THE QUARTER POUND
FACTS AND Heroic sayings OF PANTAGRUEL.

Composed by Francois Rabelais

Doctor of Medicine.


In Paris,
From the Michel Fezandat printing press, to Mont
S. Hilaire, at the hostel in Albret.
1552
With privilege of the King.


To most illustrious Prince,
AND REVERENDIOUS
my lord Cardinal Odet
of Chatillon.




You are duly adverty, most illustrious Prince, of many great personages I have been, & am daily stipulated, required, & importuned for the continuation of the Pantagruelic mythologies: alleging that several languorous, sick, or otherwise angry & sorry people had to read from here they deceived their boredom, time happily passed, & repceu ailigre & new consolation. I am accustomed to respond, that they by composing esbat do not claim glory nor praise any: only have esguard & intention in writing to give this little relief that you are afflicted & sick absent, which willingly, when necessary, I do presens who be help of my art & service. Sometimes I expose to them by long speech, how Hippocrates in several places, even one sixth book of Epidemics, describing the institution of the physician his disciple: Soranus Ephesian, Oribasius, Cl. Galen, Hali Abbas, other similar authors, composed it in gestures, bearing, gaze, touch, composure, grace, honesty, neatness of face, jacket, beard, hair, hands, mouth, even to the point of particularizing the nails, as if he had to play the role of some lover or pursuer in some badge of comedy, or descend into a closed camp to fight some powerful enemy. In fact, the practice of Medicine is quite properly compared by Hippocrates to a fight, and a farce played on three characters: the patient, the doctor, the disease. Which composition, reading a few times, I remembered a word from Iulia to Octavian Augustus her father. One day she had presented herself before him in a pompous, dissolute, and lascivious dress: and had greatly displeased him, although he did not hear a word of it. The next day she changed her vestments, and dressed modestly as was then the custom of chaste Roman ladies. Thus dressed presented herself before him. He, who on the previous day had not declared in words the displeasure he had had seeing her in immodest clothes, cannot hide the pleasure he took seeing her thus changed, and told her. O how much more fitting and praiseworthy is this dress in the daughter of Augustus. She had her prompt excuse, and answered him. Huy got dressed for my father's eyes. Yesterday I was the estois for the liking of my husband. Like the doctor thus disguised opposite & habitz, likewise dressed in a rich & pleasing robe with four sleeves, as the state was once, & was called Philonium, as Petrus Alexandrinus says in 6. Epid. Respond to those who find the prosopopeia strange. Thus I am acoustered, not to gurgiase & pump myself: but for the liking of the patient, whom I visit: to whom only I want entirely to please: in no way to offend or anger him.
More there is. Under a passage from Father Hippocrates, we deliver the alleged above, we sweat, disputing & seeking not if the face of the doctor, sad, tetric, reuberant, Catonian, unpleasant, unhappy, severe, reluctant, saddens the patient: & of the doctor the cheerful face, serene, gracious, open, pleasing resiouist the patient. This is all tried and very certain. But if such contristations & shocks come from the apprehension of the patient contemplating these qualities in his doctor, & through them coniecting the issue & catastrophe of his illness to follow: knowledge is joyful and desired by the joyous ones, annoying & abhorrent by the unfortunate ones. Or by transfusion of the serene or tenebrous esperitz: airy or earthly, joyous or melancholic of the physician in the person of the patient.
Above all, the aforesaid authors have given particular notice to the physician of the words, proposals, talks, and confabulations that he must hold with the patients, on the part of whom would be called. Which all must have a goal to draw from, and tend to an end, it is to resound it without offending God, and not to sadden it in any way whatever. How greatly is blasé by Herophilus Callianax medicin, who to a patient interrogating him & asking, ie mourray? impudently replied.

And Patroclus to death succumbed well:
Who was more than a good man.

To another want to hear the state of his illness, and questioning him in the fashion of the noble Patelin.

And my urine
Does she tell you that I die?

He madly answered. No. If you had Latona mother of beautiful children Phoebus, & Diane, begotten. Similarly is from Cl. Galen lib. 4. how. in 6. Epidemi. Quintus greatly vituperated his praeceptor in medicine, who to certain patient in Rome, honorable man, saying to him: you have missed our master, your breath smells of wine to me: arrogantly replied. Yours smells like fever to me: which is the more delicious scent and smell, fever or wine?
But the calumny of certain Canibales, misanthropes, agelastes, had been so atrocious and unreasonable against me, that it had overcome my patience: and I no longer deliberately wrote an Iota. For one of the least contumelies which they used was that such books were all stuffed with various heresies: not one of them could at all times exhibit it in right any one: joyous folastries out of the offense of God, & of the King , prou (it is the unique subject & theme of these books) of point heresies: if not perversely & against all use of reason & common language, I would like to have thought: as who bread, interpreted stone: fish, snake: egg, scorpion. Of which, sometimes complaining to me in your presence, I tell you freely, that if better Christian I do not esteem me, that they show me to be in their part: and that if in my life, write, words, even certainly thoughts, I recognize no heresy, they would fall so detestably into the lakes of the Calumniating spirit, it is  who by their ministry arouses such a crime in me. For me, following the example of the Phoenix, would be the dry wood heaped up, and the fire kindled, to burn me in it. it is  who by their ministry arouses such a crime in me. For me, following the example of the Phoenix, would be the dry wood heaped up, and the fire kindled, to burn me in it. it is  who by their ministry arouses such a crime in me. For me, following the example of the Phoenix, would be the dry wood heaped up, and the fire kindled, to burn me in it.
Then dictate to me that such calumnies had been the deceased King François of eternity memory, adverty: & curiously able by the voice & pronunciation of the most learned & faithful Anagnost of this kingdom heard & heard distinct reading of these books of mine (ie the Diz, for what maliciously supposed me to have any false & infamous ones) had not found any suspicious passages. And had held in horror some eater of serpents, who melted deadly haeresis on an N misplaced for an M by the fault and negligence of the printers. Also had his son, our so good, so virtuous, & heavenly benist roy Henry: whom God sees us preserve for a long time, so that for me he had granted you privilege & particular protection against the slanderers:
This is the cause, Monsignor, why presently, without any intimidation, I put the pen in the wind: hoping that by your benign favor will make me against the slanderers like a second Hercules Gaulloys, in knowledge, prudence, and eloquence: Alexicacos, in virtue, power, & authority, of which truly I can say what of Moses the great prophet & captain in Israel says the wise king Solomon Ecclesiastici 45. God-fearing & God-loving man: pleasing to all humans: of God & men beloved: whose happy memory is. God in praise compared him to the Valiants: made him great in terror of the enemies. In his favor he did prodigious and hopeless things: In the presence of Kings he honored him, To the people by him his will declared, and by him his light showed, He has it in faith & consecrated goodness, & esleu among all humans. Through him wanted to be his voice heard, and to those who were in darkness be the law of vivifical science announced.
In addition promising you, that those who by me will meet congratulatory of these ioeulx written, all ia adiureray, to know you total gratitude: only to thank you, & to pray our lord for conservation & increase of this your greatness. To me, most humble submission and voluntary obedience, attribute nothing to your good commandments. For by your so honorable exhortation, you have given me courage and invention: and without you my heart was failing, and the fountain of my animal spirits remained dried up. Our lord keeps you in his holy grace. From Paris this January 28, 1552.

Your very humble & very obedient
French servant. Rabelais medicin.


Author's prologue
Mr FRANCOIS RABELAIS
for the fourth book
Heroic deeds & sayings
of Pantagruel.

To voluntary readers.

Good people, God save you and keep you. Where are you? I can't see you. Wait till I put on my glasses. Ha ha. Bien & beau goes Quaresme, I see you. And therefore? Did you have a good wine? what I was told. I wouldn't be in a married room. You have found a remedy infallible against all alterations? It is virtuously operated. You, your wives, children, parents, & families are in desired health. It's going well, it's good: I like it. God, the good God, be eternally praised for it: & (if such is his sacred will) be kept there for a long time. As far as I am concerned, by his holy benignity I am there, and recommend myself. I am, although a bit of Pantagruelism (you hear that it is a certain gayety of spirit confict in contempt of fortuitous things) healthy & disgusted: ready to drink, if you want. You ask me why, good people? Irrefutable response. Such is the will of the very good, very great God: whom I acquiesce: to whom I obey: whose sacrosanct I revere the word of good news, it is the Gospel, who is said to be Luke. 4 in horrible sarcasm & bloody derision to the negligent doctor of his own health. Medicin O, gueriz toymesmes.
Cl. Gal. not for such reverence in health was maintained, whatever some feeling he had of the sacred Bibles: & would have known & frequented the holy Christians of his time, as appears lib. II de usu partium, lib. 2 de differentiis pulsuum cap. 3 & ibidem lib. 3. cap. 2 & lib. de rerum affectibus (if he is from Galen) but for fear of falling into this vulgar & satirical mockery:

,
Medicin is another in effect:
However, ulcers are all infected.

In such a way that in great bravery he sells himself, and does not want to be an esteemed physician, if from the year of his twenty and eighth age until in his high old age he has not lived in complete health, except for a few ephemeral fevers of a few years. duration: although naturally he was not the healthiest, & his stomach was obviously discrased. For (says he libr. 5. de sanit. tuenda) it will be difficult for the doctor to be believed to have taken care of the health of another, who of his own is negligent. Still more bravely boasted Asclepiades, a physician, to have agreed with Fortune in this paction, that a reputable physician was not, however ill, had been from the time he began to practice the art, until his last old age. To which whole he attained & vigorous in all his limbs & Fortune triumphant.
If by some disaster the health of your lordships has been emancipated: somewhere, above below, before behind, right to left, inside outside, far or near your territories, may it be you immediately with the help of the Benedict Server meet. In good time to meet you, immediately either by you asserted, or by you sold, or by you seized & emancipated. The laws permit it: the King hears it: ie advises you. No longer unless the ancient Legislators authorized the lord to sell his fugitive serf, the part he would find. Ly bon Dieu, & ly bons homs, is it not written & practiced by the ancient customs of this so noble, so ancient, so beautiful, so flourishing, so rich kingdom of France, that the dead seize the living? See what the good, the learned, the wise, the so human, so good-natured, & equitable And has recently exposed. Tiraqueau, counselor to the great, victorious, & triumphant King Henry second of that name, in his very redoubted court of parliament in Paris. Health is our life, as Ariphron Sicyonian very well declares. Without health there is life, life is livable, ,  . Without health, life is only languor: life is only a simulacrum of death. Thus, when you are deprived of health, that is to say dead, take hold of the living: take hold of your life, it is health. in his very redoubted court of parliament in Paris. Health is our life, as Ariphron Sicyonian very well declares. Without health there is life, life is livable, ,  . Without health, life is only languor: life is only a simulacrum of death. Thus, when you are deprived of health, that is to say dead, take hold of the living: take hold of your life, it is health. in his very redoubted court of parliament in Paris. Health is our life, as Ariphron Sicyonian very well declares. Without health there is life, life is livable, ,  . Without health, life is only languor: life is only a simulacrum of death. Thus, when you are deprived of health, that is to say dead, take hold of the living: take hold of your life, it is health.
I have hope in God that he will hear our prayers, seeing the firm faith in which we make them: & will accomplish this our prayer, seeing that it is mediocre. Mediocrity has been by ancient sages dictated by aurae, that is to say precious, praised by all, in all pleasant places. Discourse through the sacred Bibles: you will find that of those the prayers have never been refused, which have mediocrity required. Example on small Zacchaeus, of which the Musaphiz of S. Ayl near Orleans claim to have the body & relics, & name him saint Sylvain. He wished, nothing more, to see our blessed Servant around Hierusalem. It was a mediocre thing and exposed to everyone. But it was too small, and among the people could not. He stamps, he trots, he strives, he swerves, he rides on a Sycamore. The very good God knows his synergy and mediocre affectation. Presented himself to his sight: & was not only seen by him, but besides this was heard, visited his house, & blessed his family.
To a son of a prophet in Israel splitting wood near the river Iordan, the iron of his ax escaped (as is scripture 4. Reg. 6.) & fell into the river. He prayed to God to give him back. It was a mediocre thing. And in firm faith & trust iecta not the bite after the handle, as in scandalous soloecism sing the Censorin devils: but the handle after the bite, as you properly dictate. Suddenly two miracles appeared. The iron rose from the depths of the water, & fitted itself to the handle. If he had wished to ascend to the heavens in a blazing chariot, like Helie: to multiply in line, like Abraham, to be as rich as Iob, as strong as Sanson, as handsome as Absalon: would he have impenetrated him? It's a question.
About mediocre subhaictz in the matter of acorn (advise when it will be time to drink) I will tell you what is written among the apologues of the sage Aesop the Frenchman. I mean Phrygian & Troian, as Max asserts. Planudes: whose people according to the most veridicques chroniclers, are the noble François descendants. Aelian writes that he was Thracian: Agathias after Herodotus, that he was Samian. It is all one to me.
In his time there was a poor villager, a native of Gravot, named Couillatris, a beater & splitter of boys, & in his low state guainant chugging his poor life. It happened that he lost his corner. Who was very angry & married it was he. For on his coinage depended his wealth and his life: by his coinage lived in honor and reputation among all rich buschers: without a coinage died of hunger. Death six days later, meeting him without a single bite, with his tail having cut him off and surrounded him from this world. In cestuy estrif began to shout, to pray, to implore, to invoke Iuppiter with very eloquent prayers (as you know that Necessity was the inventor of Eloquence) raising her face to the heavens, her knees on the ground, her head bare, her arms raised in l in the air, the fingers of the hands scratch,
My pinch Iuppiter, my pinch. Nothing more, O Iuppiter, than my coinnée, or denarii to buy another. Alas, my poor bitch.
Iuppiter took counsel on certain urgent matters: & then opined old Cybelle, or young & light Phoebus, if you will. But so great was the exclamation of Couillatris, that it was with great terror heard the full council and consistory of the gods.
What devil (asked Iuppiter) is there, screaming so horribly? Vertuz de Styx, haven't we been here before, haven't we here enough to prevent the decision of so many controversial and important matters. We saw the debate of Presthan king of the Persians, & of Sultan Solyman emperor of Constantinople. We have closed the passage between the Tartars and the Muscovites. We responded to Cheriph's request. Also we have no' to the devotion of Guolgotz Rays. The state of Parma is expedited: also is that of Maydenbourg, of Mirandola, and of Africa. So call the mortals what in the Mediterranean sea we called Aphrodisium. Tripoli has changed masters, by male guard. Her period had come. Here are the renian Guascons, and asking for the restoration of their bells. In this corner are the Saxons, Estrelins, Ostrogoths, & Alemans, people once invincible, now aberkeids, & suffered by a crippled little man. They ask us for revenge, help, restoration of their first good sense, & ancient freedom. But what will we do with this Rameau and this Galland, who capparison with their scullions, suppous, and astipulators confuse all this Academy of Paris? I am in great perplexity. And haven't yet decided which side I should incline to. To' deux seem to me otherwise good companions, & very couilluz. One has escuz au Soleil, ie diz beaulx & tresbuchans: the other would really like to have some. One has some knowledge: the other is ignorant. One likes good people: the other is good people. One is a thin & cauld Fox: the other slander, write & bark at the ancient Philosophers & Orators like a dog. What do you think of ten great Vietdaze Priapus? I have repeatedly found your fair & relevant advice & advice: & habet tua mentula mentem.
Roy Iuppiter (answered Priapus, unflashing his capussion, his head raised, red, flamboyant, & assured) then that one compares you to a barking dog, the other to a delicate Fox, I am of the opinion, that without more you get angry, don't alter, on the other hand, face what you once did with a dog, and a fox.
What? asked Iuppiter. When? Who were they? Where was this?
O beautiful memory, replied Priapus. This venerable father Bacchus, who you see with a crimson face, had a fairy fox to avenge himself on the Thebans, so that whatever harm and damage he did, as a beast in the world, would not be offended. This noble Vulcan had from Aerain Monesian made a dog, and by dint of blowing had made it alive and animated. He gave it to you: you give it to Europe your darling. She gave it to Minos: Minos to Procris, Procris finally gave it to Cephalus. He was likewise a fairy, so that, following the example of the advocats of today, he would take any beast he encountered, nothing would escape him. It happened that they met. What did they do? The dog by his fatal destiny must take the Fox: the Fox by his destiny must not be taken. The case was reported to your counsel. You protest not contravene the Fates. Destinies were contradictory. The truth, the end, the effect of two contradictions together was made impossible in nature. You suaste d'ahan. From your sweat falling to the ground the cabbage heads were born. All this noble consistory by default of Categorical resolution incurred marvelous alteration: & was in iceluy council beu more than seventy & eight buffars of Nectar. By my advice you turn them into stones. Suddenly there were bursts out of all perplexity: suddenly there were bursts of thirst cried out by all this great Olympus. This was the year of soft balls, near Teumesse, between Thebes & Chalcide. By this example I am of the opinion that petrify these Dog & Fox. The Metamorphosis is unknown. Both bear the name of Pierre. And because according to the proverb of the Limosins, to make the mouth of an oven are three stones necessary, you will associate them with master Pierre du coingnet, by you iadis for my petrified causes. And will be in equilateral trine figure on the great temple of Paris, where in the middle of the Pervis posed these three dead stones in the office of extinguishing with the nose, as in the god of Fouquet, the candles, torches, tapers, candles, & lighted torches: which vives couillonically kindled the fire of faction, simulte, couillonnic sects & partiality between the ocious schoolboys. In perpetual memory, that these little stupid philauties, sooner before you, were condemned than condemned, I have said. you will associate them with master Pierre du coingnet, by you for my petrified causes. And will be in equilateral trine figure on the great temple of Paris, where in the middle of the Pervis posed these three dead stones in the office of extinguishing with the nose, as in the god of Fouquet, the candles, torches, tapers, candles, & lighted torches: which vives couillonically kindled the fire of faction, simulte, couillonnic sects & partiality between the ocious schoolboys. In perpetual memory, that these little stupid philauties, sooner before you, were condemned than condemned, I have said. you will associate them with master Pierre du coingnet, by you for my petrified causes. And will be in equilateral trine figure on the great temple of Paris, where in the middle of the Pervis posed these three dead stones in the office of extinguishing with the nose, as in the god of Fouquet, the candles, torches, tapers, candles, & lighted torches: which vives couillonically kindled the fire of faction, simulte, couillonnic sects & partiality between the ocious schoolboys. In perpetual memory, that these little stupid philauties, sooner before you, were condemned than condemned, I have said. where one places in the middle of the Pervis these three dead stones in the office of extinguishing with the nose, as in the place of Fouquet, the candles, torches, candles, candles, & light torches: which live couillonically lit the faction fire, simulte, couillonnic sects & partiality between the ocieux escholiers. In perpetual memory, that these little stupid philauties, sooner before you, were condemned than condemned, I have said. where one places in the middle of the Pervis these three dead stones in the office of extinguishing with the nose, as in the place of Fouquet, the candles, torches, candles, candles, & light torches: which live couillonically lit the faction fire, simulte, couillonnic sects & partiality between the ocieux escholiers. In perpetual memory, that these little stupid philauties, sooner before you, were condemned than condemned, I have said.
You favor them (dist Iuppiter) so that I see beautiful messer Priapus. So are not at all favorable. Because since they brood so much to perpetuate their name and memory, it would be their best being thus after their life in hard stones and converted marbles, to return to earth and rot. Here, behind towards this Tyrrhenian Sea & neighboring places of the Apennines, see what tragedies are excited by certain Pastophores. This fury will last its time, like the ovens of the Limosins: then will end: but not so soon. We will have a lot of pastime there. I see a drawback there. It's because we have a small ammunition of thunderbolts, since the time that you, other Condieux, through my private oultroy, have been throwing them without sparing, for your adventures in New Antioch. As since your example the gorgias, champions, who undertook to guard the fortress of Dindenaroys against all venens, consumed their ammunition by dint of shooting at the sparrows. Then they had no time to defend themselves: & valiantly gave way, and surrendered to the enemy, who there raises his siege, like all frenzied & desperate: & had no more urgent thought than his retreat. accompanied by short shame. Give the order, son Vulcan: wake your sleeping Cyclopes, Asteropes, Brontes, Arges, Polyphemus, Steropes, Pyracmon: put them to use: & make them drink as much. A fiery people must not spare wine. But let's get this criart over there. See Mercury who it is? & know that he asks. consumed their ammunition by dint of shooting sparrows. Then they had no time to defend themselves: & valiantly gave way, and surrendered to the enemy, who there raises his siege, like all frenzied & desperate: & had no more urgent thought than his retreat. accompanied by short shame. Give the order, son Vulcan: wake your sleeping Cyclopes, Asteropes, Brontes, Arges, Polyphemus, Steropes, Pyracmon: put them to use: & make them drink as much. A fiery people must not spare wine. But let's get this criart over there. See Mercury who it is? & know that he asks. consumed their ammunition by dint of shooting sparrows. Then they had no time to defend themselves: & valiantly gave way, and surrendered to the enemy, who there raises his siege, like all frenzied & desperate: & had no more urgent thought than his retreat. accompanied by short shame. Give the order, son Vulcan: wake your sleeping Cyclopes, Asteropes, Brontes, Arges, Polyphemus, Steropes, Pyracmon: put them to use: & make them drink as much. A fiery people must not spare wine. But let's get this criart over there. See Mercury who it is? & know that he asks. like all frenzied & desperate: & had no more urgent thought than his retirement accompanied by short shame. Give the order, son Vulcan: wake your sleeping Cyclopes, Asteropes, Brontes, Arges, Polyphemus, Steropes, Pyracmon: put them to use: & make them drink as much. A fiery people must not spare wine. But let's get this criart over there. See Mercury who it is? & know that he asks. like all frenzied & desperate: & had no more urgent thought than his retirement accompanied by short shame. Give the order, son Vulcan: wake your sleeping Cyclopes, Asteropes, Brontes, Arges, Polyphemus, Steropes, Pyracmon: put them to use: & make them drink as much. A fiery people must not spare wine. But let's get this criart over there. See Mercury who it is? & know that he asks.
Mercury looks through the trap door of the Heavens, through which what is said low on the ground they listen: & properly resembles a ship's escoutillon. Icaromenippe said she looks like a well. And it turns out that it's Couillatris, who asks for his lost coin: & reports it to the council.
Really (dist Iuppiter) we are well. We at this hour have no other facienda than to render lost corners? If it is necessary to return it to him. This is escripts es Destins, do you hear? as well as if she was worth the Duchy of Milan. In truth, his coinnée is in such a prize and esteem for him, that his Kingdom would be to a King. Cza, that, that this coinnée is returned. Let it be spoken of no more. Let us repress the difference between the clergy and the Taulpeterie of Landerousse. Where were we?
Priapus remained standing at the corner of the fireplace. They hear the report of Mercury, delivered with all courtesy & ioviale honnesteta. Roy Iuppiter, while by your ordinance & particular benefit I was guardian of the gardens in the ground, ie notay that this Coingnée diction is equivocal in several things. It signifies a certain instrument, by the service of which is split & cut boys. Also signifies (at least once signified) the well-pointed & often gimbretiletolletée female. And that every good companion called his guarse daughter of ioye, my Coingnée. For with what these tuy ferrement (it said exhibit his dodrental quinceouir) they grip their armlets so proudly & audaciously, that they remain exempt from an epidemic gap between the female sex: it is that from the lower abdomen they fell on their heels, by default such staples. And I remember (because I've mentulated, see ten memories, very beautiful, & big enough to fill a butter pot) having a day at the Tubilustre, you're happy with this good Vulcan in May, yes, once in a beautiful Iosquin bed of Prez, Ollzegan, Hobrethz, Agricola, Brumel, Camelin, Vigoris, de la Fage, Bruyer, Prioris, Seguin, De la Rue, Midy, Moulu, Mouton, Guascoigne, Loyset Compère, Penet, Fevin, Rouzée, Richardfort, Rousseau, Consilion , Constantio festi, Iacquet Bercan, singing melodiously.

Grand Thibault want to sleep
With his new wife,
Came to hide beautifully
A big mallet in the alley.
O my sweet amy (this she says)
What mallet do you see yourself grasping?
It's (says it) to better corner you.
Mallet? she said, no one is needed.
When fat Ian comes to me to need,
He only kicks me in the ass.

Nine Olympiads, & an intercalare year later (oh beautiful mentule, even ten ie, memory. Ie often soloizes in the symbolization & colliguance of these two motz) ie ouy Adrian Villart, Gombert, Ianequin, Arcadelt, Claudin, Certon, Manchicourt, Auxerre , Villiers, Sandrin, Sohier, Hesdin, Morales, Passereau, Maille, Maillart, Iacotin, Hurteur, Verdelot, Carpentras, Lheritier, Cadéac, Doublet, Vermont, Bouteiller, Lupi, Pagnier, Millet, Du mollin, Alaire, Marault, Morpain, Son-in-law, & other ioyeulx musicians in a secret garden under a beautiful feuillade around a rampart of flasks, hams, pasta, & various cutely singing coyphae quails.

If it is as well as wedge without handle
Useless, do not hustil without a fist.
So that one inside the other fits
Take that be a sleeve, and you will be cornered.

Ores would know what kind of coinnée this criart Couillatris is asking for.
At these words all the venerable Gods & Goddesses burst out laughing like a microcosm of flies. Vulcan with his iambic torte in feist for the love of his friend Troys or four beautiful little saulx in platform.
Cza, that, (said Iuppiter to Mercury) go down presently there, and cast the feet of Couillatris three wedges: his, another Or, & a third Argent massive, all of a quality. Having given him the option to choose, if he takes his and is happy with it, give him the other two. If he takes any other than his own, cut his head with his own. and henceforth thus done to these die-hard losers.
These finished words, Iupiter skirting his head like a monkey swallowing pills, feisting such a dreadful arrogance that all of great Olympus trembled.
Mercury with his pointed hat, his capeline, heels & caduceus throws himself through the trapdoor of the Heavens, splits the vuyde of the air, descends slightly into the ground: & throws the three corners at the feet of Couillatris: Puys dictates to him. You've screamed enough to drink. Your prayers are answered from Iuppiter. Look which of these troys is your corner, and win. Couillatris forgets the golden wedge: he looks at it: & finds it very sticky: then says it to Mercury.
Marmes is not mine, I don't want a grain of it.
So much for the coinnée d'argent: & dict: Non est ceste cy. I'm leaving you. Puys takes in hand the pinch of boys: he looks at the end of the handle: in icelluy recognizes his mark: & quivering joyfully, like a Fox who meets hens esguarées, & nodding with the tip of his nose dict.
Merdigues it was mine. If I want to leave her, I will sacrifice you a good & large pot of very fine milk covered with beautiful spawns on the Ides (it is the tenth day) of May.
Good man, tell Mercury, I leave it to you, take it. And for what you have opted for and desired mediocrity in matters of coinnée, by the sight of Iuppiter I give you these two others. You have enough to make yourself rich from now on. Be a good man.
Couillatris courteously thanks Mercury: reveres the great Iuppiter: his ancient coinage attaches to his leather belt: & girds himself with it on his ass, like Martin de Cambray. The other two more poignant he charges at his neck. So goes lounging through the country, making a good troigne among the paroecians and neighbors: & saying to them the little word of Patelin: ay ie? The next day, dressed in a white sequin, loads the two precious corners on his bear, travels to Chinon, an insignificant city, a noble city, an ancient city, your first sight in the world, according to the judgment and assertion of the most learned Masorethz. In Chinon he changes his silver coin into beautiful testons & other white coins: his golden coin, into beautiful Salutz, beautiful sheep with large wool, beautiful Riddes, beautiful Royaulx, beaulx escutz in the sun. He buys a lot of farmhouses, a lot of barns, a lot of censes, a lot of mas, a lot of bordes & bordineux, a lot of cassines: prez, vines, boys, arable land, pastis, ponds, mills, gardens, saulsayes: beef, cows, sheep, sheep, goats, truyes, piglets, donkeys, horses, hens, cocks, chappons, poulletz, geese, owls, ducks, ducks, & from the menu. And in a short time was the richest man in the country: see more than Maulevrier the boyish.
The outspoken and lay gentlemen of the neighborhood seeing this happy meeting of Couillatris, were much astonished: & felt in their minds the pity & commiseration, which previously had of poor Couillatris, in a changed envy of his so great & unexpected riches. So began to run, to inquire, to wonder, to inform by what means, in what place, on what day, at what hour, how, and on what account this great thesaur had happened to him. Understand that it was by having lost his bitch, Hey, hey, said they, did he hold only to the loss of a whit, that the rich would not burn? The means is easy, and the cost very small. And therefore such is the time praesent the revolution of the Heavens, the constellation of the Stars, and aspect of the Planets, whoever loses suddenly becomes rich. Heh, heh. Han, by God, cornered you will be lost, & don't mind it. So everyone lost their corners. To hell with one who remains cornered. There was no good mother's son who did not lose her corner. No longer was he beaten down, no longer was he torn between boys and country in this defect of corners. Again says the Aesopic Apologue, that certain small Ians plundered the men of low relief, who at Couillatris had the small meadow, & the small mill sold to be gourgiaser to the monster, advertiz that this thesaur was thus to him & by this means alone happened , sold their swords to buy wedges, in order to lose them: as the peasants did, & by this loss cover the mountain of Gold, & Silver. You would have properly said, that Romipètes were small sell theirs, borrow the aultruy to buy Mandatz from the heap of a newly created pope. And to shout, & to pray, & to lament & invoke Iuppiter. My corner of cza, my corner of beyond, my corner of ho. hey. hey. hey. Iuppiter my finger. The air all around resounded with the cries and howls of these losers of corners. Mercury was quick to bring them coins, each offering his lost coin, another Gold, and a third Silver. All chose the one that was gold, and collected it, thanking the great donor, Iuppiter. But the moment they lifted her from the earth bent and bent, Mercury cut off their heads, as was the edict of Iuppiter: And were tests cut the number equal & correspond to the lost corners. That's it. This is what happens to those who in simplicity desire and opt for mediocre things. Take the example of you other flatlanders, who dictate that for ten thousand francs of intrade you would not leave your soubhaitz. And henceforth do not speak thus impudently, as sometimes you have ay ouy wished. Pray to God that I now have one hundred and seventy eight million gold. Ho, how ie triumpheroys. Your male mules. What would a king, an emperor, an adventageous pope wish for? Also you see by experience, that having made such ultre soubhayts, only the tac & la clavelée happens to you: in the purse not mesh: any more than to the two belistrandiers sobhaiteux to the use of Paris. Of which one would have liked to have in beautiful escuz au Soleil as much as has been in Paris sold, sold, & bought, since to build it the first foundations were laid there until the present hour: the whole estimated at the rate, sale , & value of the dear year, which has passed in this lapse of time. In your opinion, was he disgusted? Did he eat sour plums without peeling? Did he have his teeth cut out? The other wanted the temple of our Lady full of sharp needles, from the pavement to the highest of the vaults: & to have as many escuz to the Sun, as it could enter in as many bags as we could couldre of all and one each needle, until all were punctured or punctured. It's underrated. What do you think? What happened? In the evening, each of them had mules on their heels, a little dunce on their chins, a bad cough on their lungs, catarrh on their stomachs, a big froncle on a cropion: and to hell with a loaf of bread to clear their teeth.
So hope for mediocrity, it will come to you, and even better, in this pendent laborers and laborers. Even but (say you) God would also have given me seventy-eight thousand, like the thirteenth part of a half. Because he is almighty. A million gold to him is as little as an obol. Hey, hey, hey. And from whom are you to learn thus to discourse & speak of the power & predestination of God, poor people? Peace. St, St, St. Humble yourselves before his sacred countenance, & recognize your imperfections.
It is Goutteux, on which I base my hope, and believe firmly, that (if it pleases the good God) you will obtain health, seeing that nothing more than health for the present asks. Wait a little longer, with half an ounce of patience. So do the Genevoys, when in the morning having inside their escritoires & cabinetz discoursed, propensated, & resolute, from whom & what celluy day they will be able to draw denares: & who by their tricks will be belined, corbined, deceived & refined, they come out in place, & greeting each other say, Sanita & guadain messer. They are not satisfied with health: they are abundant in guaing, even the escuz of Guadaigne. Which happens that they often don't get one another. Now in good health, cough a good shot, drink three, shake your ears,


How Pantagruel
went up to sea, to visit the Oracle
of the dive Bacbuc.
First chapter.

One me of June, on the day of the Vestal feasts: clean cell or what Brutus conquered Hespaigne, & subjugated the Hespaignolz, where also Crassus the avaricious was vanquished & defeated by the Parthians, Pantagruel take leave of the good Gargantua his father, praying (as in the primitive Church was praiseworthy custom among holy Christians) for the prosperous navigation of his son, & all his company, went to sea at the port of Thalasse, accompanied by Panurge, brother Ian of the entomeures, Epistemon, Gymnaste, Eusthenes, Rhizotome, Carpalim, & other servants & ancient domestics: together Xenomanes the great traveler & traverser of perilous paths, which some days before had arrived at the command of Panurge.Icelluy for certain & good causes had at Gargantua left & signed in his great & universal Hydrography the route that they would take visiting the oracle of the divine Bottle Bacbuc.
The number of the ships was such as you have exhibited there on a third pound, in cans of Triremes, Ramberges, Galleons, and Liburnicques in the same number: well equipped, well caulked, well equipped, with an abundance of Pantagruelions. The assembly of all officers, truchemens, pilotz, captains, nauchiers, fadrins, hespailliers, & sailors was in the Thalamège. Thus was named the great & mistress nauf of Pantagruel: having in stern for ensign half of silver well liz & polly: the other half was of gold enamelled with crimson color. How easy was to judge, that white & light were the colors of noble travellers: & that they went to get the word of the Bottle.
Above the stern of the second was raised high an antique lantern industriously made of sphengitide and specular stone: denoting that they would pass by Lanternoys. The third for divis had a beautiful & deep porcelain hanate. The fourth a potet d'or with two handles, as if it were an ancient urn. The fifth a brocq insignia of Emerald sperm. The sixth, a Bourrabaquin monastic, makes four metals together. The seventh a funnel of Ebony all requamé Or with work of Tauchie. The eighth, a very precious ivy tumbler beaten with gold Damascene. The ninth a sprig of fine obrized gold. The tenth a breusse of fragrant Aalloche (you call it boys of Aloes) porfilée d'or de Cypre à ouvraige d'Azemine. The eleventh a portouoire of gold done in the Mosaic. The twelfth barrault Or terny covered with a vignette of large Indicques pearls in Topiary work. In such a way that no one was so sad, angry, reluctant, or melancholic as he was, see there was Heraclitus the tearful, who did not enter into new joy, and of good ratte did not suffer, seeing this noble convoy of ships in their mottos: do not say that the travellers were all drinkers, good people: and do not judge in assured prognosis, that the journey both outward and return would be in perfect health and ailigre.
In the Thalamège, therefore, was the assembly of all. There Pantagruel gives them a brief and holy exhortation fully authorized of the proposals extracted from the holy scripture, on the argument of navigation. Which finished was loud and clear praying to God, hearing and hearing all the bourgeois and townspeople of Thalasse, who were on the mole hastened to see the embarkation.
After the prayer, the psalm of the holy king David was sung melodiously, which begins. When Israel came out of Aegypt. The psalm completed, the tables were laid on the deck, and the meats promptly brought. The Thalassians who similarly had the aforesaid pseaulm sung, made their houses bring food and wine. All drank to themselves. They all drink. This was the cause why no one of the assembly until by the navy gave up his throat, and had no disturbance of stomach or head. What inconvenience could not have been so easily obviated, drinking for a few days beforehand sea water, either pure, or mixed with wine, or using quince flesh, lemon peel, or sweet and sour pomegranate juices: or holding long diet:
Their often reiterated beuvettes, each withdrew to his ship: & in good time made sail to the rising Greek wind according to which the principal pilot named Iamet Brayer, had designated the route, & erected the Calamite of all the Compasses. For the advice of his, and of Xenomanes also, was, seeing that the oracle of the divine Bacbuc was near Catay in upper India, not to take the ordinary route of the Portugualoys: Les quelz passers sans la Cincture ardente, & le cape de Bonasperanza sus the Southern point of Africa, beyond the Aequinoctial, & lose sight of & Guyde of the Northern armpit, make enormous navigation. Ains follow as closely as possible the parallel of the said Indie: & gyrate around the icelluy pole by West: in such a way that people whirling under the North would have it in the same elevation as it is at the port of Olone, without approaching it any further, so as to enter and be detained in the icy sea. And following this canonical detour by the same parallel, had to dexter it towards the Levant, which in the department was to their sinister.
What theirs came to incredible profit. For without shipwreck, without danger, without loss of their people, in great serenity (except one day near the Isle of the Macraeons) made the voyage to Upper India in less than four months: which at least the Portuguese would do in three years, with a thousand annoyances, and innumerable dangers. And I am in this opinion, except better judgment, that such a route of Fortune was followed by the Indians, who sailed in Germany, and were honorably treated by the King of Sweden, while Q. Metellus Celer was proconsul in Gaulle: as described Horn. Nepos, Pom. Mela, & Pliny after them.


How Pantagruel
in the isle of Medamothi achapta
many nice things.
Chapter II.

In this day, and the two subsequent days, nothing else new appeared to them. Because other faiths had stopped this route. On the fourth discovered an island named Medamothi, beautiful to the eye & pleasant because of the large number of lighthouses & high marble towers, with which the whole circuit was adorned, which was no less large than Canada. Pantagruel, inquiring who was dominating, heard that it was King Philophanes, then absent for the marriage of his brother Philotheamon with the Infanta of the kingdom of Engys. Then went down to the harbor, contemplating, while the chormes of the shipwrecks were watering, various paintings, various tapestries, various animals, fish, birds, and other exotic and peregrine goods, which were in the aisle of the mole, & by the halls of the port. For it was the third day of the great and solemn fairs of the place: to which annually all the richest and most famous merchants of Africa and Asia convoked. Of which Brother Ian achapted two rare & precious paintings: in one of which was in vivid paint the face of an appellant: in the other was the portrait of a valet who seeks master, in all required qualities , gestures, posture, face, gaits, physiognomy, & affections: painted & invented by master Charles Charmois, painter of the king Megiste: & paid for them in Cinge currency.
Panurge bought a large painting painted & transumptated from the work formerly done with a needle by Philomela, exposing & representing her sister Progné, how her brother-in-law Tereux had deflowered her: & cut her tongue, so that such a crime would not decease. I swear to you by the handle of this fallot, that it was a glorious and marvelous painting. Do not think, I beg you, that it was the protrait of a man coupled on a girl. This is too stupid, & too heavy. The painting was much different, & more intelligible. You will be able to see it in Thelème at main guausche entrans en la haulte guallerie. Epistemon bought another, on which were vividly painted the Ideas of Plato, and the Atoms of Epicurus. Rhizotome bought another one, which was Echo according to the natural representation.
Pantagruel by Gymnast feist achapter the life and gestures of Achille in seventy and eighteen pieces of tapestry with high warps, four long, three fathoms wide, all of saye Phrygiene, requamé of gold and silver. And began the tapestry at the wedding of Peleus & Thetis, continuing the nativity of Achilles, his youth described by Stace Papinie: his gestures & feats of arms celebrated by Homer: his death & executions described by Ovid, & Quinte Calabrois: ending in the appearance of his shadow, & the sacrifice of Polyxena described by Euripides. Feist also achapter three beautiful & young Unicorns: a male chestnut tostade poi, & two females of dappled gray hair. Together a Tarande, sold to him by a Scythian from the region of Gelones.
Tarande is an animal as big as a young bull, bearing the head as is of a deer, slightly larger: with widely raked insignia horns: the feet forchuz: the hair as long as a great Bear: the skin slightly less hard, which a cuirass body. And said the Gelon little found among Scythia: because it changes color according to the variety of places in which it grazes and dwells. And represents the color of grasses, trees, shrubs, flowers, places, pastiz, rocks, generally of all things that he approaches. This is common to him with the Octopus, he is the Polyp: with the Thoes: with the Lycaons of India: with the Chameleon: who is a species of Lizart so admirable, that Democritus has made an entire book of his figure, anatomy , Virtues, & Property in Magic. If I have seen his color change not only at the approach of colored things, but of himself, according to the love and affections he had. As on a green carpet, I have certainly seen it green: but staying there for some time become yellow, blue, leathery, purple by success: in the way that you see the crest of guinea-cocks color according to their passions change. What above all I found in this admirable Tarande is, that not only his face and skin, but also all his hair took on such a color, what was the neighboring things. Near Panurge dressed in his homespun toga, his hair turned gray: near Pantagruel dressed in his scarlet mantle, his hair and skin turned red: near the pilot dressed in the fashion of the Isiaces of Anubis in Aegypt, his hair appeared all white. Which last two colors are denied to the Chameleon. When out of all pain and affections he was natural, the color of his hair was such that you see the ass of Meung.


How Pantagruel recceut letters
of his father Gargantua: & of
the strange way of knowing
very sudden news from countries
foreigners & distant.
Chapter III.

Pantagruel occupied in the purchase of these peregrine animals heard ten strokes of Verses & Faulconneaulx: together great & joyous acclamation of all the shipwrecked. Pantagruel turns towards the harbour, & sees that it is one of the Celoces of his father Gargantua, named the Celandine: because above the stern was in sculpture of Corinthian era a raised sea swallow. It is a fish as big as a Dar de Loyre, quite fleshy, without scales, having very long and wide cartilaginous aesles (which are hairless mice): by means of which I have often seen it fly a toy above the water. more than one arc. In Marseilles it is called Lendole. So was this vessel as light as a swallow, so that everything seemed more at sea to fly than to sail.
Pantagruel, after the graceful little hug and barretade, before opening the letters no other thing to hold on to Malicorne, asked him. Do you have the celestial messenger Gozal here? Yes, he replied. He is in this swaddled basket. It was a pigeon taken from the dovecote of Gargantua, nailing its young as the aforesaid Celoce departed. If unfavorable fortune had come to Pantagruel, there would be black ectz tied to his feet: but because everything had come to him for good & prosperity, having had him undressed, tied a strip of white tafeta to his feet: & without further delay at the time left him in full freedom of the air. Suddenly the pigeon flies away, hashing in incredible haste: as you know it is only the flight of Pigeons, when they have eggs or eggs, for the obstinate solicitude in him by nature asked to resort & help his youngsters. So that in less than two hours he crossed by air the long road, which the Celoce had with extreme diligence for three perfect days and three perfect nights, sailing by oars and by vels, and continuing wind to stern. And was seen entering the dovecote on his own nest of his little ones. So hear the valiant Gargantua, who wore the white bandage, remained in joy and security of the good part of his son. And was seen entering the dovecote on his own nest of his little ones. So hear the valiant Gargantua, who wore the white bandage, remained in joy and security of the good part of his son. And was seen entering the dovecote on his own nest of his little ones. So hear the valiant Gargantua, who wore the white bandage, remained in joy and security of the good part of his son.
Such was the custom of the noble Gargantua & Pantagruel, when knowing promptly wanted news of something very affected & vehemently desired: like the issue of some battle, both by sea and by land: the prinze or defense of some stronghold: the appearance of some differences of importance: the happy or unfortunate childbirth of some royne, or great lady: the death or convalescence of their friends & go sick: & so of others. They took the Gozal, and by post did it from hand to hand to the places to carry, the news of which they affected. The Gozal, wearing a black or white bandage, according to the occurrences and accidents, greeted them with thoughts on his return, traveling in an hour further by air, than thirty posts had been made on the ground in a natural day. It was to buy back & waste time. And believe as a probable thing, that through the dovecotes of their cassines, one finds above eggs or young, all the months and seasons of the year, the pigeons galore. Which is easy in mesnagerie, with Saltpetre in rock, and the sacred grass Vervaine.
Le Gozal lasché, Pantagruel reads the missives of his father Gargantyua, of which the tenor follows.
FILZ TRESCHER, the affection that the father naturally bears to his well-beloved son, is in my place so acute, by the esguard & reverence of the particular graces in you by divine election posed, that since your department has not once tollu me any other thoughts. Leaving me your heart that is unique & careful for that your embarkation has been of some accompanying mesh or fascination: As you know that to the good & synergistic love is fear perpetually annexed. And for what Hesiod says, of each thing the beginning is the half of the whole: & according to the common proverb, by putting it in the oven we make horned bread, I have for fear of such anxiety emptying my understanding, expressly despatched Malicorne: so that through him I may be sure of your bearing on the first days of your journey. For if it is prosperous, and as I wish it, it will be easy for me to predict, forecast, and judge the rest. I have covered it with some lovely books, which will be returned to you by the present bearer. You will read them when you want to refresh yourself with your best studies. The said bearer will tell you more fully any news of this court. The peace of the Eternal be with those toys. Salute Panurge, brother Ian, Epistemon, Xenomanes, Gymnast & other servants my good friends. From your paternal house, this thirteenth of Iuin. which will be returned to you by the present bearer. You will read them when you want to refresh yourself with your best studies. The said bearer will tell you more fully any news of this court. The peace of the Eternal be with those toys. Salute Panurge, brother Ian, Epistemon, Xenomanes, Gymnast & other servants my good friends. From your paternal house, this thirteenth of Iuin. which will be returned to you by the present bearer. You will read them when you want to refresh yourself with your best studies. The said bearer will tell you more fully any news of this court. The peace of the Eternal be with those toys. Salute Panurge, brother Ian, Epistemon, Xenomanes, Gymnast & other servants my good friends. From your paternal house, this thirteenth of Iuin.
YOUR FATHER AND
Amy Gargantua.


How Pantagruel writes to his father
Gargantua, & send him several
beautiful & rare things.
Chapter III.

After reading the above letters Pantagruel held several conversations with the squire Malicorne, and was with him for so long that Panurge interrupted him. And when will you boyre? When do we boy? When will the squire be boy? Isn't that lectured enough to boyre? Well said, replied Pantagruel. Have the collation erected in this next inn, from which hangs for a sign the image of a Satyr on horseback. This hanging for the dispatch of the squire, he wrote to Gargantua as follows.
Father very good, as with all accidents in this transitory life, no doubt, do not suspect, our senses and animal faculties suffer more enormous and impotent disturbances (see until often the soul is distraught from the body, although such sudden news was to contentment and soubhayt) that if had previously been propensate & prevent: thus greatly moved & disturbed me the unexpected arrival of your squire Malicorne. For I did not hope to see any of your servants, nor to hear any news from you before the end of this our journey. And easily acquiesced in the sweet recordation of your august maesty, written, indeed inculcated & engraved on the posterior ventricle of my brain: often vividly representing it to me in its own & naive face.
But since you have warned me by the benefit of your gracious letters, and by the credence of your squire, my spirits are recreated in news of your prosperity and health, together with all your royal house, was voluntary, first to praise the benevolent Servant: who by his divine goodness preserves you in this long term of perfect health: secondly to thank you eternally for this fervent and inveterate affection which your very humble son and useless servant bear to me. Once upon a time, a Roman named Furnius said to Caesar Augustus receiving grace and forgiveness from his father, who had followed the faction of Antonius. Today, doing me this good, you have reduced me to such ignominy, that I will be alive, dying, and reputed to be ungrateful by impotence of gravity. So I could say that the excess of your paternal affection places me in this anxiety and necessity, that it will be appropriate for me to live and die ungratefully. If not such a crime should be relieved by the sentence of the Stoics: which said three parties were to benefit. One of the giver, the other of the receiver, the third of the rewarder: and the receiver will very well reward the giver, when he willingly accepts the benefit, and retains it in perpetual remembrance. As on the contrary, the receiver would be the most ungrateful in the world, who would despise & forget the benefit. Being therefore oppressed by infinite obligations all procreated by your immense benignity, and impotent at the minimal part of reward, I will save myself at least from calumny, in that my mind will never have the memory of it abolished:
For the rest, I have this confidence in the commiseration and aid of our Lord, that of this our pilgrimage the end will correspond to the beginning: and the total will be in perfect health and aligress. I do not have to reduce to commentaries and ephemerides all the speech of our navigation: so that on our return you will read it veridically. I have here found a Tarande of Scythia, a strange and marvelous animal because of the variations of color in its skin and hair, according to the distinction of near things. You will take it for granted. It is as manageable & easy to feed as a lamb. I send you likewise three young Unicorns more domesticated and tamed than little kittens would be. I have conferred with the squire, & dictated how to deal with them. They do not graze in the ground, sticking their long horns on their foreheads. Force is that pasture they take the fruit trees, either in suitable rattles, or in hand, offering them herbs, sheaves, apples, peppers, barley, touzelle: brief all species of fruit & vegetables. I am amazed how our ancient writers call them so fierce, ferocious, & dangerous, & never vivid to have been seen. If it seems good to you, you will prove the contrary: & find that in them consists the greatest mignotize in the world, provided that they are not maliciously offended. Likewise sends you the life & gestures of Achilles in a very beautiful & industrious tapestry. Assuring you that the novelties of animals, & plants, of birds, of gems that may be found, & to recover in all our peregrination, all that I will carry you, having God our Lord whom I pray in his holy grace to preserve you. From Medamothi this fifteenth of Iuin. Panurge, Brother Ian, Epistemon, Xenomanes, Gymnast, Eusthenes, Rhizotome, Carpalim, after the devotee kisses your hand, greet you again in wear a hundredfold.
Your humble son & servant
Pantagruel.

While Pantagruel was writing the southern letters, Malicorne was feasted, saluted, and hugged twice. God knows how everything was going & how recommendations from all sides are in place. Pantagruel having completed his letters bancqueta with the squire. And gave him a large gold chain poisante huyct cens escuz, in which by the septenary links were large diamonds, rubies, emeralds, turquoises, unions, alternately enshrined. To each of his sailors gave five hundred escuz to the Sun: To Gargantua his father sent the Tarande covered with a satin cover brocaded with Gold: with which the tapestry contained the life & gestures of Achilles: & the three Unicorns caparisoned with frized gold cloth. Thus departed from Medamothi Malicorne to return to Gargantua, Pantagruel to continue his navigation. Which on the high seas feist read by Epistemon the books brought by the squire. Desquelz, because he found them joyful and pleasing, the transumpt will willingly give you, if you devoutly request it.


How Pantagruel met a
ship of returning travelers
of the Lantern country.
Chapter V.

On the fifth day when we began to turn the pole little by little, we moved away from the Aequinoctial of Couvrismes a merchant ship sailing towards us. Joy was not small so much from us, like merchants: from us hearing news from the navy, from them hearing news from the mainland. We joined with only their congeners that they were François Xantongeoys. Of which there was a new increase of aggravation, also had the whole assembly, even inquiring us of the state of the country, & death of the Lantern people: & we hear warning that at the end of the following July was the assignment of the general chapter of the Lanterns : & that if then we got there (how easy we were) we would see beautiful, honorable, & joyous company of the Lanterns: & that we made great appearances there, as if one had to linger deeply there. We were also told that without the great kingdom of Gebarim we would be honorably repceuz & treated by Roy Ohabé dominator of this land. Which & all his subjects alike speak the language of François Tourangeau.
While we were hearing this news, Panurge was debating with a merchant from Taillebourg, named Dindenault. The occasion for the debate was such. This Dindenault seeing Panurge without a fly with his spectacles attached to his cap, spoke of him to his companions. See there a beautiful medallion from Coqu. Panurge, because of his spectacles, had much clearer ears than usual. Donkeys hear this saying, asked the merchant. How the devil would be the cock, who am not yet married, as you are, if I can judge at your ill-graceful trunk?
Yes, really, answered the merchant, I follow him: & wouldn't want to be so for all the glasses in Europe: not for all the bezicles in Africa. For I have one of the most beautiful, most adventurous, most honest, most prudish married women in all the country of Xantonge: & with all due respect to others. I bring him from my trip a beautiful & one-thousand long branch of red Coural, for his estrenes. What do you care? What are you talking about? Who are you? Whose are you? O spectacle maker of the Antichrist, Answer if you are of God.
I ask you, said Panurge, if by consent and convenience of all the elements I have sacked you, so beautiful, so adventurous, so honest, so preude a woman, so fashionable as the king of God of the gardeners Priapus, who lives here in freedom, subjugation Foreclosed with attached flies, his body would remain in such a disaster that he would never come out of it, would stay there forever, if not for you to pull him with only your teeth, what would you do? Will you leave him there forever? or do you pull it with good teeth? Answer, O belinier of Mahumet, since you are of all the devils.
I will give you (answered the merchant) a blow with his sword on that auricle, and kill you like a ram.
This saying stripped his sword. But she clung to the scabbard. As you know that at sea all harnoys easily load rust, because of the excessive humidity, & nitrous. Panurge turns to Pantagruel for help. Brother Ian put his hand to his freshly molten bragmard, & had killed the merchant: he was only the skipper of the ship, & other passengers begged Pantagruel, not to cause a scandal in his vessel. From which was affixed all their difference: & touched hands together Panurge & the merchant: & drank to each other accordingly, as a sign of perfect reconciliation.


How the debate appeased Panurge
Merchant with Dindenault
one of his sheep.
Chapter VI.

This debate at all appeased Panurge said secretly to Epistemon & brother Ian. Retreat here a little to the side, & happily pass the time what you will see. It will be fine, if the chord does not break. Puys addressed himself to the merchant, and again drank to him a heap of good Lanternoys wine. The merchant begged him cheerfully, in all courtesy and honesty. This makes Panurge devoutly beg him to please sell one of his sheep.
The merchant answered him. Halas halas my friend, our neighbor how well you know how to trick poor people. Really you are a nice warm-hearted. O valiant sheep-buyer. Vraybis you carry the minoys not crumb of a buyer of sheep, but well of a couppeur of purses. Deu Colas, would it be good to carry a full purse with you in the tripperie on the thaw? Han, han, who does not know you, you would do well with yours. But see hau good people, how he size of the historiographer.
Patience (dist Panurge) But about special grace sell me one of your sheep. How much?
How (answered the merchant) do you hear it, our friend, my neighbor. They are sheep with great wool. Iason prints the Golden Fleece there. The order of the house of Bourguoigne in felt extract. Sheep from Levant, sheep from haulte futaye, sheep from haulte gresse.
Be it (said Panurge) But please sell me one, & for good reason & very promptly paying you in coinage of Ponant, of copse, & of low sandstone. How much?
Our neighbour, my friend (replied the merchant), listen to this a little from the other ear.
BANG. At your command.
The MARCH. Are you going to Lanternoys?
BANG. Even.
The MARK. See the world?
BANG. Even.
The MARK. Joyously?
BANG. Even.
The MARK. You believe this name Robin Sheep.
BANG. Please say.
The MARK. Without getting angry.
BANG. Ie hear it so.
The MARCH. You are this believer, the King's jewel.
BANG. Even.
The MA. Fork there. Ha. Ha. you are going to see the world, you are the king's ioyeulx, your name is Robin sheep. Look at that sheep there, his name is Robin like you. Robin, Robin, Robin, Bes, Bes, Bes, Bes. Oh the beautiful voice.
PA. Very beautiful & harmonious.
The MARCH. Here is a pact, which will be between you & me, our neighbor & amy. You who are Robin sheep will be in this balance cut, mine Robin sheep will be in the other: the guaige a hundred oysters of Busch, that in pitch, in value, in estimate it will carry you high & short: in similar form you will be suspended and hanged some day.
Patience (dist Panurge) But you would do a lot for me & for your posterity, if you didn't want to sell it, or some other low-hearted one. I beg you sir sir.
Our friend (replied the Merchant), my neighbour, from the fleece of these sheep will be made the fine sheets of Rouen, the louschetz of the balls of Limestre, in the grip of her are but stuffing. From the skin will be made the beautiful moroccos: which will be sold for moroccos from Turquins or from Montelimart, or from Hespaigne for the worse. From the casings, we will make strings of violins and harps, which we will sell so dearly, as if they were strings of Munich or Aquileia. What do you think?
Please (dist Panurge) sell me one, I'll be very much bound to the courrail of your huys. See cy happy money. How much? This said, showing his esquarcelle full of new Henricus.


Continuation of the market between
Panurge & Dindenault.
Chapter VII.

My friend (replied the merchant) our neighbor is only meat for Roys & Princes. The flesh is so delicate, so savory, and so fond that it is base. I bring them from a country where swine (God be with us) eat only Myrobalans. The sows in their labor (save the honor of the whole company) are only fed orange blossoms.
But (dist Panurge) sell me one, & ie you'll pay for it in Roy, foy de pied. How much?
Our friend (answered the merchant) my neighbor, they are sheep taken from the own race of celluy who carried Phrixus & Helle, by the sea dictates Hellesponte.
Cancre (dist Panurge) vo' estez clericus vel adiscens.
Ita, are cabbage (answered the merchant) vere these are pourreaux. But rr. rrr. rrrr. Ho Robin rrrrrrrr. You don't hear this languaige. About. Through all the fields they piss, the wheat comes there as if God had pissed there. No other marl, no manure, is needed. More there is. From their urine the Quintessentials draw the best saltpeter in the world. From their droppings (but don't mind) the doctors of our countries cure seventy-eight kinds of disease. The least of which is the evil Saint Eutropius of Xaintes, from which God saves and guards us. What do you think our neighbor, my friend? Also it cost me good.
Cost & worth (replied Panurge) Only sell me one that pays well.
Our friend (said the merchant) my neighbor consider a little the wonders of nature consisting of these animals that you see, even of a member that you would consider useless. Take these horns from me, and crush them a little with an iron pestle, or with a landier, it's all one to me. Then bury them in view of the Sun as much as you want & often bury them. In a few months you will see the best Asparagus in the world born from it. I wouldn't deign to except those of Ravenna. Go tell me that the horns of you other gentlemen cocks have such virtues, and such marvelous properties.
Patience (answered Panurge).
Ie ne sçay (tell the merchant) if you are a clerk. I've seen prou clerks, ie ten great clerks, cockz. Yes dea. By the way, if you were a cleric, you would know that the lower limbs of these divine animals are the feet, there is a bone, it is the heel, the astragalus, if you will, of which no other animal of the world, from the Indian asne, and from the Dorcades of Libya, tales were once enjoyed at the Royal Church, to which the Emperor Octavian Augustus one evening guaigned more than 50,000 escuz. You other rogues are careful not to pretend that much.
Patience, answered Panurge. But let's expedite.
And when (said the merchant) you will have ie our friend my neighbor, worthily praised the internal members? The shoulder, the esclanges, the gigotzs, the hault cousté, the poictrine, the faye, the ratelle, the trippes, the guogue, the vessye, which one plays with the ball. The coustelettes of which one makes in Pygmion the beautiful little arcs to shoot cherry pits against the Cranes. The test of which with a little sulfur we make a marvelous decoction to make meat dogs consist of the belly?
Bren bren (dist the boss of the nauf to the merchant) it's too icy barguigné. Sell ​​him if you want. If you don't want to: don't amuse him anymore.
I want it (replied the merchant) for the love of you. But he will pay three quid tournament pounds for picking.
That's a lot, said Panurge. In our countries I would have five, or even six, for such a sum of money. Advise that it is not too much. You are not the first of my acquaintance, who all too often want to become rich & achieve, has fallen into poverty upside down: even sometimes has broken his neck.
Your strong quartan fevers (said the merchant) clumsy fool that you are. By the worthy widow of Charrous, the least of these sheep is worth four times more than the best of those which formerly the Coraxians in Tuditania, in the region of Hespaigne, sold a talent of gold a piece. And what do you think O fool of the big pay, what was a golden talent worth?
Benoist sir, said Panurge, you are warming up in your armor, so that I see and know. Well hold on, see your money there.
Panurge, having paid the merchant, chose from the whole herd a fine and large sheep, and carried it away crying and belling, hearing all the other bellans and together, and watching where their companion was being led.
This hangs the merchant telling his sheepherds. O that he knew how to choose the challenge. He understands the bawdy. Really, the really good one, ie reserved it for the lord of Cancale, as well knowing his naturalness. Because by nature he is all joyful and bluffy, when he holds a shoulder of mutton in his hand that is very becoming and adventurous, like a left-handed racket, and with a very sharp knife, God knows how he fencing.


How Panurge feist at sea drown
the merchant & his sheep.
Chapter VIII.

Suddenly, I do not know how, the case was sudden, I had no time to consider it. Panurge, without saying anything else, throws his screaming & belling sheep into the open sea. All the other sheep screaming & bellaning in the same intonation began to jerk & jump into the sea afterwards in a row. The crowd was whose first to jump after their companion. Possible was not to keep them from it. As you know to be the natural sheep, always follow the first, wherever he goes. Also the dict Aristoteles lib. 9. of history. animal. to be the most stupid & inept animating people in the world. The merchant, terrified at what before his eyes perished saw & drowned his sheep, endeavored to prevent them & retain all of his power. But it is all in vain. All in a row jumped into the sea, and perished. Finally he printed a large and strong one through the fleece on the ship's deck, thus trying to hold him back, and save the rest as consequently. The sheep was so powerful that it carried the merchant out to sea with it, & was drowned, in such form that the sheep of Plolyphemus the Cyclops bugle carried Ulyxes & his companions out of the cave. As much did the other shepherds and sheep keepers, some by the horns, others by the legs, others by the fleece. Which all were similarly carried at sea and drowned miserably. in such a form that the sheep of Plolyphemus le bogne Cyclops carried Ulyxes & his companions out of the cave. As much did the other shepherds and sheep keepers, some by the horns, others by the legs, others by the fleece. Which all were similarly carried at sea and drowned miserably. in such a form that the sheep of Plolyphemus le bogne Cyclops carried Ulyxes & his companions out of the cave. As much did the other shepherds and sheep keepers, some by the horns, others by the legs, others by the fleece. Which all were similarly carried at sea and drowned miserably.
Panurge with a coost of the fougon hold an oar in hand, not to help the sheepherds, but to enguard them to climb on the ship, & escape the shipwreck, preaches to them eloquently, as if he was a little brother Olivier Maillard, or a second brother Ian bourgeois, remonstrating to them in places of Rhetoricque the miseries of this world, the good and the happiness of the other life, confirming the happiest to be the dead, than the living in this valley of misery, and to each of them promising to erect a beautiful cenotaph, & honorary sepulchre at the highest point of Mont Cenis, on his return from Lanternoys: opting for them this nothing less, in case that living still among humans does not faschat them, & thus drowning does not come to them, good adventure, & encounter with some whale,which on the subsequent third day returned them safe and sound in some country of satin, after the example of Ionas.
The nauf seen from the merchant & from the sheep, Remains there here (dist Panurge) ulle lamb soul. Where are those of Thibault l'aignelet? And those of Regnauld Belin, who sleep when the others are grazing? I don't know anything about it. It's an old war trick. What do you think, brother Ian?
All good of you (responded brother Ian I did not find anything bad if not that it seems to me that thus as iadis one suffered in war on the day of battle, or assault, promise to the soubdars double pay for thatuy day: if they guignont the battle, we had enough to pay: if they lost it, it would have been a shame to ask for it, as the Gruyers fugitives did after the battle of Serizolles: also that in the end you had to reserve the payment. money you will die in the stock market.
It's (dist Panurge) good shit for the money. Virtues God I had a pastime worth more than fifty thousand francs. Let's retire, the wind is favorable. Brother Ian, watch here. No man ever gives me pleasure without reward, or recognition at the very least. I'm not ungrateful, and don't be, don't be. no man displeases me without repentance, either in this world or in the next. I am not fated until then.
You (said brother Ian) damn yourself like an old devil. It is written, Mihi vindictam, & cetera. Material of breviary.


How Pantagruel Came to the Isle
Ennasin & Strangers
country alliances.
Chapter IX.

Zephyre continued us in participation of a little Garbin, & had a day passed without land to discover. In the third day, at the dawn of the flies, a triangular island appeared to us, very much resembling in shape and attitude to Sicily. It was called the Isle of Alliances. The men & women resemble the red Poictevins, except that all men, women, & small children have the nose in the shape of an ace of clubs. For this reason the ancient name of the island was Ennasin. And were all related & went together, as they boasted, & freely told us the Podesta of the place.
You other people of the other world consider it an admirable thing, that of a Roman family (it was the Fabians) for a day (it was the thirteenth of the month of February) by a door (it was the Carmental door, iadis located at the foot of the Capitol, between the Tarpeian rock & the Tybre, since nicknamed Scelerate) against certain enemies of the Romans (these were the Veientes Hetrusques) came out three hundred and six men of war, all relatives, with five thousand other subdars, all their vassals: who were all slain, it was near the river Cremère, which issues from the Lac de Baccane. From this land for a need will come out more than three hundred thousand, all relatives and of one family.
Their kinship & alliances were very strange. Because being thus all relatives and allies of one another, we found that no one of them was father or mother, brother or sister, uncle or aunt, cousin or nephew, son-in-law or daughter, godfather or godmother of the another. Otherwise really a tall, stuffy old man who, like the veidz, called a little girl aged three or four, my father: the little girl called him my daughter. The kinship & alliance between them, was that one called a woman, my skinny: the woman called him my porpoise, Those there (said Brother Ian) must well feel their tide, when together they rub their bacon.
One called a bachelette gorgiasis with a smile. Good day my estrille. She greeted him again saying. Bon estreine my Fauveau.
Hay, hay, hay, exclaimed Panurge, come and see an estrille, a fau, and a calf, isn't this Estrille fauveau? This fawn with the black stripe must very often be striped.
Another greeted a cute siena saying. Goodbye my office. She answered him. And you too my trial.
By Saint Treignan (dist Gymnast) this lawsuit should often be heard at this office.
One called another my green. She called him her rascal.
There is, indeed, dist Eusthenes, du Verdcoquin.
Another greeted his ally saying. Bon di, my sweetheart. She answered. And you my sleeve.
Beef belly, exclaimed Carpalim, how this wedge is hafted. How this neck is cornered. But would this point be the long sleeve demanded by the Roman courtesans? Or a big-sleeved Corder.
Passing beyond the veids an averlant who, saluting his ally, called him my matraz, she called him my lodier. In fact, he had some traces of Lodier Loudault. One called another my sweetheart, she called it my crust. One another called her pall, she called him her van. One another called my savatte, she called him pantophle. One another called my botine, she called it her estivallet. One another named his mitten, she named my guand. One another called his couane, she called him her bacon. And between them was a kink of bacon. In such an alliance, one called hers my homelaicte, she called it my egg. And were gone like an egg homelaicte. Similarly, another called my tripe his own, she called him her faggot. And oncques cannot know what relationship, alliance, affinity, or consanguinity was between them, bringing it back to our common use, if not that we are told, that it was trippe of this fagot. Another greeting his said. Hello my stopover. She answered. And to you my oyster.
It is (dist Carpalim) an oyster on stopover.
Another of my friends greeted his saying. Good life my pod. She answered. Long to you my country.
It is (dist. Gymnast) a poy in a pod.
Another big Clacquedens villain mounted on high mules of boys meeting a big, fat, short, guarse him dist. God guard my hoof, my waterspout, my spinning top. She answered him proudly. Guard to guard my whip.
Holy Gray Blood, Dist Xenomanes, is he a competent whip, to lead this spinning top? A well-groomed & tested regent doctor having for some time parted with a tall lady, taking leave from her dist him. Great mercy Good looks. But, she said, very great to you. Bad god.
From good looks (dist Pantagruel) to bad god is no impertinent alliance.
A bacchelier en busche passing dist to a young bachelette. Hey, hey, hey. As long as you don't want Muse. I see you (answered she) Horn willingly.
Couple them (dist Panurge) & blow their ass. It will be a bagpipe.
Another called his own my sow, she called it her hay. There came to me in thought, that this sow willingly turns to this hay. Ie veidz a hunchbacked demy guallant somewhat close to us greeting her saying ally. Farewell my hole. She likewise greeted him again, saying. God save my ankle.
Brother Ian dist. She thinks she's all hole, & he likewise all pegs. Now it is necessary to know, if this hole by this ankle can be entirely suppressed.
Another greeted his saying. Goodbye my moult. She answered. Good day my bird.
I believe (dist Ponocrates) that cestuy oizon is often moulting.
An averrant chatting with what a young girl from Gualoise told him. You remember that. Also will be ped, she answered.
Call you (dist Pantagruel au Potestat) these two parens? I think they are enemies, not go together: for he called her Vesse. In our countries you could no longer insult a woman by calling her that.
Good people of the other world (answered the Potestate) you have few such relatives & so close, as are this Ped & this vesse. They both invisibly emerged from a hole together in an instant.
The Galerne wind (dist Panurge) had therefore blown their mother away.
What mother (dist the Potestate) do you hear? It is kinship of your world. They don't have father or mother. It is to do with people beyond the water, with people kicking hay.
The good Pantagruel saw and listened to everything: but at these remarks he thought he would lose countenance.
Having very curiously considered the plate of the island and the death of the Ennasé people, we entered a cabaret to refresh ourselves somewhat. There wedding parties were held in the fashion of the country. To the still dear & demye. We presume a happy marriage was made, of a very sprightly woman, as it seemed to us, however, those who had tasted her said she was flabby, with a young cheese with a slightly reddish crest. I had had them famous in other faiths, & elsewhere had been made several such marriages. It is still said in our country of cows that there was never such a marriage as pepper and cheese. In another room, I saw that they married an old boot with a young and supple boot. And was said to Pantagruel, that the young boot took the old woman's boot, because it was good in dress, in good shape, and fat to profit from the mess, you would see that for a fisherman. In another low room I saw a young scaffold marrying an old pantole. And we were told that it was not for the beauty or good grace of her, but out of avarice and covetousness to have the escuz with which she was quite counterpointed.


How Pantagruel descended into
the island of Cheli in which reigns
King Saint Panigon.
Chapter X.

The Garbin blew us in the rear, when leaving these evil pleasing Allianciers, with their noses like cloverleaves, soaring on the high seas. in which reigns King Saint Panigon. Who, accompanied by his children and princes of the court, traveled to near the harbor to receive Pantagruel. And led him as far as his castle, at the entrance to the dungeon the queen offered herself, accompanied by her daughters and ladies of court. Panigon wanted her & all her followers to kiss Pantagruel & his people. Such was the courtesy and custom of the country. Which was done, except for Brother Ian, who absented himself and wandered among the King's officers. Panigon wanted in any case for this day and the next day to retain Pantagruel. Pantagruel founded his excuse on the serenity of the weather, and the expediency of the wind, which is more often desired by travelers than encountered, and must be used when it occurs, for it never happens all the time that one expects it. At this remonstrance, after having boycotted twenty and five or thirty times per man, Panigon dismissed us. Pantagruel returning to port and not seeing Brother Ian, asked what part he was in, and why the company was not together. Panurge didn't know how to excuse him, & wanted to return to the chateau to call him, when Brother Ian ran up all joyful, & exclaimed in great cheerfulness of heart saying. Pantagruel founded his excuse on the serenity of the weather, and the expediency of the wind, which is more often desired by travelers than encountered, and must be used when it occurs, for it never happens all the time that one expects it. At this remonstrance, after having boycotted twenty and five or thirty times per man, Panigon dismissed us. Pantagruel returning to port and not seeing Brother Ian, asked what part he was in, and why the company was not together. Panurge didn't know how to excuse him, & wanted to return to the chateau to call him, when Brother Ian ran up all joyful, & exclaimed in great cheerfulness of heart saying. Pantagruel founded his excuse on the serenity of the weather, and the expediency of the wind, which is more often desired by travelers than encountered, and must be used when it occurs, for it never happens all the time that one expects it. At this remonstrance, after having boycotted twenty and five or thirty times per man, Panigon dismissed us. Pantagruel returning to port and not seeing Brother Ian, asked what part he was in, and why the company was not together. Panurge didn't know how to excuse him, & wanted to return to the chateau to call him, when Brother Ian ran up all joyful, & exclaimed in great cheerfulness of heart saying. for it does not happen all the times that one sustains it. At this remonstrance, after having boycotted twenty and five or thirty times per man, Panigon dismissed us. Pantagruel returning to port and not seeing Brother Ian, asked what part he was in, and why the company was not together. Panurge didn't know how to excuse him, & wanted to return to the chateau to call him, when Brother Ian ran up all joyful, & exclaimed in great cheerfulness of heart saying. for it does not happen all the times that one sustains it. At this remonstrance, after having boycotted twenty and five or thirty times per man, Panigon dismissed us. Pantagruel returning to port and not seeing Brother Ian, asked what part he was in, and why the company was not together. Panurge didn't know how to excuse him, & wanted to return to the chateau to call him, when Brother Ian ran up all joyful, & exclaimed in great cheerfulness of heart saying.
Long live noble Panigon. By the death of boys, he rushes into the kitchen. I'm coming, everything goes there by escuelles. I hope to cotton on it profitably & monachal use the mold of my gippon.
So my friend (dist Pantagruel) always at his kitchens.
Corpe de galline (responded Brother Ian) I know better the use and ceremonies than to quarrel so much with these women, magny, magna, chiabrena, reverence, double, resume, the accolade, the fressurade, kiss the hand of your mercy, of your maiesta, you be. Tarabin, tarabas. Bren, fuck Rouan. So much chiasser, & spin. Dea, I do not say that I did not draw some line from it on the dregs, to my clumsy: who let me insinuate my appointment. But this pottering of bows annoys me more than a young devil. I meant to say, a young double. Saint Benoist never lied about it. You speak of kissing damoiselles, by the worthy and sacred frock that I wear, gladly I take it away, fearing that what happens to the lord of Guyercharois will happen to me.
What? asked Pantagruel. I know him. He is one of my best friends.
He was, said Brother Ian, invited to a sumptuous & magnificent banquet, hosted by his relative & neighbour: to which were similarly invited all the gentlemen, ladies & damsels of the neighborhood. Those waiting for his coming, disguised the paiges of the assembly, and dressed them in very dapper and adorned ladies. The paiges in love with him, entering near the drawbridge, presented themselves, he kissed them all with great courtesy, and magnificent reverences. At the end, the ladies who were waiting for him in the galley burst out laughing, and made signs to the paiges, asking them to put on their finery. What seeing the good lord, out of shame & contempt did not deign to kiss these naive ladies & damsels. Alleging that they had thus disguised his paiges,
Virtues God, da iurandi, why do we no longer transport our humanity to the beautiful kitchen of God? And there are we not considering the shaking of the bells, the harmony of the counter-hastiers, the position of the bacon bits, the temperature of the soups, the preparations for the dessert, the order of the wine service? Beati immaculate in via. It is matter of breviary.


why the monks
are happy in the kitchen.
Chapter XI.

It says Epistemon, naively spoken as a monk. Ie diz monk monk, ie don't diz, monk monk. Truly you remind me of what I saw & heard in Florence about twenty years ago. We were very good company of studious people, lovers of peregrinity, & convoyous to visit the learned people, antiquity, & singularity of Italy. And then curiously contemplated the attitude & beauty of Florence, the structure of the dome, the sumptuousness of the temples, & magnificent palaces. And let us enter into contention, who would more aptly extoll them with condescending praises: when a monk from Amiens, named Bernard Lardon, as all angry and monopolized tells us.
I have contemplated it just as well as you, and am no longer blind than you. And then? Who is it? These are beautiful houses. That's all. But God, and Monsieur Saint Bernard, our good patron, be with us, in all this town, I have not yet seen a single sneer, and I have looked at it curiously and considered it. Even ie you say as spying, & ready to count & number both dexter and sinister how much & what cost the more we would encounter scorching scorches. Inside Amiens in less than four times, even three times, than we did in our contemplations, you could show more than fourteen ancient & aromatic scorches. I do not know what pleasure you took seeing the Lions, & Afriquans (so called you, it seems to me, what they call Tygres) near the belfry: similarly seeing the Porczespicz & Austruches on the palace of Lord Philippes Strossy. By faith our Aymerois fieulx better see a good & fat oyzon on a spit. These Porphyries, these marbles are beautiful. There's nothing wrong with that. But the Darioles d'Amiens are better in my opinion. These ancient statues are well made, I would like to believe. But by saint Ferreol d'Abbeville, the young bachelettes of our countries are a thousand times more adventurous. These ancient statues are well made, I would like to believe. But by saint Ferreol d'Abbeville, the young bachelettes of our countries are a thousand times more adventurous. These ancient statues are well made, I would like to believe. But by saint Ferreol d'Abbeville, the young bachelettes of our countries are a thousand times more adventurous.
What does it mean (asked Brother Ian) & what does it mean, that you always find monks in kitchens, never find Kings, Popes, or Emperors there?
Is it, answered Rhizotome, some latent virtues and abstruse specific property within the pots and counterhastiers, which attracts monks there, does not attract Emperors, Popes, Kings? Or is it an induction & natural inclination to adherent frocks & hoods, which in itself leads & drives good religious into the kitchen, even though they had no choice of deliberation to go there?
He means, replied Epistemon, forms following matter. So called them Averrois.
See, see, say brother Ian.
I will tell you, answered Pantagruel, without answering the proposed problem. Because it is a bit ticklish: & you would hardly touch it without worrying. I remember having read that Antigonus king of Macedonia one day entering the kitchen of his tents, and meeting there the poet Antagoras, who was frying a conger eel, and himself holding the straw, asked him in all mirth. Homer fricasso il Congress, when he described the prowess of Agamemnon? But, replied Antagoras, ha Roy do you think that Agamemnon, when performing such prowess, was curious to know if anyone in his camp fricassoed Congress? It seemed indecent to the Roy that the poet was making such a fricassee in his kitchen. The Poet reminds him that something too abhorrent was to meet the King in the kitchen.
Ie dameray ceste cy, dist Panurge, telling you what Breton Villandry answered one day to the lord duke of Guyse. Their report was of some battle of Roy François against the Emperor Charles V: in which Breton was heavily armed, even with greaves, & solleretz asserez, also mounted at the adventaige, had never been seen in combat. By my faith replied Breton, I have been there, it will be easy to prove it to me, see in a place where you would not have been able to find yourself. The lord duke taking this word badly, as too brave and recklessly uttered, and raising his voice, Breton easily in great laughter appeased him, saying, I was with the baguaige. In what place your honor would not have gone to conceal it, as I did.
In these menuz devis arrived in their ships. And longer stays in this island of Cheli.


How Pantagruel
passed power of attorney, & de l'estrange
way of life between
the Chiquanous.
Chapter XII.

Continuing our journey to the next day, passing by Procuration, which is a country all chaffoured and smeared. I don't know anything about it. There veismes Procultous & Chiquanous people with all the hair. They did not invite us to dinner. Only in a long multiplication of learned reverences did they say that they were all at our command by paying. One of our spokesmen told Pantagruel how these people tricked their lives in a very strange way: & in full Diameter contrary to the Romicoles. In Rome, endless people loot their lives by poisoning, beating, and killing. The Chiquanous force her to be beaten. In fashion that if for a long time they remained without being beaten, they would die of starvation, themselves, their wives and children.
It is, said Panurge, like those who by the report of Cl. Gal. cannot erect the cavernous nerve towards the equator if they are not whipped very well. By Saint Thibault, who would thus whip me, would make me, on the contrary, be dearsoned by all the devils.
The manner, say the intermediary, is such. When a monk, priest, usurer, or advocate wishes ill against some gentleman of his country, he sends towards him one of these Chiquanous. Chiquanous will quote him, adore him, insult him, insult him impudently, following his record & instruction: as long as the gentleman, if he is not paralyzed in sense, & more stupid than a Rane Gyrine, will be forced to give him beatings , & sword strokes on the head, or the beautiful arrest, or better throw him through the crenellations & windows of his chateau. That done, there you are, Chiquanous rich for four months. As if beatings were killing his naive harvests. For he will have a very good salary from the monk, from the usurer, or from the lawyer: & compensation for the gentleman never once so great & excessive,
Against such an inconvenience, said Panurge, I know a very good remedy, which the Lord of Basché used.
What? asked Pantagruel.
The lord of Basché said Panurge, was a courageous, virtuous, managny, chivalrous man. He returned from a certain long war, in which the Duke of Ferrara, with the help of the French, valiantly defended himself against the furies of Pope Julius the second, by each day he was adored, quoted, chewed, to the appetite and pastime of the fat prior of Saint Praising. A late day with his people (as he was human and debonair) sent for his baker named Loyre, and his wife, together the priest of his parish named Oudart, who acted as sommelier, as was then the custom in France, and their dist in the presence of his gentlemen & other servants. Children, you can see the fussiness in which these Chiquanous marauders direct me daily. I'm there resolved, that if you don't help me, I deliberate to abandon the country, and take the party of Soubdan to all the devils. From now on, when they come, be ready, Loyre and your wife, to represent yourselves in my great hall with your beautiful nuptial dresses, as if you were betrothed, and as if you were first betrothed. Hold. Here is a hundred gold escuz, which I am giving you, to maintain your fine acoustremens. You, Sir Oudart, must not appear there in your handsome supellis & estolle, with only the waters of the benefactor, as if to fight them. You likewise Trudon (thus was called his tabourineur) be there with your flute & tabour. The words dictated, & the bride kissed, to the sound of the tabour, you will all yawn to each other with the memory of the wedding, these are little punches. This pheasant you'll only supper better. But when it comes to Chiquanous, hit it like sus rye verde spare it. Tap, daub, hit, ie please. Hold now I give you these young guantelets of yust, covered with buckshot. Hit him endlessly through and through. Celluy who better daubera it, ie recognize for better affectionate. Don't worry about being taken to court, I will be sure of it for all. Such blows will be given with laughter, according to the custom observed in all engagements. Hit him endlessly through and through. Celluy who better daubera it, ie recognize for better affectionate. Don't worry about being taken to court, I will be sure of it for all. Such blows will be given with laughter, according to the custom observed in all engagements. Hit him endlessly through and through. Celluy who better daubera it, ie recognize for better affectionate. Don't worry about being taken to court, I will be sure of it for all. Such blows will be given with laughter, according to the custom observed in all engagements.
See, but, asked Oudart, what do we know about the Chiquanous? For in this house your house is daily crowded with people from all quarters. I gave the order, replied Basché. When at the door of this house comes some man either on foot, or rather badly mounted, having a large and wide silver ring on the pulse, he will be Chiquano'. The doorman having introduced him courteously will ring the campanelle. So be quick, & come in the dirty room to read the Tragic Comedy, which you exhibited there.
That very day, as God willed, came an old, fat, and red Chiquanous. Ringing the doorbell, he was recognized by the doorman by his fat and fat ouzeauls, by his wicked uiment, by a canvas bag full of information, attached to his belt: signifyingly to the big silver ring he had on his thumb. left. The doorman was courteous to him, introduced him honestly cheerfully: the campanelle rang. At the sound of icelle Loyre & his wife dressed in their beautiful clothes, appeared in the room doing a good arrogance. Oudart puts on supellis & estolle: coming out of his office meets Chiquanous: leads him boyre in his office for a long time, while we put on guanteletz of all costs: & dist him. You could not come at a more opportune hour. Our master is in good shape: sometimes we'll have good food: everything will go by bowls: we're here for weddings: hold on, drink, be happy. While Chiquanous was drinking Basché, seeing all his people in the required crew in the hall, asked for Oudart. Oudart comes carrying Beniste water. Chiquanous follows him. He entered the room, did not forget to make a number of humble bows, quoted Basché, Basché gave him the greatest caress in the world, gave him a cherub, asking him to attend the contract and engagement. What was done. By the end punches started coming out in place. But when it came to Chiquanous's turn, they feasted him with great blows of the guanteletz so well that he remained all stunned and bruised: an eye poached in black butter, eight necks creased, the wishbone sunken, the shoulder blades in four quarters, the lower jawbone in three loppins: & all while laughing. God knows how Oudart operated there, covering with the sleeve of his suppelis the big, assertive guantelet stuffed with ermines, for he was a powerful ribault. Thus returns to the island Bouchard Chiquano' dressed in the Tigresque style: very satisfied and happy with the lord of Basché, however: and with the help of the good surgeons of the country, lived as long as he wanted. Since then, it has not been spoken of. The memory expired with the sound of the bells, which rang out at his funeral. well however satisfied & happy with the lord of Basché: & with the help of the good surgeons of the country lived as long as you want. Since then, it has not been spoken of. The memory expired with the sound of the bells, which rang out at his funeral. well however satisfied & happy with the lord of Basché: & with the help of the good surgeons of the country lived as long as you want. Since then, it has not been spoken of. The memory expired with the sound of the bells, which rang out at his funeral.


How to master's example
François Villon the lord of Basché
praise its people.
Chapter XIII.

Chiquanous coming from the chateau, & reassembled on his orb esgue (thus he called his one-eyed man) Leaning under the trellis of his secret garden sent for his wife, his damsels, all his people: to bring snack wine associated with a number of pasta, hams, fruits, & cheeses, beut with them in great squalor: puys their dist.
Master François Villon in his old days retired to S. Maixent in Poictou, under the favor of a good man, abbot of the said place. There to give pastime to the people enterprint to express the passion in gestures & language Poictevin. The rolls distribute, the players pick up, the theater prepared, told the Mayor and aldermen, that the mystery could be ready at the end of the fairs of Niort: only remained to find clothes suitable for the characters. The Mayor & aldermen gave the order. He, for a peaceful old man who would worship God the Father, required Brother Etienne Tappecoue, secretary of the local Cordeliers, to provide him with a chape & estolle. Tappecoue refused, alleging that their provincial statutes strictly prohibited anything from yawning or performing for the Iouans. Villon replied that the statute only concerned pranks, mummeries, & ieuz dissoluz: & that thus he had seen him practice in Brussels & elsewhere. Listen to this non-obstant, peremptorily told him, that elsewhere, if he sees fit, nothing will be expected from his sacristy. Because nothing would be faultless. Villon made the report to the players with great abhorrence, advising that De Tappecoue God would avenge and exemplary punishment very soon.
At the subsequent Sabmedy Villon had notice that Tappecoue sus la poultre du convent (thus they call a building not yet covered) had gone in search of Saint Ligaire, and that he would be back two hours after noon. Thus the monster of devilry feist through the city and the market. His devils were all covered with skins of wolves, calves, and rams, trimmed with sheep's heads, ox horns, and large kitchen havetzes: surrounded by large straps from which hung large cymbals of cows, and bells of mullet with horrific noise. In their hands were held some black sticks full of fuzes, others carried long tizons kindled, on which at each crossroads were smothered full handfuls of powdered paraffin, from which fire and terrible smoke issued. Having led them thus with the satisfaction of the people and the great fright of the little children, finally led them to bench in a cassine outside the door in which is the path of Saint Ligaire. when we arrived at the cassine from afar, he saw Tappecoue, who was returning from his quest, and told them in Macaronic verse.

Hic est de patria, natus de gente belistra,
Qui solet antiquo bribas portare bisacco.

By diene death (so said the Devils) he did not want to offer God the father a poor cope: let us make him a slay. That's well said (responds Villon) But let's hide until he passes & load your rockets & aim. When he arrived at the place, everyone went out on the way ahead of him in great fright, with fire of all costing him and his poultry: ringing with their cymbals, and screaming like the Devil. Hho, hho, hho, hho: brrrrrrrrrs, rrrrrrrs, rrrrrrrs. Hou, hou, hou, Hho, Hho, hho: Brother Estienne, aren't we doing the Devils well?
The frightened hen starts trotting, petz, leaps, & gualot: kicks, fressurades, double pedals, & petarrades: as long as she kicks low Tappecoue, though he stood at the dawn of the bast with all of his strenght. His estrivières were in strings: from the corner outside the montouoir his sinister shoe was so much twisted that he could never pull it out. Thus was dragged to and fro by the hen always multiplying in kicks against him, & misled with fear by the hedges, bushes, & pits. In such a way that she grabbed his whole head, so that his brains fell near the Osanière cross, then his arms were in pieces, one that, the other there, the iambics of the same, then of the intestines feist a long carnaige , so that the poultre arriving at the convent, from him carried only the right foot,
Villon seeing happened what he had planned, said to his Devils. You will work well, Messieurs les Diables, you will work well, I will sit down. O how well you will work. Ie in spite of the devilry of Saulmur, of Doué, of Mommorillon, of Langès, of Saint Espain, of Angiers: even, by God, of Poictiers with their visiting room, in case they can be your pardon. O how well you will work.
Thus (dist Basché) foresee, my good friends, that you will henceforth play well this tragical farce: seen that at the first monster & attempt, by you Chiquanous was so diserously daubbed, tapped, & tickled. Presently I double all your guaiges to you. You grandma (he said to his wife) do your honors, as you wish. You have in your hands & keep all my thesaurs. Quant est de moi, first ie boy to you all my good friends. Now that, it is good & frays. Second, you innkeeper, take this basin of silver. I give it to you. You esquires take these two cups of gilded silver. Your three month pages will not be whipped. M'amye give them my beautiful white plumes with gold tassels. Sir Oudart ie gives you this silver bottle: this other place I give to the cooks: to the varletz de chambre I give this silver basket: to the grooms I give this gilded silver bowl: to the porters I give these two plates: to the muleteers, these ten hop soups. Trudon take all these silver spoons, and this bezel: You lackey take this big salt shaker. Serve me well my friends, ie the recongnoistray: firmly believing that I am better, by the virtue of God, to endure in war a hundred sledgehammers on the helm in the service of our so good King, than to be once quoted by these mastins Chiquanous , for the pastime of such a fat Prior. Trudon take all these silver spoons, and this bezel: You lackey take this big salt shaker. Serve me well my friends, ie the recongnoistray: firmly believing that I am better, by the virtue of God, to endure in war a hundred sledgehammers on the helm in the service of our so good King, than to be once quoted by these mastins Chiquanous , for the pastime of such a fat Prior. Trudon take all these silver spoons, and this bezel: You lackey take this big salt shaker. Serve me well my friends, ie the recongnoistray: firmly believing that I am better, by the virtue of God, to endure in war a hundred sledgehammers on the helm in the service of our so good King, than to be once quoted by these mastins Chiquanous , for the pastime of such a fat Prior.


Continuation of the Chiquanous daubbez
in the house of Basché.
Chapter XIII.

Four days later another young, tall, and thin Chiquanous went to quote Basché at the request of the fat Prior. On his arrival, the doorman suddenly recognized him, and the campanelle rang. At the sound of it all the people of the chateau heard the mystery. Loyre kneaded his dough, his wife tasted the flour. Oudart held his office, the gentilzhomes were at the paulme. The Lord Basché would go to the troys cens troys with his wife. The damsels would play at the stingy, the officers would play at the imperial, the paiges would play at the death with beautiful chinquenauldes. Suddenly everyone heard that Chiquanous was in the country. Then Oudart put on his clothes. Loyre & his wife take their fine acoustremens. Trudon sounding his flute, beating his tabourin, everyone laughing, everyone getting ready, & guantelets forward. Basché goes down in the short bass. There Chiquanous, meeting him, knelt down before him, begged him not to take any harm, if on the part of the fat Prior he quoted him: remonstrated by eloquent harangue how he was a public person, servant of Monkry, apparitor of the Abbatial miter: ready to do the same for him, see for the least of his house, the part he pleases to exploit and commend.
Truly, said the lord, you will not quote me, but first have drunk my good wine of Quinquenays, and have attended the weddings only once beforehand. Sir Oudart do the boyre very well, & freshen up: then bring him to my room. You are welcome.
Well-fed and watered, we walked in with Oudart in the room, in which all the characters of the farce were in order, and well deliberated. When he entered, everyone began to smile. Chiquanous laughed out of company, when by Oudart were heard the fiansez dictz motz mysterious, hands touched, the bride kissed, all sprinkled with eaue beniste. While we were bringing wine & spices, punches started trotting. Chiquanous gave a number of them to Oudart. Oudart, under his suppellis, had his guantelet hidden: he warms himself with it like a mitten. And to daub Chiquanous, & to drape Chiquano': & blows from the young guantelets of all cost to rain on Chiquano'.
Weddings, they said, weddings, weddings: you remember that.
He was so well dressed that the blood came out of his mouth, nose, ears, eyes. Still stiff, shouldered, & crumpled head, neck, back, chest, braz, & everything. Believe that in Avignon during Carnival time the high school graduates never played at La Raphe more melodiously than they had played at Chiquanous. Eventually he falls to the ground. They threw a lot of wine on his face, they tied him to the sleeve of his doublet, in a beautiful livery of iaulne and green: and the mist put on his snotty horse. Entering Isle Bouchard, I don't know if he was well thought out and treated so much by his wife, as by the Myres of the country. Since then, it has not been spoken of.
The next day such a thing happened, because one of the skinny Chiquanous' bags and saddlebags hadn't been found his exploit. From the fat Prieur was new Chiqua we sent to quote the Lord of Basché, with only two Records for his safety. The porter, ringing the campanelle, greeted the whole family, heard that Chiquanous was there. Basché was at table, having dinner with his wife and gentlemen. He asks for Chiquanous: he sits down near him: the records near the damsels, & dip very well & happily. After dessert Chiquanous gets up from the table: praesens & oyans the Records quotes Bahscé: Basché graciously asks him for a copy of his commission. she was there ready. He takes note of his feat: to Chiquanous & his Records were four escuz Soleil give: everyone retired for the farce. Trudon begins to sound the tabourin. Basché asks Chiquanous to attend the engagement of one of his officers, and to receive the contract, paying him well and contenting him. Chiquanous felt courteous. Desguainna his escritoire, got paper quickly, his Records close to him. Loyre enters the room through a door: his wife with the damsels by another, in nuptial acoustremen. Oudart, in a priestly robe, takes them by the hands: questions them about their wishes: gives them his blessing without sparing water. The contract is passed & timed. From one cost are brought wine & spices: from the other, delivered in a white & tanned pile, from the other are secretly produced guanteletz. Basché asks Chiquanous to attend the engagement of one of his officers, and to receive the contract, paying him well and contenting him. Chiquanous felt courteous. Desguainna his escritoire, got paper quickly, his Records close to him. Loyre enters the room through a door: his wife with the damsels by another, in nuptial acoustremen. Oudart, in a priestly robe, takes them by the hands: questions them about their wishes: gives them his blessing without sparing water. The contract is passed & timed. From one cost are brought wine & spices: from the other, delivered in a white & tanned pile, from the other are secretly produced guanteletz. Basché asks Chiquanous to attend the engagement of one of his officers, and to receive the contract, paying him well and contenting him. Chiquanous felt courteous. Desguainna his escritoire, got paper quickly, his Records close to him. Loyre enters the room through a door: his wife with the damsels by another, in nuptial acoustremen. Oudart, in a priestly robe, takes them by the hands: questions them about their wishes: gives them his blessing without sparing water. The contract is passed & timed. From one cost are brought wine & spices: from the other, delivered in a white & tanned pile, from the other are secretly produced guanteletz. his Records close to him. Loyre enters the room through a door: his wife with the damsels by another, in nuptial acoustremen. Oudart, in a priestly robe, takes them by the hands: questions them about their wishes: gives them his blessing without sparing water. The contract is passed & timed. From one cost are brought wine & spices: from the other, delivered in a white & tanned pile, from the other are produced secretly guanteletz. his Records close to him. Loyre enters the room through a door: his wife with the damsels by another, in nuptial acoustremen. Oudart, in a priestly robe, takes them by the hands: questions them about their wishes: gives them his blessing without sparing water. The contract is passed & timed. From one cost are brought wine & spices: from the other, delivered in a white & tanned pile, from the other are secretly produced guanteletz.


How by Chiquanous are
renewed the old ones
engagement costumes.
Chapter XV.

Chiqua we have gouged out a large cup of Breton wine, given to the lord. Sir how do you hear it? We don't yawn here for weddings? Sainsambreguoy all good customs are lost. Also there are no more hares at the giste. There are no more friends. See how in several ecclises the ancient beuvettes of the holy benoists OO, of Christmas have been dismantled. The world is just dreaming. It is nearing its end. But hold on. Weddings, weddings, weddings.
This saying struck on Basché & his wife, after on the damsels, & on Oudart: So that they guanteletz their feat, if at Chiquanous his head was broken in nine places: at one of the Records his right arm was sickled, at the other the upper mandible was twisted, so that it half-covered his chin, with only denudation of the uvula, and signal loss of the molar, masticatory, and canine teeth. To the sound of the tabourin changing its intonation, the Guantelez fell silent, without being at all noticed, & jams multiplied again, with new jubilation. Behaving the good companions one to the other, & all to Chiquanous & his Records, Oudart repudiated & despised the nuptials, alleging that one of the Records had disincornifistibulé him all the other shoulder. This non-obstant drank happily to him. The demolished Records clapped his hands, and tacitly asked him for forgiveness. For speaking cannot be said.
Loyre complained that the debraded Record had hit him so hard on the aultze coubté that he had become all esperruquancluzelubelouzerirelu with his heel.
But (said Trudon, hiding his left eye with only his handkerchief, and showing his battered tabourin with a neck) what harm have they done to them? It was not enough for them to have me so heavily morrambouzevezengouzequoquemorguatasacbacguevezine hurt my poor eye: abundantly they smashed my tabourin. Wedding tabourins are usually beaten: tabourineurs feast well, beat never. The Devil can handle it.
Brother (him dist Chiquanous one-armed) I will give you some beautiful, big, old Royal letters, which I have here in my harness, to repeat your tabourin: & for God forgive us. By our lady of Riviere, the beautiful lady, I didn't think anything bad about it.
One of the nabbing and boyting squires counterfeited the good and noble lord of La Roche Posay. He addressed himself to the records encumbered with machouères, & him dist. Are you Frapins, hitters, or Frappars? Wouldn't it be enough for you to have thus morcrocassebezassevezassegrigueliguoscopapopondrilled all the upper limbs with great blows of the boblins, without giving us such a morderegrippipiotabirofreluchamburelurecoquelurintimpanemens on the strikes with fine points of houzeaulx. Do you call that god of youth? By God, god is not this. The Records clasping his hands seemed to beg his pardon, muttering with his tongue, my, my, my, vrelon, von, von: like a kid.
The weeping new bride wept, laughing, wept, because Chiquanous had not contented himself with daubbing her without choosing the members: but having heavily disheveled her with plenty had trodden her manpenillorifrizonor broken the shameful parts in treason.
The devil (dist Basché) has been part of it. It was very necessary that Monsieur le Roy (thus they call themselves Chiquanous) thus daubbast me my good wife in a pinch. I don't blame him badly, however. These are little nuptial charesses. But I see clearly that he quoted me as an Angel, & dubbed as a Devil. He takes ie ne sçay quoy from Brother Frappart. Ie boy to him with a very good heart, & to you too gentlemen the Records.
But said his wife, on what account, and on what quarrel, did he feast on me so much and so much with great blows of his fist? The Devil wins, if he wants to. I do not want it however, my Dia. But I will say that of him, that he has the hardest anoints, that I once felt on my shoulders.
The innkeeper held his braz guausche in a sling, as if all morquaquoquassé: the Devil, he said, made me attend these nuptials. I have, by the virtues of God, all the braz gossip about it. Call yourself this engagement. Ie call them shitty engagements. It is, by God, the naive bench of the Lapiths, described by the philosopher Samosatoys. no longer spoke. The Records apologized, that in daubbing thus had had no malignant intention: & that for the love of God we pardoned them. So depart. Half a league away Chiquanous felt a little ill. The Records arrived at Isle Bouchard, publicly saying that they had never seen a better home than the Lord of Basché, a more honorable house than his. Together that never had been at such weddings. But all the fault came from them, who had begun the minting. And vesquirent still do not know quant days later. From there, it was held as a certain thing, that the money of Basché was more pestilent, mortal, and pernicious to Chiquanous & Records, than was formerly the gold of Tholose, & the horse Seian, to those who possessed it. . Depuys was the said Lord in repous, and the nuptials of Basché in common proverb.


How by brother Ian is done essay
of the naturalness of the Chicquanous.
Chapter XVI.

This narration, said Pantagruel, would seem joyful, if only before our eyes it was necessary for the fear of God to continually have.
Better, dist Epistemon, would be, if the rain of these young guantelets had fallen on the fat Prior. He depended for his hobby on money, going to annoy Basché, going to see his Chiquanous daubbez. Punches would have aptly surrounded his shaved head: awaited the enormous concussion that we see huy between these jigs pedaled under the elm. How did these poor Chiquanous Devils offend?
I remember, said Pantagruel, on this subject of an ancient Roman gentleman, named L. Neratius. He was of noble family & rich in his time. But in him was this tyrannical complexion, which coming from his palace he had the knee-bags of his varletz filled with gold and coined silver: and meeting in the streets some pretty braguars and better in point, without being in any way offended , out of cheerfulness of heart gave them big punches in the face. Suddenly afterwards, to appease them and prevent them from complaining in justice, they parted with his money. As long as he made them content and satisfied, according to the ordinance of a law of the twelve tables. Thus depended his income beating people to the taking of his money. By the holy boot of Saint Benoist, said Brother Ian, now I will know the truth. Adoncques goes down to earth, puts his hand in his purse, and draws out twenty escuz to the Sun. Puys said aloud in the presence & audience of a large crowd of the Chiquanourroys people. Who wants to win twenty gold escuz to be beaten like the Devil?
Io, io, io, all answered. You will throw us into a frenzy, sir: that's a joke. But there is beautiful guaing. And all ran up to the crowd, to see who would be first in date, to be beaten so preciously. Brother Ian of the whole troop chose a Chiquanous with a red muzzle: which one pushes with the dexter hand wore a big & wide silver ring: in the pale of which was enchased a very large Crapauldine.
Having chosen him, I saw that all these people murmured, & heard a great, young, & butgre Chiquanous, skilful & good cleric, & (as was the common rumor) honest home in court of ecclesia, be complaining & murmuring of what the rouge muzeau ousted them in all practicalities: & that if in all the territory there were only thirty baston blows to be won, he always bore twenty-eight & a half. But all complaints and murmurs proceeded only from envy. Brother Ian daubbed so much & trestant Rouge muzeau, bear & belly, arms & legs, tested & everything, with great blows of a baston, that the dead Cuydois was stunned. Puys gave him the twenty escuz. And my villain up, ayse like a Roy or two. The others told Brother Ian. Mr Brother Devil, please a few more fights for less money, we're all yours, mister devil. We're all yours, bags, papers, pens, & everything.
Rouge muzeau cried out against them, saying in a loud voice. Feston diene Guallefretiers, have you come to my market? Do you want to host & seduce my challans? Ie quotes you beforehand the Official at huyctaine Mirelaridaine. Ie you chiquaneray en Diable de Vauverd. Puys turning to Brother Ian, with a laughing & joyful face dist him. Reverend father in Devil Sir, if you found me good robe, & you still please by beating me to amuse you, ie I will be satisfied with half of iuste prize. Don't spare me please. I'm all up to you Mr. Devil: test, lung, gut, & everything. Ie tell it to you cheaply. Brother Ian interrupted his speech, & turned away elsewhere. The other Chiquanous retreat to Panurge, Epistemon, Gymnast, & others: the supplicants devotedly were by themselves at some little beaten price: otherwise they were in danger of praying for a very long time. But no one wanted to hear it.
After looking for fresh water for the chorme of the shipwrecks, I met two old Chiquanourres of the place: who together miserably wept and lamented. Pantagruel remained in his ship, and there sounded the retreat. We doubted that they were related to Chiquanous, who had been beaten, questioned the causes of such a complaint. They answered, that it was a very equitable cause to mourn, seeing that at the present hour the monk had been yawned at the gibbet by the neck to the two most worthy people, who were in all Chiquanourroys.
My Paiges, dist Gymnast, yawn the monk by the feet to their sleeping companions. To yawn the monk by the neck would be to hang and strangle the person.
See, see, said Brother Ian. You talk about it like Saint Ian de la Palisse.
Asked about the causes of this hanging, they answered that they had stolen the ferremens of the mass: & had put them under the handle of the paroece.
There you are, dist Epistemon, spoken in terrible Allegory.


How Pantagruel Passed the Isles
of Thohu & Bohu: & of the strange
death of swallower grouse
of windmills.
Chapter XVII.

That same day Pantagruel passed the two isles of Thohu & Bohu: they found nothing but fry. Bringuenarilles the great giant had all the paelles, paellons, cauldrons, coquasses, lichefretes, and pots of the swallowed country, for lack of windmills, of which he ordinarily delights. Which had happened, that shortly before the day at the time of his digestion he was in grievanceve illness fallen, by certain rawness of stomachh, caused by what (as the Physicians said) that the concocting virtues of his stomachh naturally apt to grind in the wind, all brandifz digested, had little perfection in consuming the paelles & coquasses: the cauldrons & pots had digested fairly well. As they said they knew about the hypostases and eneorems of four bussars of urine, which he had twice returned this morning.
To help him they used various remedies according to the art. But the evil was stronger than the remedies. And was the noble Bringuenarilles that late morning, in such a strange way, that you need not be surprised at the death of Aeschylus. Which, as he would have been fatally predicted by the vaticinators, that on a certain day he would die by ruin of something that would fall on him: iceluy, his destiny, was from the city, from all houses, trees, rocks, & other things far away, who can fall, and be harmed by their ruin. And he dwelt in the middle of a great meadow, being a trustee in the faith of the free and patent sky, in well-assured security, as it seemed to him. If not really that the sky is falling. What believed to be impossible. However, it is said that the Allouettes greatly fear the ruin of the skies. For the falling skies, all would be taken. Also the Celts neighboring the Rin once redoubted it: they are the noble, valiant, chivalrous, warlike, & triumphant Francis: whom questioned by Alexander the Great, what thing more in this world feared, hoping that he alone would be an exception, in contemplation of his great prowess, victories, conquests, & triumphs: replied nothing fear, except that the sky would fall. Not all times refuse to enter into league, confederation, & friendship with such a valiant & magnanimous King. If you believe Strabo lib. 7. & Arrian lib. 1. Plutarch also one delivers that he made Of the face which appears on the body of the Moon, alleges one named Phenace, who greatly feared that the Moon would fall to earth: & had commiseration & pity on those who dwell beneath it, as do the Aethiopians & Taprobanians: if so great a mass should fall upon them. Heaven and earth had no equal, if they were not duly fulcizated and supported on the colonists of Atlas, as was the opinion of the ancients, according to the testimony of Aristoteles lib. 5 Metaphys.
Aeschilus this non ostent died by ruin & fall of a caquerolle of Turtle: which of the gryphs of an Eagle high in the air falling on his head split his brains.
No more Anacreon poet: who died strangled from a grape seed. No more Fabius Roman praetor, who died of suffocation from a goat's hair, eating a bowl of milk. No more shameful cell which by holding back its wind, and failing to blow a nasty blow, suddenly died in the presence of Claudius Roman Emperor. No more of the cell who in Rome is buried in the Flaminie road, who in his epitaph complains of having died from being bitten by a cat on his little finger. No more Q. Lecanius Bassus, who suddenly died of such a small needle point, one pushes with the left hand, that one can see him at the same time. More Guignemauld Normand doctor, great gray pitch swallower & berlandier tresinsigne: who suddenly passed away at Monspellier for want of having paid his debts & for having pulled a Ciron from his hand with a quill of goods. No more Philomenes, to whom his valet for the starter of dipner having after some new figs during the time that he went to the wine, an asne couillart esguaré had entered his lodging, & the affixed figs ate religiously. Philomenes, appear, & curiously contemplating the grace of the ass Sycophagus, told to the varlet who was back. Reason would like that to this devotee asne have the figs abandoned, that to drink you produce him of this good wine that you brought. These spoken words entered into such an excessive gaiety of spirit, and burst out laughing so enormously, continuously, that the exercise of the Ratelle took away all his breathing,
No more Spurius Sauseius, who died smelling a soft-boiled egg after bathing. No more celluy which Bocace says died suddenly by cleaning his teeth with a bit of Saulge. More Philippot placut who, being healthy and robust, suddenly died paying an old debt without any previous illness. No more Zeusis the painter, who suddenly died of laughter, considering the face and portrait of an old woman represented by him in painting.
More than a thousand other than we tell you, late Verrius, late Pliny, late Valère, late Baptiste Fulgose, late Bacabery the elder. The good Bringuenarilles (alas) died strangled eating a quince of butter fresh from the mouth of a hot oven, by order of the doctors.
There we were told in abundance that the King of Cullan in Bohu had defeated the Satraps of King Mecloth, & sacked the fortresses of Belima. From passing through the islands of Nargues & Zargues. Also the islands of Teleniabin & Geneliabin, very beautiful & fruitful in terms of Clysteres. The isles also of Enig & Evig: from which before had come the stampede at Langrauss of Esse.


How Pantagruel
evaded a strong storm at sea.
Chapter XVIII.

On the following day meetings at poge neuf Orcs loaded with monks, Iacobins, Jesuits, Cappussins, Hermits, Augustins, Bernardins, Celestins, Theatins, Egnatins, Amadeans, Cordeliers, Carmelites, Minims, & other religious saints who were going to the Council of Chesil, to to grab the articles of faith against the new haeretics. Seeing them, Panurge entered in excess of joy, as if assured of having all good fortune for celluy day and other successors in long order. And having courteously greeted the beatz fathers & recommended the salvation of his soul to their devotees prayers & menuz suffraiges, feist iect in their ships seventy & eighteen dozen iambons, number of Caviatz, tens of Cervelatz, hundreds of Boutargues, & two thousand beaulx Angelotz for the souls of the deceased.
Pantagruel remained pensive and melancholy. Brother Ian saw him, and asked where he had come from such unaccustomed annoyance: when the pilot, considering the flutterings of the peneau above the stern, and foreseeing a tyrannical squall and new fortune, ordered all to be at home, so many nauchiers, fadrins, and moss , that we other travellers: feist setting sail, meiane, contremeiane, Triou, Maistralle, Epagon. Civadière: feist caller les Boulingues, Trinquet de prore, & trinquet de gabie, descend the great Artemon, & of all the antennas only remain the grizelles & coustières.
Suddenly the sea began to swell & tumult from the low abyss, the strong waves beat the sides of our ships, the Maistral accompanied by a frantic cole, black Gruppases of terrible Sions, deadly Gusts, hissing through our antennae. The sky thundering from above, thundering, lighting up, raining, hailing, the air losing its transparency, becoming opaque, tenebrous & obscured, so that other light only appeared to us as lightning, lightning, & breaches of flaming clouds: the categides, Thielles, lelapes & pestères ignite all around us by the psoloentes, arges, elicies, & other ethereal eiaculations, our aspectz all be dissipated & disturbed, the horrific Typhones suspend the mountainous waves of the current.
Panurge having the contents of his stomach well sated with the scatophagous fish, remained acropy on the deck all afflicted, all bleeding, half dead, invoked all the holy and holy benoistz to his aid, protested to confess in time and place, then s ' cried in great horror saying.
Maigor dome hau, my friend, my father, my uncle, produce some salt. We will sometimes drink only too much, as I see. A little eat well drink, will henceforth be my motto. Praise to God & to the benoiste, worthy, & sacred Virgin that now, ie said just now, I was on dry land quite at my ease. O that three & four lucky times are those who plant cabbage. O Because you are not liking me for cabbage planter? How small is the number of those to whom Iuppiter has shown such favor that he has destined them to plant cabbages. For they always have one foot in the ground: the other is not far from it. Dispute of felicity & sovereign good who will, but whoever plants Chous is presently very happy by my enlightened decree, with too much better reason than Pyrrho being in such danger as we are, and seeing a swine near the shore who was eating scattered barley, declared him very happy in two qualities, knowing that he had barley in abundance, and to abundant was in the ground. Ha for manor deificque & seigneurial it is only the floor of the cows. This wave will carry us away, servant God. O my friends a little vinegar. I braid it with a big ahan. Zalas the vesles are broken, the Prodenou is in pieces, the Pods burst, the shaft from the top of the guatte plunges into the sea: the hull is in the Sun, our Gumenes are almost all rouptz. Zalas, Zalas, where are our bowling alleys? Everything is frelore bigoth. Our trinquet is swallowed Zalas who will own this briz? Friends, give me the back of one of these rambades. Children, your Landrivel has fallen. Alas don't give up the orgeau, don't also the Tirados. Ie oy Laigneuillot shudder. Is it broken? For god save the brague, fernel do not worry. Baby boo boo, boo. Look at the calamity of your compass of grace, Master Astrophile, from whom this fortune comes to us. By my faith, I have beautiful paour. Boo boo, boo boo. It's done by me. I conchie me of male stiffness of paour. Boubou, boubou. Otto to to to to ti. Otto to to to to ti. Bou bou bou, or or or bou bou bou bou. I don't. I don't. I die. Good people ie naye. By my faith, I have beautiful paour. Boo boo, boo boo. It's done by me. I conchie me of male stiffness of paour. Boubou, boubou. Otto to to to to ti. Otto to to to to ti. Bou bou bou, or or or bou bou bou bou. I don't. I don't. I die. Good people ie naye. By my faith, I have beautiful paour. Boo boo, boo boo. It's done by me. I conchie me of male stiffness of paour. Boubou, boubou. Otto to to to to ti. Otto to to to to ti. Bou bou bou, or or or bou bou bou bou. I don't. I don't. I die. Good people ie naye.


What countenances had Panurge
& brother Ian during the storm.
Chapter XIX.

Pantagruel, having previously implored the help of the great Servant God & made public prayer in fervent devotion on the advice of the pilot, held the tree strong & firm, brother Ian put himself in a doublet to help the nautical sailors. Also were Epistemon, Ponocrates & the others. Panurge remained ass on the deck, weeping and lamenting. Brother Ian saw him passing over the Coursie & told him.
By God Panurge the calf, Panurge the crying, Panurge the screaming, you would do much better helping us here than there crying like a cow, sitting on your assholes, like a nest egg.
Be be be bous, bous, bous (replied Panurge) brother Ian my friend, my good father, ie naye, ie naye my friend, ie naye. It's done by me, my spiritual father, my friend, it's done. Your bragmart could not save me. Zalas, Zalas, we are above Ela. out of the whole range. Baby, baby, baby. Zalas at this hour are we below Gama ut. I don't. Ha my father, my uncle, my everything. The water got into my shoes through the collar. Bous, bous, bous, paisch. huh, huh. huh, ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I don't. Zalas, Zalas, hu, hu. hu, hu, hu, hu. Baby bous, bous bobous, bobous, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Zalas, Zalas, At this hour be well punctuated by the forked tree, feet uphill, head down. Pray be to God that I was presently in the Orc of the good & beatz Concilipete fathers whom we met this morning, so devout, so fat, so yellow, so douilletz, & with good grace. Holos, holos, holos, Zalas, Zalas, this wave of all the Devils (mea culpa Deus) ie diz this wave of God will sink our nauf. Zalas brother Ian my father, my friend, confession. See me on my knees. Confiteor, your holy blessing.
Come hang on the Devil (dist brother Ian) here help us, by thirty Legions of Devils, come. Will he come?
Let's not speak (dist Panurge) my father, my friend, for this hour. Tomorrow as long as you want. Holos, holos. Zalas, our nauf prent eau, ie naye, Zalas, Zalas. Be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be But we are at the bottom. Zalas, Zalas. I give it eighteen hundred thousand escuz de intrade to whoever will put me in the ground, all rotten and all brown as I am, if ever there was a home in my homeland of brown. Confiteor. Zalas, a little note of testament, or Codicil at the very least.
A Thousand Devils (dist brother Ian) leap from this hull. Virtues God, are you talking about a testament at this hour when we are in danger, and which it behooves us to never kill, or never again. Will you come ho devil? Comite mon mignon: O the nice Algousan, from this Gymnast, here on the estanterol. We are by the virtues of God trussed at this blow. Here is our extinct Phanal. Cecy goes to all the millions of Devils.
Zalas, Zalas (dist Panurge) Zalas, Bou, bou, bou, bou. Zalas, Zalas. Was it here that to perish was predestined to us? Holos good people, ie naye, ie die. Consummatum is. It's done by me.
Magna, gna, gna (dist brother Ian) Fy how ugly the crying shit. Mousse ho de par tous les Diables, guarde l'escantoula. Are you hurt? Virtues God. Attach to one of the Bitous here, beyond, by the Devil hay. So my child.
Ha brother Ian (dist Panurge) my spiritual father my amy ne iurons poinct. You sin. Zalas, Zalas. Bebebebous, bous, bous, ie naye, ie die my friends. I forgive everyone. Farewell, In manus. Boo, boo, boooooo Saint Michel d'Aure. Saint Nicolas at this time & never again. I beg you here good will & to our Lord, that if at this blow you help me, I intend that I put me in the ground out of this danger here, I will build you a beautiful big little chapel or two between Quandé & Monssoreau, & neither cow nor calf will graze there. Zalas, Zalas, more than eighteen seillaux or two have entered my mouth. Boo, boo, boo, boo. How bitter & salty it is.
By the virtues (said brother Ian) of the blood, of the flesh, of the belly, of the head, if still ie you oy pioller Coqu to the devil, ie you gualleray as a sea wolf: virtues God that we do not ectons at the bottom of the sea? Hespailier ho nice companion, so my friend. Hold on tight. Really well lit, & well thundered. I believe that all the Devils are unchained in the day, or that Proserpine is in child labour. All the Devils dance to the bells.


How shipwrecks give up
ships at the height of the storm.
Chapter XX.

Ha (dist Panurge) you sin brother Ian my old friend. Former say ie, because of present ie am null, you are null. It annoys me to tell you. For I believe that thus jure you in the face of the gratelle: like a boy-splitter gives great relief to the celluy who at each blow close to him shouts Han, in a loud voice: & as a bowler is marvelously relieved when he does not hits the ball right, if some man of spirit near him leans & goes around the head & the body at half the cost to which the ball otherwise well hit has made a bowling encounter. Always you sin my amy doulx. But if we eat some kind of Cabirotades right now, would we be safe from this storm? I've read that at sea in times of storm never had paour,
He's rambling, said Brother Ian, the poor Devil. To a thousand & millions, & hundreds of millions of Devils be the Coqu cornard au Diable. Ayde us here hau Tigre. Will he come? Here at orche. Test God full of relics, what patenostre of Cinge are you muttering between your teeth? This crazy sailor devil is the cause of the storm, and he alone does not help the storm. By God if I see you there, I will chastise you as a tempestuous Devil. Icy Fadrin my darling: well, let me face it a new Gregeoys, O the nice foam. Pray to God that you were Abbot of Talemouze, and the one who preceded him was the guardian of Croullay. Ponocrates my brother you will hurt there. Epistemon beware of Ialousia, I saw a thunderbolt there. Inse. Well said. Inse, inse, inse, inse. Vieigne skiff. Inse. Virtues God what is that? The cap is in pieces. Thunder Devils, fart, burp, laugh. Bren for the wave. She, by the virtue of God, failed to carry me under the current. I believe that all the millions of Devils hold their provincial chapter here, or run for the election of a new Rector. Orchestra. Well said. Guare la cavèche hau mousse, de par le Diable hay. Orchestra. Orchestra.
Bebebebous, bo' bo', (dist Panurge) bous, bous, bebe be bou bous. ie nay. I don't see Heaven, don't Earth. Zalas, Zalas. Of the four elements we only have fire and water here. Bouboubou, boubou, boubou. Pray to the worthy virtues of God that at the present time I should be in the Clos de Seuillé, where dear Innocent, the Pastissier in front of the Painted Cellar at Chinon is about to put on a doublet to cook the little Pastez. Our home would you know how to put me in the ground? You know so well, as I have been told. I give you all Salmiguondinoys, & my great cacquerollière, if by your industry I find once again solid ground. Zalas, Zalas, ie naye. Dea, beaulx amys puys that surge not povons at good port, put us at the roadstead, ie do not know where. Dip all your anchors. Let's be out of this danger, please. Our soul plunge into scandal, and the bolides of grace. Let's know the height of the deep. Search our soul my friend from our Lord. Let's see if we can easily stand up here, without bothering. I believe something.
Uretacque hau (cried the pilot) Uretacque. Hand insail. Ame ne Uretacque. Bressina. Uretacque. Save the bread. High tack, low tack, Hau Uretacq, Cap en houlle. Take off the helm. Accept.
Are we there dist Pantagruel. The good servant God help us.
Acappaye hau, exclaimed Iamet Brayer master pilot, acappaye. Everyone thinks of his soul, and puts himself in devotion, hoping for help only by miracle of Heaven.
Let us, dist Panurge, have some good and beautiful sight. Zalas, Zalas, Zalas. Bou bou bebebebous, bous, bous. Zalas, Zalas, let's make a pilgrim. Cza, that, everyone boursille beaulx farthings. Cza.
Deça hau (dist brother Ian) by all the Devils. At poge. Accept in the name of God. Unsleeve the hau helm. Accept. Accept. Let's drink high. Ie diz of the best, & most stomachal. Do you hear hault maiour dome. Produce, exhibit. As well goes cecy to all the millions of Devils. Bring here my drawer (Thus he called his breviary). Wait, tire my friend so virtues God here is really scorched & blasted. Hold up there, please. When will we have the feast of all saints? I believe that today is the infested feast of all the millions of Devils.
Alas (dist Panurge) brother Ian damns himself well on credit. O that I lose a good friend there. Zalas, Zalas, this is worse than before. We are going from Scylle to Caryde, holos ie naye. Confiteor. A little word of testament brother Ian, my father, Mr. abstractor my friend, my Achates. Xenomanes my everything. Alas ie naye, two testament motz. Hold here on this transpontine.


Continuation of the storm,
& brief speech sus testaments faictz
over sea.
Chapter XXI.

To make a will (dist Epistemon) at that hour when it is convenient for us to save and succor our chorme on the verge of being shipwrecked, seems to me an act as importunate and inappropriate as that of Caesar's pesades & mignons Lances entering Gaul, the people amused to make wills & codicils, lamented their fortunes, mourned the absence of their wives & Roman friends, when by necessity it suited them to run to arms, & be killed against Ariovistus their enemy. It is stupid such as the carter whose cart, overturned by a retorble, at genoilz implored the aid of Hercules, & did not goad his oxen & did not put his hand to raise the wheels. What will you use here to make a will? Because either we will escape this danger, or we will be naïve. If we escape it will be of no use to you. Wills are only valid if not authorized by the death of the testators. If we are born, won't he be like us? Who will take it to the executioners?
Some good wave (answered Panurge) will throw it down, as Ulyxes does: & some daughter of Roy going to the esbat on the river will meet him: then will have him executed very well: & near the shore will make me erect some magnificent cenotaph: as did Dido to her husband Sichaeus, Aeneas to Deiphobus on the shore of Troy near Rhoete: Andromache to Hector, in the city of Butrot. Aristoteles to Hermias & Eubulus. The Athenians to the poet Euripides, the Romans to Drufus in Germany, & to Alexandre Severe their emperor in Gaulle, Argentier in Callaischre. Xenocritus at Lysidices. Timares to his son Teleutagiores. Eupolis & Aristodice to their son Theotime. Onestes to Timocles. Callimache at Sopolis filz of Dioclides. Catullus to his brother, Statius to his father, Germain de Brie to Hervé the Breton nauchier.
Do you stay? (said brother Ian) Help here from five hundred thousand & million cartloads of Devils, help that the dunce can come to your mustaches, & three shaves of anguonnages, to make you a top of breeches, & new fly. Is our nauf encarée? virtues God how shall we tow it? What all the devils of the sea voicy? We'll never escape, or I'll give me to all the Devils.
Then you could hear a piteous exclamation from Pantagruel saying in a loud voice. Lord God, save us. We perish. Not, however, happens according to our affections. But your holy will be done.
God (dist Panurge) & the blessed Virgin be with us. Holos, holas, ie nay. Bebebebous, bebe bous, bous, In manus. True God send me some dolphin to save me in the ground like a beautiful little Arion. The harp would sound good if it weren't loosened.
I give me to all the Devils (said brother Ian) (God be with Panurge ques no 'disoyt between the teeth) if I go down there, I will show you by evidence that your assholes are hanging from the ass of a cowardly, corned, dehorned calf. Mgnan Mgnan, Mgnan. Come here to help us, a great calf crying out from thirty million Devils, who are leaping into your body. Will you come? O sea calf. Fy how ugly the pleurart is. Do you dictate anything else? Cza ioyeulx Drawer forward, let me peel you against the grain. Beatus vir qui non abiit. I know all this by heart. Let's see the legend of Monsieur Saint Nicolas.

Horrida tempestas montem turbavit acutum.

Tempeste was a great whipper of schoolboys at Montagu College. If by whipping poor little innocent schoolboys the Pedagogues are damned, it is on my honor, in the wheel of Ixion, whipping the courtault dog who shakes it. If they are by innocent children whipping save, he must be above the...


End of the storm.
Chapter XXII.

Land, land, cried Pantagruel, I see land. Courageous children of sheep. We are not far from port. I see the Sky from the coast of the Transmontane, which begins to separate. Advise Siroch.
Courage children, dismiss the pilot, the current is back. At Gabie's trinquet. Inse, inse. At the contremeiane boulingues. The capestan cable. Turn, turn, turn. Hand insail. Inse, inse, inse. Plant the helm. Hold tight to guaranty. Parry the couetz. Parry the scouts. Parry the Bolines. Port tack. The helmet under the wind. Starboard breakout, son of a bitch. (You are very glad, good man, tell Brother Ian to the sailor, to hear news from your mother). Come from the lo. Close & plain. Raise the bar. (Haulte est, replied the sailors). Life size. The course at the threshold. High briefcases. Let's sew bonettes. Inse, inse.
It is well said & advised. The storm seems to me to criticize & finish early. Praise be to God though. Our Devils begin to escamp dehinch. Mole. It is well & learnedly spoken. Mole, mole. Here by God. Kind Ponocrates, mighty ribauld. He will only make children of the lewd man. Eusthenes guallant home. At the trinquet of prore. Inse, inse. Well said. Inse by God, inse, inse. I wouldn't deign to fear it, for the day is feriau, Nau, nau, nau. (Cestuy Celeume, dist Epistemon, is not out of place: & pleases me, because the day is feriau). Inse, inse. Good. O cried Epistemon, I command you all to hope. I see that Beaver on dexter.
Be be be be be be be be be be, say Panurge, I'm sorry for Helen the bawdy.
It is really answered Epistemon, Mixarcheguas, if you like the denomination of the Argives. Haha, haha. I saw land: I saw port: I saw a large number of people in the harbour. I saw fire on an Obeliscolychnie.
Haye, haye, (dist the pilot) double the heading, & the bass.
Lined east, replied the sailors.
She goes away, says the pilot: so go those of convoy. Help the good times.
Saint Ian, dist Panurge, that's spoken. Oh the beautiful word.
Mgna, mgna, mgna, dist brother Ian, if you taste a drop, may the Devil taste me. Hear you couillu to the Devil. Hold our soul, full tanquart of the best end. Bring the Frizons, hau Gymnast, & this great morning of Iambicque pasté: or Iambonique it's all one to me. Keep giving through.
Courage ( cried Pantagruel ) courage children. Let's be courteous. See our nauft two Lutz, three Flouins, five chippes, eight flying boats, four guondolmes & six freguates, by the good people of this next island sent to our assistance. But who is this Ucalegon yonder who thus cries out & becomes discomforted? Do I no longer hold the tree securely in my hands, and more upright than two hundred gumènes would do?
It is (answered Brother Ian) the poor Devil of Panurge, who has the fever of a calf. He trembles with fear when he is drunk.
If (dist Pantagruel) sorry he had during this horrible & perilous Colle Fortunal, provided that for the rest he would have died, I do not esteem him a little less. For as to fear in every collision is an indication of a heavy & lax heart, so as Agamemnon did: & for that cause Achilles said in his reproaches ignominiously to have the eye of a dog, & heart of a deer: so do not fear when the case is obviously redoubtable, is a sign of little or no apprehension. Now, if there is anything in this life to be feared, after the offense of God, I do not want to enter into the dispute between Socrates and the Academicians: death is not self-defeating, death is not self-defeating, to be feared. For as is the sentence of Homer, a grieved, abhorrent, and distorted thing is to perish at sea. In fact Aeneas, in whose tempest the convoy of his ships near Sicily was surprised, regretted not having died by the hand of Fort Diomedes, and said those who were troyed and four times happy who had died in the conflagration of Troy. No one is dead yet. Servant God be eternally praised. But really here is a mesnage rather out of order. GOOD. We will have to fix this briz. Keep that don't give on the ground.


How the storm ended
Panurge makes the good companion.
Chapter XXIII.

Ha, ha (exclaimed Panurge) everything is fine. The storm has passed. Please, let me get down first. I would very much like to go about my business a bit. Are you still there? Let me twist this chord. I have courage prou, voire. Too little. Give it up my friend. No, not out of fear. It is true that this decuman wave, which gave from prore to stern, altered my artery a little. Sail low. it is well said. How are you doing nothing, brother Ian? Is it time to drink at this hour. What do we know if Saint Martin's estaffier is still stirring up some new storm for us? Would you still like to go beyond? Virtues guoy I repent well, but it is late, that I did not follow the doctrine of the good Philosophers, who claim to be able to lead by the sea and sail by the land, to be a very safe and delectable thing: like going on foot, when you hold your horse by the bridle. Ha, ha, ha, by God everything is fine. Are you still there? Yawn that, I'll do that well. Or the Devil will be there.
Epistemon had a hand all inside grazed & bloody from having held one of the gumenes with great violence, & hear the speech of Pantagruel dist. Believe Lord that I had no less pain and fear than Panurge. But what? I was spared no help. I consider it, that if really to die is (as is) of fatal and inevitable necessity, in such and such an hour, in such and such a way, to die is in the holy will of God. Yet icelluy must incessantly implore, invoke, pray, request, beg. But there is no need to make goal & bourne: on our part it is equally appropriate to endeavor to kill ourselves, & as the holy Envoy says, to be cooperative with him. You know that C. Flaminius was consul when by the trick of Hannibal he was confined near the lake of Perusa dict Thrasymene. Children (he said to his soubdars) to leave here do not have to hope for you by wish and imploration, of the Gods. By strength & virtues it is appropriate for us to escape, & by sword's edge make our way through the midst of enemies.
Similarly in Saluste, the ayde (dist M. Portius Cato) es Dieux is not impetrated by ocious will, by multiple lamentations. Veiglant, be evertuant, all things succeed to soubhayt & good port. If in necessity and danger the man is negligent, stale, and lazy, without purpose he implores the Gods. They are irritated & indignant.
I give myself to the Devil (dist brother Ian) I am half of it (dist Panurge) if the nail of Seuillé had not been all harvested & destroyed, if I had only sung contra hostium insidias (matter of breviary) as the other Devils did of monks, without helping the vines with the baston of the cross against the pillagers of Lerné.
Vogue la gualère (dist Panurge) all is well. Brother Ian does nothing there. His name is Brother Ian doing nothing, & he watches me here sweating & working to help in this good home First Seaman of that name. Our soul ho. Two words: but don't worry. How thick are the boards of this nauf?
They are (replied the pilot) two good fingers, don't worry.
Virtues God (dist Panurge) we are therefore continually two fingers close to death. Is this one of the nine marriage vows? Ha our soul, you are doing well measuring the peril with the alder of paour. I have none, when is from me. I call me Guillaume sans paour. Of courage so much & more. I do not hear the courage of sheep. Ie ten courage of Wolf, asseurance of murderer. And fear nothing but the dangers.


How by Brother Ian Panurge is
declared to have suffered without cause
during the storm.
Chapter XIII.

Good day Gentlemen, said Panurge, good day very. You are very well, thank God & you? You are the well & about comez. Let's go down. Hespalliers hau, ect the pontal: approach cestuy skiff. Are you still there? I am allotted & hungry to do well & work, like four beefs. Really voycy a beautiful place, & good people. Children, do you still have to do with my help? Spare the sweat of my body, for God's sake. Adam is man, born to plow & work, like a bird to fly. Our Lord wants, do you hear well? that we eat our bread in the sweat of our bodies: not by doing nothing, like that cloak of a monk that you see, Brother Ian, who is drinking and dying of pain. Good weather.
Even better, said Pantagruel, when he asked which was the greater number, of the dead or of the living? asked. Among which do you count those who sail at sea? Subtly signifying that those who sail at sea, so near are in continual danger of death, that they live die, & die live. Thus Portius Cato said three things only to repent. To know is, if he had ever had his secret to a woman revealed: if in idleness he had ever spent a day: & if by sea he had peregrinated in a place otherwise accessible by land.
By the worthy frock that I wear, said Brother Ian to Panurge, idiot my friend, during the storm you suffered without cause and without reason. Because your fatal destinies are not to perish in water. You will be high in the air, certainly hanged: or burnt cheerfully like a father. Lord do you want a good guaban against the rain? Leave those cloaks of Loup and Bedouault to me. Have Panurge skinned, and cover yourself with his skin. Do not approach the fire, and do not pass by the forges of the marshals, by God. In a moment you would see her in ashes. But expose yourself to the rain as much as you want, to the snow, and to the hail. Indeed by God, ect yourself to dive into the depths of the water, yet you will not be wet. Do it in winter boots: I will never take on water. Make traps to teach young people to swim. They will learn without danger.
Her skin therefore, says Pantagruel, would be like the grass says Hair of Venus, which is never wet nor moist: always dry, although it was as deep in the water as you would like. Yet Adiantos is dictated.
Panurge my friend, said brother Ian, never miss the water, please. Otherwise your life will be over.
Even (answered Panurge) But the cooks of the Devils sweat sometimes, & wander in their office: & often put to boil what was intended for roasting, as in the kitchen of this house the masters Queux often burnt Perdris, Ramiers, & Bizets, intending (as is likely) to roast them. It always happens that the Perdris with cabbage, the woodpigeons with piglets, and the bizets they boil the naveaulx. Listen to beaulx amys. I protest before the noble company, that from the chapel dedicated to Monsieur S. Nicolas between Quandé & Monssoreau, I hear that there will be a chapel of Rose water: in which neither cow nor calf will graze. For ie the ietteray at the bottom of the water.
Voylà, dist Eusthenes, the guallant: Voylà the guallant: guallant & demy. It is verified the Lombardic proverb. Passato el pericolo, gabato el santo.


How after the storm
Pantagruel came down the isles
Macraeons.
Chapter XXV.

For the moment we are going down to the port of an island which is called the Isle of Macraeons. The good people of the place no' receive honorably. An old Macrobe (as he called their master alderman) wanted to take Pantagruel to the common house of the city to refresh himself at his ease, and to take his repairs. But he did not want to leave the mole until all his people were in the ground. After having reconnoitred them, each ordered to be changed of jackets, and all the ammunition of the shipwrecks to be exposed on the ground, so that all the chormes would be dear dregs. What was immediately done. And God knows how he was beu & guallé there. All the people of the place brought food in abundance. The Pantagruelists gave them some adventage. It is true that their provisions were in no way damaged by the preceding storm. The finy meal Pantagruel begged each one to serve & duty to repair the briz. What they did, & in good faith. Reparation was easy for them, because all the people of the island were carpenters & all craftsmen such as you see in the Arsenac of Venice: & the large island only was inhabited in three ports, & ten Paroeces, the rest was boys of high fustaye, & desert as if the forest of Ardeine was.
At our instance, old Macrobus showed what was spectacular and remarkable on the island. And through the shady & deserted forest discovered several old ruined temples, several obelisks, pyramids, ancient monuments & sepulchers, with various inscriptions & epitaphs. Some in Hieroglyphic letters, others in Ionic language, others in Arabic language, Agarene, Sclavonic, & others. From which Epistemon feist curiously extracted.
This hang Panurge dist to brother Ian. Here is the island of Macraeons, Macraeon in Greek means old man, man who is many years old.
What do you want (says brother Ian) that you face? Do you want me to erase me? I was not in my country when so baptized.
By the way (answered Panurge) I believe that the name madam is taken from it. Because maquerellaige only competes with old women, young people compete Culletaige, Yet one would think that here was the original Maquerelle Isle & prototype of the one in Paris. Let's go fishing for oysters on a stopover.
The old Macrobius in Ionic language asked Pantagruel how & by what industry & labor was aborted at their port that day in which the air had been disturbed, and the storm of the sea so horrific. Pantagruel answered him that the high servant had had regard to the simplicity and sincere affection of his people: they only traveled for trade in merchandise. One and only cause had put them at sea, knowing is a studious desire to see, learn, know, visit the oracle of Bacbuc, and have the word of the Bottle, above some difficulties proposed by someone of the company. However, it had not been without great affliction & obvious danger of shipwreck. Puys asked him what cause seemed to him to be of this frightful and fortunate thing,


How the good Macrobe tells
in Pantagruel the mansion & division
of the Heroez.
Chapter XXI.

So answered the good Macrobus. Amys peregrins here is one of the Sporades islands, not of your Sporades which are in the Carpathian Sea: but of the Sporades of the Ocean, once rich, frequent, opulent, merchant, populous & subjected to the ruler of Brittany. Now by lapse of time & on the declination of the world, poor & deserted as you see. In this dark forest that see long & wide more than seventy & eight thousand Parasangs is the habitation of Daemons & Heroes. The Quelz have become old. & believe no longer shining the comet now, which appears to us by three entire days preceding, that yesterday someone died of it. To whose death is excited that horrible storm which you suffered. Because they live well abounds in this place & other neighboring islands: & at sea is cheerful & continual serenity. At the death of each of us ordinarily we hear great & pitiful lamentations through the forest, & see pestilences, vimers & afflictions on land, troubles & darkness in the air: tempest & fortunate at sea.
There is (dist Pantagruel) appearance in what dictate. Because like the torch or the candle all the time that it is alive and ardent shines its assistants, lights up all around, delights everyone, and to everyone exposes its service and its clarity, does not harm or displease anyone. Known the moment that it is extinguished, by its smoke & evaporation it infects the air, it harms the assistants & everyone displeases. So it is with these noble and distinguished souls. All the time they inhabit their bodies, is their pacific, useful, delectable, honorable abode: at the hour of their discession, commonly occur through the islands and continent great disturbances in the air, darkness, lightning, hail: in concussions, tremors, astonishments: at sea fortunate & tempest,
We (dist Epistemon) have recently seen the experience of the death of the valiant and learned knight Guillaume du Bellay, who alive, France was in such happiness, that everyone wanted to know her, everyone rallied to it, everyone everyone redoubted it. Suddenly after her death she was held in contempt by everyone for a very long time.
Thus (dist Pantagruel) died Anchises at Drepani in Sicily the tempest gave terrible vexation to Aeneas. It is by adventure the cause why Herodes the tyrant and cruel king of Iudea sees himself near a horrible and hopeless death in kind (for he died of Phthiriasis eaten verms and pulses, as before was dead L. Sylla, Pherecydes Syrian praeceptor of Pythagoras, the poet Gregeoys Alcman, & others) & foreseeing that at his death the Juifz would make fire with joy, feist in his Serrail of all the cities, towns, & castles of Iudea all the nobles & magistrates to suit, under color & fraudulent occasion of their wanting things of importance to communicate for the regime & tuition of the province. Iceulx come & compare in persones feist in the racecourse of Serrail reserrer. Puys said to his sister Salomé, & to his mary Alexandre. I am sure that my death will be mourned, but if you want to hear and execute what you say, my execs will be honourable, and there will be public lamentation. As soon as he is dead, do it by the archers of my guard, as I have expressly commissioned, to kill all these nobles and magistrates who are in this area. Thus let us do all Idea despite being in mourning & lamentation will be, & will seem to be foreigners, whether it be because of my death: as if some heroic soul had died. So much affected a despairing tyrant when he spoke. Moy dying the earth be with the mixed fire, that is to say, perish everyone. Which word Nero the truant changed saying, I live: as Suetonius testifies. This detestable word, of which Cicero lib. 3. from Finibus. & Senecque lib. 2. of Clemence, is by Dion Nicaeus, & Suidas attributed to the Emperor Tiberius.


How Pantagruel Reasons
upon the dicession of Heroic souls:
horrific miracles
who preceded the death of the fire
Lord of Langey.
Chapter XXVII.

I would not have liked (dist Pantagruel continuing) not to have endured the stormy sea, which has vexed and labored us so much, not to hear what that good Macrobi is saying to us. Yet I am easily led to believe what he has told us of the comet seen in the air by certain days preceding such a division. For no such souls are so noble, precious, & heroic, that from their dislocation & death is certain days before given meaning to the heavens. And as the prudent physician, seeing by the signs prognosing his patient entering near death, for a few days before warns the wife, children, parents, and friends of the imminent death of the husband, father, or neighbour, so that in this rest of time he has to live, they admonish him to give order to his house, to exhort and bless his children, to recommend the widowhood of his wife, to enlighten what he will know to be necessary for the maintenance of the pupils, & not be surprised to death without testing & ordering of his soul & of his house: similarly the benevolent skies as the joyful ones of the new reception of these souls, before their death seem to make joyous fires by such comets, & meteor apparitions. Which the heavens want to be to humans for certain prognosis & truthful prediction, that within a few days such venerable souls will leave their bodies on the earth. Not less than formerly in Athens the judges Areopagites ballotans for the judgment of the criminalz prisoners, used certain notes according to the variety of the sentences: by  signifies condemnation to death: by  absolution: by amplification: to know is, when the case was not yet liquidated. Those publicly exposed greeted with esmoy & thought relatives, friends, & others curious to hear what would be the outcome & judgment of the malefactors detained in prison. Thus by such comets, as by ethereal notes say the skies tacitly. Mortalz if these happy souls want anything to know, learn, hear, know, provide for the good and public or private utility, be diligent to represent yourself to them, and have a response from them. For the end and catastrophe of comedy is approaching. Icelle passed, in vain you will regret them. & others curious to hear what would be the outcome & judgment of the criminals detained in prison. Thus by such comets, as by ethereal notes say the skies tacitly. Mortalz if these happy souls want anything to know, learn, hear, know, provide for the good and public or private utility, be diligent to represent yourself to them, and have a response from them. For the end and catastrophe of comedy is approaching. Icelle passed, in vain you will regret them. & others curious to hear what would be the outcome & judgment of the criminals detained in prison. Thus by such comets, as by ethereal notes say the skies tacitly. Mortalz if these happy souls want anything to know, learn, hear, know, provide for the good and public or private utility, be diligent to represent yourself to them, and have a response from them. For the end and catastrophe of comedy is approaching. Icelle passed, in vain you will regret them. be diligent in representing yourself to them, and having a response from them. For the end and catastrophe of comedy is approaching. Icelle passed, in vain you will regret them. be diligent in representing yourself to them, and having a response from them. For the end and catastrophe of comedy is approaching. Icelle passed, in vain you will regret them.
Font d'adventaige. It is that in order to enlighten the earth and earthly people not being worthy of the presence, company and fruition of such insignia souls, astonish and terrify it by prodigies, bearings, monsters, and other previous signs formed against any order of nature. What I saw several days before the department of that so illustrious, generous, and heroic soul of the learned and valiant Chevalier de Langey of whom you have spoken.
He remembers it (said Epistemon) and still shivers me and trembles in my heart inside his capsule, when I think of the prodigies so diverse and horrific which the veisms bitterly five and six days before his departure. Fashionable as the lords of Assier, Chemant, Mailly le borgne, Sainct Ayl, Villeneusve Laguyart, master Gabriel medicin de Savillan, Rabelays, Cohuau, Massuau, Maiorici, Bullou, Cercu, dict Bourguemaistre, François Proust, Ferron, Charles Giraud, François Bourré, & so many other friends, servants, & servants of the defunct all frightened looked at each other in silence without saying a word, but all thoughtful & far-sighted in their understandings that France would be deprived of such a perfect & necessary knight to his glory & protection,
Hoopoe (dist brother Ian) I want to become a clerk in my old days. I'a rather beautiful hearse, way. I ask you while asking, like the Roy to his sergeant, & the Royne to her child, these Heroes here & Semidieux of whom you have spoken, can they end in death? By my own dene, I thought in thought that they were immortalz, like beautiful angels, God forgive me. But this most reverend Macrobi says that they finally die.
Not all (answered Pantagruel). The Stoics said them all to be mortal, except one, who alone is immortal, impassive, invisible. Pindarus aptly says to the Hamadryad goddesses no more thread, that is to say no more life, to be daughter of the distaff & tow of destinies & Because iniquitous, than the trees preserved by them. These are oaks, from which they sprang, according to the opinion of Callimachus, and of Pausanias in Phoci. Esquelz agrees Martianus Capella. As for the Semidieux, Panes, Satyrs, Sylvains, Folletz, Aegypanes, Nymphes, Heroes, & Daemons, several have by the resulting total sum of various ages calculated by Hesiod their lives to be 9720 years: a number composed of unit passing into quadrinity, & the entire quadrinite four times in self-doubled form, then the whole five times multiplied by solid triangles. See Plutarch on Book of the Cessation of the Oracles.
This (said brother Ian) is not the subject of a breviary. I don't believe it if not what you like.
I believe (dist Pantagruel) that all intellective souls are exempt from the scissors of Atropos. All are immortal: Angels, Daemons, & Humans. I will tell you all the time a very strange story, but written and assured by several learned and learned Historiographers.


How Pantagruel tells a
heartbreaking touching story
the death of the Heroes.
Chapter XXVIII.

Epitherses father of Aemilian rhetor navigating from Greece loaded with various goods, & several travellers, on the evening ceasing the wind near the Echinades islands, which are between the Morea & Tunis, had their ship brought near Paxes. Being there accosted, none of the sleeping travellers, other veiglans, other drunks & souppans, came from the Isle of Paxes to hear the voice of someone who loudly called Thamoun. At which cries all were terrified.
Cestuy Thamous was their pilot, a native of Egypt, but not known by name, except to some of the travellers. Secondly, I heard that voice: Which called Thamoun in horrific cries. No one responds, but all remaining in silence and trepidation, in a third time this voice seemed to be heard more terrible than before. It so happened that Thamous answered. I'm here, what do you want? what do you want me to face? Then was this voice most loudly heard, telling him & commanding, when he would be in Palodes publishing & saying that Pan the great God was dead.
This word heard said Epitherses to all the shipwrights and travellers, who were dumbfounded and greatly frightened: And among themselves, deliberating what would be better, either to remain silent or to publish what had been ordered, Dist Thamous his advice to be, even if then they had wind in their sails, to pass beyond without saying a word: even if he was calm at sea, to signify what he had heard. When, therefore, they were near Palodes, it happened that they had neither wind nor running. So Thamus ascending on the ground, and on the ground projecting his sight, said, as he was commanded, that Pan the Great was dead. He had not yet finished the last word when there were heard great sighs, great lamentations, and terror on the ground, not of one person alone, but of several together. This news (because several had been praesens) was indeed all divulged in Rome. And sent Tiberius Cesar when emperor to Rome to fetch cestuy Thamous. And to have heard him speak adiousta faith in his words. And wondering about the learned people who were at that time in his court and in Rome in good numbers, who was cestuy Pan, found by their report that he had been the son of Mercury and Penelope. So beforehand it had been written by Herodotus & Cicero on the third book of the nature of the Gods. found by their report that he had been the son of Mercury and Penelope. So beforehand it had been written by Herodotus & Cicero on the third book of the nature of the Gods. found by their report that he had been the son of Mercury and Penelope. So beforehand it had been written by Herodotus & Cicero on the third book of the nature of the Gods.
However, ie the interpretoys of that great Servant of the faithful, who was in Iudea ignominiously slain by the envy & iniquity of the Pontiffs, doctors, priests, & monks of the Mosaic law. And does not seem to me the abhorrent interpretation. Because rightly can it be in the language Gregoys dict Pan. Seeing that he is ours Everything, everything we are, everything we live, everything we hope for is him, in him, from him, by him. It is the good Pan the great pastor who, as the passionate shepherd Corydon attests, not only loves & affections his sheep, but also his shepherds. At the death of which were complained, sighed, terrified, and lamentations in the whole machine of the Universe, heaven, earth, sea, hell. To this my interpretation completes time. Because this is a very good, very big Pan,
Pantagruel this propous finy remained in silence and deep contemplation. Shortly after we saw the tears flowing from his eyes as big as an Austrian egg. I give myself to God if I lie by a single word.


How Pantagruel Passed the Isle of
Crouching in which reigns
Quaremetaking.
Chapter XXIX.

The shipwrecks of the joyful convoy remade & repaired: the food refreshed: the Macraeons more than happy & satisfied with the expense that Pantagruel had made there: our people more joyful than usual, on the subsequent day had a veil made with canary & delicious Aguyon, in great ailigre. Earlier in the day, Xenomanes showed from afar the isle of Tapinois, in which reigned Quaresmeprenant: of which Pantagruel had heard another time, and the one who had willingly seen him in person, was only Xenomanes discouraged him, both for the great detour of the road, only for the meager pastime that he distributes throughout the isle & court of the Lord.
You will see there (says it) for any potaige a large swallower of gray peas, a large cacquerotier, a large taker of Taulpes, a large hay baleer, a half-giant with wispy hair & double tonsure extracted from Lanternoys, very large Lantern tree: confalonnier of Ichthyophages: dictator of Moustardois: whipper of small children: calciner of ashes: father & infant of doctors: abounding in pardons, indulgences, & stations: home of goodness: good Catholic, & of great devotion. He cries three times a day. I never find myself at weddings. It is true that he is the most industrious maker of lardouères and brochettes in forty kingdoms. About six years ago, passing through Tapinois, I took away a large one and gave it to the butchers of Quandé. They esteemed them highly, and not without cause. Ie you will see on our return two attached to the main gate. The foodstuffs of which he eats are albs hall, caps, morrions hall, and savory salads. Which sometimes suffers a loud pisschaude. His clothes are exquisite, as much in fashion as in color. Because he wears gray & cold: nothing before, & nothing behind: & the same sleeves.
You will please me, said Pantagruel, if, as you have shown me his clothes, his food, his way of doing things, and his pastimes, you will also show me his form and corpulence in all its parts.
I beg you Couillette, say Brother Ian: For I have found it in my breviary: & fled from it after the mobile feasts.
Willingly, replied Xenomanes. We will hear more about it by adventure passing without the Farouche Island, in which the eccentric Andouilles dominate his mortal enemies: against whom he has eternal war. And was not the help of the noble Mardigras their protector & good neighbor, this great Lantern Quaresme taking the exterminated parts of their mansion.
Are they (Brother Ian asked) male or female? angels or mortals? women or maidens.
They are, replied Xenomanes, female in sex, mortal in condition: some maidens, others no.
I give me to the Devil, said Brother Ian, if I am not for them. What disorder is it in nature to make war against women? Let's go back. Sacment this great villain.
Fight Quaresmeprenant (dist Panurge) by all the Devils? I'm not so crazy & hardy together. Quid iuris, if we found envelop between Andouilles & Quaresmeprenant? Between the anvil & the hammers? Dunce. Get out of there. Let's go further. Farewell you say Quaresmeprenant. I recommend the Andouilles: & don't forget the Boudins.


How by Xenomanes is anatomized
& description Quaresmetaking.
Chapter XXX.

Quaresmeprenant, said Xenomanes, as to the internal parts has, at least in my time had, the brains in size, color, substance, and vigor similar to the left cunt of a male Ciron.
The ventricles of it, like a lag screw.
Vermiform excrescence, like a pillemail.
The membranes, like a monk's whooping cough.
The funnel, like a masson bird.
The vault, like a goomph.
The conare, like a vèze.
The admirable retz, like a chamfer.
The mammillary additaments, like a bobelin.
The eardrums, like a pinwheel.
Stone bones, like feather feathers.
The neck, like a lantern.
Nerves, like a faucet.
The uvula, like a blowpipe.
The palat, like a mitten.
Saliva, like a shuttle.
Tonsils, like one-eyed glasses.
The isthmus, like a portouoire.
The gouzier, like a grape-picking basket.
The stomach, like a harness.
The pylorus, like a proud fork.
The asper artery, like a gutter.
The guaviet, like a platoon of estouppes.
The lung, like an aumusse.
The heart, like a chasuble.
The mediastinum, like a guodet.
The pleura, like a Corbin beak.
The arteries, like a cape from Biart.
The diaphragm, like a Coquarde cap.
The liver, like a bezague.
Venes, like a frame.
The ratelle, like a courquaillet.
The casings, like a trammel.
The gall, like a dolouoire.
The crack, like a guantelet.
The mesantère, like an abbey mitre.
The intestine young, like a daviet.
The blind intestine, like a breastplate.
The colon, like a sprig.
The cullier gut, like a monastic bourrabaquin.
Kidneys, like a trowel.
The lumbes, like a cathenate.
The ureter pores, like a cogwheel.
The emulgent venes, like two glyphouoires.
The spermatic vases, like a puff pastry.
The parastates, like a feather pot.
The bladder, like a bow to iallet.
The coul of icelle, like a battle.
The mirach, like an Albanian hat.
The siphach, like a brassal.
The muscles, like a bellows.
The tendons, like a bird's eye.
The ligamens, like a moneybag.
The bones, like cassemuzeaulx.
The marrow, like a bissac.
The cartilages, like a tortoise of guarigues.
The adenes, like a sickle.
Animal spirits, like big punches.
Vital spirits, like long flicks.
Boiling blood, like nazardes multiplied.
Urine, like a popfig.
Geniture, like a hundred lath nails. And told me his nurse, that he being married to Lamyquaresme only begat a number of local adverbs, and certain young doubles.
The memory had, like a scarf.
Common sense, like a bumblebee.
Imagination, like the ringing of bells.
Conscience, like a denigration of Heronneaulx.
The deliberations, like a poached organ.
Repentance, like equipping a double cannon.
Companies, like the sabourre of a gallion.
The understanding, like a drawn breviary.
The intelligences, like limaz, come out of the spawns.
Willingness, like three nuts in a bowl.
Desire, like six barrels of holy hay.
Judgment, like a shoehorn.
Discretion, like a mitt.
Reason, like a stool.


Anatomy of Quaresme taking as
to external parties.
Chapter XXXI.

Quarantinely, said Xenomanes continuing, as to the external parts, he was a little better proportioned: except the seven ribs which he had besides the common form of humans.
The toes had, like an organized spruce.
Nails, like a tendril.
The feet, like a guinterne.
The heels, like a club.
The plant, like a creziou.
The legs, like a decoy.
The genoilz, like a stepladder.
The thighs, like a crenequin.
The reeds, like a vibrator.
The belly with poulaines buttoned in the antique fashion, & girded with the antibust.
The navel, like an old woman.
The penillière, like a dariolle.
The member, like a pantophle.
The balls, like a slipper.
The genitals, like a rabbot.
The cremasters, like a racket.
The perinaeum, like a flageolet.
The asshole like a crystalline mirror.
The buttocks, like a harrow.
Kidneys, like a butter pot.
The alkatin, like a billart.
The bear, like a passing crossbow.
The spondyles, like a bagpipe.
The coustes, like a spinning wheel.
The wishbone, like a baldachin.
The shoulder blades, like a mortar.
The chest, like a god of regualles.
The breasts, like a cornetto.
The armpits, like a chessboard.
The shoulders, like a braz stretcher.
The braz, like a barbute.
The fingers, like landiers of siblings.
The skimmers, like two stilts.
Sickles, as sickles.
Coubtes, like scrapers.
The hands, like a estrille.
The coul, like a salverne.
The throat, like a Hippocras shoe.
The nou, like a barrel: from which hang two very beautiful & harmonious bronze guoytrouz, in the shape of a sand clock.
The beard, like a lantern.
The chin, like a pumpkin.
The ears, like two mittens.
The nose, like an ante escutcheon boot.
Nostrils, like a crush.
The worries, like a lichefrète.
Above the gauusche mouse had a hand in the shape and size of a urinal.
The shoulder pads, like a rebec.
The eyes, like an estuy of combs.
Optic nerves, like a rifle.
The forehead, like a drop.
The temples, like a weeping song.
The ioues, like two sabotz.
Maschouères, like a guoubelet.
The dens, like a vowel. Of such milk teeth you will find one at Colonges les royaulx in Poictou: & two at La Brosse in Xantonge, above the cellar door.
The tongue, like a harp.
The mouth, like a cover.
The bistorious face, like the bast of a mule.
The test, bypassed like a still.
The skull, like a gibbessière.
The seams, like a fisherman's ring.
The skin, like a gualvardine.
The Epidermis, like a beluteau.
The hair, like a hair clipper.
The hair, as has been said.


Continuation of contents
of Quaresmeprenant.
Chapter XXXII.

An admirable case in nature, said Xenomanes continuing, is to see & hear the state of Quaresmeprenant. If he spat, it was breaded with Chardonnette.
If it was sniffing, it was salted elvers.
If he was crying, it was Canars à la dodine.
If he trembled, it was Hare's grand patez.
If it followed, it was Moulues with fresh butter.
If it rottoit, it was oysters on stopover.
If he sneezed, it was full barrels of Mustard.
If he coughed, it was Boytes de Coudignac.
If he was sobbing, it was food from Cresson.
If he kissed, it was pots of peas plundered.
If he sighed, it was smoked beef tongues.
If he was subloit, it was the baskets of Cinges verds.
If he snores, it's the jadaulx de fèbves frèzes.
If he rechined, it was Pig's feet ausou.
If he spoke, it was a big office in Auvergne: so much did he fail to say the crimson, from which Parisatis wanted to be the woven words of those who spoke to his son Cyrus, king of the Persians.
If it blew, it was trunks for the Indulgences.
If he guygnoit eyes, it's wauffres & Obelies.
If he rumbled, it was Cats of Mars.
If he nodded, it was iron carts.
If he pouted, it was a broken fight.
If he mumbled, it was ieuz de la Bazoche.
If he twitched, it was respitz & quinquenelles.
If he recoiled, it was Coquecigrues de Mer.
If he was drooling, it was banishment.
If he was hoarse, it was starters from Moresques.
If he farted, it was houzeaulx of brown cow.
If he came, it was Cordouan boots.
If he rewarded himself, it was new ordinances.
If he sang, it was poys en guousse.
If it was fiantoit, it was pumpkins & Morels.
If he buffoit, it was cabbage in oil. alias Caules amb' olif.
If he discoursed, it was the snows of yesteryear.
If he cared, it was rez and tonduz.
If nothing worked, as much had the embroiderer.
If he dreamed, it was his eyes flying and crawling against a wall.
If he sees again, it is papers worthy.
Strange case. Worked doing nothing: nothing did work. Corybantioit dormant: slept corybantiant eyes open as do the Hares of Champaigne, fearing some camisade d'Andouilles his ancient enemies. Laughing while biting, biting while laughing. Nothing ate eating eating: nothing eating eating. nibbles by subson: drank by imagination. Bathed above the high steeples, dried off in the ponds and rivers. He fished in the air, and took there decumane crayfish. He hunted deep in the sea, and found Ibices, Stamboucqs, and Chamoys there. Of all Crows taken in Tapinois ordinarily posed the eyes. Nothing feared but its shadow, and the cries of fat goats. Beaten the pavement some days. Iouoyt the cords of the belts. His fist made a mallet.
That's the guallant, said Brother Ian. It's my home. It's the one I'm looking for. I saw him order a cartel.
Behold, said Pantagruel, a strange and monstrous limb of man. You reduce me to the contention of Amodunt & Discordance.
What shape asked Brother Ian, did they have? I never heard of it. God forgive me.
I will tell you, replied Pantagruel, what I have heard of it in the ancient Apologues. Physis (it's nature) in her first litter gave birth to Beauty & Harmony without carnal copulation: comme de soy mesmes is greatly fruitful & fertile. Antiphysia, which has always been the adverse party of Nature, immediately felt like this cestuy so beautiful & honorable childbirth: & on the contrary gave birth to Amodunt & Discordance by copulation of Tellumon. They had the test sphaeric & round entirely like a balloon: not gently compressed on both sides, as is the human norm. The ears had been removed, large as the ears of an ass: the eyes out of the head, stick on bones similar to the heels, carefree, hard as those of the Dunces: the feet round like balls: braz & hands turn back towards shoulders. And walked on their head, continually doing the cartwheel, ass on head, feet uphill. And (as you know that the Cingesses seem their little Cinges more beautiful than anything in the world) Antiphysie praised, & endeavored to prove that the shape of her children was more beautiful, & adventente, than children of Physis: saying that thus having the sphaeric feet & head, & thus wheeling circularly, was the competent form & perfect withdrawing gait to some portion of divinity: by which the heavens & all things eternal are thus circumvented. To have the feet in the air, the head down was an imitation of the creator of the Universe: seeing that the hair is in man like roots: the legs like branches. For the trees are more conveniently in the ground stuck on their roots, than would be on their branches. By this demonstration alleging that too much better & more aptly were his children like a straight tree, than those of Physis: which were like an overturned tree. As for the arms and the hands, it proved that it was more reasonably to turn towards the shoulders: because this part of the body should not be without defenses: since the front was competently provided with the teeth. Of which the person can not only use by chewing without the aid of the hands: but also be defended against harmful things. Thus by the testimony & stipulation of brute beasts drew all folz & foolishness into his sentence, & was in admiration to all people brainless & disarmed of good judgment, & common sense. From then on she engendered the Matagotz, & Papelars: the Pistoletz Maniacs: the Calvin Demoniacs, impostors of Geneva: the enraged Putherbes Brissaulx, Caphars, Chattemittes, Canibales: & other deformed & counterfeit monsters in spite of Nature.


How by Pantagruel felt
a monstrous Physetere glimpsed
near Farouche Island.
Chapter XXXIII.

At the height of the day approaching Farouche Island, Pantagruel from afar perceived a great and monstrous Physeterum, coming straight towards us noisy, snoring swollen up higher than the tops of the shipwrecks, and ejecting waters from the mouth in the air before we sailed. , as if were a great river falling from some mountain. Pantagruel showed it to the pilot, and to Xenomanes. By the advice of the pilot, the trumpets of the Thalamège were sounded in intonation of Guare Serre. At cestuy son all the naufz, Guallions, Ramberges, Liburnicques (according to what their naval discipline was) put themselves in order & figure such as is the v Gregeois letter of Pythagoras: such as you see observed by the Cranes in their flight: such what is at an acute angle:
Brother Ian on Chateau Guillard rode up cheerfully and deliberately with the bombers.
Panurge began to shout & lament more than ever. Babillebabou (he said) here is worse than before. Let's run away. It is, by death ox, Leviathan described by the noble prophet Moses in the life of holy home Iob. It will swallow us all & people & naufz, like pills. In its great infernal mouth we will no longer take its place than a grain of musky sugared almond would do in the mouth of an ass. See the cy. Let's flee, get on the ground. I believe it is the very sea monster that was once destined to devour Andromeda. We are all lost. O that for the slaying praesently there was here some valiant Perseus.
Perseus ius by me will be, answered Pantagruel. Don't be sorry.
Virtues God, said Panurge, let us be out of the causes of sorrow. When do you want me to stop, if not when the danger is obvious.
If such be (dist Pantagruel) your fatal destiny, as Brother Ian once exposed, you must not have Pyroeis, HeoÅs, Aethon, Phlegon, famous flammivorous horses of the Sun, which give fire through the nostrils: Physetera, which only emit water through the gills & through the mouth, don't have to have any. There by their water you will not be in danger of death. By this element more all will be guaranty & preserve that angry not offended.
To the other, said Panurge. It's come back from black peaks. Virtues of a little fish haven't you explained enough the transmutation of the elements, and the easy symbol which is between roust & bouilly, between bouilly & rousty? Halas. See the cy. I see some hiding there. We are all dead at this blow. I see Atropos on the topmast slicing her with her scissors of frays esmouluz ready to cut us all the net of life. Guarantee. See the cy. O how horrible and abominable you are. You have indeed drowned others, who did not boast of it. So if he gave good wine, white, vermilion, crumbly, delicious, instead of this bitter, stinking, salty water, it would be in no way tolerable: & there would be no occasion for patience, like this English miourt, to whom, being made a commendation for the crimes of which he was convinced, to die at his will, he would die drowned in a cask of Lavesie. See the cy. Ho ho Devil Sathanas, Leviathan. I cannot see you, you are so ugly and detestable. Vestz to the audience: vestz to the Chiquanous.


How by Pantagruel felt deffaict
the monstrous Physeterum.
Chapter XXXIII.

The Physeter entering into the brayes & angles of the naufz & Guallions, leaned on the first with full casks, as if the Catadupes of the Nile were in Aethiopia. Darts, Dardelles, lavelotz, pieux, Corsecques, Partuisanes, flew above him at all costs. Brother Ian spared no expense. Panurge died of grief. The artillery thundered and thundered like the Devil, and did their duty to pin him down without laughing. But little profited: for the great balls of iron and bronze embedded in his skin seemed to melt on seeing them from afar, as tiles do in the sun. Then Pantagruel, considering the opportunity and the necessity, deploys his braz, and shows what he knows how to do.
You dictate, and it is written, that the true Emperor Commodus of Rome, so dexterously shot the bow, that from afar he passed the arrows between the fingers of young children raising their hands in the air, without in any way firing them. You also tell us of an Indian archer at the time that Alexander the Great conquered India, which so much was to milk perish, that from afar he passed the arrows inside a ring: although they were iron of icelles so large & heavy, that he sees them with hips, sword shields, enough breastplates: generally everything that he touched, so firm, hard resistant, & valid firest, what can I say. You also dictate to us marvels of the industry of the ancient French, the quells to all were in the sagittarian art preferred: & the quells hunting black and red beasts rubbed the iron of their arrows with Hellebore: so that venison thus serves the flesh more tender, delicous, salubrious, and delicious was: all the same surrounding & housant the part thus reached all around. You do likewise narrated from the Parthians, who in the rear fired more ingeniously than did the other nations in front. So do you celebrate the Scythians in this dexterity. On behalf of which once an Ambassador sent to Darius Roy of the Persians, offered him a bird, a frog, a mouse, & five arrows, without saying a word. Asked what Telz present claimed, & if he had the task of saying anything, he replied that he had not. Of which Darius remained astonished & stupefied in his understanding, was only one of the seven captains who had slain the Magi, named Gobryes exposed him & interpreted saying. By these gifts & offerings the Scythians tacitly tell you. If the Persians like birds do not fly to the sky, or like mice do not hide towards the center of the earth: or do not move in the depths of ponds and paluz, like frogs, all will be in perdition moved by the power and sages of the Scythians.
The noble Pantagruel in the art of throwing and darting was without comparison more admirable. Because with its horrible piles, & darts (the which properly resembled the large poultres on which are the pons of Nantes, Saulmur, Bergerac, & in Paris the pons at the Change & at the Meusniers supported, in length, size, weight & fitting) not far from a thousand he opened the oysters in stopover without touching the edges: he snuffed out a candle without blowing it out: struck the magpies by the eye: untangled the boots without damaging them: unfurled the barbutes without guaster: whirled the sheets of the Brother Ian's breviary one after the other without desiring anything. With such darts, of which was great ammunition in his ship, at the first blow he imprisoned the Physeterus on his forehead so that he pierced his two jawbones and his tongue, so that he no longer opened his mouth, no longer puysed, no longer ejected water. At the second blow he gouged out his right eye: At the third his left eye. And was seen the Physeterum in great jubilation of all wearing these three horns on the forehead, somewhat panting forward, in an equilateral triangular figure: & whirling from one side to the other, staggering & misguided, as if dazed, blind, & next to death . With this dissatisfaction he darted another on his tail, panting backwards in the same way. Puys troys others above the aeschine in a perpendicular line, by equal distance from tail & tank troys foys iustement compartie. In the end he threw fifty of them on the flanks of a cost, & fifty on the other. In such a way that the body of the Physeterus resembled the keel of a guallion with three gabnies, mortified by the competent size of its beams, as if the hulls and shrouds of the carine were. And it was a very pleasant thing to see. So dying the Physeterus overturned belly over bear, as are all dead fish: & thus overthrown the poultres against bottom in the sea resembled the centipede centipede snake, as described by the old sage Nicander