then, all lordly nibbling on a transon of graces, washed his hands with cool wine, brushed his teeth with a pig's trotter, and chatted joyfully with his people. Then, the green extended, they deployed force of charters, force of weapons, and reinforcement of aprons. There played:

To the flux, to the condemnade, to the premium, to the virade charter, to the vole, to the maucontent, to the loot, to the lansquenet, to the triumph, to the cuckold, to the picardy, to who has so speaks , to the hundred, to pille, nade, jocque, fore, to espinay, to mariaige, to the unhappy, to gay, to fourby, to opinion, to passes ten, to who does one, to thirty and one, to the sequence , to even and sequence, to the uvula, to troys cens, to the tarau, to the unhappy, to coquinbert, who wins loses, to the beliné, to the pies, to the torment, to the horn, to the snore, to the beef violated, with the glic, with the cheveche, with the honors, with I pinch you without laughing, with the mourre, with tingling, with the eschetz, with deferrer the asne, with the fox, with the laiau tru, with the hopscotch, with the bourry, bourryzou, at the vasches,at I sat down, at the white one, at the beard of oribus, at luck, at the bousquine, at three dice, at the spit, at the tables, at the boutte foyre, at the nicnocque, at the compere, give me your bag, at the ladle, at the renette, at the belier ball, at the barignin, at boutte hors, at trictrac, at figs of Marseille, at all tables, at the mousque, at the tables folded down, at the archer tru , at the reniguebieu, to flay the fox, at the forced, at the pick-up, at the ladies, at the croc madame, at the babou, to sell l oats, at primus secundus, at blowing the coal, at the foot of the cousteau, at the responsailles, at the clefz, at the judge alive and the judge dead, at the franc du carreau, at firing the irons from the oven, even or not, at the fault villain, to cross or pille, to cilleteaux, to martens, to hunchback aulican, to stingy,to Saint oublie, to ball, to pinse morille, to savatier, to pear tree, to hybou, to pimpompet, to dorelot du lievre, to triori, to the piggy bank, to the circle, to piglet goes in front, to the piglet , to belly to belly, to Saint Cosme, I come to adore you, to the combes, to the vergette, to escharbot the brown, to the puck, to I take you without green, to I am , to good and beautiful goes Quaresme , to Foucquet, to skittles, to chesne forchu, to rapeau, to melted horse, to flat ball, to tail to wolf, to vireton, to fart in mouth, to picqu' in Rome, in Guillemin ballie my ma lance, in rouchemerde , in brandelle, in Angenart, in treseau, in court boulle, in birch, in griesche, in mousche, in recoquillette, in migne, migne beuf, at cassepot, at propous, at my talent, at nine hands, at pyrouete, at chapifou, at strewn, at pontz cheuz,at court baston, at Colin bridé, at pyrevollet, at grolle, at clinemuzete, at cocquantin, at picquet, Colin Maillard, blancque, myrelimofle, furon, with mouschart, with the seguette, with the crapault, with the chastelet, with the crosse , with the rengée, with the piston, with the foussette, with the ball boucquet, with the ronflart, with the roynes, with the trunk, with the mestiers, with the moyne, with teste to teste bechevel, to tenebry, to pinot, to esbahy, to male mort, to soulle, to croquinolles, to shuttle, to wash Madame's headdress, to fessart, to belusteau, to ballay, to sow avoyne, at briffault, at the cutte cache, at the molinet, at the mesh, purse in the ass, at defendo, at the nest of the buzzard, at the virevouste, at the passavant, at the bacule, at the fig, at the ploughman, at the petarrades, with the cheveche,with the mustard pillage, with the stiffened escoublettes, with the cambos, with the dead beste, with the recheute, with mounts, mounts the eschelette, with the picandeau, with the mory pig, with croqueteste, with salted bottom, with the grolle, pigonnet, crane, third, cut cut, bourrée, nazardes, sault du buisson, larks, croyzet, chinquenaudes.

After having played well, sassed, spent and beautiful time, it was appropriate to drink a little, - it was unze peguadz for men, - and, suddenly after banqueting, it was on a beautiful bench or in a beautiful full bed to stretch out and sleep. two or three hours, without thinking badly or saying badly.

Awakened him, shook his ears a little. This pendant was brought chilled wine; there beuvoyt better than ever.

Ponocrates reminded him that it was bad diet, so boyre after sleeping.

“It is (respondist Gargantua) the real life of the Fathers, because by my nature I sleep in the room, and sleeping has earned me so much ham. »

Then began to study a little, and patenostres forward, for which the better form to expedite rode on an old mule, which had served nine Kings. Thus, mumbling with his mouth and nodding with his head, he was going to see some connivance from the girls.

On the way back went to the kitchen to find out what roust was on the spit.

And sighed very well, by my conscience! and willingly invited some drinkers from his neighbours, with whom, drinking as much, included old people as well as new ones. Among other servants, he had the lords of Fou, Gourville, Grignault and Marigny.

After supper came the beautiful Gospels of boys, that is to say many aprons, or the beautiful flow. Un, deux, troys, ou A tout restes to shorten, or else went to see the lads around, and petitz banquequetz parmy, snacks and back snacks. Then slept without unbridling until eight o'clock the next day.


CHAPTER XXIII

How Gargantua was instituted by Ponocrates
in such discipline that he lost no time in the day.



When Ponocrates understood the vicious way of life of Gargantua, deliberated otherwise to institute it in letters, but for the first days tolerated it, considering that Nature does not endure sudden changes without great violence.

So that his work might begin better, begged a learned physician of that time, named Maistre Theodore, that he considered, if possible, to put Gargantua back on a better path, who canonically purged him with elaboration of Anticyra and by this medicine cleansed his entire life. alteration and perverse habit of the brain. By this means also Ponocrates caused him to forget all he had learned under his ancient tutors, as Timothy did to his disciples who had been instructed under other musicians.

To do this better, he introduced him to the company of learned people there, in whose emulation he created the spirit and the desire to study differently and to show off.

After in such a course of study the mist that he did not waste any hour of the day, so all his time was consumed in letters and honeste knowing.

So Gargantua woke up about four o'clock in the morning. While he was being rubbed, some page of the divine Scripture was read to him loudly and clerically, with pronunciation competent in the matter, and to this was committed a young paige, a native of Basché, named Anagnostes. According to the purpose and argument of this lesson, oftentimes our children devote themselves to revere, adore, pray and supplicate the good God, whose reading shows the majesty and marvelous judgments.

Then went to the secret places made excretion of the natural digestions. There his tutor repeated what had been read, explaining to him the most obscure and difficult points.

They returned, considering the state of the sky: if such was as had been noted the previous evening, and what signs entered the sun, also the moon, for this day.

This act was dressed, combed, tested, dressed and perfumed, during which time the lessons of the day before were repeated to him. He himself said them from his heart, and based on them some practical cases concerning the human state, which they never heard until two or three o'clock, but usually ceased when he was at all dressed.

Then at a good three o'clock he was read to him.

This done, they were outside, always conferring suggestions for reading, and disporting themselves in Bracque or es prez, and playing at ball, at paulme, at the trigonal pile, slowly exercising the bodies as they had the souls previously exercised. .

All their play was only in freedom, for they left the game when they pleased and usually ceased when they were sweating through the body, or otherwise tired. So they wiped and scrubbed very well, changed their shirts and, slowly walking around, went to see if dinner was ready. Wait there, reciting clerically and eloquently some sentences retained from the lesson.

During this time, Monsieur l'appetit came, and by a good chance, sat down at the table.

At the beginning of the meal was read some pleasant story of ancient prowess, until he had taken his wine.

Then (if it seemed good) we continued reading, or began to divide joyfully together, talking, for the first few months, of the virtues, properties, efficacy and nature of all that was served to them at table: bread, wine, water , salt, meats, fish, fruits, herbs, roots, and icelles after. So doing, aprint in a short time all the passages to this competens in Pliny, Athenaeum, Dioscorides, Jullius Pollux, Galen, Porphyry, Opian, Polybius, Heliodorus, Aristoteles, Aelian and others. As things were said, they often did, to be more certain, bring the aforesaid books to the table. And so well and entirely retained in his memory the things dictated, that for that time there was no physician who knew half as much of them as he did.

Afterwards, they studied lessons taken in the morning, and, finishing their meal with some confection of cotoniat, ran their teeth with a hole of lentisce, washed their hands and eyes with beautiful fresh water, and gave thanks to God with a few beautiful hymns made in praise of divine munificence and benignity. This fact, they brought charts, not to play, but to learn a thousand little niceties and new inventions, all of which were arithmetic.

In this way he fell in love with this numeral science, and every day, after dinner and supper, spent time there as pleasantly as he liked in dez or charters. To such an extent, learned from it both theoretically and practically, so well that Tunstal, Angloys, who had written amply of it, confessed that really, in comparison with him, he only understood in it the high German.

And not only from here, but from other mathematical sciences, such as geometry, astronomy and music; for, wait for the concoction and digestion of his past, they made a thousand merry instruments and geometrical figures, and likewise practiced the astronomical canons.

Afterwards, they were delighted to sing musically in four and five parts, or on a theme to please the throat.

In addition to musical instruments, he has played the luc, the espinette, the harp, the Alemant flute and at nine holes, the viol and the sackbut.

This hour thus employed, the digestion completed, purged itself of natural excrement, then returned to its main study for three hours or more, both in repeating the morning reading and in continuing the book undertaken, as well as in writing and the ancient and Roman letters.

This done, they were outside their hostel, with them a young gentleman from Touraine, named the squire Gymnast, who taught him the art of chivalry.

So changing only jackets, I rode on a steed, on a roussin, on a genet, on a barbed horse, light horse, and gave him a hundred quarters, made him hover in the air, cross the ditch, jump the palys, run around in a circle, both dexter and sinister.

There the lance was not broken, for it is the greatest resverye in the world to say: "I have broken ten lances in tournament or in battle" - a carpenter would do it well - but laudable glory is of a lance having broken ten of his enemies. With his sharp lance, green and stiff, he broke a tree, sank a harness, cornered a tree, encased a ring, carried off a saddle of arms, an aubert, a gauntlet. Everything was armed from head to foot.

At the look of fanfaring and making small popisms on a horse, no one does it better than him. The Ferrara acrobat was but a monkey in comparison. Singularly, was learned to jump hastily from one horse to another without landing, - and these horses were called desultoyres, - and each one costing, spear in hand, mounting without stirrups, and without bridle guiding the horse to its pleasure, because such things serve military discipline.

Another day he practiced the axe, which so well flowed, so green of all peaks flowed, so supplely swallowed in round cuts, that he was made a knight-at-arms in campaign and in all trials.

Then he waved the pike, sacking with the two-handed sword, the bastard sword, the Spanish sword, the dagger and the dagger, armed, unarmed, with the buckler, with the cappe, with the puck.

Ran the stag, the roe deer, the bear, the deer, the wild boar, the hare, the partridge, the pheasant, the otarde. Played with the big ball and made it jump in the air, as much with the foot as with the fist. Luctoit, ran, jumped, not at three steps a jump, not on one hop, not at the Alemant jump, - because (said Gymnast) telz saulx are useless and of no good in war - but from a jump persoit a foussé , flew over a hedge, climbed six paces against a wall, and crawled in this way to a window the height of a spear.

Was swimming in deep water, upside down, upside down, with his whole body, his feet alone, one hand in the air, in which, holding a book, he crossed the entire Seine river without getting wet, and tyrannizes over his cloak by the teeth, as Jules Cesar did. Then with one hand entered by great force into the basteau; d'icelluy rose from above into the water, head first, probed the depths, dug the rocks, plunged into abysses and chasms. Then icelluy basteau swirled, steered, led hastily, slowly, with the flow of water, against the course, held him back in the middle of the lock, with one hand guided him, with the other struggled with a large oar, stretched the vele , climbed to the matz by the traictz, pounded on the shafts, adjusted the compass, braced the bulines, bent the rudder.

Issuing from the water, rose steeply against the mountain and descended just as frankly; carved the trees like a cat, jumped from one to another like a squire, knocked down the big branches like another Milo. With two strong daggers and two awls, he climbed to the top of a house like a rat, then descended from top to bottom in such a composition of limbs that the fall was in no way burdened.

Threw the dart, the bar, the stone, the javelin, the spear, the halberd, thrust the bow, stretched the strong crossbows of pass around his loins, aimed the arquebouse at the eye, sharpened the cannon, shot at the mound, in Papeguay, from the bottom to the mountain, from upstream to the valley, in front, from the coast, behind like the Parthians.

A cable was attached to it in some high tower, hanging in the ground; by him, with only two hands, he ascended, then descended so stiffly and confidently as more could in a well-leveled field.

A large pole was placed for him, leaning against two trees; from here he hung by his hands, and from there came and went without feet touching anything, so that with a long run one would hardly have imagined him.

And, to exercise the thorax and lungs, cried like all the devils. I heard him once calling Eudemon, from the Porte Saint Victor to Montmartre; Stentor never had such a voice at the battle of Troy.

And, to temper his nerves, they had made him two large lead salmons, each of the weight of eight thousand seven hundred quintaulx, which he called altered; they took the earth in each hand and raised them in the air above the head, and held them thus, without moving themselves, for three quarters of an hour and more, which was an inimitable force.

Played at the poles with the strongest, and, when the point came, stood on his feet so rigidly that he abandoned himself to the most adventurous in case they moved him from his place, as Milo once did, at the imitation of which also held a pomegranate in his hand and gave it to whoever could listen to him.

The time thus employed, rubbed, cleaned and refreshed with clothes, all gently returned, and, passing through some meadows or other grassy places, visited the trees and plants, conferred them with the books of the ancients who wrote them, like Theophrastus. , Dioscorides, Marinus, Pliny, Nicander, Macer and Galen, and took their full hands to the house, of which a young page, named Rhizotome, was in charge, all the marrochons, pickaxes, stags, spades, slices and other instruments required to arborize well.

They arrive at the house, while they are after supper, repeat a few passages of what they had been, and sit down at table.

Note here that his dinner was sober and frugal, for so many only ate to curb the stomach haboys; but the supper was plentiful and large, for he took as much as he needed to maintain and feed himself, which is the true diet prescribed by the art of good and safe medicine, although a heap of badaulx doctors, harrow in the pharmacy of the sophists, advise the contrary.

During this meal, the dinner lesson was continued as long as it seemed good; the rest was consumed in good words, all lettered and useful.

After graces were returned, they gave themselves up to singing musically, to playing harmonious instruments, or to those little pastimes which one makes of charters, es dez and guobeletz, and there they died, doing great dear and admiring themselves without any faith until the end of the day. time to sleep; sometimes they went to visit the companies of lettered people, or of people who had seen foreign countries.

In the middle of the night, before retiring there, they went to the place of their most open dwelling to see the face of the sky, and there noted the comets, there were none, the figures, situations, aspects, oppositions and conjunctions of the stars.

Then, with his tutor, he recapitulated briefly, in the manner of the Pythagoreans, all that he had read, seen, seen, done and heard during the whole day.

If prayed to God the creator, adoring him and ratifying their faith in him, and glorifying him with his immense goodness, and, giving him thanks for all the time spent, commended themselves to his divine clemency for all to come.

This fact, entered into their repulsion.


CHAPTER XXIV

How Gargantua employed the weather when the air was rainy



If it happened that the air was rainy and intemperate, all the time before dinner was employed as usual, except that he caused a fine, bright fire to be lit to correct the intemperance of the air. But after dinner, instead of the exercises, they remained in the house and, by way of apotherapy, amused themselves with baling hay, splitting and sawing boys, and beating the sheaves in the barn; puys studied in the art of painting and sculpture, where they revived in use the ancient game of tales as Leonicus wrote and as our good friend Lascaris plays. While playing it, the passages of ancient authors are recognised, and some metaphor is mentioned or taken over the game.

Similarly, where were going to see how the metals were drawn, or how the artillery was cast, where were going to see the lapidaries, goldsmiths and jewelers, or the alchymists and monoyers, or the haultelissiers, the weavers, the bikers, the watchmakers , miralliers, printers, organists, dyers and other such kinds of workmen, and, everywhere giving wine, apprehended and considered the industry and invention of trades.

Went to hear the public lessons, the solemn acts, the repetitions, the declamations, the playdoyez of the gentilz advocatz, the concions of the evangelical preachers.

Passed through the halls and places ordained for fencing, and there against the masters tried all kinds of fights, and their monsters by evidence that as much, or even more, knew of it than they did.

And, instead of arborizing, they visited the shops of the druggists, herbariums and apothecaries, and carefully considered the fruits, roots, leaves, gums, seeds, peregrine axungs, together also how they would be adulterated.

Went to see the basteleurs, trejectaires and theriacleurs, and considered their gestures, their tricks, their sobressaulx and fine speech, particularly those of Chaunys in Picardy, because they are by nature great chatterboxes and handsome donors of balivernes in matters of green stings.

They returned to supper, ate more sparingly than on other days and more desiccating and exhausting meats, so that the humid bad weather of the air, communicated to the body by necessary confinement, would be corrected by this means, and would not be inconvenient to them by not being exercised as was customary.

Thus was ruled Gargantua, and continued this trial from day to day, profiting as hear a young man, according to his age, of good sense in such exercise thus continued, which, however much it seemed for the difficult beginning, in the continuance so sweet was it, light and delectable, that it more resembled the pastime of a king than the study of a schoolboy.

However, Ponocrates, to sojourn him with this vehement intention of hopes, once foresaw the month some very clear and serene day, in which they moved in the morning from the city, and went either to Gently, or to Bologna, or to Montrouge, or to the bridge. Charanton, or in Vanves, or in Sainct Clou. And there they spent the whole day making the greatest feast they could advise themselves on, joking, gaudissans, drinking d'aultant, playing, singing, dancing, seeing themselves in some beautiful meadow, nipping sparrows, catching quails, fishing with frogs and crayfish .

But, even though this day had passed without books and reading, it did not pass without profit, for in a beautiful meadow they heartily picked up some pleasant verses from the Agriculture of Virgil, of Hesiod, of the Rusticque of Politian, described some pleasant epigrams in Latin, then put them in roundels and ballads in the French language.

In banqueting, sharp wine separated the water, as Cato teaches, De re rust, and Pliny, with a goblet of lyre; washed the wine in a plain basin of water, then withdraw it with a dredge, made the water go from one glass to another; build several small automatons, that is to say, they move themselves


CHAPTERXXV

How was moved between the fouaciers of Lerné and those of the country of Gargantua the great debate of which were made great wars.



At this time, which was the harvest season, at the beginning of autumn, the shepherds of the region were guarding the vines and preventing the starlings from eating the grapes.

At which time the fouaces of Lerné passed the great quarry, leading ten or twelve charges of fouaces to the town.

The said shepherds courteously require them to give them their money's worth, at the price of the market. Because note that it is heavenly meat to eat at breakfast, grapes with fresh fouace, even pineaulx, proud, muscadeaulx, bicane, and foyrars for those who are constipated of stomach, because they make them go as long as a log, and often, cuidans peter, they conchient, of which are named the cuideurs of the harvest.

At their request, the fouaciers were not inclined at all, but (what is worse) greatly insulted them, the callers too diteulx, breschedens, pleasant rousseaulx, galliers, chienlictz, averlans, limes sourdes, faictneans, friandeaulx, bustarins, talvassiers, riennevaulx , rustics , challans, hapelopins, trainneguainnes, gentilz flocquetz, copious, landores, malotruz, dendins, baugears, tezez, gaubregeux, gogueluz, clapped in, boyers of etrons, shepherds of shit, and other telz defamatory epithets, adjoustans that poinct to them n' It was up to them to eat these fine cakes, but they had to content themselves with big balled bread and pie.

To which one of them, named Frogier, a very honest man of his person and a notable bachelor, replied gently:

"Since when did you take horns that you've become so rogues?" Dea, you willingly relieved us of it, and now refuse. They are not good neighbours, and so do we, when you come here to buy our fine fruit, from which you make your cakes and cakes. Still by the market you would have given us our grapes; but, by the sea Dé! you might repent of it and will some day have to do with us. Then we will do the same to you, and remember it! »

Adoncq Marquet, great bastonnier of the brotherhood of fouaciers, said to him:

“Truly, you're very busy this morning; you ate too much millet this evening. Come here, come here, I will give you my passion! »

Then Forgier quite simply approached, pulling his shoulder strap a little, thinking that Marquet ought to strip him of his fouaces; but he yawned with his whip through his legs so roughly that the knots appeared there. Then wanted to win on the run; but Forgier cried out for murder and force as much as he could, together got him a big tribard which he carried under his saddle, and reached it by the coronal junction of the head, above the crotaphic artery, of the costal dexter, so that Marquet fell from his mare; better seemed a dead man than alive.

However, the mestaiers, who there near were chasing the walnuts, came running up with their great saplings and struck at these ferns as at green rye. The other shepherds and shepherdesses, ouyans, the cry of Forgier, came there with their founders and brassiers, and followed them with great blows of stones so small that it seemed that this fire was hail. Eventually they got together and ousterted with their cakes about four or five twelveines; however, they paid them at the customary price and gave them a quota of quecas and three breadcrumbs of sapwood. Then the fouaciers helped to mount Marquet, who was badly wounded, and returned to Lerné without pursuing the road to Pareillé, threatening strongly and firmly the cowherds, shepherds and mestaiers of Seuillé and Synays.

This fact, and shepherds and shepherdesses made dear lye with these fouaces and beautiful grapes, and laughed together to the sound of the beautiful bouzine, making fun of these beautiful glorious fouaces, who had found evil against for fault of being sworn off from the good hand in the morning, and with big chenin grapes, they steamed Forgier's legs nicely, so that he felt like a bit of a guery.


CHAPTER XXI

How the inhabitants of Lerné, by the command of Picrochole, their king, assailed the shepherds of Gargantua.



The fouaciers returned to Lerné, suddenly, before eating there, transported themselves to the Capitol, and there, before their king named Picrochole, third of this name, proposed their complaint, showing their broken baskets, their foupiz caps, their desired dresses, their fouaces destroyed, and particularly Marquet injured enormously, saying it was all done by the shepherds and mestaiers of Grandgousier, near the great carroy beyond Seuillé.

Which immediately entered into furious wrath, and without further wondering what not how, caused his country to cry ban and back ban, and that each one, on pain of death, agreed in arms in the main square in front of the Chateau, to noon hour.

To better confirm his enterprise, he feels the tabourin to ring around the town. Himself, while we were after his dinner, went to have his artillery sharpened, unfurl his ensign and oriflant, and load a great deal of ammunition, both harnoys d'armes and gules.

While dining, he gave the commissions, and was by his edict constituted the lord Trepelu on the vanguard, in which were counted sixteen thousand and fourteen hackbutiers, thirty-five thousand and one adventurers.

In the artillery was assigned the Grand Escuyer Toucquedillon, in which were counted nine hundred and fourteen large pieces of bronze, in cannons, double cannons, baselicz, serpentines, culverins, bombards, falcons, passevolans, spiroles and other pieces. The rear guard was yawned to Duke Racquedenare; in battle stood the king and the princes of his kingdom.

Thus summarily acoustre, before setting out, sent three hundred light horses, under the conduct of Captain Engoulevent, to discover the country and find out if there was any ambush in the country; but, after diligently searching, found all the country round about in peace and silence, without any assembly whatsoever.

Hearing what, Picrochole ordered that each marchast under his sign hastily.

So without order and moderation they took the fields one among the other, gastans and scattering everything through which they passed, sparing neither poor, nor rich, nor sacred place, nor profane; took away oxen, cows, thoreaux, calves, heifers, ewes, sheep, goats and goats, hens, chappons, poulletz, oysons, jards, geese, pigs, sows, guoretz; chopping down the nuts, harvesting the vines, carrying away the sap, crumbling all the fruit from the trees. It was incomparably disorderly what they were doing, and found no one to resist them;but each one placed himself at their mercy, begging them to be treated more humanely, in consideration of the fact that they had always been good and amicable neighbors, and that never towards them did they commit excesses or insults so as to thus suddenly be harmed by them. vex, and that God would punish them for it. To what remonstrations there was no answer, except that they wanted to teach them how to eat focaccia.


CHAPTERXXVII

How a monk from Seuillé saved the cloz
of the abbey of the bag of enemies.



So much did and bothered, looted and robbed, that they arrived at Seuillé, and robbed men and women, and took what they feared: nothing was too hard or too heavy for them. As much as the plague was there in most of the houses, they entered everywhere, robbed all that was inside, and no one ever saw any danger from it, which is a rather marvelous case: for the parish priests, vicars, preachers, doctors , surgeons and apothecaries who went to visit, think, heal, preach and admonish the sick, were all dead of infection, and these plundering and murdering devils never took it badly. Where does this come from, gentlemen? Think about it, please.

The village thus plundered, transported themselves to the abbey with some horrible tumult, but found it well packed and closed, whose main army marched further towards the ford of Vede, except seven ensigns of foot soldiers and two hundred lances which remained there. and broke the walls of the cloz in order to guaster all the harvest.

The poor devils of monks did not know which of their saints to devote themselves to. All adventures rank ad capitulum capitulants. There it was decreed that they would make a fine procession, reinforced by beaulx preschans, et letanies contra hostium insidias, et beaulx responds pro pace.

In the abbey was at that time a cloistered monk, named Frere Jean des Entommeures, young, guallant, frisky, de hayt, well on the dexter, hardy, adventurous, deliberate, tall, lean, well split in the mouth, well advanced in the nose, handsome weaver of hours, handsome desbrider of masses, handsome descrotor of vigils, to be honest summarily very mediocre if ever since the world moyant moynerie; for the rest, a cleric to his teeth in matters of the breviary.

Icelluy, hearing the noise made by the enemies by the end of their wine, went outside to see what they were doing, and, advising that they were harvesting their end, on which was their boyte of the whole year founded, returned to the heart of the church, where the other monks were, all amazed as bell-founders, seeing them sing Ini nim, pe, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, tum, ne, num, num, ini, i, mi , i, mi, co, o, ne, no, o, o, ne, no, ne, no, no, no, rum, ne, num, num: "It's, dist he, well sang dog!" Virtues God, why don't you sing:

Farewell, sneakers, harvest done?

“I give myself to the devil if they aren't in our house and so cut and seps and grapes that there won't be, by the body of God! of four years than halboting in it. Holy belly Jacques! What are we bullying for this, we other poor devils? Lord God, da mihi potum! »

When the cloistered prior said:

"What will that hyvrogne do here?" Take him to jail. To disturb the divine service in this way!

- But (says the moyne) the service of the wine, let's do so that it is not disturbed; for you yourself, Mr Prior, like to drink the best. Sy makes every good man; a noble man never hates good wine: it is a monastic apophthegm. But these respond that you sing are not, by God! seasonal point.

“Why are our hours of harvest and grape harvest short; in advent and any long winter? Fire of good memory Brother Macé Pelosse, true zealator (or I give myself to the devil) of our religion, told me, as I remember, that the reason was so that in this season we make the wine well, and that in winter we smell it.

“Listen, Gentlemen, you fellows who love wine: the body God, follow me! Because, boldly, that Saint Antoine arde me sy those taste the pyot which will not have helped the vine! Belly God, the goods of the Church! Ha, no, no! Devil! Saint Thomas l'Angloys was very willing to die there: if I died there, wouldn't I be one of the same saints? I won't die there yet, because it's me who is the hearth of others. »

So saying, he took down his great habit and seized the stick of the cross, which was of the heart of a service tree, long as a spear, round on the fist, and somewhat strewn with fleur-de-lis, all almost obliterated . Thus went out in fine fashion, misting his frock in a sling and from his baston of the cross suddenly fell upon the enemies, who, without orders, did not teach, did not trumpet, did not tabourin, among the cloz were harvesting, for the porters and porters ensigns had placed their handlebars and ensigns on the edge of the walls, the tabourineurs had smashed their tabourins with a cost to fill them with grapes, the trumpets had dyre guare, that he knocked them down like pigs, striking back and forth, with old fencing.

Some scorched the brains, others broke arms and legs, others dislodged the spondyles from the neck, still others dislodged the loins, swallowed the nose, dug the eyes, split the mandibles, sunk the teeth into the mouth, unscrambled the shoulder blades, sphaceloyt the greves, unhinged the ischies, debezilloit the sickles.

If someone wanted to hide between the denser sepes, to icelluy would snatch the whole edge of the douz and drag him like a dog.

If anyone wanted to save himself by fleeing, he would cause his head to fly in pieces through the lambdoid commissure.

If someone climbed a tree, thinking he was safe there, he struck the foundation with his stick.

If someone of his old acquaintance shouted to him: Ha, Brother Jean, my friend, Brother Jean, I surrender!

- You are (he said) very strong; but together you will give up the soul to all the devils. »

And suddenly gave him drones. And if no one was so reckless that he wished to resist him face to face, there he demonstrated the strength of his muscles, for he pierced their chest through the mediastinum and through the heart. To others, giving the fault of costs, their stomachs subverted, and died suddenly. Others were so proudly hit by the navel that he made their guts stick out. Others among the idiots persoy the boiau cullier. Believe it's the most horrible sight we've ever seen

Some cried: Holy Barbe!
the others: Saint George!
the others: Saint Nytouche!
the others: Our Lady of Cunault! by Lauretta!
some good news! of the Lenou! of River!
the ungs are dedicated to Saint Jacques;
the others to the holy shroud of Chambery, but it
brusla three months later, so much so that not a single strand of it can be saved;
the others at Cadouyn;
the others to Saint Jean d'Angery;
the others to Saint Eutrope of Xainctes, to Saint Mesmes of Chinon,
to Saint Martin de Candes, to Saint Clouaud de Sinays, the relics of
Javrezay and a thousand other good little saints.
The ungs died without speaking, the others spoke without dying. ungs
died while speaking, the others spoke while dying.
The others cried aloud: “Confession! Confession! Confiteor!
Misery! In manus! »

So loud was the cries of the heartbroken that the prior of the abbey with all his monks came out, who, when they saw these poor people thus rush through the vineyard and wounded to death, confessed some ungs. But, while the priests were amusing themselves with confession, the little monks ran to the place where Brother Jean was and asked him why he wanted them to help him. To which was replied that they would slay those who were carried to the ground. So, leaving their great cloaks on a trellis as close as possible, began to slaughter and finish off those he had already bruised. Do you know which fittings? At beaulx gouvetz, who are little half knives whose little children of our country ring the nuts.

Then with all his baston of the cross guaingna the breach that the enemies had made. Aulcuns of the monks took the signs and guydons to their rooms to make them jarters. But, when those who had confessed wanted to go out through this breach, the monk stunned them with blows, saying:

“Those are confessed and repentant, and have won pardons; they are going to paradise, as straight as a sickle and as is the road to Faye. »

Thus, by his prowess, were confided all those of the army who were in the nails, up to the number of thirteen thousand six hundred and twenty-two, without the women and small children, that is always understood

Never Maugis, hermit, went so valiantly with all his bells against the Saracens, of which is written the gestures of the four Haymon sons, as the monk feist against the enemies with the baston of the cross.


CHAPTERXXVIII

How Picrochole stormed Roche Clermauld, and the regret and difficulty that Grandgousier felt in undertaking war.



While the monk was skirmishing as we said against those who had entered the nail, Picrochole with great haste crossed the ford of Vede with his people, and assailed La Roche Clermauld, where there was no resistance whatsoever made to him, and, by this that it was already night, deliberated in this town to lodge himself and his people, and to refresh himself from his pungitive anger.

In the morning, stormed the boulevards and chateau, and rebuilt it very well, and proved it of required ammunition, thinking there to make its retreat if it was otherwise attacked, because the place was strong and by art and by nature because of of the situation and basis.

Now, let's leave them there and return to our good Gargantua, who is in Paris, quite presently studying good literature and athletic exercises, and the good old man Grandgousier, his father, who after supper is teasing his balls at a handsome, bright and big fire, and, waiting to grease the chastains, writes in the hearth with a stick burned at one end of which the fire is hacked, telling his wife and family beautiful tales of times long past.

One of the shepherds who guarded the vines, named Pillot, came to him at this hour and recounted in full the excesses and pillages that Picrochole, king of Lerné, did in his lands and domains, and how he had plundered, wasted, ransacked all the country, except for the nails of Seuillé, which Brother Jean des Entomneures had saved in his honor, and now the dict roy was in La Roche Clermaud, and there in great authority he and his people were remanded.

“Hello! whoops! dist Grandgousier, what is this, good people? Thought I, or if true is what I'm being told? Picrochole, my old friend of all times, of all races and alliances, does he come to assail me? Who moves it? Who points it? Who drives it? Who advised him thus? Oh! hey! hey! hey! hey! my God my Savior, help me, inspire me, advise me what to do! I protest, I wear before you, so you are favorable to me! - sy never to displeasure him, do not harm his people, do not plunder his lands; but, on the contrary, I helped him with people, money, favors and advice, in any case that I knew little of his incident.That I was therefore injured at this point can only be due to the evil spirit. Good God, you know my courage, for to you nothing can be concealed; if in any case he became furious and that, to rehabilitate his brain, you had sent him to me here, give me the power and know how to return him to the yoke of your holy will out of good discipline.

"Ho! hey! hey! my good people, my friends and my dear servants, will it be necessary for me to prevent you from helping me? The ace! my old age henceforth required nothing but repudiation, and all my life brought nothing so much as peace; but I must now, I see clearly, load my poor weary and weak shoulders with strength, and with my trembling hand I reach for the spear and the mace to succor and guarantee my poor subjects. Reason wills it so, for by their labor I am sustained and by their sweat I am nourished, myself, my children and my family.

“This notwithstanding, I will not undertake war until I have tried all the arts and means of peace; there I resolve myself. »

So he had his council summoned and proposed the matter as it was, and it was concluded that some prudent man should be sent to Picrochole to know why he had thus suddenly been party to his repulsion and invaded the lands to which no one had any right , more than that. We sent to fetch Gargantua and his people, in order to maintain the country and defend it against this need. It all rained in Grandgousier, and ordered that this was done

Whose hour he sent the Basque, his lackey, to fetch Gargantua with all diligence, and wrote to him as follows.


CHAPTER XXIX

The tenor of the letters that Grandgousier wrote to Gargantua.



“The fervor of your studies requires that you should not revoke this rejected philosophical task for a long time, if the confidence of our friends and former Confederates had not now frustrated the security of my old age. But, since such is this fatal destiny that you should be worried the more I repulse myself, I must remind you of the people and goods which are by natural right to you.

“For as feeble are the weapons without if the council is not in the house, so vain is the study and the useless council which in due time by virtues is not executed and to its effect reduced.

“My deliberation is not to provoke, not to appease; to attack, but to defend; to conquer, but to guard my subjectz and hereditary lands, which entered Picrochole hostilously without cause or occasion, and from day to day pursues its furious enterprise with excesses not tolerable to free persons.

“I took it upon myself to moderate his tyrannical anger, offered him everything I thought could make him happy, and on several occasions sent him amicably to hear why, by whom and how he felt offended; but for him I was only responsible for voluntary defiance and for whom in my lands he only claimed the right of property. Of which I have known that Eternal God has left him at the helm of his free will and own sense, which cannot be that wicked sy by divine grace is continually guided, and, to contain him in office and bring him to knowledge, has sent it to me here in a hurry.

"However, my beloved son, as soon as you can, these letters seen, return diligently to help, not so much me (which, however, out of pity you naturally owe) as yours, which for good reason you can save and keep The feat will be done with as little bloodshed as possible, and, if possible, by more expeditious engines, knives and ruses of war, we will save all souls and send them joyfully to their homes .

“Very shit son, the peace of Christ, our redeemer, be with you.

“Greet Ponocrates, Gymnast and Eudemon from me.

“From the twentieth of September.

“Your father, GRANDGOUSIER. »


CHAPTER XXX

How Ulrich Gallet was sent to Picrochole.



The letters dictated and signed, Grandgousier ordered that Ulrich Gallet, master of his requests, a wise and discreet man, whose virtues and good advice in various and contentious affairs he had experienced, go to Picrochole to show him what they had decreed. .

At that hour the good man Gallet set out, and, having passed the ford, asked the miller of the state of Picrochole, who answered him that his people had left him neither cock nor geline, and that they had locked themselves in La Roche Clermauld , and that he did not advise him to proceed further, for fear of the watch, for their fury was enormous. Which he easily believed, and for that night lodged with the miller.

The next morning he transported himself with the trumpet to the door of the castle, and requested the guards to make him speak to the king for his benefit.

Having announced the words to the king, he did not at all consent to the door being opened to him, but went to the bolevard, and said to the ambassador: "What's the matter with him again?" What do you mean? »

So the ambassador proposed as follows:


CHAPTER XXXI

The harangue made by Gallet at Picrochole.



“A more just cause of pain can arise between humans only if, from the place from which by righteousness hoped for grace and benevolence, they receive bored and damaged. And not without cause (however without reason) many, who have come into such an accident, have this indignity considered less tolerable than their own life, and, in the event that by force no other engine has not corrected it, they have deprived themselves of this light.

"So marvelous is not if King Grandgousier, my master is at your furious and hostile coming, seized with great displeasure and disturbed in his understanding. It would be marvelous if it had not been evoked the incomparable excesses which in his lands and subjects have been committed by you and your people, in which no example of inhumanity has been observed, which is so grievous to him, by the cordial affection with which his subjects have always been cherished, than a mortal man more estre would not know. However, in human estimation, he is more grieved as by you and yours have been those grieved and twisted facts which from all memory and antiquity had, you and your fathers, a friendship with him and all his ancestors conceived, which until now as sacred together have inviolably maintained, guarded and maintained,

“More is there. This sacred friendship so much has emply this sky that few people are now inhabitants of the whole continent and islands of the ocean, who have not ambitiously aspired to be received here in pacts by you yourselves condition, as much esteem your confederation as their own lands and estates; so that in all memory there has been neither a prince nor a league so excited or superb who has run over, I do not say your lands, but those of your confederates; and if, by hasty advice, some case of novelty has been attempted against them, the name and title of your alliance heard, have suddenly withdrawn from their undertakings.

“So what fury moves you now, every alliance broken, every friendship conquered, every right violated, to invade his lands hostilely, without having been damaged, irritated or provoked by him or his people? Where is faith? Where is loy? Where is reason? Where is humanity? Where is fear of God? Cuyde you these ultraiges estre concealed esperitz eternelz and with the sovereign God who is just retributor of our enterprises? If the cuyde, you are wrong because all things will come to his judgment. Are these fatal destinies or influences of the stars that want to put an end to your ayzes and repou?Thus all things have their end and period, and when they have come to their suppellant point, they are ruined below, for they cannot long remain in such a state.

“But, if thus was phae and before your hour and rest come to an end, must it have been inconvenient to my king, the one by whom you were estably? If your house was to be ruined, was it almost that in its ruin it fell on the remains of the one who had adorned it? The thing is so beyond reason, so abhorrent to common sense, that it can scarcely be conceived by human understanding, and until then will remain unbelievable among strangers whom the assured and tested effect gives them to understand that nothing is neither nor holy sacred to those who have emancipated themselves from God and Reason to follow their perverse affections.

"If any wrong had been done by us in your subjects and domains, if by us had been favored to your evil wishes, if in your business had not succored you, if by us your name and honor had been injured, or, for better say, if the slanderous spirit, trying to get you the wrong way, had by fallacies species and ludicatory phantasms put into your understanding that towards you we had done things not worthy of our former friendship, you should first inquire into the truth, then we will. admonish, and we would have been so pleased with you that we would have had occasion to satisfy you. But (O Eternal God!) what is your business? Would you, as a perfidious tyrant, thus plunder and dissipate the kingdom of my master?Have you found him so ignorant and stupid that he did not want to, or deprived of so many people, money,

“Depart from here now, and tomorrow for the whole day be retired to your lands, without making any tumult or force on the way; and pay a thousand bezans of gold for the damage you have done in these lands. Half will yawn tomorrow, the other half will pay for the ideas of May soon to come, not leaving this hang for the Dukes of Tournemoule, Basdefesses and Menuail, together the Prince of Gratelles and the Viscount of Morpiaille. »


CHAPTER XXXII

How Grandgousier, to buy peace, feist return the cakes.



At so much is the good man Gallet; but Picrochole to all his remarks answers nothing but: "Come and ask for them, come and ask for them." They have nice balls and soft. They will bray you with the fouace. »

Adoncques returns to Grandgousier, who finds him on his knees, bareheaded, leaning in a small corner of his study, praying to God that he will soften Picrochole's anger and bring him to the point of reason, without proceeding by force. When the good man came back, he asked him:

“Ha! my friend, my friend, what news do you bring me?

- There is (dist Gallet) order; this man is at all out of the senses and left out of God.

- See but (said Grandgousier), my friend, what cause does he claim for this excess?

- He did not (said Gallet) cause me any talk, except that he dictated to me in anger a few motz de fouaces. I don't know if we would have done an insult to his foolishness.

- I want it (said Grandgousier) to hear before anything else to deliberate on what should be done. »

Then asked to know of this affair, and found it true that they had taken by force some of his people's cakes and that Marquet had received a blow from a tribard on his head; however the whole had been well paid for and the said Marquet had first wounded Forgier with his whip through the legacy. And it seemed to all his council that in all strength he must defend himself. This non ostent says Grandgousier:

"Since it's only a question of a few cakes, I'll try to satisfy him, because I really don't like raising a war." »

Adoncques inquired how many cakes we had taken, and, hear four or five dozen, ordered that we make five cartloads that night, and that one was cakes made with beautiful butter, beautiful hubs of egg, fine saffron and fine spices to be distributed to Marquet, and that for his interest he gave him seven hundred thousand and three philippus to pay the barbers who would have thought of him, and abundantly gave him the mestayrie de la Pomardiere in perpetuity, frank for him and his. For the whole drive and pass was sent Gallet, who by the way had to pick up large branches of cane and rouzeaux near the Sauloye, and had armed their carts around them, and each of the charterers; he himself held one in his hand,

They came to the door, asked to speak to Picrochole from Grandgousier. Picrochole would not let them enter, nor go to talk to them, and told them that he was prevented, but that they would say what they wanted to Captain Toucquedillon, who was sharpening some piece on the walls. So the good man said to him:

“Lord, to remove you from all this debate and avoid any excuse that does not return to our first covenant, we presently return to you the cakes which are the controversy. Five dozen took our people; they were very well paid; we love peace so much that we return five carts of it, of which this will be for Marquet, who complains more. Further, to satisfy him entirely, here are seven hundred thousand and three philippus that I deliver to him, and, for the interest that he could claim, I cede to him the farmhouse of La Pomardiere, in perpetuity, for him and his family, possessable in franc alloy; see here the contract of the transaction. And, for God, let us henceforth live in peace, and you retire joyfully to your lands, this in this place here, in which you have no rights whatsoever, as well confess, and friends as before. »

Toucquedillon related the whole thing to Picrochole, and moreover embittered his courage, saying to him:

“These boors have a good deal of bread. By God, Grandgousier is conchie, the poor drinker! It's not his art to go to war, but to empty the flasks. I am of opinion that let us retain these cakes and the money, and for the rest we hasten to repair here and pursue our fortune. But do they really think they are dealing with a dupe, to feed you with these cakes? That's it: the good treatment and the great familiarity that they have in front of you have made you accountable towards them: anoint villain, he will point you; handle villain, he will anoint you.

- That, that, that, say Picrochole, Saint Jacques, they will have some! Do as you say.

- Of one thing, said Toucquedillon, I want to warn you. We are here rather badly provisioned and scantily provided with mouthfuls of harnoys. If Grandgousier laid siege to us, from now on I would go and have all my teeth pulled out, only that three would remain for me, as much, for your people as for me: with these we will only advance too much to eat our ammunition.

- We, Dist Picrochole, will have only too much to eat. Are we here to eat or to fight?

- To fight, really, said Toucquedillon; but from the pance comes the dance, and where hunger reigns, strength exults.

- So much chatter! dist Picrochole. Seize what they brought. »

So Adoncqnes took money and cakes and beef and carts, and sent them away without saying a word, except that no one would approach so near for the cause they were told tomorrow. So, without doing anything, they returned to Grandgousier, and told him all about it, adding that there was no hope of drawing them to peace, except for a lively and violent war.


CHAPTER XXXIII

How certain governors of Picrochole,
by hasty advice, put him in the last peril.



The dukes robbed, appeared before Picrochole the Duke of Menuail, Count Spadassin and Captain Merdaille, and said to him:

“Cyre, today we return to you the happiest, the most chivalrous prince who has ever been since the death of Alexander Macedo.

- Cover, cover, Dist Picrochole.

- Great mercy (said Ilz), Cyre, we are at our duty. The method is such:

“You will leave here some captain in garrison with a small band of people to guard the place, which seems to us strong enough, both by nature and by the ramparts of your invention. Your army will leave in two, as too better hear. One party will rush on this Grandgousier and his people. By icelle will be of premium approached easily desconfit. There you will collect money in heaps, for the villain is happy with it; naughty, we say, because a noble prince never has a penny. Thesaurizer is ugly. -The other part, however, will shoot towards Onys, Sanctonge, Angomoys and Gascoigne, together Perigot, Medoc and Elanes. Without resistance will take cities, castles and fortresses.At Bayonne, at Saint Jean de Luc and Hondarribia, you will say all the naufz, and, traveling towards Galicia and Portugal, plunder all the maritime places up to Ulisbon, where you will have reinforcement of any crew required for a conqueror. By the corbieu, Hespaigne will go, because they are only madourrez! You will pass by the estroict of Sibyle, and there will erect two columns, more magnificent than those of Hercules, in perpetual memory of your name, and will be called cestuy destroy la mer Picrocholine. Past the Picrocholine Sea, here is Barbarossa, who makes himself your slave...

- I (dist Picrochole) will take it at mercy.

- Voyre (said Ilz), provided he faces baptism. And opposes the kingdoms of Tunic, Hippes, Argiere, Bone, Corone, boldly all Barbary. Going further, hold in your hand Majorca, Menorca, Sardinia, Corsica and other islands of the Ligustic and Balearic Seas. Coustoyant to the left, you will dominate all of Narbonic Gaul, Provence and Allobroges, Genoa, Florence, Lucca, and to God seas Rome! The poor Monsieur du Pape is already dying of fear.

- By my faith (dist Picrochole), I will never kiss his slipper.

- Prinze Italy, there are Naples, Calabria, Appoulle and Sicily all sacked, and Malthe with it. I would like the pleasant knights, formerly Rhodians, to resist you, to see their urine!

- I go (dict Picrochole) willingly to Laurette.

- Nothing, nothing (said Ilz); it will be on the way back. From there we will take Candia, Cypre, Rhodes and the Cyclades islands, and give on the Morea. Let's hold it. Saint Treignan, God save Hierusalem! because the subdan is not comparable to your power!

- I (said he) will therefore cause the Temple of Solomon to be built.

- No (said they) again, wait a bit. Never be so sudden in your undertakings. Do you know what Octavian Augustus said? Slow feast. It suits you first to have Asia Minor, Caria, Lycia, Pamphile, Celicia, Lydia, Phrygia, Mysia, Betune, Charazia, Satalia, Samagaria, Castamena, Luga, Savasta, up to Euphrates.

- Will we see (dist Picrochole) Babylon and Mount Sinay?

- There is no need (said they) for this hour. Isn't it bothered enough to have transferred the Hircane Sea, straddled the two Armenias and the three Arabias?

- By my faith (said it) we are panicked. Ha, poor people!

- What? they said.

- What do we boy by these desers? Because Julian Augustus and all his west died there of thirst, as they say.

- We (said he) have already given order to everything. By the Siriace Sea you have nine thousand and fourteen great naufz, laden with the best wines in the world; they came to Japhes. There were twenty-two hundred thousand camels and sixteen hundred elephants, which will have been hunted around Sigeilmes, when entrastes in Libya, and abundantly all the garavane of the Mecha. Didn't they supply you with enough wine?

- See! But (dist he) we do not beume fresh point.

- By the virtues (said Ilz) not of a small fish, a brave, a conqueror, a pretender and aspirant to the universe empire cannot always have its aizes. Praise be to God that you and your people have come safe and whole to the Tigris River!

- But (he said) what is the part of our army doing that discomfits this humble villain Grandgousier?

- They don't lie (said ilz); we will meet them soon. They took Brittany, Normandy, Flanders, Haynault, Brabant, Artoys, Holland, Selande from you. They crossed the Rhein over the belly of the Suices and Lansquenetz, and part of them tamed Luxembourg, Lorraine, Champaigne, Savoye as far as Lyons, where they found your garrisons returning from the naval conquests of the Mediterranean Sea, and reassembled in Bohemia, after having sacked Soueve, Vuitemberg, Bavaria, Austria, Moravia and Stiria; then proudly gave together over Lubek, Norway, Swedenrich, Dace, Gotthia, Engroneland, the Estrelins, even to the Glacial Sea. This done, they conquered the Orchaean Isles and subjugated Scotland, England and Ireland.Thence, navigating by the sandy sea, and by the Sarmatians, conquered and dominated Prussia,

- Let's go (dist Picrochole) to return to them as soon as possible, because I also want to be Emperor of Thebizonde. Won't we kill all those Turkish dogs and Mahumetists?

- What the hell (said they) will we do? And give their goods and lands to those who serve you honestly.

- The reason (dist he) wants it; it is fairness. I give you Carmaigne, Suria and all Palestine.

- Ha! (said Ilz) Cyre, good of you. Big mercy! God face you well always prosper! "Present was an old gentleman, experienced in various hazards and a true warrior, named Echephron, who, hearing these words, said: "I am very much afraid that all this enterprise will be like the farce of the milk pot a Cordouannier made himself rich by daydreaming; then, the pot broken, had nothing to eat. What do you claim by these beautiful conquests? What will be the end of so many labors and crosses?

- It will be (dist Picrochole) that, we return, will push back with ease. Of which Echephron said: "And if in any case you never return, for the journey is long and perilous, isn't it better that from now on we push back, without putting ourselves in these hazards?"

- O (dist Spadassin) by God, here is a good wish! But let's go hide at the corner of the chimney, and there let's pass our lives and our time with the ladies in stringing pearls, or in filling like Sardanapalus. Who does not venture, does not have horse or mule, said Solomon.

- Who too much (dist Echephron) ventures, loses horse and mule, answered Malcon.

- Damn! (dist Picrochole) let's move on. I only fear those devilish legions of Grandgousier. While we are in Mesopotamia, if they give us the tail, what remedy?

- Very good (dist Merdaille). A nice little commission, which you will send to the Muscovites, will put you in camp for a while four hundred and fifty thousand combatants of the elite. O, if you make me your lieutenant there, I would kill a pinch for a mercer! I bite, I kick, I hit, I catch, I kill, I renounce!

- Sus, sus (says Picrochole), that we despeche everything, and who loves me, if I follow. »


CHAPTER XXXIV

How Gargantua left the city of Paris to help his country,
and how Gymnast met the enemies.



At this same hour, Gargantua, who had come from Paris suddenly read his father's letters, on his great mare coming, had already crossed the bridge of La Nonnain, he, Ponocrates, Gymnaste and Eudemon, who had taken horses to follow him. From post. The rest of his train came just in time, bringing all his books and philosophical instruments. Luy arrived at Parillé, was told by the tenant farmer of Gouguet how Picrochole had recovered at La Roche Clermaud and had sent Captain Tripet with a large army to attack the boys of Vede and Vaugaudry, and that they had run the hen as far as Pressouer . Billiards, and that it was a strange thing and hard to believe in the excesses they committed in the country. As long as he fears her, and doesn't know what to say or what to do.But Ponocrates advised him that they go to the lord of La Vauguyon, who had always been their friend and confederate, and by him would be better advised in all matters, which they did immediately, and found him in good deliberation. to help them, and was of the opinion that he would send some of his people to discover the country and to know in what state the enemies were, in order to proceed there by council taken according to the form of the present hour. Gymnast will offer to go there; but it was concluded that for the better he was threatening with himself someone who knew the ways and twists and the rivers around. So he and Prelinguand, squire of Vauguyon, departed, and without fear hoped at all cost.This pendant Gargantua refreshed himself and rested a little with his people, and gave his mare a peck of oatmeal: it was sixty and fourteen thousand three bushels. Gymnast and his companion rode so long that they encountered the enemies all scattered and out of order, looting and stealing everything they could; and, from as far as they saw him, ran after him to the crowd to destroy him. So he cried out to them: “Gentlemen, I am a poor devil; I beg you to have mercy on me. I still have a few escu: we will bully it, for it is aurum potabile, and this horse here will be sold to pay for my arrival; that done, keep me from yourselves, for never man knows better how to take, lard, scorch and burn, ye, by God!dismember and greedy chicken that me who am here, and for my proficiat(b) I boy to all good companions. Then uncovered his shoe and, without putting his nose in it, drank honestly enough. The brats stared at him, opening their mouths wide and sticking out their tongues like greyhounds, waiting to bite afterwards; but Tripet, the captain, at this point ran up to see that it was. To him Gymnaste offered his bottle, saying: "Here, captain, drink it boldly, I tried it, it's a La Faye Monjau wine." the captain, at this point, ran up to see that it was. To him Gymnaste offered his bottle, saying: "Here, captain, drink it boldly, I tried it, it's a La Faye Monjau wine." the captain, at this point, ran up to see that it was. To him Gymnaste offered his bottle, saying: "Here, captain, drink it boldly, I tried it, it's a La Faye Monjau wine."

- Quoy, dist Tripet, this gaustier here is guabele of us! Who are you?

- I am (dist Gymnast) poor devil.

- Ha! (dist Tripet) since you are a poor devil, it is right that you go further, because every poor devil goes everywhere without toll or gabelle; but it is not customary for poor devils to be so well behaved. However, Mr. Devil, get off until I have the roussin, and if he does not carry me, you, Master Devil, will carry me, for I very much like that such a devil carry me away. »


CHAPTER XXXV

How Supple Gymnast Killed Captain Tripet
and other people of Picrochole.



Hearing these words, some of them began to be frightened and wiped their hands with all their hands, thinking that this was a devil in disguise. And one of them, named Bon Joan, captain of the Franc Topins, pulled his hours out of his fly and shouted rather loudly: "Agios ho Theos." If you are of God, speak to it! If you are from the Other, go away! And not go away; what several of the band heard, and departed from the company, the whole noting and considering Gymnast.

For so long he pretended to dismount, and when he was hanging from the mountain's neck, he flexed his way around the estriviere, his bastard sword at his neck, and, past below, threw himself in the air and held on both sides. put your feet on the seal, your ass turned towards the head of the horse. Then said: “My case goes backwards. »

So, in such a position as he was, skidded on one foot and, turning sinister, never failed to meet his own plate without varying anything. Of which dist Tripet:

“Ha! I won't be there for this hour, and for good reason.

- Bren! (dist Gymnast) I have failed; I see cestuy fall. »

Then by great strength and agility feist by turning the gambol to the dexter as before. This done, put the thumb of the dexter on the saddle tree and lifted the whole body in the air, supporting the whole body on the muscle and nerve of the said thumb, and so turned three times. On the fourth, throwing his whole body back without touching anything, hoisted himself between the two ears of the horse, welding the whole body in the air on the thumb of the sinister, and in this state did the turn of the reel; then, striking with the flat of his dexter hand on the middle of the saddle, gave himself such a sway that he assisted himself on the crop, as damsels do.

This done, quite at ease passes the right leg over the saddle, and assumes the state of a rider on the crop.

“But (said he) better I put myself between the arsons. »

Adoncq, leaning on the thumbs of both hands at the front crop, threw himself head over heels in the air and found himself between the arsons in good bearing; then with a sobresault lifted the whole body in the air, and thus stood with his feet joined between the arms, and there he whirled more than a hundred turns, his arms stretched out in a cross, and cried out in a loud voice: " I am enraged. , devils, I'm mad, I'm mad! Hold me, devils, hold me, hold! "

While thus hovering, the marroufles in great amazement said one to the other: “By the sea De! it is a goblin or a devil thus disguised. Ab hoste maligno, libera nos, Domine. And fled to the road, looking back like a dog carrying off a pen.

Then Gymnast, seeing his advantage, dismounts, disguises his sword and with great blows charges on the most crested, and beats them in great heaps, wounds, heartbreaks and bruises, without anyone resisting him, thinking that this was a hungry devil. , as much by the marvelous acrobatics he had made as by the remarks that Tripet had made to him, calling him a poor devil; except that Tripet in treason wanted to split his brains out with his Lansquenette sword; but he was well armed and suddenly felt only the charge, and, suddenly turning, launched a flying thrust at the said Tripet, and, while he was covering himself up, suddenly cut his stomach. the colon and half of the liver, of which fell to the ground, and, falling, gave up more than four potfuls of soup, and the soul mixed among the soup.

This fact, Gymnast withdraws, considering that cases of hazard should never continue until their period and that it is appropriate for all knights to reverently treat their good fortune, without molesting it or embarrassing it, and, mounting on his horse, gives him hopes , stalking his way straight to La Vauguyon, and Prelinguand with him.


CHAPTER XXXVI

How Gargantua tears down the castle of the Ford of Vede,
and how they crossed the ford.



Come what may, recounted the state in which he had found the enemies and the stratagem he had made, he alone against all their catervity, affirmed that they were only marulxes, looters and robbers, ignorant of all military discipline, and that boldly they went on their way, for it would be very easy for them to knock them out like beasts.

So he mounted Gargantua on his great mare, accompanied as we have said, and finding in his way a high and large tree (which was commonly called the Tree of Saint Martin, planta), said: "Here is what I needed: this tree will serve me as a bumblebee and as a spear." And tore it easily from the earth, and cut off its boughs, and adorned it for his pleasure.

During this time his mare pissed to let go of her stomach; but it was in such abundance that it made seven leagues of deluge, and diverted all the pissat to the ford of Vede, and so swelled it against the stream of the water that all this band of enemies were in great horror drowned, except some who had taken the path towards the knives on the left.

Gargantua, having come to the place of the boys of Vede, was informed by Eudemon that within the castle was some remnant of the enemies, for which, to know, Gargantua exclaimed as much as he could:

“Are you there, or are you not? If you're there, don't be there anymore; if not there, I have nothing to say. »

But a ribald gunner, who was at the machicoulys, fired a cannon shot at him and hit him furiously by the dexter temple; however, he would not suffer more for this evil than if he had gotten a plum from him.

“What is that? (dist Gargantua). Are you getting us grapes here? The harvest will cost you dearly! thinking in truth that the bullet was a grape.

Those who were inside the castle amused with pillage, hearing the noise, ran to the towers and fortresses, and fired at him more than nine thousand twenty-five shots from falconneaux and arquebouzes, all aimed at his head, and fired so small against him that he exclaimed:

“Ponocrates, my friend, these flies here are blinding me; yawn for me some branch of these willows to drive them away,” thinking of the lead shots and artillery stones that were bovine flies.

Ponocrates advised him that the only flies were the artillery shots fired from the castle. Then crashed with his great tree against the chateau, and with great blows demolished both towers and fortresses, and crushed everything to the ground. By this means were all broken and torn to pieces those which were in ice.

From there they left, arrived at the bridge of the mill and found the whole ford covered with dead bodies in such a crowd that they had engulfed the course of the mill, and they were the ones who were peritz at the mare's urinal deluge. There they thought how they could pass, given the impediment of these corpses. Goal Gymnast says:

“If the devils have been through it, I will pass it very well.

- The devils (dist Eudemon) passed there to take away the damned souls.

- Saint-Treignan! (dist Ponocrates) by therefore necessary consequence he will pass there.

- Voyre, voyre (dist Gymnast), or I will stay on the way. »

And, giving hopes to his horse, frankly passed over, without his horse ever being afraid of dead bodies; for he had accused him (according to the doctrine of Ælian) not to fear souls nor dead bodies - not by killing people as Diomedes killed the Tracks and Ulysses put the bodies of his enemies at the feet of his horses, as Homer relates , - but by putting a phantom in him among his hay and ordinarily making him pass over icelluy when he yawns his avoyne to him.

The other three followed him without failing, except Eudemon, whose right foot the horse sank to the knee in the belly of a big fat villain who was there drowned, upside down, and could not pull him out; thus would remain entangled until Gargantua with the end of his stick plunged the remains of the villain's guts into the water, while the horse lifted his foot, and (which is a marvelous thing in hippiatry) was the said horse guery with a surotqu'he had in celluy foot by the touch of the intestines of this large marroufle.


CHAPTER XXXVII

How Gargantua, so combing, made fall
from his hair the artillery balls.



Issuz the bank of Vede, shortly after landed at the castle of Grandgousier which awaited them with great desire. When he came, they feasted on him with all their might; never do we see happier people, for Supplementum Supplementi Chronicorum says that Gargamelle died there of joy. I don't know anything about it myself, and I don't care much about her or anyone else

The truth was that Gargantua, refreshing himself with his clothes and testing himself with his pigne (which was a hundred sticks tall, affixed with great whole elephant teeth), caused more than seven balls of cannonballs to fall at each blow, which had remained between him. his hair to the demolition of the boys of Vede. Seeing this, Grandgousier, his father, thought that they were pushed and said to him:

"Dea, my good son, have you brought us Montagu's esparviers here?" I only meant that you were taking up residence there. »

So Ponocrates answered:

“Lord, don't think that I put him in the lousy college called Montagu. Mieulx would have liked to put it between the mouths of Saint Innocent, for the enormous cruelty and villainy that I saw there. For the forces between the Moors and the Tartars are treated too much better, the murderers in the criminal prison, certainly see the dogs in your house, than are these malautruz in the said college, and, if I were king of Paris, the devil would kill me. 'Take it if I don't put the fire in it and burn and principal and regens who endure this inhumanity before their eyes are exercised! »

Then, raising one of these balls, said:

“These are cannon shots that your son Gargantua barely received, passing before the Boys of Vede, through the betrayal of your enemies. But they had such a reward that they all perished in the ruin of the castle, like the Philistines by the device of Sanson, and those whom the tower of Siloam oppressed, of which is written Luce, xiij. However, I am of the opinion that we continue, while the hour is on our side, for the occasion has all its hair on its forehead: when it is past, you can no longer revoke it; she is bald on the back of her head and never returns.

- Really, said Grandgousier, it won't be at this time, because I want to celebrate you for this evening, and be very welcome. »

After this supper, supper was eaten, and moreover there was roasting: six oxen, three heifers, thirty-two calves, sixty-three goat harvesters, ninety-five sheep, three hundred gourretz de laict à beau moust, one twenty twenty partridges, seven hundred becasses, four hundred cappons from Loudunoys and Cornouaille, six thousand poulletz and as many pigeons, six hundred gualinottes, fourteen hundred levraux, troys cens and troys hostards, and one thousand and seven hundred hutaudeaux. With venison one cannot cover so suddenly, fors one wild boar sent by the Abbé de Turpenay, and ten and eight wild beasts given by the Lord of Grandmont, together seven and twenty pheasants sent by the Lord of Essars, and a few dozens of woodpigeons , river birds, hoops, buours, shorthairs, plovers, francolys, cravans, tyransons, lapwings,

Without fault, there was plenty of provisions, and they were honestly served by Fripesaulce, Hoschepot and Pilleverjus, cooks from Grandgousier.

Janot, Micquel and Verrenet performed very well in boyre.


CHAPTER XXXVIII

How Gargantua ates six pilgrims in a salad.



The subject requires that we tell what happened to six pilgrims, who came from Saint Sebastien, near Nantes, and to stay that night, for fear of the enemies, had wandered in the garden above the poyzars, between the cabbages and lectues. Gargantua found himself somewhat taken aback and asked if they could find some lectues to make a salad, and, hearing that there were some of the most beautiful and large in the country, for they were as big as plum or walnut trees, wanted to go there to him. same and took in his hand what he saw fit. Together carried away the six pilgrims, who had so much fear that they could neither speak nor cough.

Washing them therefore first in the fountain, the pilgrims said in low voices one to the other: "What is it to do?" We drown here, between these readings. Will we talk? But, if we speak, he will kill us as spies. And, as they were deliberating thus, Gargantua put them with his lectues in a dish of the house, as big as the barrel of Cisteaulx, and, with some oil and vinegar and salt, ate them to refresh himself before supper, and had already swallowed five pilgrims. The sixth was in the dish, hidden under a reading, except for its staff, which appeared above. Seeing which, Grandgousier said to Gargantua:

“I believe this is a snail horn; don't eat it

- Why? (dist Gargantua). They are good all month. »

And, beating the bumblebee, together carried off the pilgrim, and ate it very well; then drank a horrible draft of Pineau wine, and waited for supper to be prepared.

The pilgrims thus devoured dragged themselves out of the grindstones of his teeth as best as they could, and thought they had been buried in some base prison pit, and, when Gargantua drank the great tract, cuydered drown in his mouth, and the torrent of wine almost carried them to the abyss of his stomach; however, leaping with their drones, as the micquelotz do, set themselves free on the edge of the dentils. But, unfortunately, one of them, testing with his staff the country to know if they were safe, struck roughly in the fault of a hollow tooth and severed the nerve of the mandible, which caused very strong pain in the stomach. Gargantua, and began screaming in the rage he was enduring.To relieve himself of the evil, therefore, brought his toothpick and, going out towards the grollier walnut tree, denigrated you, gentlemen, the pilgrims. For he snatched one by the legs, another by the shoulders, another by the bezace, another by the foilluze, the other by the scarf, and the poor hairy who had made him the bumblebee , the hung by the fly; however, it was a great stroke of luck for him, for he pierced a cankerous brush which had tormented him since the time they had passed Ancenys.

Thus the denigez pilgrims fled through the plant at a good trot, and eased the pain.

In which hour was called by Eudemon for supper, for all was ready:

“So I see myself (said he) pissing off my misfortune. »

Then pissed so copiously that the urine cut off the path of the pilgrims, and were forced to pass the great hall. Passing from there by the edge of the Touche, on the plain way, all fell, except Fournillier, into a trap which had been made to catch the wolves in the train, from which they escaped by means of the industry of the said Fournillier, who broke all the laces. and ropes. From there, for the rest of that night, they slept in a lodge near the Couldray, and there they were comforted in their misfortune by the good words of one of their company, named Lasdaller, who showed them that this adventure had been predicted by David Ps.:

“Cum exurgerent homines in nos, forte vivos deglutissent nos, when we had eaten in salad with grain of salt; cum irasceretur furor eorum in nos, forsitan aqua absorbuisset nos, when he drinks the great traict; torrentem pertransivit anima nostra-, when we passed the great hall; forsitan pertransisset anima nostra aquam intolerabilem, with his urine, which he carved out for us. Benedictus Dominus, qui non dedit nos in captionem dentibus eorum. Anima nostra, sicut passer erepta est de laquea venantium, when we fell into the trap; laqueus contritus is by Fournillier, and our liberati sumus. Adjutorium nostrum, etc. »


CHAPTER XXXIX

How the moyne was feasted by Gargantua
and the fine words he uttered while supping.



When Gargantua was at the table and the first point of the pieces was defaced, Grandgousier began to relate the source and the cause of the war waged between him and Picrochole, and came to the point of narrating how Brother Jean des Entomneures had triumphed in the defense of the nails of the abbey, and praised it above the prowess of Camillus, Scipio, Pompey, Caesar and Themistocles. So asked Gargantua to be sent for at the time, so that with him they could consult what was to be done. By their volition, he went to fetch his maitre d'hostel, and joyfully admitted him with his stick of the cross on Grandgousier's mule.

When he had come, a thousand caresses, a thousand embraces, a thousand good days were given:

“Hey, Brother Jean, my friend, Brother Jean my big cousin, Brother Jean by the devil, the acollé, my friend!

- To me the armful!

- Cza, idiot, that I force you to acol1er! »

And Brother Jean to laugh! Never was a man so courteous and gracious.

“Cza, cza (dist Gargantua), a stool here, near me, at this end.

- I want it (said the moyne), then so please. Page, water! Get started, my child, get started: she will refresh my faye. Yawn here that I gargarize.

- Deposita cappa (dist Gymnast); let's put this pants down.

- Ho, by God (dist le moyne), my gentleman, there is a chapter in statutis Ordinis which the case would not like.

- Bren (dist Gymnast), bren for your chapter. This frock breaks your two shoulders; put down.

- My friend (dist le moyne), leave me, because, by God! I only get better from it: it makes my body very happy. If I leave it, gentlemen pages will make garters of it, as it was done to me once at Coulaines. Further, I will have no appetite. But if in this habit I sit down at table, I will drink, by God! and to toy and to thy horse, and to hayt . God protect the company from harm! I had supped; but for that I will eat less, for I have a paved stomach, hollow like Saint Benoist's boot, always open like a lawyer's shoulder bag. Of all fish, except the tench, take the aesle of the partridge, or the leg of a nonnain. Isn't this idly dying when one dies the caicheroidde? Our prior is very fond of white cappon.

- In this (dist Gymnast) it does not seem pointed to the foxes, because the cappons, hens, chickens that they take, never eat the white.

- Why? say the mean

- Because (answered Gymnast) they have no cooks to cook them, and if they are not competently cooked, they remain red and not white. The redness of the meats is an indication that they are not cooked enough, except for gammarus and escrivices, which are cardinalized with cuyte.

- Feast God Bayart! (dist le moyne) the locker of our abbey therefore only has a well-cuyte head, because his eyes are red like a jadeau of vergne... This levrault thigh is good for gout patients. About trowel, why are the thighs of a damoizelle always fresh?

- This problem (dist Gargantua) is neither in Aristoteles, nor in Alexander Aphrodisias, nor in Plutarch.

- It is (says the moyne) for three causes by which a place is naturally cooled: firstly because the water runs all along; secondly, because it is a shady, dark and gloomy place, where the sun never shines; and thirdly, because it is continually evaded from the ventz of the hole of bize, shirt, and abundant of the fly. And hath! Page, to the humor!... Crac, crac, crac... How good God is, who gives us this good piot!...

I confess God, if I had been in the time of Jesus Christ, I would have taken great care that the Jews had not taken him to the garden of Olivet. Together the devil would fail me if I had failed to cut the hocks of the Apostles, who fled so lazily, after they had had a good supper, and left their good master if need be! I hate more than I hate a man who flees when he has to play with knives. Hon, that I will not be king of France for eighty or a hundred years! By God, I met you as a Courtault dog, the fugitives of Pavye! Their quarter fever! Why did they not die there sooner than leave their good prince in this necessity? Isn't it better and more honorable to die virtuously fighting than to live villainously fleeing?yawns of this pig... Diavol! there is no more must: germinavit radix Jesse. I'm giving up on my life, I'm dying of thirst... This wine isn't the worst. What wine did you drink in Paris? I'll give myself to the devil if I can't hold out for more than six months for a while. House open to all comers!... Do you know Brother Claude des Haulx Barrois? O what a good companion he is! But what mosquito stung him? He's been doing nothing but studying since I don't know when. I don't study at all, on my part. In our abbey we never study, for fear of the auripeaux. Our late abbot said it is a monstrous thing to see a learned monk.By God, Sir my friend, magis magnos clericos non sunt magis magnos sapientes... You never see so many hares as there are this year. I could not cover up either around or tierlet with a place in the world. Monsieur de la Bellonniere had promised me a lanyard, but he wrote to me when he had hardly become a patays. The partridges will eat our Mesouan ears. I don't take any pleasure in the arbor, because I languish in it. If I don't run, if I don't bother, I'm not at my height. True is that, jumping the hedges and bushes, my pants leave hair there. I covered a nice greyhound there. I give to the devil If he escapes hare. A Lacquays led him to Monsieur de Maulevrier; I destroyed it. Am I doing wrong? because I'm dying there. If I don't run, if I don't bother, I'm not at my height. True is that, jumping the hedges and bushes, my pants leave hair there. I covered a nice greyhound there. I give to the devil If he escapes hare. A Lacquays led him to Monsieur de Maulevrier; I destroyed it. Am I doing wrong? because I'm dying there. If I don't run, if I don't bother, I'm not at my height. True is that, jumping the hedges and bushes, my pants leave hair there. I covered a nice greyhound there. I give to the devil If he escapes hare. A Lacquays led him to Monsieur de Maulevrier; I destroyed it. Am I doing wrong?

-Nenny, Brother Jean (dist Gymnast), nenny, by all the devils, nenny!

- Thus (said the monk), to these devils, for as long as they last! Virtues of God! what would that boyish thing have done with it? The horn God! he takes more pleasure when presented with a good couple of beef!

-How (dist Ponocrates), you wear, Brother Jean?

-It is (said the moyne) only to adorn my language. These are colors of Ciceronian rhetoric. »


CHAPTER XL

Why the monks have fled from the world,
and why the ungs have bigger noses than the others.



Faith of Christian! (said Eudemon) I enter into great reverie, considering the honesty of this monk, for he esbaudist us all here. And how then do we chase away the monks of all good company, the troublefest calls, as bees hunt the hornets from around their rousches? “Ignavum fucos pecus

(dist Maro), a presepibus arcent. »

To which replied Gargantua.

“There is nothing so true that the frock and the cogule draw to themselves the reproaches, insults and curses of the world, just as the wind says Cecias draws the clouds. The peremptory reason is because they eat the shit of the world, that is to say the sins, and as shit we reject them in their retreats, these are their conventzes and abbeys, separate from political conversation as are the retreats of 'a house. But if you hear why a five in a family is always mocked and harrowed, you will hear why the monks are all refugees, old and young. The monkey does not guard the house, like a dog; he does not pull the aroy, like the beef; it produces neither milk nor layne, like the sheep; he does not wear the faiz, like the horse.

What he is doing is screwing up and spoiling everything, which is the cause of all the mockery and beatings received. Similarly, a monk (I mean of those ocicious monks) does not plow like the peasant, does not guard the country like the man of war, does not heal the sick like the doctor, does not preach or indoctrinate the world like the good evangelical doctor and pedagogue, does not carry the conveniences and things necessary for the republic like the merchant. This is the cause why all are booed and abhorred.

- See, but (dist Grandgousier) they pray to God for us.

- Nothing less (answered Gargantua). True is that they

- Voyre (dist le moyne), a mass, a matins, a well-ringed vespers are half-dictated.

- They mumble great reinforcement of legends and psalms by no means heard by them; they contented force patenostres, streaked with long Ave Mariaz, without thinking about it or hearing it, and what I call moccadieu, non prayer. But so their help from God, if they pray for us, and not for fear of losing their loaves and fatty soups. All true Christians, of all states, in all places, at all times, pray to God, and the Spirit prays and calls out for them, and God takes them in grace. Now such is our good Brother Jean. Yet everyone wants him in his company. He is not a bigot; it is not desired; he is honest, joyful, deliberate, a good companion; he works; he toils; he defends the oppressed;he comforts the afflicted; he is suffering; he keeps the nails

- I believe (dist le moyne) much more; because, while despecking our matins and anniversaries we heart, together I times chords of crossbow, I polymatraz and guarrotz, I make retz and pockets to take the connis. I am never idle. But now, to boyre! to boyre czà! Bear fruit; these are chestnuts from the boys of Estrocz, with good new wine, you there composer of petz. You are not yet teased. By God, I boy to all guez, like a promoter's horse! Gymnast said to him: "Brother Jean, look at that rupee hanging in your face."

- Ha! ha! (dist le moyne) would I be in danger of drowning, seeing that I am in water up to my nose? No no. Quare? Quia she comes out of it well, but does not enter it, because it is well antidoted to vines. O my friend, who had winter boots of such leather, boldly could he fish for oysters, for they would never take on water.

- Why (dist Gargantua) does Brother Jean have such a beautiful nose?

- Because (replied Grandgousier) that so God willed it, who makes us in such a form and such an end, according to his divine arbiter, as a potter makes his vessels.

- Because (dist Ponocrates) he was one of the first in the foreground. It prints more beautiful and larger.

- Trut before! (dist the average). According to true monastic philosophy, it's because my nurse had moletz nipples: while milking her, my nose sank into it like butter, and there rose and grew like dough in the dish. The hard nipples of nurses make Camuz children. But, guay, guay! Ad formam nasi cognoscitur ad te levavi... I never eat jam. Page, to the humor! Item, scorches! »


CHAPTER XLI

How the moyne feist sleep Gargantua,
and of his hours and breviary.



The supper finished, they consulted immediately on the matter, and it was concluded that about midnight they would go out to skirmish to find out what watch and diligence their enemies were doing; during this time, let them rest a little to be fresher. But Gargantua could not sleep in any way he mist. Of which the monk said to him: "I never sleep well at my ease, except when I am at the sermon or when I pray to God." I supply you, let's begin, you and I, the seven psalms to see if you will not be asleep for a while. Invention rains very well in Gargantua, and, beginning the first psalm, upon the point of Beati quorum fell asleep and one and the other. But the monk never failed to wake up before midnight, so accused was he to the hour of cloistered mornings.Luy awake,

“Ho, Regnault, wake up toy, wake up;

O, Regnault, wake up toy. »

When all were awake, he said: "Gentlemen, it is said that mornings begin with a cough, and supper with a cough." Let's do it backwards; let us now begin our mornings with a boyre, and in the evening, at the entree of supper, we will cough to whom better better. Dont dist Gargantua: “Boyre so soon after sleeping, it is not lived in diet of medicine. The first thing to do is to clean the stomach of excess fluids and excrement.

- It is (said the moyne) well medicated! A hundred devils will jump at me if there are more old hyvrognes than there are old doctors! I composed with my appetite in such a paction that he always goes to bed with me, and to that I give good order during the day, also with me he sleeps. Give back your cures as much as you want, I see myself after my tyrouer.

- What tyrouer (dist Gargantua) do you hear? - My breviary (dist le moyne), because - just as the falconers, before their birds graze, make them pull a few feet of chicken to purge their brains of phlegm and to appetite, - thus, taking this merry little breviary in the morning, I clear my lungs, and see me there ready to drink

- To what use (dist Gargantua) do you dictate these beautiful hours?

- To the use (dist the moyne) of Fecan, to three pseaulmes and three lessons or nothing at all that does not want. I never subject myself to hours: the hours are made for the man, and not the man for the hours. For so much I make mine by way of estrivieres; I shorten or lengthen them when I see fit: brevis oratio penetrat celos, longa potatio evacuat cyphos. Where is this written?

- By my faith (dist Ponocrates), I do not know, my little couillaust; but you are worth too much!

- In this (dist le moyne) I resemble you. But come apotemus. They drank hot stews and fine soups of premiums, and drank the moyne to their liking. Some held him company, the others deported him. Afterwards, each began to arm and get dressed, and armed the monk against his will, for he wanted no other weapons than his dress in front of his stomach and the stick of the cross in his fist. However, to their pleasure, they were armed from head to foot and mounted on a good courier du royaulme, and a big braquemard around the neck, together Gargantua, Ponocrates, Gymnaste, Eudemon and twenty-five of the most adventurous of the house of Grandgousier, all armed to advantage, spear in hand, mount like Saint George, each having a harquebouzier in crop.


CHAPTER XLII

How the monk gives courage to his companions
and how he hung from a tree.



Now the noble champions are going on their adventure, well deliberate to hear what encounter will have to continue and what will have to be countered, when the day of the great and horrible battle comes. And the monk gives them courage, saying: “Children, have no fear or doubt, I will guide you surely. God and Saint Benedict be with us! If I had the strength of the same courage, by death well! I will feather them to you like a duck! I fear nothing but the artillery. However, I know some oration given to me by the undersecretary of our abbey, which guarantees the person of all guns; but it will profit me nothing, for I add no point of faith to it. However, my fight for the cross will cause devils.By God, who will make the cane, of you others, I give myself to the devil if I don't do it in my place and mess it up with my pants: it brings medicine to the cowardice of people. Have you heard of Monsieur de Meurles' greyhound, which was worth nothing for the fields? He put a frock on his collar. By the body God! he escaped neither hare nor reed before him, and, what is more, covered all the female dogs of the country, which before was plagued with frigidis and maleficiatis. The monk, saying these words in anger, passed under a walnut tree, bullying towards the Saullaye, and skewered the visor of his helm at the break of a large branch of the walnut tree.This non-obstinacy proudly gave hopes to his horse, which was a tickler to the point, in such a way that the horse leaped forward, and the monk, wanting to unfasten his visor from the hook, release the bridle and hang from the branches with the hand, while the horse dresses itself. By this means the monk will remain hanging from the walnut tree and crying for help and murder, also protesting treason. Eudemon first sees him and, calling Gargantua: “Sire, come and see Absalon hanged! Gargantua, having come, considered the countenance of the monk and the form from which he hung, and said to Eudemon: “You met ill, comparing him to Absalon, for Absalon hung himself by the hair; but the monk, flush with his head, hung himself by the ears.considered the countenance of the monk and the form from which he hung, and said to Eudemon: “You have met ill, comparing him to Absalon, for Absalon hung himself by the hair; but the monk, flush with his head, hung himself by the ears. considered the countenance of the monk and the form from which he hung, and said to Eudemon: “You have met ill, comparing him to Absalon, for Absalon hung himself by the hair; but the monk, flush with his head, hung himself by the ears.

- Aydez moy (dist le moyne), by the devil! Isn't it time to talk? You seem to me to be the Decretalist preachers, who say that whoever sees his neighbor in danger of death, he must, on pain of excommunication and trisulce, rather admonish him to confess and put himself in a state of grace than to help him. When, therefore, I see them fall into the river and nearly drown, instead of going to fetch them and yawning their hands, I will give them a fine and long sermon de contemptu mundi et fuga seculi, and when they are dead , I will fish them.

-Do not move (dist Gymnast), my darling, I see you asking, because you are nice little monachus:

« Monachus in cloister
No valet ova duo;
Sed, quando is extra,
Bene vale triginta.

“I have seen more than five hundred people hanged, but I have never seen anyone who had better grace while hanging, and if I had it as good, I would like to hang my whole life like this.

-Will you (dist le moyne) preached enough? Help me from God, since from the Other do not want. By the habit I wear, you will repent tempore et loco prelibatis. »

Then Gymnast dismounted from his horse, and mounting the walnut tree, lifted the moyne by the gussets with one hand, and with the other defisted his visor from the fang of the tree and thus let him fall into the ground and be after him.

Descended as he was, the monk gave up all his arnoys and took one piece after another through the field, and, resuming his baston of the cross, remounted his horse, which Eudemon had retained in flight.

So they depart happily, taking the road to La Saullaye.


CHAPTER XLIII

How Picrochole's skirmish was met by Gargantua,
and how the monk slew Captain Tyravant,
and then was a prisoner between the enemies.



Picrochole, to the report of those who had escaped in the rupee when Tripet was crippled, felt spirits of great wrath, hearing that the devils had run on his people, and held his council all night, from which Hastiveau and Toucquedillon concluded that his power was such that he could defeat all the devils in hell if they came to it, which Picrochole did not believe at all, nor did he distrust it. Yet sent under the conduct of Count Tyravant, to discover the country, sixteen hundred knights all mounted on light horses, in skirmishes, all well sprinkled with benis water and each having for their sign a stole in a scarf, at all adventures, they met the devils, whom by virtue both of this Gringorian water and of the estolles, they made them disappear and vanish.So they ran as far as La Vauguyon and La Maladerye, but they found no one to talk to, so they went over the top, and in the lodge and pastoral tugure, near the Couldray, found the five pilgrims, who bound and scoffed took them away as if they were watched, notwithstanding the exclamations, adjurations and requests they made. Descending from there towards Seuillé, were heard by Gargantua, who said to his people:

“Comrades, there is a meeting here, and there are ten times more of them than us. Will we shock them?

- What the hell (dist le moyne) will we do then? Do you value men by numbers, and not by virtues and boldness? Then cried: "Let's shock, devils, let's shock!" »

What I mean, the enemies certainly thought that they were real devils, from whom they began to flee at full speed, except Tyravant, who laid his spear in the rest and swung the moyne with all excess in the middle of the chest; but, meeting the horrific frock, rebutted with the iron, as if you were striking a small candle against an anvil. So the moyne with his baston de croix gave him between collar and collar on the acromion bone so roughly that he astonished him and almost lost all sense and movement, and fell off the horse's feet. And, seeing the stole he wore in a scarf, said to Gargantua: "They are only priests: they are only the beginning of a moyne. By Saint John, I am a perfect moyne: I will kill you like flies. . "

Then the great gualot ran after, as long as he grabbed the last ones, and knocked them down like a saddle, knocking back and forth.

Gymnast questioned Gargantua at the time if they should continue. A quoy dist Gargantua:

"Not at all, for, according to true military discipline, one should never put one's enemy in the place of despair, because such necessity multiplies his strength and increases his courage which was once dejected and failed, and there is no better remedy for salvation than people stumble and recreate only to hope for hello to no one . always open to your enemies all the doors and paths, and sooner make them a silver bridge in order to send them back .

-Voyre, but (dist Gymnast) they have the moyne.

- Have they (dist Gargantua) the moyne? On my honor, it will be to their damage! But, in order to come upon all hazards, let us not withdraw yet; let's wait here in silence, because I think I already know enough about our enemy's machine. They guide themselves by fate, not by advice. »

They wait thus under the walnut trees, while the monk continues, shocking all those he meets, without any mercy, until he meets a knight who carries one of the poor pilgrims in his crop. And there, they want to sack it, exclaimed the pilgrim. “Ha, Monsieur le Prior, my friend, Monsieur le Prior, save me, please! When this word was heard, the enemies turned back, and, seeing that there was only the monk who was making this scandal, charged him with blows as one does an ass of boys; but nothing felt at all, even when they beat on his pants, his skin was so hard. Then they yawned him to guard two archers, and, turning bridle, saw no one against them, who knew that Gargantua had fled with his band.

Gargantua heard the noise and whinnying of horses and said to his people:

“Comrades, I hear the stage fright of our enemies, and I can see no one who comes against us in the crowd. Let's huddle here, and hold the road together. By this means we will be able to receive them to their loss and to our honor. »


CHAPTER XLIV

How the monk defied his guards, and how Picrochole's skirmish was defeated.



The monk, seeing them thus departing in disorder, conjectured that they were going to charge upon Gargantua and his people, and was marvelously sorry that he could not help them. Then he saw the countenance of his two guard archers, who had willingly run after the troop to loot something there and were always looking towards the valley into which they were descending. The advantaige syllogized, saying:

“These people here are very bad at exercising in arms, because never have asked me for my faith and never taken my braquemard away from me. »

Suddenly afterwards, he pulled out his braquemard dict and fired it at the archier who held him on his right hand, completely cutting off his jugular veins and spagitid arteries in the cervix, with the guarguareon, up to his two adenes, and, withdrawing the blow, half-opened his marrow. spinal between the second and third vertebra: there fell the archer quite dead. And the monk, turning his horse to the left, ran after the other, who, seeing his companion dead and the monk lying on his back, cried aloud:

“Ha, Mr. Prior, I surrender! Mr. Prior, my good friend, Mr. Prior! »

And the monk cried likewise:

“Monsieur le Posteriour, my friend, Monsieur le Posteriour, you will have known your posteres.

- Ha! (said the archier) Monsieur le Prior, my darling, Monsieur le Prior, may God face you abbe! By the habit (said the moyne) that I wear, I will make you a cardinal here. Do you resonate with people of religion? You will have a red hat this hour from my hand.” And the archer cried:

"Monsieur le Prior, Monsieur le Prior, Monsieur l'Abbé future, Monsieur le Cardinal, Monsieur le tout!" Ha! Ha! hey! no, Monsieur le Prior, my good little Lord the Prior, I surrender to you! - And I return you (said the moyne) to all the devils. In one blow he cut his head, cutting the test on the petrux bones, and removing the two bregmatis bones and the sagittal commissure with a large part of the coronal bone, which doing so cut him through the two meninges and opened deeply the two posterior ventricles of the brain; and the craine hangs over the shoulders from the skin of the pericranium behind, in the form of a doctoral cap, black above, red inside. Thus fell dead to the ground.

This fact, the monk gives hopes to his horse and pursues the path that the enemies were taking, who had met Gargantua and his companions on the high road and so many were diminished in number, for the enormous murder that Gargantua had done there with his great tree, Gymnast, Ponocrates, Eudemon and the others, whom they began to withdraw there diligently, all frightened and disturbed of sense and understanding, as if they saw the own species and form of death before their eyes. And - as you see an ass, when he has a Junonic bot or a fly in his ass, running hither and thither without seeing or path, dropping his load on the ground, breaking his breath and kidneys, without at all breathing or resting. , and we do not know who moves it, because we do not see anything that touches it, thus fled these people,of unproven sense, without knowing cause to flee; so much only pursue them a panic terror which had conceived in their hearts. Seeing the average that all their thought was only to be moaned about, dismounts his horse and climbs on a large rock which was on the way, and with his big braquemard hit these fugitives with a great turn of his arm, without fainting. save. Both killed and mist on the ground that his Braquemard broke in two pieces. So he thought in himself that it was massacred and killed enough, and that the rest should escape to bring the news. dismounts from his horse and mounts on a large rock which was on the way, and with which his great braquemart struck on these fugitives with a great turn of arm, without failing or sparing.Both killed and mist on the ground that his Braquemard broke in two pieces. So he thought in himself that it was massacred and killed enough, and that the rest should escape to bring the news. dismounts from his horse and mounts on a large rock which was on the way, and with which his great braquemart struck on these fugitives with a great turn of arm, without failing or sparing. Both killed and mist on the ground that his Braquemard broke in two pieces. So he thought in himself that it was massacred and killed enough, and that the rest should escape to bring the news.

However seized in his fist an ax of those who lay there dead and turned derechief on the rock, passing time to see the enemies digging and tumbling between the dead bodies, except that everyone left their pickets, swords, spears and hacks; and those who were carrying the pilgrims tied, he put them on foot and delivered their horses to the said pilgrims, keeping them with him on the edge of the hague, and Toucquedillon, whom he held prisoner.


CHAPTER XLV

How the monk brought the pilgrims
and the kind words that Grandgousier said to them.



This skirmish completed, Gargantua retreated with his people, except at dawn and at daybreak, repaired to Grandgousier, who in his bed prayed to God for their salvation and victory, and, seeing them all safe and sound, embraced them heartily. love and asked news of the moyne. But Gargantua answered him that doubtless their enemies had the means. “They will have (dist Grandgousier) thereforeques male contre”, which had been very true.

Yet still is the proverb in use to yawn the moyne to someone.

So he ordered that they prepare very well for lunch to refresh them. All done, they called Gargantua; but he was so encumbered because the monk did not appear at all, that he would neither drink nor eat.

Suddenly the monk arrives and, from the door of the low court, exclaimed:

“Vin frays, vin frays, Gymnast, my friend! »

Gymnast went out and saw that it was Brother Jean who was bringing five pilgrims and Toucquedillon prisoner. Of which Gargantua came out in front, and made him the best collection they feared, and led him before Grandgousier, who questioned him about his whole adventure. The monk told him everything, and how he had been taken, and how he had gotten rid of the archers, and the butchery he had done on the way, and how he had covered the pilgrims and brought Captain Toucquedillon. Then they all began to banquet happily together.

This pendent Grandgousier asked the pilgrims what country they were from, where they came from and where they were going.

Lasdaller for all responded:

“Lord, I am from Saint Genou in Berry; cestuy cy is from Palau; cestuy cy is from Onzay; cestuy cy is from Argy; and cestuy cy is from Villebrenin. We come from Saint Sebastian near Nantes, and we return by our short days.

- See, but (dist Grandgousier) what were you going to do in Saint Sebastian?

- We were going (dist Lasdaller) to offer him our votes against the plague.

- O (dist Grandgousier) poor people, do you think that the plague comes from Saint Sebastian?

- Yes, really (answered Lasdaller), our preachers are giving it to us.

- Yeah? (dist Grandgousier) the false prophets announce to you ilz telz abuz? Blasphemy in this way the righteous and holy of God make them like devils, who only harm among men, as Homer writes that the plague was put in the west of the Gregoys by Apollo, and as the poets fake a big bunch of Vejoves and evil gods? Thus was prescribed to Sinays a caphart that Saint Antoine set his legs on fire, Saint Eutrope caused the dropsy, Saint Gildas the madness, Saint Genou the drops. But I punish him for such an example, although he calls me a heretic, that since that time caphart whoever has not auzed to enter my lands, and am amazed if your king lets them preach through his kingdom such scandals, because there are more scandals . to punish only those who, by magic art or other device,would have put the plague through the country. The plague only kills the body, but such impostors poison the souls. »

Saying these words to him, the monk entered quite deliberately, and asked them:

"Whose are you, you other poor hagglers?"

- From Saint Genou, they said.

- And how (dist le moyne) is the Abbé Tranchelion, the good drinker? And the monks, how expensive are they? The horn God! they mess with your women, while you are in romivage!

- Hey, hey! (dist Lasdaller) I'm not afraid of mine, because anyone who sees it by day will never break their collar to go and visit it at night.

- It's (dist le moyne) well back from peaks! She could be as ugly as Proserpina, she will, by God, have a jerk since there are monks around, because a good workman puts all the pieces to work indifferently. Let me have the pox in case you don't find them pregnant on your return, for only the shadow of an abbey steeple is fruitful.

- It is (dist Gargantua) like the water of the Nile in Egypt, if you believe Strabo; and Pliny, lib. vij. chap. iij, advise that it is loaf, habitz and bodies. »

When dist Grandgousier:

"Go away, poor people, in the name of God the creator, who be your perpetual guide, and henceforth do not be easy in these otious and useless journeys. Maintain your families, work, each in his vocation, instruct your children, and live as the good apostle Saint Paul teaches you. These pheasants, you will have the guardianship of God, angels and saints with you, and there will be no pestilence or evil to harm you. ”

Then Gargantua led them to take their refection into the hall; but the pilgrims only sighed, and said to Gargantua:

“O how happy is the country that has such a man as its lord! We are more edified and instructed in these remarks that he held to us than in all the sermons that we ever preached in our city.

- This is (dist Gargantua) what Plato says, lib. v. de Rep.: that then republics would be happy when kings would philosophize or philosophers would reign. »

Then they had to fill their bezaces with food, their bottles of wine, and each gave a horse to relieve himself on the rest of the way, and a few carolus to live on.


CHAPTER XLVI

How Grandgousier treated
humanely Toucquedillon prisoner.



Toucquedillon was presented to Grandgousier and interrogated by icelluy on the business and affairs of Picrochole, what end he was aiming for by this tumultuous uproar. To which he replied that his end and his destiny was to conquer the whole country, if he could, for the injury done to his fools.

“It's (dist Grandgousier) too entreprint: which embraces too little and is not constrained. The time is no longer to conquer the kingdoms in this way with the damage of his next Christian brother. This imitation of the ancient Hercules, Alexanders, Hannibalz, Scipios, Caesars and other telz, is contrary to the profession of the Gospel, by which we are commanded to guard, save, rule and administer each his countries and lands, not to invade others hostilely. , and what the Saracens and Barbarians formerly called prowess, now we call banditry and wickedness. Better had he done so to contain himself in his house, governing it royally, than to insult in mine, hostilely plundering it; for to govern it well would have increased it, to plunder me will be destroyed.

“Go away in the name of God, follow good company; point out to your king the errors that you know, and never advise him having regard to your particular profit, because with that the common is also your own lost. When is your ranczon, I give it to you entirely, and want you to be restored arms and horse.

"So must we do between neighbors and former friends, since this is our difference is not strictly speaking war, like Plato, li. v. de Repi, wanted to be no named war, thus sedition, when the Greeks move armed one against the other, which, if bad luck should happen, he commands that one use all modesty. If you call it war, it is only superficial, it does not enter the deep closet of our hearts: for none of us is outraged in his fault committed by our people, I mean both yours and ours, which, even though you knew, you should let go further, because the quarrelsome characters were more to be contemplated than to be seen, even satisfying them according to the grievance, as I offered myself .God will be just estimator of our difference, which I supplye sooner by death my tollir of this life and my goods to perish before my eyes, than by me nor mine be offended in anything. »

These words finished, called the monk and first of all asked him:

“Brother Jean, my good friend, are you the one who took Captain Toucquedillon here?

Syre (dist le moyne), he is present; he has age and discretion; I prefer to know it by his confession than by my word. »

So dist Toucquedillon:

“Lord, it is he who truly took me, and I frankly make myself his prisoner.

- Did you (dist Grandgousier au moynes) put him to ransom?

- No (dist le moyne). I don't care about that.

- How much (dist Grandgousier) would you like of his prinse?

- Nothing, nothing (says the mean); that does not lead me. »

Then Grandgousier ordered that, present Toucquedillon, tell at least sixty-two thousand greetings for those who took him, which was done while they were having the collation at the dict Toucquedillon, to which Grandgousier asked if he wanted to stay with him, or if better love to return to his king.

Toucquedillon replied that he would hold the party which he would recommend.

“Donques (dist Grandgousier) return to your king, and God be with you. »

Then gave him a fine Viennese sword, with the scabbard of gold made with beautiful goldsmithery vignettes, and a gold necklace weighing seven hundred and two thousand marks, adorned with fine gems at the estimate of one hundred and sixty thousand ducatz, and ten thousand escuz by honorable present. After these remarks Toucquedillon mounted his horse. Gargantua, for his safety, gave him thirty men-at-arms and sixty archers under the leadership of Gymnast, to lead him to the gates of La Roche Clermaud, if need be.

Icelluy departed, the monk returned to Grandgousier the sixty-two thousand salutes he had received, saying:

"Syre, you don't have to make such donations now." Wait for the end of this war, for no one knows what affairs may arise, and a war waged without a good supply of money has only a breath of vigor. The nerfs of the battles are the pecunes.

- Doncques (dist Grandgousier) in the end I will content you as an honest reward, and all those who have served me well. »


CHAPTER XLVII

How Grandgousier sent for his legions,
and how Toucquedillon killed Hastiveau,
then was killed by the command of Picrochole.



In those same days, those of Bessé, of the Marché Vieux, of the borough of Sainct Jacques, of Trainneau, of Parillé, of Riviere, of the Roches Sainct Paoul, of Vaubreton, of Pautille, of Brehemont, of the Pont de Clam , of Cravant, of Grandmont, Bourdes, La Ville au Mère, Huymes, Sergé, Hussé, Saint Louant, Panzoust, Coldreaux, Verron, Coulaines, Chosé, Varenes, Bourgueil, Isle Boucard, du Croulay, de Narsy, de Cande, de Montsoreau and other confined places, sent embassies to Grandgousier to tell him that they were aware of the wrongs that Picrochole was doing to him, and, for their former confederation, they offered him all their power, so many people as money and other munitions of war.

The money of all amounted, by the pacts they had with him, to six twenty-four million two and a half escuz of gold. The people were fifteen thousand men-at-arms, thirty-two thousand light horses, eighty-nine thousand harquebousiers, one hundred and forty thousand adventurers, one thousand two hundred guns, double cannons, basilicz and spiroles, pioneers forty-seven thousand; all paid for and provisioned for six months and four days. Which offer Gargantua neither refused nor accepted at all; but thanking them greatly, said that he would compose this war by such an engine that need would not be so much hindered by good people. Only sent who would bring in order the legions, which ordinarily maintained in their places La Deviniere, Chaviny, Gravot and Quinquenays,

Toucquedillon, arrived, presented himself to Picrochole and told him at length what he had and done and seen. At the end he advised, in strong words, that we deal with Grandgousier, whom he had felt to be the most good man in the world, adding that it was neither preu nor reason to molest his neighbors in this way, from whom they had never had any. that all good, and, in the eyes of the principal, that never would come out of this enterprise except to their great damage and misfortune, for Picrochole's power was not such that Grandgousier could easily sack them. He had not finished this word when Hastivesau said aloud:

"Very unhappy is the prince who is of such servile people, who are so easily corrupted, as I know Toucquedillon, because I see his courage so changed that he would willingly join our enemies to fight against us and betray us, if they would have liked to retain him; but, as virtue is of all, friends as well as enemies, praised and esteemed, so wickedness is soon known and suspected, and, provided that the enemies use it for their own profit, if the wicked and traitors are always in abhomination.”

At these words, Toucquedillon, impatient, drew his sword and pierced Hastiveau with it a little above the left breast, of which he died immediately; and, controlling his blow with the body, said frankly:

“Thus perish who feaulx servants shall blasphemy! »

Suddenly Picrochole flew into a rage and, seeing the sword and scabbard so mottled, said:

"Were you given this fight to maliciously kill my so good friend Mastiveau in my presence?"

Then he commanded his archers to cut him to pieces, which was immediately done so cruelly that the room was paved with blood; then honorably bury the body of Hastiveau, and that of Toucquedillon getter over the walls in the valley.

The news of these ultraiges was received by the whole army, many of whom began to murmur against Picrochole, as long as Grippepinault told him:

“Lord, I do not know what outcome will be of this enterprise. I see your people little confirmed in their courage. they consider that we are badly provided with provisions here, and there much diminish in number by two or three years. Moreover, there comes a great reinforcement of people to your enemies. If we are besieged once, I do not see how it will not be to our total destruction.

- Bren, Bren! dist Picrochole; you look like the eels of Melun: you scream more before you are flayed. Just let them come. »


CHAPTER XLVIII

How Gargantua assaulted Picrochole in La Roche Clermaud, and defeated the army of the said Picrochole.



Gargantua had total charge of the army. His father remained in his fort, and, giving them courage by kind words, promised great gifts to those who would perform some prowess. Then they reached the ford of Vede and, by basteaulx and pons slightly made, passed beyond a passage. Then, considering the besieging of the city, which was in a high and adventurous place, we deliberated that night on what was to be done. But Gymnast said to him:

“Lord, such is the nature and complexion of the Françoys that they are worth only at the first point. Then they are worse than devils, but if they stay, they are less than a woman. I am of the opinion that at the present time, after your people have breathed a little and sated, you should attack. »

The opinion was found good. So he produced all his armies in full camp, putting the subsidies at the cost of the ascent. The moyne printed with him six ensigns of foot soldiers and two hundred men-at-arms, and in great diligence crossed the marays, and gained above the Puy as far as the main road to Loudun.

During this time the assault continued. The people of Picrochole did not know if the best thing was to go out and receive them, or to guard the town without moving. But furiously went out with some band of men-at-arms from his house, and there was received and feasted with great cannon-shots which crackled against the mountains, from which the Gargantuists retired to the valley to better give place to the artillery. Those of the towns defended the best they could, but the treaties went over the top without any opposition. None of the band, saved from the artillery, proudly attacked our people, but few profited, for all were respectful between the orders, and there fell to the ground. What we saw, wanted to withdraw;but during this time the monk had occupied the passage, whereby they fled without orders or support. Some wanted to chase them, but the monk held them back, fearing that, following the fugitives, they would lose their rances and that at this point those of the city would charge on them. Then, waiting for some space and no one comparing. against it, sent the dukes Phrontist to admonish Gargantua to advance to gain the knife on the left, to prevent the retreat of Picrochole through that door. Which Gargantua did with all diligence, and sent thisther four legions of Sebaste's company; but if they were not soon able to reach the height they would not meet Picrochole with a beard and those who with him had scattered.Then they charged stiffly, but were greatly damaged by those who were on the walls, in gunfire and artillery. What seeing,

The monk, seeing the costed cell, which he held besieged, devoid of people and guards, magnanimously shoved towards the fort and so come to a conflict which those who at their strength fight. However, he was not terrified until all his people had clasped the wall, except the two hundred men-at-arms whom he left outside for the hazards. Then cried horribly, and his people together, and without resistance killed the guards of this door and opened it the men-at-arms, and in all pride ran together towards the door of the East, where was the disarray, and from behind reversed all their strength. Seeing them besieged from all sides and the Garguantuists having reached the city, went to the moyne at mercy. The monk made them give up their sticks and arms, and all withdraw and tighten by the churches, seizing all the sticks of the crosses and committing people to the gates to keep them from going there; then, opening the eastern door, came out to help Gargantua.

But Picrochole thought that help came to him from the city, and out of ultrecuidence he ventured more than before, until Gargantua exclaimed:

“Brother Jean, my friend, Brother Jean, come early. »

So, knowing Picrocholes and his people that all was hopeless, fled everywhere. Gargantua pursued them to near Vaugaudry, killing and massacring, then sounded the retreat.


CHAPTER XLIX

How fleeing Picrochole was surprised by bad luck,
and what Gargantua does after the battle.



Picrochole, thus in despair, fled to Isle Bouchart, and on the Chemin de Riviere his horse fell to the ground, at which he was so indignant that his sword killed him in his chole. Then, finding no one to go up it, wanted to take an ass from the mill which was near by; but the millers bruised him suddenly and stripped him of his clothes, and yawned for him to cover himself with a nasty sequenye.

So departed the poor choleraic; then, crossing the water at Port Huaux and recounting his misfortunes, was advised by an old lourpidon that his kingdom would be restored to him at the arrival of the cocquecigrues. Since then, no one knows what he has become. However, I have been told that he is now poor Gaignedenier in Lyon, angry as before, and always complains to allers about the arrival of the cocquecigrues, certainly foreign hoping, according to the prophecy of the old woman, to be at their arrival. reintegrated into his kingdom.

After their retreat, Gargantua first surveyed the people and found that few were lost in battle, namely a few footmen of Captain Tolmere's band, and Ponocrates who had a harquebouze in his doublet. Then had them chilled, each by his band, and ordered the thesauriers that this meal be defrayed and paid for and that no one would do any insult whatsoever in the city, since it was his, and after their meal they would appear in the town . place before the chateau, and there would be paid for six months; what was done. Then summoned beforehand to the said place all those who remained there on behalf of Picrochole, esquelz, presenting all his princes and captains, spoke as follows:


CHAPTER L

The contion that feist Gargantua are defeated.



“Our fathers, ancestors and ancestors from all memory have been of this sense and this nature that battles consummated by them have, as a memorial sign of triumphs and victories, more willingly erected trophies and monuments in the hearts of those conquered by grace than, lands Conquered by them, by architecture: for more esteemed the vivid remembrance of humans acquired by liberality than the mute inscription of arches, columns and pyramids, subject to the calamities of the air and the desire of everyone.

“You can remember enough of the leniency they showed towards the Bretons on the day of Saint Aubin du Cormier and the demolition of Parthenay. You have heard and, hear, admire the good treatment they gave to the barbarians of Spagnola, who had plundered, depopulated and sacked the maritime ends of Olone and Thalmondoys.

"All this sky was filled with the praises and gratulations that you yourself and your fathers feists when Alpharbal, king of Canarre, not assov of his fortunes, furiously invaded the country of Onys, exerting piracy in all the Armorican islands and confined regions. He was in just naval battle taken and vanquished by my father, to whom God beware and protector. But what? In the event that the other kings and emperors, voyre who call themselves Catholics, had treated him miserably, harshly imprisoned and extremely ransomed, he treated him courteously, amicably, lodged him with what he was in his palace, and by incredible goodness sent him back to safe conduct, loaded with gifts, loaded with graces, loaded with all offices of friendship .Luy, returned to his lands, assembled all the princes and estates of his kingdom, exposed to them the humanity he had in us, and begged them on this matter so that the world would have an example, as there was already in us honest graciousness , also in them of graceful honesty. There it was decreed by unanimous consent that we would entirely offer up their lands, domains and kingdom, to do with them according to our arbiter. Alpharbal himself suddenly returned with nine thousand thirty and eight great shipwrecks, carrying not only the treasures of his house and royal line, but almost of the whole country;because, being embarked to sail to the wind in the Northeast, everyone in the crowd gets gold, silver, rings, jewels, spices, drugs and aromatic odors, pelicans, pelicans, monkeys, civets, genets, porcz spicy . Poinct was not the son of a reputed good mother who in it did not get what was singular. Come what may, wanted to kiss my father's feet; the act was considered worthy and was not tolerated, thus was socially embraced. Offered his presents; they weren't received too much or too much. gave himself mancipe and voluntary serf, self and his posterity; this was not accepted by not seeming fair.Ceded by the decree of the estates his lands and kingdom, offering the transaction and conveyance, signed, sealed and ratified by all those who do so; it was totally refused, and the contracts were fired. The end was that my said father began to lament with pity and to weep copiously, considering the frank will and simplicity of the Canarians, and by exquisite words and congruent sentences diminished the good trick he had done them, saying that he had done them no good that was estimated by a button, and, if nothing of honesty had shown them, he was bound to do. But so much the more increased Alpharbal. What was the outcome?Whereas for his ransom, prinze at all extremities, had little tyrannically demanded twenty times a hundred thousand escutz and retained to shelter his aisnes children, they have made themselves perpetual tributaries and compelled us to give each year two millions of gold refined at twenty four karatz. lIz we were the first year here pay; the second, willingly, paid xxiij one hundred thousand escuz, the third one xxvj one hundred thousand, the fourth three million, and so much always grow of their own free will that we will be forced to inhibit them from bringing us anything more. It is the nature of gratuitousness, for time, which corrodes and diminishes all things, augments and increases blessings, because a good trick liberally done to the man of reason grows continually by noble thought and remembrance.

“Wanting therefore in no way to degenerate from the hereditary goodwill of my parents, now I absolve and deliver you, and make you free and free as before. In abundance, you will be at the exit of the gates, pay, each for three months, to be able to withdraw to your homes and families, and will lead you in safety six hundred men-at-arms and eight thousand foot soldiers, under the conduct of my squire Alexander, so that the peasants will not be insulted. God be with you!

“I regret with all my heart that Picrochole is not here, because I would have given him to understand that without my will, without hope of increasing either my property or my name, this war was being waged. But, since he is desperate and no one knows where or how he has vanished, I want his kingdom to remain entirely with his son, who, because he is too young (because he is not yet five accomplished), will be governed and instructed by the ancient princes and learned people of the kingdom. And, inasmuch as a kingdom thus desolate would be easily ruined, if the covetousness and avarice of the administrators of icelluy were not restrained, I order and want that Ponocrates be known to all his governors hearing with only authority to this required,

"I consider that too enervated and dissolute ease in forgiving evildoers is an opportunity for them to more lightly denounce wrongdoing, by this pernicious confidence of grace.

“I consider that Moses, the sweetest man who in his time was on earth, bitterly punished the mutineers and seditious among the people of Israel.

“I consider that Julius Cesar, emperor so debonair as of him, told Cicero that his fortune had nothing more sovereign except that he could, and his virtues better had only that he always wanted to save and forgive everyone; icelluy however, this not obstant, in certain places rigorously punishes the authors of rebellion.

“I want to give myself up to these examples before leaving: firstly, this handsome Marquet, who was the source and the first cause of this war by his vain ultrecuidence; secondly, his crazy companions, who neglected to correct his mad head for the moment; and finally all the advisers, captains, officers and servants of Picrochole, who would have urged, praised or advised him to go beyond his limits to thus disturb us. »


CHAPTER LI

How the Gargantuist victories
were rewarded after the battle.



This plan, made by Gargantua, had the rebels delivered by him, except Spadassin, Merdaille and Menuail, who had fled six hours before the battle, one as far as the Col de Laignel, the other as far as the valley de Vyre, the other as far as Logrone, without looking behind nor prandre alain on the way, and two fouaciers, which perished during the day. No other harm did their feist Gargantua, except that he ordered them to pull the presses to his printing press, which he had newly established.

Then those who were dead there were honorably buried in the valley of the Noirettes and in the camp of Bruslevieille. The sorry he feist bandaged and treated in his great nosocome. After advising of the damage done to the city and inhabitants, and having them repay all their interests to their confession and oath, and having a fortified castle built there, committing men and watches therein to better defend themselves against sudden riots in the future. .

On leaving, thanked all the soubdars of his legions graciously who had been at this defeat, and sent them back to winter in their stations and bands, which he brought with him to Grandgousier.

At the sight and coming of them, the good man was as happy as possible, were it not to be described. So they were given a feast, the most magnificent, the most abundant and the most delicious that had been seen since the time of King Assuera. At the end of the table, he distributed to each of them all the trimmings of his sideboard, which amounted to eight hundred thousand and fourteen gold bezans in large antique vases, large poutz, large basins, large cups. , goblets, potetz, candelabra, calathes, nacelles, violiers, bezels and other such tableware, all of solid gold, besides the gems, enamel and work, which, in the esteem of all, exceeded the material of iceulx. Plus, their feist counted from his coffers to each twelve hundred thousand escutz contens,


CHAPTER LII

How Gargantua feist build for the monk the abbey of Theleme.



There remained only the monk to be filled, which Gargantua wanted to make abbot of Seuillé, but he refused it. He wanted to give him the abbey of Bourgueil or Saint Florent, which would best give him, or both if he took them at will; but the moyne gave him a peremptory responce that on the whole he did not want office or government:

“For how (he said) could I govern others, who myself do not know how to govern? If it seems to you that I have done you and that in the future I can do pleasant service, help me to found an abbey at my estimate. »

The request rained down on Gargantua, and offered all his country of Theleme, just the river of Loyre, two leagues from the great forest of Port Huault, and required Gargantua to institute his religion unlike all others.

“First of all, therefore (dist Gargantua) there will be no need to build walls on the circuit, because all the other abbeys are proudly walled up.

- Voyre (says the moyne), and not without cause: where there is a wall and before and behind, there is a force of murmur, envy and mute conspiracy. »

Moreover, since in certain convents of this world it is customary that, if any woman enters there (I mean preudes and chastises), the place through which they have passed should be cleaned, it was ordered that, if monk or nun enter there by fortuitous event, one would curiously clean all the places by which would have passed. And because in the religions of this world everything is formal, limited and regulated by hours, it was decreed that there would be no clock nor quadrant, but according to the occasions and opportunities would be all the works dispensed; for (said Gargantua) the greatest waste of time that could be was counting the hours - what good comes of it?- and the greatest reverie in the world was to govern by the sound of a bell, and not by the dictation of common sense and understanding. Item,

“By the way (said the monk), a woman who is neither beautiful nor good, what is the point?

- To put in religion, said Gargantua.

- Voyre (dist le moyne), and to make shirts. »

It was ordained that there would not be received except the beautiful ones, well formed and well natured, and the beautiful ones, well formed and well natured.

Item, because the convents of women did not enter men except at the outset and clandestinely, it was decreed that there would never be women there in case the men were not there, nor the men in case the men were not there. women,

Item, because both men and women, once respected in religion, after the year of probation were compelled and compelled to remain there perpetually their entire life, it was estably that both men and women there would go out when it seemed good to them, frankly and entirely .

Item, because ordinarily the monks made three wishes, knowing is of chastity, poverty and obedience, it was constituted that there honorably one can be married, that each one was rich and vesquist in freedom.

With respect to the legitimate age, women were received there from ten to fifteen, men from twelve to ten and eight.


CHAPTER III

How was built and endowed the abbey of Thelemites.



For the building and assortment of the abbey, Gargantua feist to deliver content twenty-seven hundred thousand eight hundred and thirty-one sheep to the great wool, and by each year, until the whole was perfect, assigned, sus there recept de la Dive , sixteen hundred and sixty-nine thousand escuz to the sun, and as much to the estoille pousiniere. For the foundation and maintenance of it gave in perpetuity twenty three hundred and sixty nine thousand five hundred and fourteen nobles to the rose of land rent, indemnified, amortized, and solvent by each year at the door of the abbey, and from this passed to them. beautiful letters.

The building was in exagonal figures, so that at each angle was built a large round tower with a capacity of sixty paces in diameter, and were all alike in size and proportion. The Loyre river flowed from the northern aspect. At the foot of it was one of the seated towers, named Artice, and pulling towards the East, was another named Calaer; the other following Anatole; the other after Mesembrine; the other after Skipper; the last Cryere. Between each tower was a space of three hundred and twelve paces. The whole six-storey basty, includes the underground cellars for one. The second was curved in the shape of a basket handle;the rest was covered with guy [gypsum] from Flanders in the form of culz lamps, the top covered with fine slate,

The said building was a hundred times more magnificent than Bonivet, Chambourg, or Chantilly; for in ycelluy were nine thousand three hundred and thirty-two rooms, each provided with a back room, study, wardrobe, chapel, and toilet in a large hall. Between each tower, in the middle of the said main building, was a broken viz, within the same bodies, of which the steps were part porphyry, part Numidic stone, part serpentine marble, xxij: feet long; the thickness was three fingers, the plate by the number of twelve between each rejected. In each pushed back were two fine antique arches through which light was received, and through them one entered a cabinet made at clere voys, the breadth of the said viz.And went up to the top of the cover, and there ended up in a pavilion.

From the Artice tower to Cryere were the beautiful large bookshops, in Greek, Latin, Hebrieu, Françoys, Tuscan and Hepaignol, distributed by the various estaiges according to these languages. In the middle was a marvelous viz, from which the entrance was from outside the house in an arch six toizes wide. It was made in such symmetry and capacity that six men-at-arms, spears on their thighs, could see abreast together climb to the top of the whole building.

From the Anatole Tower to Mesembrine were beautiful grand galleries, all pints of the ancient feats, stories and descriptions of the land. In the middle was a similar rise and gate as we have said from the side of the river. Above it was written, in large antique letters, what follows:


CHAPTER LIV

Registration placed on the main gate of Theleme.



Do not enter, you hypocrites, bigotz,
Old matagotz, muddy, bloated,
Torcoulx, idlers, more than the Gotz were,
Ny Ostrogotz, precursors of magotz
Haires, cagotz, caffars slip on,
Beggars muffle, frapars escornifle,
Beffle, swell, weavers of tabus;
Shoot elsewhere to sell your abuse.


Your wicked abuses
Would fill my camps
Of wickedness;
And by falsehood
trouble my songs
You mischievous abuse.

Do not enter, massefain practitioners,
Clers basauchiens eaters of the popular.
Officials, Scribes and Pharisees,
Ancient judges, who the good parroicians
As well as dogs put to the capular;
Your salary is at the sinister
Go bray there, here is not too much
Of which in your course we should move to trial.

Trial and debate
Few do cy d'esbatz,
Where we come to frolic.
It's up to you to discuss
Be in full cabatz
Trial and debate.

Cy do not enter, you wearers chichars,
Briffaulx, the chariots, which always amass,
Flupeminaulx, swallowers of winters,
Bend, camars, who in your hullmars
A thousand marks would never be enough.
Poinct esgasse n'estes, when banged up
And pile up, little-faced pilferons:
The male died in this step in front of you.

non-human face
Of such people, that we maine
Raire elsewhere: ceans
Would not be sessions;
Check out this area,
Non-human face.

Cy do not enter, you rassote mastins,
Evenings and mornings, old sorrows, and jealous;
Ny you too, seditious mutineers,
Larvae, goblins, of Dangier palatines,
Greeks or Latins, more to be feared than wolves;
Ny you gualous, verollez up to the ous;
Carry your wolves elsewhere to graze in happiness,
Rise up, filled with dishonour.

Honor, loss, deducted,
Ceans is deducted
By happy agreements;
All are healthy in body;
By this, well their dict
Honor, los, deducted.

Come in, you, well you have come
And come, all noble knights!
Cy is the place where the incomes are
Well done; so that maintain
Big and small, all are thousands.
My familiars will be and particular:
Frisques, gualliers, happy, pleasant, cute
In general all nice companions.

kind companions,
Serains and subtilz,
out of town,
civility
Cy are the tools,
Kind comrades.

Cy enter, you who the holy Gospel
In an agile sense announce, whatever one scolds:
Ceans will have a refuge and bastille
Against the hostile error, which posts so much
By his false style to poison the world:
Come in, let us establish deep faith here,
Then, let us confused, and by voice and roll,
The enemies of the holy word!

The holy word
Never be extinguished
In this most holy place;
Everyone is girded with it;
Each was pregnant
The holy word

Cy enter, you ladies of high paraige!
In frank courage enter there in good luck,
Flowers of beauty, with a celestial face,
Straight bodice, prude and saige bearing.
In this passage is the stay of honor.
The high lord, who of the place was donor
And guerdonneur, for you ordered it,
And to spawn at any given pro .

Gold given by donation
Order forgiveness
To the eye that gives it,
And very well healed
All mortal preud'hom
Gold donated by donation.


CHAPTER LV

As was the mansion of the Thelemites



In the middle of the lower court was a magnificent fountain of beautiful alabaster; above are the three Graces, with cornucopias, and get water from the breasts, mouth, ears, eyes, and other openings of the body.

The interior of the dwelling above the said low court was on large pillars of cassidoine and porphyry, with beautiful antique arches, inside which were beautiful gualeries, long and ample, adorned with pintures, deer horns, unicorns, rhinoceros, hippopotamuses, dens of elephants , and other spectacular things.

The ladies' quarters extended from the Artice tower to the Mesembrine gate. The men occupied the rest. In front of the said dwelling of the ladies, so that they had the delight, between the first two towers, outside, were the lists, the hippodrome, the theater, and swimming pools, with the marvelous baths with triple solier, well furnished with all assortments, and myre water foyzon.

Adjoining the river was the beautiful pleasure garden; in the middle of iceluy, the beautiful labirynt. Between the other two rounds were the games of paulme and big ball. From the corner of the Cryere tower was the orchard, full of fruit-bearing trees, all arranged in quincunx order. At the end was the large park, teeming with waterfowl.

Between the third towers were the butts for the arquebus, the bow, and the crossbow; the offices outside the Hesperie tower, with a single estaiche; the stable beyond the offices; the falconry in front of icelles, governed by asturciers well experienced in the art, and was annually supplied by the Candians, Venetians and Sarmatians, with all kinds of paragon birds, eagles, gyrfalcons, goshawks, sakers, laniers, falcons, esparviers, émerillons , and others, so well made and domesticated that, leaving the castle to frolic in the fields, took everything they encountered. The venery was a little further away, tending toward the park.

All the halls, chambers, and closets were carpeted in various kinds, according to the seasons of the year. The whole pavement was covered with green cloth. The lictz were of embroidery. In each back chamber was a crystalline mirror, encased in fine gold, trimmed in turn with pearls, and was of such size that it could truly represent the whole person. At the end of the halls of the ladies' quarters were the perfumers and testers, through whose hands the men passed when they visited the ladies. Each morning they supplied the ladies' rooms with rose water, naphe water, and angel water, and each with the precious cassollette, vaporizing with all aromatic drugs.


CHAPTER LVI

How were the monks and nuns of Theleme dressed?



The ladies, at the beginning of the foundation, dressed at their pleasure and arbiter. Since then, were reformed by their frank will in the way that ensued.

They wore scarlet or migraine stockings and passed the said stockings the knee above by three fingers precisely, and this lizière was of some beautiful embroidery and cutouts. The garters were of the color of their bracelets, and understood the knee above and below. The shoes, pumps and slippers of crimson red or purple velvet, shredded With squirrel's beard.

Above the shirt was the beautiful vasquine of some fine silk camelot. Above it were dressed the verdugale of white, red, tanned, gray, etc. tafetas, above the coat of silver tafetas made with fine gold embroidery and twisted needle, or, as they saw fit, and correspond available to the air, satin, damask, orange velvet, tanned, green, ash, blue, light yellow, crimson red, white, gold cloth, silver cloth, canetille, embroidery, according to the parts.

The dresses, depending on the season, of gold canvas with silver frizure, red satin covered with gold canetille, white, blue, black, tanned tafetas, silk sarge, silk camelot, velvet, woolen cloth, silver, silver cloth, traict gold, velvet or gold-porfiled satin in various protraictures.

In summer, on some days, instead of dresses, beautiful marlottes were worn, the aforesaid ornaments, or a few bernes à la Moresque, of violet velvet with gold frizure on silver canetille, or with gold cords, garnished at the meetings of small Indicques pearls. And always the beautiful panache, according to the colors of the sleeves, and well guarny of papillettes. In winter, dresses in tafetas of the same colors as above, stuffed with wolf deer, black genets, Calabrian martens, sables, and other precious furs.

The patenostres, ringels, jazerans, yokes, were fine gemstones, carbuncles, sweep rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, turquoises, garnets, agates, berilles, pearls, and unions of excellence.

The acoustics of the test was according to the weather. in winter in the Francoyse fashion; in the spring at the Spanish; in summer at La Tusque, except on holidays and Sundays, they wore Françoys attire, because he is more honorable and better feels matronly modesty.

The men were dressed in their fashion. breeches, for the stockings, of estamet or draped serge, scarlet, migraine, white or black; the velvet tops of these colors, or very close, embroidered and shredded according to their invention; the doublet of cloth of gold, silver, velvet, satin, damask, tafeta, of the same colors, shredded, embroidered and acoustered in paragon; the aguillettes, of silk of the same colors; the gold will go well enameled; the sayes and trimmings of cloth of gold, cloth of gold, cloth of silver, velvet porfilé at pleasure; the dresses as much precious as ladies; the silk belts, the colors of the doublet;each the beautiful sword with the neck, the gilded hilt, the velvet sheath of the color of the breeches, the end of gold and goldsmithery; the dagger of same; the black velvet bonnet, garnished with rings and gold buttons; the white feather on top, delicately parted with gold spangles, at the end of which hung in papillettes beautiful rubies, emeralds, etc.

But such sympathy was between the men and the women that on each day they were dressed in similar finery, and so as not to fail, certain gentlemen were ordered to tell the men, each morning, what livery the ladies wanted on that day. wear, because the whole thing was done according to the arbiter of the ladies.

In these vestments, so clean and accoutrements, so rich, do not think that they or they lose any time, because the masters of the wardrobes had their whole dress so ready every morning, and the ladies of the chamber were so well taken that in a moment they were ready. and dress from head to toe. And, for these acoustremens to have the best opportunity, around the boys of Theleme was a large body of a house half a league long, very clear and assorted, in which lived the goldsmiths, lapidaries, embroiderers, tailors, gold drawers, velvet workers . , upholsterers, and aultelissiers, and there each worked in his profession, and all for the aforesaid monks and nuns. Iceulx was provided with material and fabric by the hands of Lord Nausiclete,which, each year, returned to them seven ships from the islands of Perlas and Canibales, laden with ingots of gold, raw silk, pearls and precious stones. If some unions tended to decay and changed their naive whiteness, these by their art renewed by feeding them to a few beautiful cocks, as one yawns cures are falcons.


CHAPTER LVII

How were the Thelemites regulated in their way of life.



Their whole life was employed not by law, statute or rule, but according to their will and free will. Get up from bed when it suits them, drink, eat, work, sleep when the desire comes to them; no one awakened them, no one forced them either to drink, or to eat, or to do anything else whatsoever. So had it estably Gargantua. In their rule was only this clause:

DO WHAT YOU WANT,

because free people, well nosed, well educated, conversational in honest company, have by nature an instinct and a spur which always impels them to virtuous deeds and withdraws from vice, which they call honor. They, when by vile subjection and constraint are depressed and enslaved, divert the noble affection, by which to virtue frankly tended, to lay down and break this yoke of servitude; for we always undertake forbidden things and covet what is denied us.

By this freedom they entered into laudable emulation to do all that a single person saw as pleasing. If anyone or anyone said, "Let's drink," all would drink; if they said, "Let us play," all would play; if they said, "Let's go to the esbat in the fields," everyone would go there. If it was for stealing or hunting, the ladies, mounted on beautiful hackneys with their gourrier palfreys, on their fists, cutely enguanteed, each wore either a esparvier, or a laneret, or an esmerillon. The men carried the other birds.

So nobly were they learned that there was only one among them who could not read, write, sing, play harmonious instruments, speak five or six languages, and in themselves compose as much in Carmelite as in solitary prayer. Never were we seen knights so valiant, so gualan, so dexterous on foot and on horseback, more verses, better stirrings, better manians all bastons, than there were, never were seen ladies so clean, so cute, less annoying, more learned by hand, by needle, by any honest and free multiple act, whatever there was.

For this reason, when the time came, no one from this abbey, either at the request of his parents, or for other reasons, wanted to go outside, with himself he took one of the ladies, the one who would have taken him for his devotee. , and were married together; and, so well had they lived in Thelema in devotion and friendship, still better they continued it in marriage: so much did they intertwine at the end of their days as the first of their nuptials.

I do not want to forget to describe to you an enigma which was found at the foundations of the abbey in a large blade of bronze. Such was as follows:


CHAPTER LVIII

Enigma in prophecy.



Poor humans who happily wait,
Raise your hearts and hear my words.
If it is allowed to firmly believe
Than by the bodies that are in the firmament
Human spirit of self may come
To pronounce the things to come,
Or, if you can by divine power
Of the future fate to have knowledge,
As long as we judge in assertive speech
From distant years destiny and course,
I know who wants to hear it
That it's next winter, without further ado,
See you sooner, in this place where we are
He will come out a way of men
Tired of the rest and tired of the stay,
Who frankly will go, and in broad daylight,
bribe people of all kinds
To differ and bias.
And who would want to believe them and listen
(Whatever may come and go),
They will put in apparent debate
Amys between themselves and close relatives;
The filz hardy will not fear the improper
To bend against his own father;
Even the great ones, from a noble place salient,
Their subjects will be assailed,
And the duty of honor and reverence
Lose henceforth all order and difference,
Because they will say that each in turn
Gotta go up and then back,
And on this point there will be so many melee,
So many discords, comings and goings,
That no history, where are the great wonders,
Has told of similar emotions.
Then will be seen many a worthy man,
By the esguillon of youth and warmth
And believe too much this fervent appetite,
To die in flower and to live very small.
And no one can leave this work,
If once he puts the courage in it,
That he did not emply by noises and debates
The heaven of sound and the earth of footsteps.
Then will have no less authority
Men without faith than people of truth;
For all will follow credence and study
Of the ignorant and foolish multitude,
The heaviest of which will be accepted as a judge.
O damaging and painful deluge!
Deluge, dy I and with good reason,
'Cause this job won't lose its season
The earth will not be delivered from it
Until it comes out wide
Sudden waters, the most tempting of which
By fighting will be caught and soaked,
And with good reason, because their heart, addicted
In this fight, will not have lost
Even to the flocks of innocent beasts,
Only their dishonest nerves and guts
It be made, not to the Gods a sacrifice,
But to mortal ordinary service.
But now I let you think
How will it all be dispensed
And what a rest in noise so deep
Will have round machine body!
The happiest, who more of her will hold,
Less of the loser and gaster will abstain,
And will stain in more than one way
To enslave him and take him prisoner
In such a place that the poor defaicte
Will have recourse only to the celluy who made it;
And, for the worst of his sad accident,
The clear sun, as well as being in the West,
Lairra spread darkness over her
More than eclipse or natural night,
Which in one fell swoop will lose his freedom
And from the high heaven favor and clarity,
Or at least will remain deserted.
But she, before this ruin and loss,
Will have long shown noticeably
A violent and so great tremor,
That when Ethna was not so agitated
When on a titan sonz was thrown;
And more suddenly should be esteemed
The movement that Inarimé makes
When Tiphoeus so strongly resented
That into the sea the mountains rushed.
Thus will be in a few hours returned
In sad state, and so often changed,
That even those who hold will have it
Aulx supervenans occupy the lairront.
Then the good and propitious time will be near
To end this long exercise:
Because the great waters of which hear me chat
Will each make the retirement adviser;
And all the same, in front of the department,
We can see up in the air
The bitter heat of a great spirited flame
To end the waters and the business.
There remains, after these perfect accidents,
May the children happily redo
Be of all good and celestial manna,
And abundant by honest reward
Enrich be; the others at the end
Be naked. This is the reason, so
That, this work in such a point finished,
Each one has his destined fate.
Such was the agreement. O what is to be revered
Cil who in the end will be able to persevere!

The reading of this monument finished, Gargantua sighed deeply, and said his assistants:

“It is not now that people reduced to the credence of the Gospel are persecuted; but very happy is he who will not be scandalized and who will always tend to the goal, to the white that God, by his dear Son has prefixed us, without by his carnal affections being distracted or diverted. »

The mean says:

“What do you think, in your understanding, to be by this enigma designed and signified?

- What? (dist Gargantua). The course and maintenance of divine truth.

- By Saint Goderan (dist le moyne), such is my exhibition; the stille is from Merlin the Prophet. Give it allegories and intelligences as serious as you want, and devour it, you and everyone, as well as you want. For my part, I don't think of it in any other enclosed sense than a description of Paulme's game in obscure lyrics. The bribers of people are the makers of parties, who are usually friends, and, after the two hunts have been made, the one who was there is out of the game and the other enters it. We believe the first to say whether the esteuf is above or below the chord. The waters are the sweats; the strings of the raquestes are made of guts of sheep or goats; the round machine is the pelota or the esteuf.After the game, we cool off in front of a bright fire, and change our shirt, and voluntiers banquequete one, but more joyfully those who have guainné. And great dear! »

END