A HERMETICALL BANQVET, DREST By a Spagiricall Cook: for the better Preservation of the Microcosme.
LONDON, Printed for Andrew Crooke, and are to be sold at the Green Dragon in S. Pauls Church-yard. 1652.
TO THE RIGHT HONORABLE ISACKE WAKE KNIGHT, EMBASSADOVR EX∣TRAORDINARIE IN SAVOY AND PIEMONTE, ORDINARIE FOR ITALIE HELVETIA AND RHETIA, SELECT FOR FRANCE, FOR HIS MAjESTIE OF GREAT BRITAIN, &c.
Right Honorable,
TIs our Custome in Eng∣land, on the birth Day of every Year, for the Tenant to lay down his Offer∣ing at the Altar of his Land∣lord; as an Oblation of his gratefull Servitude.
I, your Lordships Tenant, or rather, as the Anagram tells me, Natent, (confessing my self by your Lordships Solar Influence, Renated, and of a Vegetable,
made Vitall) not to abrogate Custom, do here present my Of∣fering, to manifest a strong desire of Gratitude, in the weakness of my Expressions.
Our first Wishes upon this Day, is, for a merry new Year. What better Prologue to Mirth, than a Feast? That my Offering therefore may be the Embleme of my Wishes, I have here pre∣sented your Lordship with an Hermeticall Banquet; wherein are such plenty of Cordialls, that I doubt not but it will make you heartily Merry.
I have caused it to be drest by Spagiricall Cooks; partly to pre∣serve your more Delicate Palate
from the Epidemicall Nausea of Galenicall Potions, with these our Hermeticall and Bezoartick Delicacies. And partly, because I have alwaies observ'd, in the U∣niversalities of your Lordships Studies, a particular Genius much reflecting upon this Art, as the Key of Natures Cabinet.
Expect not much Hony in your Dishes; since like a Bee, shut up in the Winter Hive of my Quarantena, and unable to fly a∣broad and rob other Mens Gar∣dens, was constrained to make use of such as I had collected in the Summer of my Youth: where I fear your Lordship will find more Wax, than Hony. I dance
little after Method, because no Methodist. Neither do I labour to oppress your Stomack with Dogmaticall Gravity.
No, I consider we are at a Feast, and therefore prefer a Jest before an Aphorisme.
How my Mirth will take, I know not, believe me it was meant well: though for want of other Musick I confess it is somewhat extravagant.
I subscribe therefore to your Lordships more mature Judge∣ment; which, like a Celestiall Influence, penetrates even the Center of Inferiour Actions.
If it pass that Magellan, it may boldly, and with a full Sail
plow through the Tempestuous Ocean of the Universe.
'Tis your Lordships appro∣bation then that must pro∣tect our weak B•rk. Your Co∣lours only displai'd, ban•sh all fears of Assaults, and make it 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
Under which Banner, I desire to serve but as a Common-Souldier: that so hereafter by some bolder Attempt, I may manifest unto the World, how little I respect superficiall Wounds, in the atchieve∣ment of some better Title, thereby to be judged worthy of so Honourable a calling,
as your Lordship hath gra∣tiously favoured me with, in making me
Your Lordships Physician and most humbly Devo∣ted Servant.
Symposiates to his Sympotae.
GEntlemen, I here place my self at the portall to bid you Welcome to an Hermeticall Ban∣quet. Who comes by the common road of invitation, to me is •east welcome. And those resolute •parks which boldly open the Door with • complement, teaching good manners •ow to temporise, believe me they shall •e exalted two Ceremonies above the •alt. Such Guest are alwayes least trou∣•lesome; they never put their Hoast to •he expence of a Prologue; raw, or rosted, •hey fal to their business; hunger brought •hem to the Duel, and when that's over∣•ome they leave the Field. I could hear∣•ily wish that all my Guest were thus
Courtlike. For so I also might have time to eat, whilst they bid themselves welcome. I dare not invite many Wo∣men, lest I quarrel with their lean man∣ners before the second Course enter. Yet some I must have of necessity to help a∣way with the sweet-meats. My Servant told me he had invited a knot of merry Gossips in the City, whose apern-strings itch'd to be here: but they sent me word that their Husbands told them it was to publike a meeting, and therefore desir'd me to excuse them, and for my sake they would be merry at Home in private.
The other Day, making use of an A∣pothecaryes •hop for a breathing, place, In comes an old Galenist, sweating, and in choler ca•ls for some Rose vinegar: I out of charity, (fearing he might have been arrested by some 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉) began to fortifie him with my younger arms, and ask'd him if he were not well. He saw I was a stranger, and therefore re∣pai'd my curtesie with a God reward
•ou Sir: and then told me he was a lit∣•le distempred with the Sulphurious in∣•olencies of certain Infernall Spirits which seiz'd upon him, passing by the Hell Dore of a Spagiricall Cooks Shop, who, quoth he, hath infected the Air •ven to the middle Region round about •im, with those pharmakouticall Mine∣•alls, Paracelsian Fopperies wh•ch he is •ow preparing to adorn a great Feast which his Master, Iatrochimicus, cele∣•rates to morrow, calling it his Herme∣•icall Banquet. Here I suspected his quick sence would have seiz'd upon me; my pockets at that infant being full of •hose Bugbears: but as it hapned he neither conceiv'd me to be either an Hermetick, Galenist, or indeed Physi∣•ian. With the better arm'd confidence •herefore I told him, that the 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 of •hat Feast was a cardiacall friend of mine; and had injoyn'd me upon the •reach of Friendship not to be absent: •ut to fill up his Feast with me and my
friends: Therefore Sir, quoth I, tha• your nose may have satisfaction, you shall oblige me beyond the force of Ce∣remony, to make your self my friend and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and accompany me thither to morrow, where, I can assure you, mirth shall supply the defect of a better welcome: the good old man more curi∣ous than hungry▪ assur'd me he would be there, were it but to tast of our new Cookery. If he come, Gentlemen, I shall intreat you to give him licence to abuse himself: for I know he will be very un∣mannerly, smelling to every Dish, like an Ape in a Hucksters Basket: nay, twenty to nothing but he so far loseth himself in this strange Land, that hee forgets where he is, and in that Lae∣thargy may disswade you from eating. Which if he doe, deprive him not of Ages attribute, which is, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Tal∣kative: but let his tongue runne-on, whilst your teeth follow. Your Pa∣lates shall here exercise in the variety
of foure Courses. And because I find how strong an Ascendent Curiosity gets houerly upon every mans Fantasy, I dare not dull your choice eares with those vulgar lowde-scraping motions which Time calls Musick; but in place thereof I have thought upon some merry Table talk, which may be more accep∣table, in reguard it is both extravagant, and ridiculous. Extravagant when •oiz'd in the Ballance of our more seri∣•us Witts: and ridiculous, to those whose infirm judgements cannot digest •t. The Iudicious I know will not cen∣sure me, because wee are here at a Feast, and not in the Scholes.
Inter pocula non est disputandum. I feare none so much as the Women I have invited: who perchance will cry, Fie upon him, he speakes bawdy. If they •e reasonable, They will pardon that, •ecause I am a Physician. But if there •e any amongst them unreasonable, I know no sweeter course, than to stop their mouths with Comfits.
EPIGRAM AENIGMA∣TICA TETRASTICHON MICROCOSMI AVCTORIS BENEVOLO LECTORI.
To please a World I never can,
It being a Task too hard for Man.
I'de please but One. So shall you see
A World there will Contented be.
A Hermeticall Ban∣quet, &c. An anthropogeographicall Grace before meat, wherein the Microcosme is Hermetically Analogiz'd to the Sublunary and Ele∣mentary Globes.
MAn was never better Baptized than by the name 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉: for whatsoever the greater World contains, the like shall you find exquisitely exprest in this little World Man. So that Man is Natures 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 or Mirrour, wherein the Eye of Reason may compendi∣ously contemplate on the great 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 his six Days Labour. There may you see the O∣riginall of Miniature, where God (as his 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 or Master-piece) hath limb'd the Worlds Pourtraict in small.
There may you read an Epitomy of his greater Volumes. So that, as one elegantly writes,
That man was made by God after the rest, that God might express in him, in a brief summary, whatever he had done extensively before. So far do these two Worlds symbolize, that a double 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 cannot separate their Analogy.
For the Hermeticks (whose Doctrine I follow) bring them both under this Duplicate, Celestiall and Elementary.
The Celestiall part, as it hath reference to the Soul, I recommend to Theologists.
I am a teacher, not a priest.
The Elementary World by his proximity and contiguity embraceth a more near Sympa∣thy with Man and therefore more agreeable and Symbolicall to our present Anatomy
If any more Criticall, than Judiciall carpe at my Dissection, let them know 'tis my first Manuall Operation: and perchance for want of Instruments answerable to my work▪ I may now and then cut a veine. Well, hit or misse, (Aud•ces Fortuna juv•t,) as I am none of those 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, so will I not proceed in their Method, who make their first Incision in the Abdomen, and so orderly penetrate the Membranes Investing the parts dedicated to nutrition. But to shew that I am a Pupill
to Paracelsus, who they call 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, I wil make a Paraphrontick 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 and with his 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 I strike first at the Elementary World, the which I cut, alla reverso, into two parts, Superior and Inferiour: allowing the Superior part, the Elements of Fire and Aer for his Portion: to the Inferiour I allot the remnant, Water and Earth.
That this separation may connect our A∣nalogy, I strike againe at this little World Man: where laying aside all Humane res∣pect, I divide the Head from the Shoulders (not comming neare the Bowels, lest I should raise some 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 which might inanimate my Spectators to a future Audience) and the Head I Symbolize with the Elementary up∣per Regions,* Fire and Aer: where we see far more Prodigious lights than any the E∣lementary Regions could ever produce. What Heart is not sensible of two blazing Stars, whose Influences present us hourely with multitudes of amazing varieties? Those when they appeare in a Serene and Clowdlesse Aer, doe they not penetrate with their A∣strophorus Rays the Center of this Earth Man, accending therein a Vestall Fire in that •ittle point, the Heart?
Doe they not (sicut radius ille fulmineus, •orio non laeso dissolvit in eo metallum) often
melt the Heart, leaving the skin unschorch'd?
Doe they not with their motion, like the Sun, cause Spring and Fall in this little World Man?
Doe they not, when in a bad Aspect, make their Catoblepick Rays instruments of Mur∣der?
Doe they not in their Exaltations, like some prodigious Comet, threaten strong Insur∣rections, Amorous Phrensies, Philogynies, Mutuall embraces, Extasies, Cardialgies, Syncopens, Symptomaticall sweats, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and the like▪ What Diogenes? what Socra∣tes? what 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 can resist those 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, when like 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, they appeare in their Zenith?
Marke how, like Straws, every Heart leaps to their Amber Influence!
How▪ with the North Star, they make every mans Verticall Needle dance after their Magneticall Influence.
In this Superiour Region likewise, the Head, have we not that Ignem Fatuam, O∣pinion, which leads so many men a wooll-gathering▪ in the dark Night of Philautia: untill being over fool'd and mislead by that false light, Confidence, they tumble at last into a 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Ditch?
Have we not here those erratick Spirits▪
Hobgoblins, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, which fright so many out of their wits?
Are not here those Platonicall Genii, good and bad, which governe every Mans affairs, giving him either a gratefull applause in his publike actions, or a neglected scorne in all his proceedings?
To the Inferiour Regions of the Elemen∣tary World, the Vitall, and parts are ser∣viceable to Nutrition, are (by the Hermeticks) analogiz'd.
For as in the Entrals of the Earth (partly the exhaling vertue of the Suns rays, partly by Astrall Influences, as also by a proper and inbread heat of the Earth) many variable Species of Exhalations and vapours are exci∣ted which are the Essence of so many mixt and imperfect Bodies there generated, such as are those diversities of Sulphurs, Minerall salts, Bitumens, Mercuriall humidities, &c.
So likewise in this Terrene Globe Man, we find no lesse variety generated: Here being Saccharine salts▪ Nutritive.
Nitrous, Amare, and Acute salts, Purga∣tive, and Abstersive.
Salts Marine, which are Balsamicall, and Conservative.
Aluminous and Pontick, which are Steg∣noticall, Stypticall, and Corroborating the Retentive faculties.
And lastly Acide, Vitriolate and Esurine Salts, which Concoct, Distribute, and excite Apetite.
There is likewise found in this Microcosme as many Species of Bitumens, Napthae, Re∣sinarum, Pinguedinarum, Lachrymarum, Gummi, and such like sorts of Sulphurs, as there are of the forementioned Salts: and those likewise produce effects answerable un∣to their qualities.
For there is one sort of Sulphur which is Odoriferous and Fragrant; Recreating and Renovative.
An other Faetide, Narcoticall, and Stupe∣factive.
A third Hypnoticall, Papaverine, and Somniferous.
A fourth Anodinous.
A fifth Septicall, Arsenicall, and Pestife∣rous.
And the sixt Cardiacall, Vitall, and Sa∣lutiferous.
Here to Illuminate these two Worlds A∣nalogies, with more eminent Demonstrati∣ons: the Veins and Arteries, are they not so many Rivers, dispers'd through the whole Continent, lending in their motion, to every part their proper Aliment and desir'd Moi∣sture? and doe they not likewise Imboak and
evacuate their superabounding Humidities into the Ocean of the Bladder? Which Blad∣der Ocean hath it not his Flux and Reflux, observing his Tydes for high and low Wa∣ter? And doe you not see his Channels often so obstructed with the Sands and Gravell of this Sea▪ that the Water is denied his Natu∣rall passage? Is not this Sea-water, Salt and brakish? whose Virtus lapidescens, doth it not hourely produce innumerable species of Stones and Lapidary Vegetables whose Forms and Colours are no lesse variable than their number• some being red and Coralline. O∣thers lesse compact whose Rare and Spungy bodies emulate the Pumice; Others againe so vast, solid ragged, and mis-shappen that they appeare so many Rocks threatning wrack to Mans weak Back.
To give yet a greater light to these our A∣nalogicall Instances, 'tis requisite that I run over my first draught with more lively and per•picuous shadows lest that some of my Guests to ease their Doubts▪ should consult with some Dogmatist, and he abuse truth, by the strength of his Methodicall Ignorance.
The chief point therefore which will oppose your Common sense (at having long since stagger'd Galenicall Philosophy and made them almost reele out of their Method) is
those Sulphurs, Bitumens, Vitriolated Salts, Mercuriall Liquors, Muscilaginous Tartars, and such like, which Hermeticks so rational∣ly demonstrate to be generated in our Mi∣crocosme.
Here you must expect but a leane satis∣faction, if you take Counsell of a Galenist. For they will allow man to be 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, an E∣pitomy of the greater World: but the sym∣bolizations which must adde perfection to the Analogy they invidiously renege.
Aske them why? and they answer, that they are dissonant to Galen's Principles: and that they never found more in Man than the four humors Blood, Choler, Phlegma, and Me∣lancholia.
This is just an answer given in Method. Good Methodist, why doe you not aswell blot out Cassia, Tamarindi, Mechiocan, Gutta Gamandra Zalappa, and many other Neo∣tericall and Exotick Catharticks, forth from your Moderne Dispensatories, since your two great Masters, Hipocrates and Galen never knew any of them?
Obstinacy joynd with Ignorance makes your errours impardonable. Lay aside but a while those Immense Volumes and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 on Hippocrates, Galen, Avicen, Rhasi; A∣verrhoes,
Aetius, &c. Cast away your Nau∣seous Potions, Infusions, Decocts, Apozemes, and such like Antistomatica: then put on an Aperne and enter into our Spagiricall Kit∣chin: blush not to be Ignorant, but let your patience view our Fermentations, Putrifa∣ctions, Distillations, Rectifications, Cohoba∣tions, Circulations, Calcinations, Sublima∣tions, Reverberations, Solutions, Precipitati∣ons, Coagulations, Filtrations, and such like enucleating Preparations: there you shall see Nature out of her smock, and in that naked∣nesse, her secrets so far laid open, that you will admire her modesty blusheth not.
There shall you see the soule of every Vegetable separated from its Terrestriety.
You shall see opium open it self against you all, and declare his Innocency of that ex∣cessive coldnesse, which you falsely attach him withall: protesting he was never yet guilty of any cold distemper, but alwaies sleeping in the fulginious Cradle of a hot Narcotick Sulphur.
Their you shall find that 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 have their Prerogatives from a Nitious and Cathartick Salt.
That medicamenta adstringentia and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 receive their qualities from a Stegno∣tick, Pontick, and Aluminous Salt.
*That 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 operate by vertue of their Tartareous and Vitriolated Salts.
That Dolorem sedantia, are such by rea∣son of their Anodynous and Paregoricall S•lphurs with which they abound. That 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, doe renovate and reunite s•lutionem unitatis, from the be∣nignity of their Balsamicall Sulphurs and Sarcotick Mumm•'s.
And l•stl• that 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉▪ doe but execute the Tyranny of their Septick and Arsenicall Salts.
Here you shall quickly learne to correct your Father Galen's Errour, where speaking de Sopore, Apoplexia, and Epilepsia, he a little too confidently saith,
* Of these three diseases coldness is the cause, and thick or altogether slimy humor.
Which positive assertion▪ he makes more erroneous by an Apoplecticall instance, where he opposeth both moderne experience, and violates all Peripateticall Philosophy la∣bouring to prove all Apoplexies to be gene∣rated ex crasso & viscido humore.
That they were quickly generated, and resolved. That it is quickly generated, that argues rather the cause to be from the vapors and exhalations of spirits: for coarse humor cannot do without some
at intervals of time in the Brain a • clustered.
Then, that Apoplexy is never resolved immediately, but rather very painfully, I subscribe to the experience of any Apothecary's Boy.
No: when you have learned perfectly to Anatomize and analyze the Humors in our Microcosm, then you will tell Galen that such vapors or breaths, which induce vertigo, from Resinous, Tartarean, or Sulph∣reian, are contained in the Stomach, or in some other viscera: or from the more unctuous, more sulphurous substance of Blood: which sometimes carry with them a Tincture of black Soot, very efficacious for dyeing and blackening, yet on this side no acrimony; whence Scotomia originates.
That Paralysis, and Apoplexia, doe not proceed ex simplici frigiditate & crassi∣tic, sed ex acerbitate, stipticitate, & ace∣tositate Spiritus Vitrioli, Sulphuris, vel Salis in Cerebro conglaciato. And from the constriction and coarctation of those Acide and Vitriolated spirits, ariseth those monen∣tary and precipitate Apoplecticall Paroxysms. And when that Vitriolated Ice, either by force of nature, or help of art, dissolveth, and fals by the Spondyls into the Spinall marrow (nervorum propago) there, by its Acidity, Stip∣ticity, Mordacity, and Acrimony, vellicating,
stupifying and consopiating those tender-fee∣ling parts, are procreated those Paralyticall Symptoms, (stupores & indormitiones mem∣brorum) as infallible 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 to a future Pal∣sey. And lastly you shall find that Epilepti∣call Paroxysms are not produc'd ex humore simpliciter frigido & crasso, qualis creditur esse Pituita. For by this argument all Hy∣drocephali, and by consequence all Children, whose Brains swim in the Deluge of Phleg∣maticall humidities, should inherit this Dis∣ease as Hereditary.
'Tis true, that Children are most proclive to this Evill (whence Avicenna calls it mor∣bum Puerilem) yet not all; though none are free from that superfluity of Pituitous excrements. But 'tis when the Mother or 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 have ill dispos'd Milk; or when the Infant is infirme and cannot digest the Milk received, where it corrupts and sowres in the Ventricle; which corruption degenerats into an eruginous, virid, and Vitriolated virulency (ut ex eorum rejectionibus ac vomitibus hu∣jusce coloris videre est) whence are rendred those fearfull accidents of that more horrid Malady. And this Hipocrates makes more authentick, where his Oracle Prog∣nosticats your Galenicall errour in this Apho∣risme.
The Melancholic Councils are easy to become and the Melancholic Councils.
Though I presume he never suspected such complexions to abound with acide and Vi∣triolated humors.
Come! let us to worke then: and let not your Lady hands make any conscience in pick∣ing the Colliars Purse. Off with arts Epide∣micall delicacies, and learne first to make Glasse malleable with the Fat of your Mo∣thers Entrals. And then our Freshmans first operation (the Sublimation of Wine) shall be my instance, to prove that the veins of Mans little Earth doe flow with Minerals and Se∣miminerals, no lesse than those of the grea∣ter worlds Earth.
Whilst our Coals are kindling therefore let us sit down, and rub up our Sophistry a little, that the World may see, per Artem Spagiricam, we can rectifie errours, by the Circulation of reason, and the Cohobation of Experience.
Reason therefore thus disputes.
If there is a great abundance of such vitriol, mercury, sulphur, and salt in the many vegetables on which we are nourished, and from which the blood is made, it follows that the blood is polluted by the like.
But in Wine, Beer, Fruit, Pyration,
&c. such Sulfur & Salt are found. Therefore.
Your tutor Galen I know hath taught you to say nego minorem. Your own experience too perchance (in the Sublimation of so many Qua•t Pots) can confute me who in none of those l•quors could ever see or tast any such imaginary Salts.
Yet me thinks I over-heare a secret confessi∣on acknowledge that in many Wines which have past a triall of Fire, you have often found store of Saccharine Salts
Sweet Sir be not then so glucupricontical∣ly obstinate: but let's to work, and make the Alembick our moderator. I will give you an instance in a cup of Claret, to excite ala∣crity in our operations, and to extract your errours out of your own Element. In this distillation your dullest sense shall feele the truth of our argument and you shall see in this enucleation of Wine both Vitriolated, Nitrosulphureous, and Tartareous Salts; which demonstrated, Consequence shall force your beliefe to acknowledge the same in our blood.
By the way I desire you to be patient and stir not, lest we break Glasses: for this ope∣ration is very phlegmatick; and your Choler may alter our degree of heat, and so produce
an Empyreuma in our Aquavitae. Stand quietly therefore with expectation (like a Spaniard at the siege of a Piazz•) and pre∣sently your errour shall evaporate, and both our opinions shall dance together in a Lim∣beck. Marke therefore how true an Analogy there is between Wine and Mans bloud and then tell me whether Hermeticks nurse any Opinions but what are legitimate to reason.
From Wine, therefore, we first Sublimate the Aquavitae, by a temperat heat in Bal∣neo.
From Bloud, by the same soft naturall heat of the heart, is separated the Aquavitae also, Spiritus vitalis.
Againe from Aquavitae, by Rectification and Circulation, we extract the Spirits of Wine, a part more aethereall and essentiall than Aquavitae, a drop whereof let fall, •stius in auram evanescat, quam in terram dela∣batur. So from the Aquavitae or Vitall Spirits of the Bloud, by Rectification and Circulation in the naturall Balneo Maris of the Brain are produc'd the Animall Spirits, the which like∣wise in subtility and purenesse doe infinitely excell the Vitall.
In these preparations, remaine great quan∣tity of unprofitable Phlegme.
And is not the same in Bloud?
After the Separation of the spirits and Phleg∣ma from Wine, there remains store of dregs which abound with Sulphur, Niter, and Tartar.
The like shall you discover in the distillation of Bloud, where Choler doth aptly Symbolize with those Faeces, that being Nitrosulphu∣reous.
Of the Dregs of Wine is made Vinegar, whose Pontick and Acide Taste doth wholy resemble naturall Melancholy, which sub∣sides in the Bloud, and from whence nature supplys the Kitchin of her Stomack with Vi∣negar, her Cook using no other Sawce to ex∣cite appetite.
In the distillation of Vinegar likewise their remains a Tartareous Sediment, so sharp, black, and acrimonious, (the major part being a Vitriolated Salt) that dissolve the least quan∣tity of it in a competent part of Water, and it instantly inquinats the whole masse, making it Acide like Vinegar.
And this is likewise seen in the Bloud; for those black dregs of Vinegar, correspond unto black Choler or Melancholy Adust as you falsely call it: for it is not such, from any Adustion, as you dreame; but from the se∣paration of the Mercuriall, from their Sul∣phureous parts; by whose permixtion, before
it was made temperate, those Corrosive Salts being as it were lull'd asleep in Mercuriall Humidityes: which is evidently seen in Culi∣nary Vinegar, whose Mercuriall Phlegma not separated is edible and usefull: but those hu∣midityes by ebullition once evaporated, his Salts like drowned Flyes sensible of heat, begin to actuate, as your Tongue may taste and testifie.
'Tis evident therefore, Adustion cannot produce such Acrimonies: for give Common Water, or the Phlegma of Wine, all the ebulli∣tions and re ebullitions you can, they shall never be brought to this Acrimony which you call Adustion, because they are destitute of those Vitriolated and Nitrosulphureous Salts.
What you find in this Anatomy of Wine, the very same is likewise in Cyder, Perry, and Beer: and not our Drinks only, but all our nourishment, be it of Vegetables or Animals, abounds with those Sulphurs and Salts.
How then shall the Bloud escape from their infection? your own Master tells you talem esse Sanguinem, quale Nutrimen∣tum.
Let an ingenuous confession then coutch •his erroneous Cataract; and so without •ad∣ing
your Nose with Ages glasen Opticks, you may perspicuously discover the grosnesse of your Methodicall Errours, which envidious Ignorance would never yet suffer to be brought to the Copella of Examination.
Then armed with Truth, you may bold∣ly bring hither many a ridiculous Page of Galens to supply the defect of charta Empo∣retica.
I will not here discover any, lest Imita∣ting the Sons of Noah, I detect Paternall na∣kednesse.
No! but rather with reverence I adore the Divine Oracle of Hipocrates: acknowledg•ing Galen to be our 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉! and admiring their sedulity and Infinite labours in laying the first Foundation of 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 his Temple; tha• future Ages by their examples might dayl• adde a Stone to their Architecture, tha• so with time it might glory in Perfe•ction.
Those good old men are not to be co••temned, or neglected, because their first Prin•ciples have past the Alembick of so ma• Brains, that now all excrementitious hypo•stasis is separated, and they truely rectifie• But as Hipocrates answers for all, sa••ing,
Medicine is not obtained by infection ,
to which nothing can be added: but in which always, or something in the way of reproving, in the way of correcting, in the way of learning.
So to his ingenuous confession, I adjoyn this Absolution.
It is easier to add to discoveries than to devise them first.
Here me thinks I see som Vitriolated Sto∣macks, look sharply one upon another, and with a whispering murmur invite a Depar∣ture, saying that neither the Feasts of Apicius, Vitellius, or Heliogabalus, were thus long in preparation.
Have Patience Sirs, and know that I have invited a World: whom I purpose to entertain with a banquet, not to satiate as those of Vitellius and Heliogabalus , who from the sacros , the languages of the Pheasants, the Peacocks, and the Luscines, and the tables were filled with a kind of unheard of and unusual food, prepared and prepared at great expense.
No! to those Feasts I recommend Cleo∣nenes, Lacydes, Q. Ennius, Dionysius Minor, Mycerinus, Timocreon, Rhodius, Bonosus, Val. Aurelianus Imp. Mutonius, Philoxenes, Me∣anthus, and the like Gluttonous Idolaters of •• at loathsome Goddess Intemperance.
Here you must enter i•to the Athenian and Lacedemonian schools of Temperance, where Zeno, Aristippus, Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato, Cicero, and such like sober guest, shall perswade you to a temperate Diet.
Yet will I not confine you to the strict Laws of Solon and Licurgus, and so present you only with Galenicall Sallads.
No, your Temperance shall heer consist in Delicacyes: We will be Prodigall, yet Spa∣ring: Your Stomacks shall be Italionated with puoco•e buona▪ little dishes but great nou∣rishers: famish the Eye▪ but satisfie Nature.
For here every Dish shall be so Spagirically drest, and Essentially ordered, that every man shall depart hungry, yet fully satisfied.
My Cooks do not like Galens set all boil∣ing as soon as the Pot is over the Fire; So we might Operam & Oleum perdere, all our Fat might be quickly in the Fire.
No, as our Physick, so are our Fires, Na•turall and Temperate, the which must be ser∣ved with Time and Phlegme.
I here therefo•e follow the old Custom o•England: when Guests are invited and th• Cook somewhat tedious, the Symposiastes o• Patron of the Feast, with merry Tales an• winning discourse labours to beguile time, an• ease the expectation of his hungry Guest.
As neer as I could therefore I have given you exercise before meat, proper for the Ali∣ment provided for you in my Banquet: and between every Course I shall interlard your lean Dishes with wholesome though ridicu∣culous Mirth.
And my chiefest care shall be not to pre∣sent any Dish that shall either be nauseous or unsavory: but all such as may answer the Delicacy of your most delicate Pa∣lates.
My Anthropogeographicall Mapp, di∣viding our Microcosme into four parts, I al∣low every Part his preservative, and from thence make foure Courses.
The first Course is Stomaticall, the second Cephalicall, the third Hepaticall, and the last Cardiacall.
Now then as soon as you please, wash and fall to: and to imitate mine Host, be merry, for you are wel-come Gentle∣men.
THE FIRST COURSE STOMATICALL.
THe reason why I begin with the Stomaticall part of the Micro∣cosme, is, because we are at a Feast. And indeed such a Feast where every one shall find Appetite in his Dish.
This Part being likewise our Cooks judgement Hall (where Pallatus sitteth aloft as Judge, and Appetitus his Baylieff under him, summoning every Dish to his triall) 'tis requisite that we here first make our Exami∣nation before we fall to Execution.
Besides as it is the Microcosmes Kitchin, it must of necessity be first supply'd, since the whole World is nourisht by his Alms.
The Stomack also is the Physitians best Al∣manack
by which he Prognosticats what weather is likely to insue, and what alterati∣ons are to be expected from the middle Re∣gion of the Microcosme. 'Tis necessary there∣fore that we first look into that: for when we have discover'd his indispositions and distem∣pers, we shall the better learn how to preserve the whole Microcosme.
Every one therefore which is carefull of his best Treasure, Health, must first reflect up∣on this Part, as the little Worlds Nurse, which duly sendeth her Milk by the Mesera∣icks, unto every Part.
If this our Nurse therefore have by disor∣der, or bad Diet, her Milk or Chylus inqui∣nated, how can the other Parts her Chil∣dren expect health from such corruptible Nourishment?
For the error of the first interpretation is not corrected in the Second.
Such as the Devil is, such is his Broth: and from sowre Cream we must not expect sweet Butter.
That my Guests therefore may not sit pick∣ing their Teeth for want of Apetite, I will here give you a Catalogue of those Principles wch Nature presented unto that great Monarck of the Microcosme (when she first establisht him in his Dominions) to the end he might
Page 5
injoy a peaceable and quiet Reign.
And as neer as I can I will deliver them verbally as I found them (in my Travells through the Stomaticall Territories) ingrav'd in every Portall of the Prime Governers, and Prophylacticks of those Parts. And they are these,
1. Never oppress the Stomack with such Satiety, that it may produce either nauseam, or Crudityes.
2. Oblige not the Stomack to any deter∣minate hours of eating or drinking: for your worldly affairs will often give a Diversion to those Puntilii, misplacing the Gnomon of your Appetites Horologe either more backward, or more forward.
3. But if possible, Famem cibus, sitim po∣tus expectet. When Hunger begs▪ be Charita∣ble and feed her. And if thirst put a dry jest upon you, answer her as Inns of Court Gentle∣men do Schollers, and drink to her.
4. Nitrosulphureous Stomacks, let their drink exceed their meat: as of Mercuriall and Tartareous, the Contrary.
Let all overmoist, unctuous▪ and viscous Aliments, which by relaxation debilitate, be reserv'd for Watermen as a nourishment suita∣ble to their Exercise.
5. Do not challenge Nature to the Duell
Page 4
of hard Digestions: lest finding you raw Spi∣rited▪ and no g•eat Stomake to the Quarrell, She, unable to digest such affronts, make you confess your own weakness, and so leave you.
6. All Flatulent meats you shall recom∣mend to Marriners and Ship-boyes, whose windy re•uctancies may help in a Calm to fill the main Sheet. From my Banquet likewise I banish all such meats, as Guest too turbu∣lent and rebellious: since we here desire Mirth and not Blows.
7. Let not Judge Pallatus be corrupted with rich Presents of Fish or Fruits; and ad∣vertise your Baylieff Appetitus, not to be brib'd by the delicacy of their tasts, and bid the great Porter your Mouth that he stand not gaping on the Dishes whilst the Fish leap in: for believe me this may ruin the whole Re∣publick.
8. If any one have a sweet-Tooth, let him lick it with a sowre Tongue: for, meats exactly sweet, must alwayes be allayed with some Acide Corrective, and made dolce picanti, otherwise they are not edible.
9. Let the Body have his Exercise, before the Stomack his Collation: and let Na∣ture evacuate her Superfluities before ei∣ther.
Page 5
10. At Table, be sure that your Teeth la∣bour like so many Gally slaves, keeping true stroke with the Hand. For Mastication is of many esteem'd the first Concoction: and none will deny but that 'tis Natural-heats best A∣gent; for meats well masticated, are half digested.
11. Of Drinks, Claret (whose ruby Tin∣cture, emulating the blush of Aurora, allures more Souls to the courts of Bacchus, than he hath stools to entertain them) is the Stomacks best Favorite.
12. Be not fearfull at any time of a second Deluge, and so make your Stomack Noahs Ark▪ tumbling in at one Past promiscuously all sorts of creatures, as Beefe, Mutton, Lamb, Pigs, Capons, Chicken, Pheasants, Larks, &c. Why the confusion of Babel was not greater. Do but Imagine what a horrid incounter this is to weak Nature, when she finds a Chaos of Imperfect Bodyes brought into her Operato∣ry, there to be digested, united, made homoge∣niall, and assimulated into a perfect Body. Why hoc contra naturam Opus est! Nature must prepare new Vessels for this Operation; for she fears the Old will crack and the Fire go out.
Me thinks I see her so puzzled in this work, that faint sweats water her Temples; and her Lungs, with overblowing to preserve so weak
a heat under her overcharg'd Alembick, begin to double their motion: she grows dull and febrish▪ so that at last, with a drowsie Lassi∣tude, her Lamps being almost out, not able to hold up any longer, lets fall her Tongs, com∣mits all to Fortune, and sleeps. Believe me in these disorders you scrue Nature to the Ze∣nith of •er Patience. And who ever makes his Teeth guilty of such Massakers, violates her Laws so far▪ that at last she will give him over as an Arch Heretique. When occasion therefore shall tempt you with such varieties, let them serve only as a Perspective to the Opticks: let your Eyes feed on all; but let Appetite satisfie it self with some one Dish most Sympaticall to your Stomack and obe∣dient to Digestion. For in one Dish fear it not, but you shall meet variety enough to keep all Natures Cooks in Exercise.
Yet if any one have a Caprizzious Palate, that will daunce after his own Pipe and con∣temnes the Regular Musick of Dieteticall Method, Yet at least let him keep some Ho∣mogenity in his choise, nam dissimilia quae sunt seditionem movent: and withall let him be sure to take Temperantia for his Maid Mar∣rian to make up the Dance.
This Lady Intemperantia is Prologue to all Maladies; who with the sweet Oratory of her
Page 7
bewitching Delicacies, winns our Audience to an insuing Tragedy.
She is like Adams Apple, pleasant, and though the Devil were Cook down it must.
She labours to make every Man sell Na∣tures Portion for a Mess of Pottage. Health, as our good Genius, is vigilant in our preser∣vation; but she negligent of her Graces, hath invented that loathsome Rack of Gluttony to Martyr us.
'Tis now a Vice too generall: and no Man but is ambitious to hear his Table groan un∣der the burden of Plenty.
But stay! I have almost leapt out of a Limbeck into a Pulpit. Pardon me Sirs: for if I preach, 'tis not for a Benefice: a fat Goose will content me. Neither do I rail at Intem∣perance to make you partiall to my Dishes: No, fall to on Gods name, and spare nothing that either Palate or Appetite shall point at. For here you have licence to embrace Variety, it being all Homogeniall. Eat therefore and wel-come; remembring that your last Morsell be as a Ligature whose Stegnotick▪ and Styp∣tick Vertue may incatenate Naturall Heat within the purse of the Stomack, by an exact closure of his upper Orifice.
Page 8
For which effect, I recommend a Box of Marmalade to your use. Or this,
℞. Cons. roses.
Diacydon. an. ℥j.ss.
Sem. coriander before ʒj.
The salt is pearled.
Salis corallor. an.℈j.
Sprouts. roses. boy vj.
Let him choose. sa
℞. Rob de Ribes. ℥j.
Ps. Coral before ℈j.
essential you chew
Cinnamon or g. iij
When Syr. Choral Mix it up.
Or which excells all, after meals you may eate a piece of our Spagir•call Sugar of Roses (for the preparation thereof I recom∣mend you to our Spagiricall Kitchin) whose corroborating Vertue, (which is no less Ce∣phalicall and Cardiacall, as Stomaticall) I will deferr to the Encomium of your Future Experience.
The Vulgar may in these necessities content themselves with a roasted Pear or a Medlar: It were a Sin to cast Pearls amongst Swine.
Least my Banquet should seem a Vision
Page 9
or Dream, out of which you remain little sa∣tisfied, I have here dish'd out in Catalogues, aswell what is gratefull as offensive to the Stomake: that every man may the better avoid the abortive meats of Ignorance. I desire you therefore to put them up in your Hanker∣chers in place of Comfits, and carry them home to your Children.
Things corroborating and acceptable to a weak Stomack distempred by Heate.
Marmalade.
Cons. of red Ros.
Currans.
Chichory roots condition.
coral
Mediator.
Strawberryes.
Sorrell.
Pomegranates.
Pears bak'd, or roasted.
Melons.
Mulberryes.
shores
Barberryes.
Sowre Cherryes.
Orenges.
Lemons.
Compounds.
Elect. by Sorbis.
Elect. bac. Myrt.
Page 10
Diarrhod. Ab.
Diatrion. Santal.
And all such things whose acide and stip∣tick tasts are united by a temperate mixture.
Things corroborating and acceptable to a weak stomack distempered by access of Cold and Moisture. Cal. arom.
Mastick
Mints.
Sage
Capers
Sampire
Worm-wood.
Fennell.
Cinnamon
Row. Cyprus.
With pita.
Rosemary
Iunip. ber.
Caroway.
Anise.
Fennell-seed.
Wood of Aloes.
Galingall.
Zedoaria,
Thymus.
Calamint.
Cubeb•.
Test.
They are beautiful.
Walnut. musk.
Lean
Garyoph.
Piper.
Cardamom.
Satureia.
A broom.
Combined.
flavored pink
Diana
Diacyminum.
Diazinzib.
Elect. of Citr.
pink new
Be respected.
Diaxylaloes.
Diacynamom.
Diatrionpip.
Elec. ex bac. lau.
diapolitical
The Stomack hath many particular ene∣mies, whom he abhorrs with that detested
Page 11
Nauseo, that when he finds them in his kit∣chin, he is never well till he hath frighted them out with hot Water. And those are
Galenicall potions.
Raw Onions.
Radishes.
Old Nuts.
Rochetts.
Garlick.
Cucumbers.
Fat meats.
All cold things.
Green soure fruits
Brains.
Much use of Oil.
Pompoms.
Blites.
Thunderstorm.
Cole-words.
Hellebor.
Page. relaxes.
Aloes unwash'd.
Scamon. ill praep.
Salt Fish.
Butter.
Cream.
Legumin. non ex∣cort.
But stay! me thinks there is a Crust of Ga∣lens brown bread leapt into your Broth Gen∣tlemen! Pray let it lie since 'tis in; for it must (like an artificiall Velvet mole in fair Faces) give our Bread the greater lustre
Good Galen! was there never a Searce maker in your dayes▪ to teach you how to se∣perate the unprofitable Bran from the Flower, but you must needs choke your Patients with brown Bread-Cawdles. What Pollicy drew you into the Method of making Remedies more maligne then the Disease.
Page 12
But alas good old Man, he is no whit cul∣pable since nihil perfectionem in principio gaudet. He left the Embryo of his Labours for future Ages to perfect and preserve from abortment. He gave us the first, and true De∣sign of Health, and left us the Scizza. Her∣meticks they have wrought it to Life, adorn∣ing it with the naturall Colours, Tinctures, and Spirits themselves: so that their Industry hath made them so excellent in this Art of Painting, that had they but such a coppy of the Soul, I think they would ease Nature, and make her Creatures for her.
I would gladly understand then why our Neotericall Dogmatists do not endeavour to perfect this Designe of their Masters: or at least why they will not take a Coal in Hand, and adde a shadow to the perfection of his Scizza.
No, by no means their hands shall not be guilty of our Venemous Mineralls.
They dare not enter into the Hell of our Laboratory for fear the Spirits fly about their Fars. They say we preach new Doctrine, and labour to silence us; Mineralls they all dis∣claim as Venemous yet all their principal An∣tidotes are infected with them.
Who doubts of this let him examine Me∣repsus his Book de Antidotis (where he hath
Page 13
selected the choisest and most authentick com∣positions of all the select Band of Galenists) there you shall finde more than a hundred Antidotes whose Basis and principal ingredi∣ents are either Mineralls or Semi mineralls, and those crude and unprepar'd. There in Anti∣doto persicae Pauli, you shall see both crude Sulphur, and five dragmes of unpraepar'd Ar∣senick, which I suppose he intended for an 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. In Antidoto. cap. 303. Musae Apollionio adscripta the same Arsenick is imbrac'd as a principal Ingredient. Dioscori∣des likewise, doth he not prescribe a dragme of raw Vitrioll mixt with Hony as a prime Secret against those Ascarides, and for such whose wanton Palate hath opprest Nature with Venimous Fungi? In that Divine Panacea, that so admir'd Chaos of Druggs, Theriaca, is not Calcitis an Ingredient? In Mirepsus his Mithridate is not calcin'd Lead cald in as one of the Jury? Are not Lapis Lazulus and Lap. Armenus, two of your Familiar Spi∣rits against Melancholy.
Again they say Mineralls are too violent in their Operations. Let them look well into their Vegetables, and then tell me if Tithi∣malus, Thapsia, Helleb. alb. & nig. Pityusa, Elatorium, Colocynthis, Turpetum, Bryonia, Scammonium, Thymelaea, Chamelaea, Cycla∣minus,
Page 14
&c. Do not emulate the violence of the most Tyrannicall Minerall, torturing every Nerve on the Rack of Convulsions.
Here I lose my self in admiration to see so many famous Physitians of our Times lie puz∣zling in the Dust of Ignorance; where losing their Eyes they lye groaping in the Dunghil of their Drugs, whilst the Hermeticks pick out the Pearls.
They see that every Mans Stomack riseth a∣gainst their Physick; and yet they will still persecute poor Nature, •oftner frighting then curing Diseases.
Go to a Methodist, tell him your Stomack is debillitated by a cold distemper, and he will presently prescribe you the Decoction of Anise, Rew, and Parsely Seed, with Diatrion-Piperion, Diacalamint. Theriaca and the like.
If your weakness proceed from heat and cholerick humors, he bids you purge with Hiera Picra (Galenae Stomaticall Panacaea) and to drink Endive and Succory Waters, mixt with Vinegar. Why this is pure Judaical Physick imitating the Cure they used to our Saviour, when he suffered Thirst on the Cross.
Me thinks as the Old Law is, so their Phy∣sick likewise should be abrogated.
Be not dismaid at these Relations good Guest! for here He promiseth your entertain∣ment
Page 15
shall be more Christian like. And when your Microcosme shall discover any such di∣stempers, retire to our Spagiricall Kitchin, over whose Door you shall find written, Sapores palato ingrati procul absint. There you shall not be allur'd to give Christian buryall to a Jewish Potion, by perswasive Apologies: but believe me, the sweetnesse of your cure, shall bring a plesant recompence to the bitterness of your Malady.
Whosoever therefore is subject to any de∣bilitation of the Stomack: proceeding from a mixt distemper of Humors, be they Tartarius, Vitriolate, Nitrosulphureous or Mercuriall: let him before he tast of our Preservatives, first secure the Stomack from all such false Usur∣pers, by taking one, two, or three grains of our Hermeticall Panchymagogon. For La∣dyes and such delicate Tempers, one graine renders a compleat Operation. You may mix it with any Dissolvent your Stomack most ap∣proves of; as Wine, Bear, Broth, Posset-drink, or any liquidity. Or you may lend it the form of a Pill by addition of some Conserve, Mar∣malade, Quidiny Geladine or the like. 'Tis not guilty either of Tast or smell, neither doth it seek by Violence to put any man out of his humor. No, you shall find it as good a Fel∣low as may be; and one that will dance after
Page 16
the Caprizzio of every ones humor. For if they be Cholerick, and will at the first Dash con la Furia Francese, give a Scalado by the upper Orifice; he straight Consents, helps, and follows. Or if they abound with Spanish Phlegma, and desire rather to entrench them∣selves first, and so make a long Seidge; why, he plays the Pyoner, there too, and flings out as fast as the stoutest. Believe me the Operation hereof is miraculous, and the little Experience which I have made would consume Volumes in the Description; but as from my purpose I defer it to some better Occasion. Here I la∣bour only to preserve, not to Cure. If Na∣ture therefore suspect any Summer Assault, by Acute and malignant Fevers, Tertians, Pluri∣sies, or the like; this taken in the Spring breaks their Designes. If she fear any Autumnall Skirmish or Winter Seidge, by some Cronicall Disease do but scowre the Enemies Trenches with this Artillery and (under God) I dare promise her Peace.
The preparation of this Panchymagogon is thus. You must first rob our Hermetticall Cu∣rier when he rides Post to Caelum Christalli∣num, and take from him two ounces of his false Diamonds.
Then open a Vein in your Mothers Belly, and from her Coagulated Bloud you shall
Page 17
pick out ℥ij. of the bones of the 7. Planets great Grandmother these you shall charm in∣to Butter, and then Season it for your Winter Service.
But if any of you fear a Vomit by reason of a streight Chest, I recommend him to our Tetrapharmacon Panchymagogon, whose O∣peration is exprest in an easie and low Stile, never ambitiously reaching at those high streins.
Having thus scowr'd your Ditches, and cast up your Parapetts, that your Fort may be strong for Battery, now you must begin to fortifie your Walls, and look to your Out∣works; renue your weak Flanks, and let Na∣ture, your Inginier, search where and what Part is most subject to the Mine and there prepare her Counter-Mines: For by strength∣ing and preserving this Piazza, you need not fear the whole World.
If therefore the Winter of your Complexi∣on produce a weakness to the Stomack, by the Ice of his violent and cold distemper you shall disgeal it with this Insuing Elixir, which is the Stomacks proper Balsamum.
℞. Cinnamon
Zedoariae.
Cardamom.
Maceris an. ℥j.
Page 18
Garyophyl.
Nuc. Mosh.
Cubeb. an.℥j.ss.
Galanoae. ʒiij.
Piper. long.ʒvj.
Garyoph. hortens.
Praise. Rub.
Flower. Buglos.
Flor. Menthae Rom. an. M. j.
Leaf Menth. Rom.
Absinthe whether M. ss.
Bruse them small in a Mortar, and adde thereto ten ounces of the Crum of white Bread. Put all into a Glass Cucurbita, and powre thereto of the best Sack as much as they can drink, with two fingers depth ad∣vantage: close your Glass according to art, then give it 8. dayes Fermentation: which done adjoyn this Emulsion.
℞. Amygd. dulc. excort. lb. ss.
Aqua. Roses.
Buglos. an. lb. ij.
Sacchar. white ℥iij.
Make an emulsion.
Then distill all in Balneo secund. breathe.
Page 19
The Dose is two spoonfulls an hour before and after, meat.
Here follows an other more excellent.
℞. Spir. Wine, with the Spirit.
Sem. Anisii animato. lb.j.
Theriacae.℥j.
Confect. Alcher.℥ss.
Specier. Diarrhod. Ab.
They are beautiful.
You are lean.
Cinamom. an.ʒj.
Cut. Citri. ʒiij.
The Ginger, Mace, Cinamon and Citron-peeles, being all grosly beaten, mix all toge∣ther, and in Balneo by a gentle heat, extract the Tincture. To which you shall adde these,
It is dyed. Succini
Tinctur. Corallor. an.℈j.
It is dyed. Gold
being to pearl year gut xx.
Spir. Menthar.
Spir. Faenic.
Spir. Melissae an.℥ss.
Sprouts. Roses. ℥j.
Essence of Saccia. ℥ij.
It is dyed. Crocus gut. 17
Page 20
Who please may proceed farther in this Preparation, by separating the Spirits from the first Theriacall Tincture▪ in Balneo vapo∣roso, which Spirits being Sublimated, he shall find at the bottom of his Cucu•bita an Ex∣tract or coagulated Tincture, admirable in Corroborating the Principle Parts, specially the Heart and Stomack and far surpassing the Common Theriaca against all pestilential and infectious Aer.
Then to those Spirits thus separated from their Tinctures you may adde the other fore∣mentioned Tinctures. And who ever can at∣tain to this, believe me he enjoyes a Treasure worthy of a Princes Cabinet: whose vertues are so infinite▪ that they would lose them∣selves in Expression. It asswageth all inward dolours of the Stomack, Heart, Liver, Bow∣els, &c. And that on an Instant. 'Tis a Pana∣caea, in all Pestilentiall Fevers, both Prophy∣lactick and Therapeutick. It corroborates all the Vitall Parts, and renovates the Oyl of Ages decaying Lamp. To conclude, it recalls a departing Soul by rendring the Annuall Tri∣bute which weak Natures exhausted Treasu∣ry could no longer disburse.
Hippocras and Artificiall Aromaticall Wines are much in use with us in England: & not without Cause, since they have a peculiar
Efficacy in repairing Cold, weak, and decay∣ing Stomacks.
That those therefore which honour my Feast, may at all hours, and on any occasion, prepare a Quart of Hippocras for their Friends in an Instant: I will favour them with this insuing Hippocraticall Ex∣tract.
. Cinamom. ℥ij. vel iij.
Garyophyl. ℥ss.
They are beautiful.
Macropip.
Cardamom.
Great. Stop.
Galanea an. ʒij.
Nuc. Mosh. ʒj.ss.
Being all grosly powdred, put them into a Glass Violl, and powre thereon of the Spir. of Wine to the eminence of 4. fingers, Stop your Glass close, and set it in Balneo, or in Summer in the Sun, for the Space of three or four Dayes, untill the Spirits have rob'd the Aromaticks of their Tinctures: this done, se∣parate it from the Faeces, and reserve it for your use.
When any of you therefore desire a Cup of Hippocras, mix but ʒ.ss. of this Tincture
with a Pint or more of Sack, adding what Quantity of Sugar you please, or which is bet∣ter the Essence of Sugar, and your desire is an∣swered: a Glass of which with a Toast, be∣fore meat, gives no small Check to a cold di∣stemper.
Here likewise I present a Tast of Spagiri∣call Cla•et to your weak Stomacks, by the of∣ten use of which, neither Crudities or Ventosi∣ties shall impaire your Digestion.
℞. Cinnamon. ℥ij.
Maceris. ℥ss.
Dactyllor whether 20
Myccbal. whether 4.
Uvar. passul. ℥v. well 6.
Sem. Anisi.
Coriander. prae. the. ℥j.
Faenicul. ℥ss.
With the Spirits of Wine and Canary Sack of each lb iij. being mixt set them in some cool Cellar to ferment the space of four or five Dayes. Of this you may take one or two spoonfulls in a morning.
If I mistake not I heard some of you call for a glass of Wormwood Wine.
I have none ready prepared: but here is a little Violl of the Spirits of Wormwood with
Page 23
which who please to make a Triall and put •ut some few drops in a glass of ordinary white Wine, he shall find his desire satisfied with a Cup of exquisite Wormwood Wine, far more effectuall then any Galenicall macerati∣•n or Infusion,
And that your defect may be supplied when this small quantity shall be exhausted, I •ere lend you the receit, whereby you may •ereafter furnish your self, and pleasure a friend.
℞. It comes up. They are absent. qs pour aq. com. They stand in digestion for several days: what can be added to the fermentation? It will be distilled through the Bladder: it will come out. containing some water and oil. The oil was separated by means of a separator. The whole water of the gourd is put into a glass, and it is rectified in the bath once or twice, and at least the more spirituous part is dried, which retains the smell and taste of Absinthe.
This hath a singlar Vertue in corrobora∣•ing both Stomack and Liver, it resists putri∣•action, and deopilates obstructions, and is a •pecifical Preservative against all Stomattical •nd Intestinall Vermine. Spirit of Mints is •ikewise an excellent and peculiar prophyla∣ctick
of a Weak and cold Stomack, some few drops thereof put into a Cup of Sac• with a Toast, adjoyning a drop of the Essence of Cinamon, and taken an hour before meat.
To think to please every Mans Palate may well inlarge the List of Impossibilities: yet De∣spair shall not interrupt my Carving: and where one Dish likes not, variety shall pre∣sently bring in another. So that at length •• presume the major part shall satisfie the varia∣bility of Fancy, and give Appetite a Delight, in the Stomacks preservation.
Who then please may tast of this Spagiri∣call Stomaticall Syrupe, which in delicacy and Vertue excelleth all your ordinary Cina∣mon-Waters.
℞. Dinner gros mode dust ℥iiij. Spanish wines • . lb. ij.
Let them infuse in Balneo three dayes: then separate the Tincture from his Faeces and ad∣ding thereto lb•.ss. of pure white Sugar, put all into a Glass Cucurbita and with a boiling Balneo distill it untill it remain at the Bottom in consistence of a Syrup. So in one Operation you injoy both a Syrup and an excellent Ci∣namon Water both of which for Corrobora∣ting a Weak Stomack and expelling Melan∣choly
from a pensive Heart, may take possessi∣•n among your Secrets. But to make it more perfect, in place of Sack you shall use Spir. of Wine.
In the same manner you shall make Syrup of Nutmegs, the which is a little more Spe∣•ificall for the Stomack.
For windiness of the Stomack and Bowels you may compose the like Waters and Syrups of Annise and Caraway seeds.
But there are many whose Natures so Anti∣pathize with Wine, that both smell and tast •hereof is offensive to them. Such persons may make the above said Syrups as followeth,
℞. Dinner pulverize ℥iij. or iiij. water common qs
Set them in some cold place the space of three or four Dayes: then distill it. Then take of that distild water, lb j. Sugar lb.ss. Fiat Syrrup. s.a.
This retains the fragant Odour of Cina∣mon: and this for the Summer is more proper, to which you may adde an ounce or two of Rose-water.
Gentlemen you are too modest▪ Because my Cook▪ to follow Court Fashion, sends in his Dishes in Duplicates▪ every man expects that I
should make the Discovery.
This Lady-like nicety, had almost let a good Dish here scape for the serving men. 'Tis a meat which you have already tasted of: the difference is only in the dressing, the which is rare and exquisite.
Take the above mentioned Spirits seperated from the first Cinamon Syrupe: adde to it ℥iij. or iiij. of gross beaten Cinamon, then being exquisitely stop'd, set in a cold place untill the water have the perfect Tincture of the Cina∣mon: the which you shall separate, and to eve∣ry ℥x. adde ℥iij. or 4. of Sugar. Then in Balneo separate those Spirits from the Tin∣cture, and you have the best sort of Cinamon Water▪ together with an admirable Syrup. If you will make one yet more excellent, 'tis but adding fresh Cinamon to these last rectified Spirits, proceeding as before: and reiterating this Operation three or four times, so that the last will render you an Essence of Cinamon whose Vertues will repay your Labour with Interest.
We have in our Spagiricall Kitchin certain Stomatticall Balsams, whose descriptions I must here forbear as Frutta nova, and not yet for every mans Table. Such as are
Juniper Balsam
Balsam. Now. mosque
Page 27
Balls. Cinamom.
Balsam. Rosmar. &c.
These as they are rare and Princely, so are they Singular in Corroborating both the Stomack and the rest of the Vitall Parts, either Intrinsicall or Extrinsically applyed.
And for such over-nice and delicate Persons which either through Coyness will not, or through Weakners cannot receive any Inter∣nall remedy, let them morning and evening Externally annoint the Stomack with this Hermeticall Balsam.
℞. Butyr. Jasmines. ℥j.
Essent. Rosmar. ℈.ss.
They would be Cinnamon
Essentially. Nuc. moscow. year. ℈.j.
They would be Mastic ʒj.
Moschi.
Ambrae an. g. iiij.
Zibet. g. ij.
With Cero the virgin. million in aq. Rose he washes let it be Balsam. sa
That no man may complain for want of Bread to his Meat, you shall tast of our Spa∣•iricall Biscuit, which I recommend to all weak and moist Stomacks, especially to those
Page 28
who after some Chronicall Disease cannot di∣gest ordinary Bread.
Take lb. j. of the purest Wheat-flower, of the best refined Sugar ℥xvj. Fresh Eggs numb. xij. The Cream of Almonds extracted with the best Rosewater, ℥iiij. Essence of An∣nise, Cinamon, and Nutmeggs, an. ℈j. more or less according to the humor of your Palate: Spirit of Roses q.s. mix them according to Art▪ and thereof make your Biscuits.
There are many other sorts of Biscuits which every good Wife knows how to pre∣pare, as Regal• Biscuit, S•anish Biscuit, French Biscuit, Lorain Biscuit, Italian Biscuit, &c. Therefore as too Vulgar for our Table I omit them: Yet if any one desire a Tast, let them call to our Cook.
Now presuming upon the Phlegme of your Cold Distempers, I will call in for a Dish or two to refocillate our younger and more Sulphureous Stomacks, whose extra va∣gant disorders hath brought the Stomack so far in Choler with the Microcosme, that he refuseth to supply it with his expected Nou∣rishment: This Quarrell must not grow too hot: but tis necessary a speedy reconciliation be made, before the Stomack grow too Obsti∣nate in his Humor.
In this Case I know no better Aparater tha•
our Panchymagogon: let him bring him up to the Court of Conscience, there he will be so qualified, that you may turn him to any con∣ditions of Peace.
When you have him at this Advantage, in∣joyn him for Penance every morning to take three drops of the Spirits of Sulphur, or Vi∣triol, with as many of the Spirit of Roses mixt with a glass of Spring Water, edulcora∣ted with the Essence of Sugar. Or this
℞. Sal. Christalli. ℈.ss.
Spir. Vitriol gut. iij
Sprouts. Roses. boy 5.
They would be Sacc. qs
Aq. fountain. distillate. iiiij. Misce.
Before meat half an hour or an hour let him use this,
℞. Rob. of Ribes.
Rob. the Berber. in the. ℥j.
Spir. {sulphur} g. iij.
The salt is pearled. ℈.j. Mix it up.
After Meals, this,
℞. Conser. Corneol.
Diacydon. simp. an. ℥ij.
Page 30
Coral salt ʒj.
Spir. Salt gut vj.
Sprouts. Roses. boy x. Miss.
You which are thus distemperd, I desire you to entertain Appetite with Patience until the Third Course enter, where you may pick out Variety of Hepaticall Dishes proper to your Indisposition. In the mean time if any Inso∣lent Stomack-Worms quarrel for a breakfast before their Master be served, you shall do wel to cut off their allowance, and then turn them out of your Doors with a Powder.
℞. Corn. Cer. praep.
Coral. rub. praep. an. ℈j.
Celestial Eagle ℈.j.ss.
Worm to be afraid before
Cinamom. an. ℈.j.
Scammon. with {sulphur}. Prep. ʒj. Mix it up. A gift ℈.j.
The Furyes of Appetite being laid, now your Patience may dispence with a little Idle Table Talk, to renovate the dull'd edge of your Ape∣tites, that they may be the livelier at the Se∣cond encounter.
Page 31
THE SECOND COURSE CEPHALICALL.
HEre Dogmaticall Discipline bids me be more Compendious, and collect my Method unto Heads.
But we are Travellers, and must not be limitted: We are now landed on the Coast of the Cephalick Peninsula, a place whose Fame elevates it above all other parts of the World; and where both Tongue and Eyes of all Men sleep in Admiration. Here that great Monarck of the Microcosme hath his residence, Who is an Emperiall King, and full of Divinity: his Head being alwayes Crown'd, as a Type of his absolute and peace∣able reign even to the Worlds end.
That his more Celestiall Thoughts may not be interrupted with State Affairs he hath re∣signed
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the government of his Microcosme, (which he hath divided into three Monar∣chies) unto three of his ablest Subjects, Spi∣ritus Vitalis, Spiritus Animalis, and Spiritus Naturalis. To Spiritus Animalis, he hath given the Cephalick Peninsula, placing him neer unto himself, as his Wisest Counseller: for which consideration he hath made him likewise 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Lord Secretary.
To Spiritus Vitalis, and Spiritus Natura∣lis, he hath resigned the Government of Terra firma: an equall Division being made, the one taking the Cardiacall, the other the Hepati∣call Parts.
Spiritus Vitalis likewise being his Lord Treasurer; and Spiritus Naturalis Lord of the Cinque-Ports.
Other Information of this King (the Soul) I dare not enter into.
There is no need to speak of the sacred mysteries at present.
Yet I will shew you a reflection of his great∣ness in the glass of his Nobility and Court, which I will here Carve into Descriptions which may serve you as Picktooth's and Ta∣ble Talk, untill our Cook shall stop our Mouths with the second Course.
Know then that this King is retir'd into the Cephalick Peninsula, where his Highness is
Page 33
lodg'd in an Emperiall Palace, whose Fa∣bricks are all of pure Ivory.
There the Architect, Emblematically expres∣sing Perfection (and that the Microcosme might not want his Epitomy) hath united all in a Sphaericall Figure.
The walls of his Court are invironed with a pleasant Forrest: the naturall plantation of whose Trees make so intricate a Laborinth, that tis a delightfull pastime for the Ladies of Honor, every morning for exercise, to lose themselves an hour or two in the Crispie twirles of those Aromatick Thickets. There likewise they sport themselves with young Harts, which they find often so intangled, that unable to resist, they rely on the mercy of those weak Females, suffering themselves to be fool'd withall, untill pitty shall send them Li∣berty. Sometimes more aged Harts (whose Actaeon plumes calculate their Nativity) are secretly insnar'd, and lock'd so fast, that their relief is desperate, insomuch that they lie and pine away in the Iealousie of their own weak∣ness.
The Ladies of this Court are so particu∣larly delighted with the pleasant chase of the Hare, that Day and Night the poor Creatures take little rest; hourly new engines being in∣vented to intangle them. So that every day
Page 34
there falls more than all the court Dogs can eat and scape choaking.
As you approach this Regall Palace, your Heart is Planet-stroke by two Celestial lights fixt in the Frontispiece: Whose Magick Fires captivate the souls of yong Courtiers, making their Noble servitude seem an Imperiall li∣berty.
Those are the Lights which lead Men in∣to Fools Paradise, where they study Idolatry in a Looking-glass. If you can pass the In∣fluence of those Stars; you may enter the Great Gate (the Mouth) which at a word speaking is opened.
This is strongly fortifyed with Ivory Per∣cullises set in Mosaick. Here you are present∣ly incountred by that wanton Portress Lin∣gua, who cannot speak to a man without wagging of her Tail, she recommends you to her Lady and Mistris Eloquentia, who with sweet complements, and Court Ceremonies, invites you presently to a view of this Imperi∣all Palace: and so shews you first the out-Chambers of the five Lady Sences: then leads you up to the Lodgings of the Princes Phan∣tasia, which is the prime side of the Court for good fellowship.
There you shall find this Princess, with the nine Virgin Muses dancing a Phantasti∣call
Page 35
Brando to the melody of the Lady Mu∣sica.
Here she shews you the Chambers of all the seven liberall Sciences, whom Phantasia hath honor'd with severall Offices. Geometria is her Carver, Arithmetica keeps her Ac∣counts. Rhetorica is Mistris of the Ceremonies. Grammatica governes the Pages. Astrolo∣gia serves in place of a Ieaster, and tells For∣tunes to provoke mirth. Musica, all the World knows her Charge. Poeta is her Mi∣nion, to whom she resignes the whole govern∣ment of her Family. She makes Hay whilst the Sun shines; and prefers all her poor kind∣red to severall Places in the Court.
Ovid she makes Major-domo. Homer because a merry Greek Master of the Wine-Cellars. Aretine (for his skill in Postures) growing old, is made Pander. Shack-spear, Butler. Ben Iohnson, Clark of the Kitchin, Fenner his Turn-spit, And Taylor his Scul∣lion.
All these have their chamber-doors pester'd with sharking Players, Fidlers, Ballad-singers, and such like hangers on.
Next, she carryes you to the middle Lodg∣•ngs, where the Viceroy of the Cephalick Pe∣•insula is Lodged, next dore unto the Great King Animus.
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This Viceroy atten•s wholly unto his King and Master: putting over all Publique affairs into the hands of the Lord Intellectus, his Fa∣vorite, who governes all.
Yet Spiritus Animalis, having found him often corrupted by inferiour Members, dares not trust him too far, but for the better securi∣ty of the Peninsula, he hath Five fair Ladyes, as secret spyes to inform him dayly how every part is govern'd.
The Lady Visus hath her commission to have an Eye on both sides, and to look to eve∣ry part, specially the more Noble, and to ob∣serve their Humor and Disposition towards Intellectus, and whether they render freely their Tribute.
The Lady Auditus is commanded to lend an Ear to Chamber Discourses of those Court Gossips, Lingua, Rhetorica, &c. Who make every Festivall Day, a Day of Parliament.
Lady Tactus is bid now and then to han∣dle them somwhat ruffly: So to try who is most touchy, and if in their choler they be subject to Rebellion, and disobedient to the Laws published by Intellectus.
Lady Gustus is injoyned to be alwayes at his Table as Tastress; to prevent the Malice of some treacherous Humor, which by casting some Soporiferous mixture into his Dish, he
Page 37
might be deposed by an Apoplexy.
Lady Olfactus she smells to every ones chollar: and like an Ape suffers nothing to pass the Court Gate, but she must have a Nose in it.
Here you shall see that Fountain Somnus (the true Helicon) where Orpheus sits and playes sweet Requiems to the Nine Lady Muses, Memoria, and the five Sensuall La∣dyes, who refresh their defatigated Limms with the hypnoticall dew of this Anodynous Bath: And whilst they rest, the Princess Phan∣tasia, who never enters that Fountain, she sports her self with the Jugling tricks of that Arti∣fex simulator que figurae, Morpheus, his Pho∣betur and Phantasus.
Here if Eloquentia forget not her self, she will shew you Memoria, and her Lodg∣ing.
But now I remember my self, I have heard our Cook and his Hatch twice at knocks, because none will ease him of his second Course.
And I fear some of my more serious Guest could do the like with me, who perchance ex∣pected grave Apothegmes, and sententious Aphorismes for their Table Talk.
No, you both abuse your expectations, and break the Rules of Physick, if you gape for
Page 38
Sentences here. Ever while you live be merry at meat. Tis to excite your Mirth that I play the Fool: Heaven created you for its own joy; The joy of Heaven will keep you. Why then be merry! and with Democritus Jeere Me∣lancholy out of his Humour, for the Fates permit while ye live safely.
And believe me, Mirth is the main Spring of your Lives Horologe: tis that maintains the Clapper your Tongue in motion.
'Tis Healths chief Panacea, and without this one, as the life of all medicines, all medicines used to produce life die.
Laugh and be fat therefore: and let Doctor Merryman alwayes make up your Mess.
But soft! here comes the Second Course! Gentlemen pray have a Care you commit no Capitall Crime in your Table Talk. For whosoever makes Gravity his Salt, and Con∣templation his Sawce, gives so great an Affront to Intellectus, the Favorite, that he may chance hang his Head for it. For thus you corrupt the Embassadours and Agents which Spiritus Naturalis imployes in the Stomaticall Terri∣tories, by diverting them from their Functi∣on, whereby their charge is rawly executed. Next, you give a false Alarme throughout the whole Microcosme, making Spiritus Anima∣lis
Page 39
retire his Forces to the Cephalick Peninsu∣•a, when there is more necessity of their succour •n terra firma. Lastly, you rob the Treasury, •rawing from the Exchequer of the Heart •ood Angel-Gold, pure vitall Spirits, and •nd back false, indigested Metall, all Mercu∣•iall, falsifyed by a weak externall Tincture •nly: but brought to Natures test alla Copella,•nd after dissolved in her rectified Spirits▪ you •hall scarce draw from a Pound, one scruple •f perfect Aurum potabile.
Thus likewise you cause fearfull Inundati∣•ns in this Peninsula, making his Fluxes and •efluxes so Violent, that they drown the very •arrow and Heart of the Soil, bringing with •a Marine Saltness, whose Corrosive heat con∣••mes the true Balsamicall moisture, leaving ••ose Parts where it runs so impregnable that ••thing prospers there but Tussilago.
Nor is this all the Danger! for by eating ••icks in the Neck-land, it threatneth the ••ole Continent.
Here in the Chamber of Memoria, I found Book in Manuscript, full of Politicall Max∣•es and Matchavilian Principles, for the bet∣〈…〉 Government of the Sephalick State. The •••ef whereof were these,
•. How ever the World go,* be not too Vi∣•••ant in your Affairs: le•t by over greediness
Page 40
of Gain you lose your Interest in the Pub∣lique Treasury, and at last abandoned by In∣tellectus, you grow out of Memory amongst your Friends, and so pass for a Man of small Judgement.
*2. Be carefull that the Inland Inhabi∣tants suffer not their Culinary Excrements to lye putrifying in their Channells▪ but dayly to evacuate them by the Port Esculine.
For believe me, the Contagious exhalati∣ons which ascend from those faetid• neglects will quickly breed the Sickness in the Cepha∣lick Land.
*3. This Peninsula being barren, and re∣ceiving all his Provisions from the Continent 'tis necessary that you keep an Eye open upon the Stomaticall Magazin, and see that Memory forget not her self to charge all the Lady Sen∣ces to be vigilant in this action, and not so much as to Dream of any other negotiation untill they have seen a full and perfect distri∣bution. For if you let those Ministers sleep you may be supplied with a corrupt Munition sufficient to morbifie all your Inhabitants.
4. Here the Intellectus must answer the counsel of his Physitian Common Sense,* with obe•dience, and moderate his hours of Recreat••on in the Helicon; lest he grow dull wit• those stupid Vapours▪ and so unapt to nego•ciate,
Page 41
be at last put out of his Office by the Princess Phantasia.
5. As far as Possibility permits, this Pe∣ninsula must be defended from those injurious Sea Winds, especially from that Pincerna pluviae the South, whose humid Gusts, suppor∣ted on the wings of noysome Foggs, lend a new body to the investing Aer; increasing the Violence of his Fluxes, and sending a Reple∣tion even into the Cranyes of that Earth.
6. Here is allowed, to Intellectus, his par∣ticular Recreations, for the preservation of his Vigour and Health: and those he shall bor∣row from the Lady Sences.
For sometime Visus shall divert his too se∣rious and retir'd meditations, with the revi∣ving Aspect of some actuating Beauty: whose presence will give such a charge to his defati∣gated Spirits, that in a Point of Time, by the strong refraction of those Rayes, all his forces shall be inflamed with a renovating Fire.
Tactus, yet more audacious, shall bring him on to touch this Beauty▪ making him im∣brace Corporality, to adde a greater feeling to his Delights. And there the Intellect might die in E••tasy, did not Auditus presently by some Syrene voice or Orphean Instrument re∣lieve his melting Soul from the Abyss of Ple∣sure.
Page 42
And lastly Gustus shall salute him with her Arms full of restoring Dishes, making the Lady Lingua invite him to a Sack Posset, as the most proper N•penthes for his Lassitude, and of all approved for an Authentick settle-brain.
In this my Cephalicall M•pp, you may discover the Head to be the most noble part of the Microcosme! the little Worlds Brita∣nia! Wisdoms Cabinet! The Muses Parnas∣sus! Apollo's Oracle! Minerva's Temple! and which crowns all▪ the Souls Imperiall terrestiall Tribunall whose Foundation is the Body: which if once impaired his fair build∣ings fall▪ and kiss their Mother Earth for a se∣cond admission into her Bowels.
Who then so desperate of sence▪ as to neg∣lect the preservation of so Principal a Part? Believe me 'twere Madness in the abstract: and such might well pass for Hair-brain'd hu∣morists.
This my second Course therefore shall con∣sist wholly of Cephalicall Preservatives. Look from one end of my Table to the other and you shall not see either gross, flatulent, un∣ctuous, vaporous nauseous, or crude and indi∣gestible meats, such as are, Old Beefe Milk, Fat Broths, strong Wines, Butter, Black Olives, Nuts, Onions, Cabbage, raw Sallads, Beans,
Page 43
Pease, Rochet, or any such Cephalick E∣nemy.
No! I sent my Spenditore to Galens Mar∣ket, where he bought me these Ingredients.
Betonica
Marjoram.
Salvia
Hyssop
Melissa
Rosemary.
Fol. laur.
Satureia
Ruta.
Ocymum.
Cal. arom.
Melilotus
Pioneer
Sem. Faenic.
Coriander
Anise
Rad brakes
Caryophyllata.
I live. I want
Flower The linden trees.
Bac. Iunip.
Acorus
Poligium
With pita.
Euphrasia
Calaminta
A broom
Spica
The lavender.
Oregano.
Horb. Paralyzed.
Lil. conval.
Galangae
Staech. Arabic.
Chamomilla
Anacard.
Nuc. Mosh.
Succinum
musk
Amber. griz.
Lig. Aloes
Caryophyll.
Cubebae.
Cardamomi
Mace, &c.
And these by an Essentiall Fire we have brought into Quintessences, Elixars, Extracts Tinctures, Balsoms, Magistralls, Spirits, Ar∣cani, and the like: all which you shall find far more toothsome, & Specificall to Cephali∣call Distempers than any of these following Methodicall Dishes,
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Diambra
Diamosc. Amar.
Diacastor.
Diapaeonias.
Theria•. d••tes.
Pleres archont.
Op•yra
Conf. Anacard.
Hygia Greek
Diaolibar.
Aurea Alex.
Mithridat.
Dianthos
Theriaca, &c.
No, I presume all sorts of delicate and nice tempers will rather honour our Hermeticall Feast: especially those curious Females whose very Stomacks are Complementall, in so much that they will not take a grain of Phy∣sick, under a Pound of Ceremonies. Nor can I blame them! For whose Disease hath once invited them to Galens Table, they shall find that the Nauseous variety of Syrups, Potions, Boles Pills▪ Apozemes, Emulsions, Powders, Electuaries, Lozenges, Eclygmes, with a world of such like Kitchin-stuff, shall give his Sto∣mack so compleat a Surfit, that at a second in∣vitation, they will rather (dispensing with good manners) appeal thrice to the Judgment of the Nose, before they will once ask the O∣pinion of the Palate.
This if any man deny, I refer him to the infallible experience of his next Malady; o• to the Volums of Hippoc. Galen, Avi•en▪ Rhasis, Aretaeus, Aetius, &c. Whose pra∣ctise
our Methodists now wholly imitate. Read those, and you shall find most bitter Ex∣amples of all that I have mentioned. And whose belief in this point, cannot be overcome but by Instances▪ let them tast a little of this so much admired Antipilepticall Antidote of Aetius,
℞. Castorei. Helleb. wash Scámon. the ʒij.
Opopanac. Cumini Tobacco.
of centaury, of nitre, of quick sulphur,
Abrotani, Ammoniaci, Thymiamati
Sem. Ruta Sylvest They are absent. whether ʒj.
After they have been bruised and sieved, take water and form pills of the size of an Egyptian bean, and give one every day, with vinegar, milked with four Cya∣this.
Oh sweet Antidote! me thinks I see the Disease flying from it in the very preparation. Gentlemen, one such a Dish as this might make you all leave my Table, and run to the Cooks Shops.
Here therefore you shall see the difference between a good Cook and a bad.
For my part, had I Appetitus Caninus, or that ravening 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, I should not move a Tooth at such Ogliopodridoes.
I remember, about my second Clymacterical yeer I had a Quartan Fever▪ and requiring as∣sistance
of a good Old and reverend Dogma∣tist! for my Cure, he prescrib'd me a Water to drink; the which hath put me into an 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 ever since.
Take heed Sirs, how you mix such Waters with your Wine: for I can assure you, you may grow mad upon it.
From Galens Cephalicall Sallads, I have made many Dishes, which I desire no man to commend untill he have tasted.
Pray therefore fall to this Dish of Ex∣tracts.
A Cephalicall Extract.
℞. Nuc. Mosh.
Caryophyl.
Cinamom.
Cardamom.
Shut up. aroma.
Succini
Maceris an. ℥ss.
Sem. Anisi
Sem. Faenicul.
Sem. coriander Prep.
Sem. silent mountain
Sem. Paeoniae or ℥j.
Page 47
Flower concrete
Flower Sage
Flower. Rosmar.
flower Herb. parallel
Flor. Euphrag.
Flor. Lil. conoal.
Flower Paeonia
Flower A linden tree
Flor. Lavend.
Flor. Staech. Arab. an. P.j.
Leaf Majorana
Leaf Melissa
Leaf Laurie
Leaf Granddaughter
Leaf Calamint
Leaf Scalp
Leaf Killed, or M. j.
Rad. Paeonia
Rad. Acori
Rad. Galanga
Rad. caryophyllata,
Rad. Ireos ana. ℥ij.
Bac. Iunip.
Bac. Lauri an. ℥ij.ss.
Page 48
Lig. Aloes
Lig. Sassafras
Lig. Guaiacini
Lig. I live. i want
Lig. Coryli
Buxi an. ℥j.ss.
Let the Herbs be brused, the Woods rasp'd the Seeds, Aromaticks, roots and ber∣ries grosly beaten. Put all into a large Ma∣tracio of Glass, and cover them 4. or 5. fing∣ers deep with Spir. of Wine animated with the Spirits of Sage and Juniper Berries. Set them in Balneo to Ferment six or 8. Dayes. Then separate the Tincture from the Faeces per inclinationem. To the remaining Faeces powre half as much as aforesaid of the S. of W. ani∣mated with the S of Annise, and Cinamon. Set them again in Digestion other six Dayes; which finish'd, and your Matracium cold, se∣parate the Tincture from the Faeces. Adjoyn these Tinctures, and by a gentle heat in Balneo vaporoso first separate the Spirits, then put your Alembick in Balneo bulliente and distill the Phlegma until your Tincture coagulat into an Extract. To every ℥ij. of which Ex∣tract adde,
Magister. perlar.
Magist. Coral. an. ʒj.
Page 49
Tinct. Confect. Alcher. ʒij.
The essence of ☽. gut xx.
Magister. Cran. hum.
Salis cran. hum. an. ʒj.
They would be now mosch
They would be Dinner whether g. x.
Spir. 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. gut. vj.
Mix all according to art in the consistence of an Extract. Dosis. ℈ss. vel ℈.j.
The Spirits of this Extract. have cochl. ss. vel cochl. j. to their Dose.
This Extract doth miraculously corrobo∣rate the Brain, and both Preserves and Cures you of all Cepbalicall diseases, as Apoplexies, Epilepsies, Palsyes, Vertigines, Hemicranies, Sopors, Torpors, Lethargyes, &c. It fortifyeth the Memory, acuates the sight, extenuates and dissipates cold, gross, viscous & Tartareous humors of the Brain, which cause noise and pain in the Ears, Deafnes and the like.
For a Preservative against all cold distem∣pers of the Head, the first Extract without the mixture of those, other Essences may excuse such as are not in our Spagiricall Cooks Books.
Those which will not feed on that Dish, let them satisfie Nature with this Elixir: though somewhat inferiour to the first Extract which is 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
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Elixir Cephalic.
℞. Nuc. Mosh. ℥j.ss.
You are lean
Caryophyll.
Cinamom. an. ℥ss.
Galano.
Kalam. aroma. a. ℥j.
Euphrasia
Flor. Lavend.
Rosemary.
Herb. paral. an. Mj.
Melissa
Ment. Rom.
Card. Ben. an. Mj.ss.
By the example of the former you shall ex∣tract the Tincture with Spir. of Wine or ordi∣nary Cinamon water. Then separate the E∣lixir from his Tincture, and proceed as before. The Coagulated Extract having ℈.j. to his Dose. The Elixir half a whole Sponfull in the morning: the which resists all cold and moist distempers of the Brain: saves a bad Memory the expence of Table-books: and in one half year (if generally used) it would make our Glasses Cheap by runing the Trade of Spe∣ctacles.
This likewise is a Capitall enemy to Tale-carryers:
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for it makes the Sence of hearing so exquisite, that their Imployment would be∣come unnecessary.
Here Variety calls you to another Dish.
℞. They are beautiful.
Santal. rub.
Caryoph. an. ℥ss.
Cinnamon. ℥ij.
Nuc. Mosh.
You are lean
Peppers.
Galangae
Cubebae
Cardamomi
Anise
Sem. Faenic.
Coriand. praep. an. ℥ss.
flavored pink
Spec. Diambrae
Dianthos an. ʒij.
Marjoram.
Flower. Ocini
Lavend. an. P.j.
Ros. rub. M.j.
With lb ij. of the best Sack, and lb.ss. of the S. of W. with ℥viij. of Rose-water animated with the Essence of Musk proceed
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as in the other Elixir. The vertues are the same with the former, but somwhat more ef∣ficacious.
He that thinks these Elixars and Extracts will be too hot for him, let him play the good Fellow and fall to our Cock-broth which here waits for the Innovation of his Spoon.
℞. An old fat Cock or Capon, being exenterated, cut him in pieces, and then put him into a large Glass Phia∣lum adding,
Santal. Citrine.
Lig. Aloes
Caryophyl.
Nuc. Moschat.
Cinnamon.
Maceris an. ℥j.
Galangae
Cut. Citri.
Zedoariae
Croci orient. an. ℥ss.
Flor. Rosmarin.
Flower Sage
Flower. Concrete.
Flor. Lavend.
Flower. Borag.
Flor. Bugloss
Flor. Ros. rub. an. P.j.
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Salt corallor. ℥j.
Granor Kerm. ʒiij.
Canarian wines lb.
Sacchar. albis. lb.ss.
Set all well stoped, 8. or ten Dayes in Bal∣neo fervido. Then bring your Cock to the Press and there execute him: which done di∣still all in Alembico vitreo: Dosis j. 2. or iij. sponfulls.
This Restorative I recommend to Students, whose Cephalick Treasure is exhausted, by their Prodigall exercise of the Brain, as most Specificall.
I have taken notice of some here who are so bad sighted that they cannot find the nar∣row passage of their Mouths. Others again be∣fore they can draw their Eyes out of their Pockets, lose many a choise bit which they ga∣ped for. These things must be better look'd into: otherwise we shall make but a blind rec∣koning of it. That I may not be troubled with blind Guest therefore, I will bring you to to your Diet, and prescrib you this Opthalmick water: and this is for such as prefer their ease, before their Eyes: who rather than suffer a lit∣tle smart, will sooner be at the charge of some well Tutor'd Mungrell, to follow his Dogged Humor.
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℞. Euphrag.
Chelidon. the. M.ij.
Card. Ben.
Betonec. an. M.j.
Ruta Pj
Salviae
Fenic. an. M.j.
Enul. camp.
Rad. Valerian. an. ℥j.
Faenic.
Sem. Anisi
coriander Prep.
Siler. mont. an. ℥ss.
Bac. Iunip. ℥j.
Red white.
Flor. Rosmarin.
Calondul
Lavend.
Staeched. an. P.j.
Nuc. Mosh.
They are beautiful.
Cardamom.
Macropip.
Shut up. aroma.
Cinamum. an. ʒj.
Infuse all in lb. iiij. of the Spir. of Wine animated with the Spirits of Sage, for the space of four Days in Balneo: from whence accord∣•ng
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to art, you shall extract the Spirits and Tincture from the Faeces, by Calcination So∣lution, Filtration, and coagulation; you shall resuscitate the Soul of those Vegetables, with which you are to Animate the Spirits, and Phlegma. Which Phlegma dissolving therein 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉li, with a little crocus metallorum, makes an excellent externall Opthalmick wa∣ter. The Spirits are to be inhibited the quan∣tity of a Spoonfull, or but half. The coagu∣lated Tincture ℈ss. vel ℈j.ss.
Who will prie far into other mens matters, though he smart for it, let him use this Exter∣nall Opthalmicall Water.
℞. Suc. Chelidon.
Euphrag. an. lb.ss.
Lact. Caprin. lb. j.
They are beautiful.
Maceris an. ℥j.
Aloes ℥ss.
Vitriol white ℥iij.
Give all four Dayes Infusion and then distill them in Balneo. To this distilled water, take little peeces of Tutia, heat them red hot in a new Iron spoon, and ex∣tinguish them in this water, with nine Repetitions, leaving your Tutia at the last
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extinction in the water, and so reserve it for your use.
A blind man may see the Vertues of this wa∣ter, a drop thereof being often put into his Eys. It cures all Opthalmies, Gumms, salt Tears, Pearles, &c.
In your first Stomaticall Course, I told you of a new Hermeticall method in curing Di∣seases (which I have often practiz'd on Infants and extream feeble Patients) only by externall remedies, without any Internall praesidio: Whereby I will undertake, and maintain, that any Disease, either Acute▪ Chronical, or A∣stralis, (where no Malignity praedominates) may be perfectly, and with far less expence to Nature eradicated. And that all exteriour af∣fects, as Ulcers, Wounds, &c. may be brought to an exact sanation without any locall appli∣cation, but meerly by a Magneticall Sympa∣thy.
This Opinion I know will be better than a Gig to our modern Methodists to provoke Laughter: But let them beware, in their Laughter they revive not the Example of Z•uxis that famous Painter, who imitating the Deformity of an Old Tripefac'd Beldam, whose arch'd Chin supported the fall of her Nose, and the want of teeth gave her Tongue Liberty to drown her mumping Elo∣quence
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with dribling Oratory; every Eye like∣wise being so retir'd, that their Gravity eclyp∣sed all suspect of Lightness. When he had finish'd this Master-peece, and wrought it so neer to the Life, that Art had almost lost her Interest in it; he was so overcome with the extravagancy of his Pensills perfection, that bursting into a violent Laughter, he let out his soul to animate his Pourtraict.
Thus perchance the Extravagancy of our Art mixt with perfection, may draw some of them to a Violent Laughter: But I fear twill be Sardinian.
Faith if they laugh! I must do as Fools do, and laugh for Company: Yet with a more hearty laughter, as was of that of Chrysippus, when he saw an Ass forsake sweet Grass and fall to Thistles. Apply who will.
Here (Purpose bringing me upon it) to make this new Art more Speculative, and my Opinion more apparent, I will give you an Ocular Instance.
In all Opthalmies where a Plethora doth indicate evacuation, we have an Hermeticall Opthalmick water whereof three drops put into the Eye hath these three Properties.
First per〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 it causeth a Universall Revulsion of the humor peccant, which flows to the part affected. Secondly by a repulsion
Page 58
it resists the flux of humors. Lastly, per〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 it makes an insensible discussion of those humors already compacted and coagu∣lated in the Eye.
Now they will not only laugh, but con∣clude I am Mad; to say that the dropping water in the Eyes can purge per〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉.
If this seeme so strange to them, per∣chance I may shortly present them with a Monster (yet no 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉) whose smell only shall excite Intestin•ll evacuations.
To shew that I am not in choller, there∣fore, with Methodicall Obstinacy, which Jeeres at Truth, to blinde their Ignorance; • will drink to them in a Cup of our Hermeti∣call Claret.
. Caryoph.
Nuc. Mosh.
M•ceris an. ℥j.ss.
They are beautiful.
Cardamom. an. ℥ss.
coriander Prep.
Anise
Faenicul. an. ʒiij.
Diploma
Zedoariae
rad Angel. an. ʒij.
Flor. Rosmarin.
Bugloss. an. P.ij.
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Tabel. arom. ros. ℥j.
Sacchar. alb. lb. j.
All grosly beaten, put them into a glass vessell with lbiiij. or five of the best Wine of Candia, or good Canary; set them the space of two or three dayes in Balneo tepido. Then pass it two or three times through a Hippocras Bag. Which done, mix therewith of the Spi∣rits of Roses essentiated with Musk and Am∣ber; then put it up into Vessells for your use. One or two spoonfulls taken of this in a morning, corroborates all the Animall, Vitall, and Naturall Faculties.
Hence it conduceth to all Cephalicall af∣fects: as also to all Cardialgiae, Lipothimiae, Sincopi, &c. 'Tis excellent in all weakness Crudityes, and ventosities of the Stomack. It corroborates the Liver and Spleen and cures all Cachexies, Hypochondriacall Melanchol∣lies, and Hystericall Passions. It preserves from the Pestilence, Worms, and all sorts of putrifactions.
I must not here omit the recreating of your Sences by some externall perfumes: accept therefore of these Pomanders.
℞. Styrac. calam.
Land. the ʒj.ss.
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Benzoes ʒj.
Garyoph.
mace
Lig. Aloes
Flor. Lavend. an. ℈.ss.
Moschi
Ambrae an. g. iiij.
Gum. Tragac. in aq. Ros.
dissolut. q.s.
They will grind a little
In a hot Mortar make them up into a Po∣mander, according to art.
If that please not, make use of this
℞. Ladani ʒij.
Styrac. cal. ʒj.ss.
Benzoes
Thuris
Succin. alb.
Lig. Aloes
Praise. rubles
Corpse. Cypress.
Cinamom.
Garyophil. an. ℈.ij.
Amber
Moschi or gv
With Gum Tragacanth dissolved in Spir. of Roses, q.s. make them up into small Tro∣chisks;
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one of which cast upon the Coals fills your Chamber with a gratefull Odour.
Or this,
℞. Thuris
Lig. Aloes
Styr. Cal. an. ℥ss.
Styr. evil ʒvj.
Laudan. ℥j.ss.
Amber
Moschi or g. vij.
Coal of Tilia
vel Salicis ℥j.
Tragacant. ℥ss.
Your Gum dissolved in Spirit of Roses with a little S. of W. make them up into little Roles like small Candles.
Or use this Water.
℞. Aq. Rosar. lb iij.
Vin. malvat. lb.ss.
Flor. Lavend.
Spikes or ℥ij.
Cort. Citri ℥ss.
Row. Ireos ʒij.
cinnamon
Nuc. Mosh.
Management. calam. an. ʒss.
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After ten Dayes infusion, distill them, putting in the Nose of your Alembick, Musk and Amber an. ℈j. This water you may mix with common Water for your Hands or face; Or put some of it in a perfuming pot, the Va∣pour whereof will recreate your Sences with a delightfull Aer.
If none of those perfumes please you, I must call for my Hermeticall Cabinet, where I think to finde a Balsam shall please you all in despite of your Noses.
℞. Butyr. Gelsom. ℥ss.
Essent. flower. Citri.
being court citrus
Ess. Cinamom.
Ol. Nuc. Mosh.
Essence. Rosary. in the. ℈.ss.
Flor. Benzoin. ℈.j.
They would be Moschi
They would be Amber
They would be Zibetta or ℈.ss.
These in some small mortar, sine calore you shall mix well together: and then reserve it in some silver box to your use.
With this you may rub your Gloves, Hand∣kerchief, or any thing else about you. When the Barber elevates your Mustachoes, this wil•
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be of singular use, making your Whiskers stand up most sweetly. In time of Pestilence it will be very serviceable, and where it layes hold it will a long time stick to your Coat.
Here since I have taken you by the Nose, I must hold you a little longer: for I have a Se∣cret to reveal to you, but it will trouble your Brains, and therefore I doubt you will take it in snuff. Yet as it concerns the Health both of your Soul and Body, I am bound in consci∣ence to reveal it: make good use of it there∣fore for my sake, and ile promise you every one shall pray for you.
Sneezing powder.
℞. Same. nigel.
Helleb. alb. an. ℈.j.
Marjoram.
Rosemary.
Salviae an. ʒss.
Moses g. iij
Fiat pulvis. sa
These and such like neesing powders are never to be used but fasting: for you know, fasting and praying go always together.
This following is safer and better: but you will be the less praid for,
℞. Pyrethri ℈.ss.
Helleb. nig. ʒj.
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Nasturtium. ʒss.
Let it be dust.
Tye it in a peece of fine Cloath, and steep it in Rose water, and by smelling to it, it gently provokes sternutation.
Here I have another Dish for some body which perchance little dreams of it,
℞. Four weeks cold maj. whether ℥ij.
Neither. Papav. alb. lb. ss.
Lettuce ℥iiij.
Hyoschyam. ℥ij.
Flor. Nymph.
Violets.
Roses. rub.
Papav. rhead. an. p.iiij.
Flower Elderberry
He takes it. Ruta or P.ij.
mace
Nuc. Moschat.
Benzoini an. ʒvj.
All grosly beaten infuse them four dayes in
Aqua roses.
Lettuce
Nenupharis
Papav. rheadis an. lb. ij.
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Then strein it with a strong expression, to which you shall adde
Rest in peace. ℥ss.
Croci orient.
Mumiae an. ʒiij.
Camphorae
Castorei. an. ʒj.
Being well mixt, distill them according to Art. The Dose is ℥ij. at your wonted hour of rest. This spoils all your Watches: Silen∣ceth your Clocks, and makes you lose more time then you think of: The best property it hath, is, it makes a man forget all wrongs.
All that is bad in it is this, that who ever takes of it he will be no more good for any thing a long time after.
This is far safer and of better effect than any of the Vulgar Narcoticks, and it emu∣lates our Hermeticall Laudanum, mitigating all Internal dolours, Inflammations, Inquietu∣di•i, &c.
Gentlemen, I did let your Noses go a little too soon: here is a bloudy Action put in against them, which may cost some of you your Lives. I should be very sorry to see any of my Guest throw away themselves by their own weak∣ness. Believe me tis to be pittyed, and I
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would spend part of my best Bloud to save them.
Whensoever therefore Prodigious drops of Bloud shall fall from the upper Region of the Microcosme, knock at our Hermeticall Ca∣binets Door: for there you shall finde a Sym∣paticall Powder, which increaseth both in Quantity and Quality every time you make use of it: One Dragm of which is sufficient for an Army. 'Tis to be preserv'd in some lit∣tle box in your Pocket, and when your Nose bleeds let but a drop or two fall on this Pow∣der: then put up the Box presently from the Aer, and you shall find your Bloud stop mira∣culously. And thus it Cures all Fluxes of Bloud either of Man or Woman without any other helps. And this I have here Inserted, to adde a Nerve to the Truth of our former Opi∣nion.
Here when I call to remember the Malice of Ignorance, I could play the Montinbanco and draw Teeth. But from whom? not from my Guess! but from the Jawes of those 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 whose Canine and rabid Envy like that of Timonus the Athenian Man-hater ( quod nihil ingratius animo concipiat quam erga Homines benevolum ac beneficum To have, eos∣que prosperè ac feliciter prospiciat degrees ) runs snarling and biting at every Man. There is Na∣ture
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her self cannot pass them! But because she is 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and favours Man with the use of her Secrets, they hourly labour to discredit her, and ruin her Reputation with their Malignant Calumnies. But she is so well armed with her Panacaeae, and Truths Arcani, that in vain with Aesops Dog they do but bark at the Moon.
While I was Student in Padoua, upon ma∣ny particular occasions, I have often tasted of that bitter Galenicall Envy against Hermeti∣call discipline. Amongst which this was one.
Walking one day in the Garden of Sim∣ples, with one of the Professours of that A∣cademy in Physick: (and none of the Sim∣plest neither) we gathered our Discourse out of our Mothers Aperne: where I by chance taking up the Herb Heliotropium (whose name discovers his Solar Sympathy) it gave me occasion to sublimate the Terrestriety of our Discourse into Celestiall Influences, where rising from the bare and Elementary Vertues of Herbs an other Vegetables▪ we flew up at last unto their Occult Qualities: where I made sure account to have adorn'd the naked Wings of my Quaesiti, with the choisest Fea∣thers of this Old Asclepians Answers.
I entred him upon the Signatures of Vege∣tables and Mineralls, telling him how many
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miraculous Cures I had seen from Sympatical Remedies, to the great Amazement of the Ignorant, and to the greater Elogie of Her∣metick, whose enucleating Curiosity had thus stole into Natures most secret Mysteries.
The good Man was so suddenly cholerick to hear me attribute any Truth or belief to Sympaticall Physick, that he had no leasure to answer me with Patience; but, calling me Paracelsian, he began very Galenically to rail in Method against our Hermetick Discipline: telling me that if I had ever read Galen or Hip∣pocrates, I should Impart little Honour to any of our Chymiatri, or Impyricall Charletaines, who contemning rationall Method, apply themselves wholly to Venimous Mineralls, Magick Spells, and Diabolicall Chara∣cters.
Our Art, in that University being prohibi∣ted! I durst not cure those broken Heads with our Balsamicall Reasons, which he so despe∣rately wounded with the blunt Beetle of Ig∣norance.
But letting him run on his Heat; his over angry Tongue had so bastonadoed his teeth, that at last they Silenc'd him with a vendica∣tive Dolor. Nature I think visiting his Igno∣rance on purpose to shew him the experience of her Sympaticall Secrets.
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Here like the Samaritan I took out a little Violl from the Pharmacopaea of my Pocket, and profer'd to lend him ease. Imagine with what scorn he contemn'd my younger Pra∣ctise: but bidding me follow him to the Apo∣thecaries, I should see he was not destitute of Remedies far better than any of my Impyri∣call Fopperies. There he made a mixture of Theriaca with a grain or two of Opium, with which he fill'd the hollow Vault of his ruin'd Tooth. This by the narcoticall Sulphur of the Opium, stupefied the Nerve, and so for a while mock'd his martyr'd Sence with a seeming Ease: which brought him presently into the Vanity of his Secret Encomium, asking me how long I would undertake to dig before I found a Mineral so rarely qualify'd. I laughing ask'd how long it might be before he expected the return of his Currier: at which very In∣stant, his Opiate was now overcome; and his Dolour answer'd him in a Duplicate.
Once more I abused him with Curtesie, and desired him to make use of my Sympaticall Unguent: praying him but to draw bloud from his aking Tooth with his tooth-picker, and make a Resignation of the stick to me; I would return him an Acquittance of his Do∣lor, without any locall application.
My Oportunity at last won his Obedience:
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and his Toothpick was no sooner buried in my Sympaticall Vnguent, but a sudden ease con∣tradicted his Expectation. Who, like a Cro∣codyle, when I had picked the dolor out of his Teeth, he was like to have swallowed me up with his malitious Oratory: telling me that this Cure was Diabolicall, answerable to our Hermetick Doctrine; and advised me not to make farther use of it, but to content my Pra∣ctise with rationall Galenicall Ingredients.
I must confess it angred me to hear a Phi∣losopher so lost in Obstinacy, who blushed not to repay the Vse of Natures Secrets, with In∣gratitude. His Ignorance gave my Teeth such an 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, that I could never since masticate a Galenicall Sallad.
Gentlemen, I hope you are more rationall, and better natured: and when a Tooth pains you, will rather make use of our Sympaticall Unguent, than draw it out.
In this my Cephalicall Course, twenty to one but some old Lady will be looking for a Dish to renovate Natures defac'd Master∣peece with some Artificiall Shadow: Or to illuminate her Microcosmical Map with the superficiall Beauty of our Hermeticall Tin∣ctures.
To say the Truth, I had prepared many Dishes for this effect: but my fear was lest
Page 71
some of our younger Beauties (whose Perfe∣ction is so compleat that Nature her self hath many years since confessed she cannot adde unto it) would▪ for want of more substantiall Pastimes, fall a dappling with our Spagiricall Accidents: and like ambitious Painters, which never thinking their Retraits finished, with too much Curiosity spoil the whole Peece. In∣deed I should be heartily sorry to see a good Face marr'd for want of a Play-fellow.
To such pregmaticall Fansies therefore I will shortly (God willing) make a Present, wherein they shall finde such variety of in∣tertainment, that I doubt not but many a Fair Face will thank me for it.
In the mean Time I wish that their busie Heads may nor abuse the Innocencie of their Beauty, cheating themselves of Natures Trea∣sure under a Colour of fair dealing.
The desire therefore which I have to see such Beauties flourish in their Meridian, hath made me lose many a nights sleep in Contemplati∣on, before I could attain to their true externall Prophylactick. I sent the Embassadours of my Fansie through every part of the World for Vegetables, Mineralls, Semimineralls, Fukes, Belletti, Smegmatick Secrets, Vnctions, Poma∣does, Waters, any thing that had or might be practized in that nature.
Page 72
Faith I found all to be but Curtains to a good Picture, which only kept the Dust from it, but Eclypsed the Glory of it.
Yet I could not rest thus satisfyed, but per∣swaded my self that Nature had given all things their Preservatives. In which contem∣plation I called to minde how that Celestiall Beauty, the Sun, used no other Art but fair Water, Morning and Evening washing his bright Rayes in that Fountain the Sea.
This then as Natures best Secret for main∣taining a lively, ruddy▪ cleer, and Snowy skin, I freely impart to all Faire Faces: wishing them to make some clear fountain their Pain∣ter, and to dabble there as long as they please: remembring that they make not that, their Glass of Philautia; and so Sacrifice their good Faces to Narcissus.
Page 73
THE THIRD COURSE HEPATICALL.
SEe what a merry Gossip Health is! she is alwayes exciting us to Mirth. I have already wandred through two Parts of •he World with her: in which Pilgrimage my •ides are so larded with the Fat operation of •er good Diet, mixt with the extravagancies of •er ridiculous Mirth, that with a Months hard •odging I might very well supply the defect •f a Christmass Brawner. And now she hath •ut me in this good plight, I must not leave •er neither. If I but speak of parting, she •enies me my Billeto di Sanita. Then she •ugs me, kisseth me, bids me rowse up my •pirits, laugh, sing, dance, and let care go a •atter-wauling. She swears that she is in love
Page 74
with my good Diet▪ and doteth on the Tem∣perance of my Youth: and tells me that I shall do very ill to leave her, that have so often protested that I could not live well with∣out her.
Faith I felt all this to be true! And though I knew her to be a noted Strumpet• one that would sell herself to any man for a little good Diet. Besides how Inconstant she was drawing every Mans Eyes upon her to corrupt her; and letting every Boy lye with her. Again▪ accustomed to feed on the best and would not be brought out of her good Diet; but if she misliked her feeding, leave a man. Yet considering that she was of good Bloud, honest Parentage, alwayes well dispo∣sed, and of good breeding; Full of Mirth, a••fable, not subject to any Ill Humors Fair, and of a pure Complexion. Her vertues being e∣quivalent with her vices; I fell so far in Love with her, that I made her Lady of my Desires & in short time she won so far upon me, that she govern'd me, and withall made me so fond of her, that if I were absent but a Mi∣nute from her me thought I was Sick. In fine▪ let her be in what Humor she would, I was her Morpheus, and Imitated: if she slep'd so did I. If she were distempered▪ So was I• And being thus lost in the Labyrinth of Love:
Page 75
let her wander where she please I have vow'd to follow, humor her, and beat her charges.
Thus captivated there did I
Fall in the Veines of Poesy.
The Magick of my Mistris Eyes
Made me no more apologize:
But at a look, where ere she went,
Follow I must, or lose Content.
Here toth' Hepatick land shee'd go,
Where Delicacies overflow:
And there she promis'd I should see
Mars in a Box of Quidini.
Next Venus Court, Whereas I might
In time with Cupid lose my Sight.
But ear these Wonders I could see
I first an Israelite must be,
And pass the mercy of a Floud
Which some baptize the Sea of Bloud.
There I was Sea-sick and would fain
With Healths permission ope a Veine:
No she would no such bloudy Trick,
Sheed first for company be sick;
Empty my stomack, and she said
The Red-Seas fury would be laid.
After those Waves had plai'd their sport,*
At last they brought us to a Port
Whose milky Torrent drove us in
To Loves restoring Magazin.
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Here sweet Health laughs, gives me a buss,
And bids me hug my Genius;
Then shews where Venus hid her Treasure,
Some for Health and some for Pleasure,
Next her Temple (whereat she bowes)
Then her Altar, then her Vowes,
(Upon which Altar, a Chalice stood
Brim full of desperate Lovers Bloud)
Bids me be modest, shut mine Eyes,
Lest I were call'd to Sacrifice.
And here she shew'd that fatall Well
Wherein she said Narcissus fell.
Hence in al haste my Love departs
And ushers out the Queen of Hearts,
Whose Deity was magnifi'd
By a rich Train of Courtly Pride.
Her Whiteboy Cupid flew before
To •orce all strangers to adore
His Mothers beauty; For which intent
His Bow was alwayes ready bent.
Next came Intemp•rance with a Cup
Of ruddy Nectar: Drinks it up,
And then growes wanton: At me she ran
And kist me twise. Here Health began
To swell look big, and puffing to me said,
I was to blame to kiss Loves Chambermaid.
I prai'd my Mistris not to take it ill:
Since she kist me, 'twas manners to stand still.
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In this Distemper Venus came,
Who calls my Mistris by her name,
And ask'd where she that Youngster had
Which made her Maid Intemp'rance mad.
Quoth Health, a stranger tis, would be
A Pupill in your Nursery.
Venus straight swore, hee's Patron here,
Such Guest we have not every year:
My Family is so decai'd
That I am forc'd to wo my Maid
Intemperance, to bring me In
Some able Sparks a Gossiping.
Here Venus kist me, and protests
For Health sake shee'd obey my heasts,
Her Mars from hence as Old shee'd quite deny,
I was chief Member of her Family.
She bids Intemp'rance to retire,
And charge her Cooks to lay toth' Fire
Their Egge-pyes, Marrows, armed Fishes,
What they thought restoring Dishes.
To see her dining Chamber were
Perfum'd against Guest entred there,
And to express our Wellcome more,
Bad her strew Rushes at the Door.
Then to her Palace she invites
The fury of our Appetites.
Here health corrupted was she said
By a strong Phylter from Loves Maid,
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And therefore follow'd, gins to dance,
And kisses sweet Intemperance.
Entring, stood Hercules at the Door
As Portar, and a Lambs skin wore.
No sooner in, but Venus she
Kist me again to welcome me.
First by the Kitchin Dore we past,
Where I a sheepish eye did cast
Upon the Cooks (fair Ladies all)
So busie at the Funerall
Of hot Potatoes, young Cock Sparrows,
Whose graves they dig'd in Pyes of Marrow.
That Men interr'd by such a strong refection
Must needs expect a speedy resurrection.
Some which delighted not in Pyes
Were knuckle deep in Quidinyes.
There Geladini, Consummadi,
Cockbroth, Caudles, Pineoladi,
Eggs and Amber, Maqueroni
Avec Gallorum Coglioni
Made those sweet Laydes sweat and labour so
That every Juncture seem'd in Balneo.
Health whisper'd here into mine Ear,
And said those meats I must forbear,
Lest that Temptation should at length
Force me to go beyond my strength.
Hence passing up to Loves sweet Chamber,
Where every step was Musk, and Amber,
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Venus to vary her sweet blisses,
Numbred our steps with sugred kisses,
And when we entred at the Door
She multiplied a thousand more.
There a round Table spread I found
With Diaper hanging to the ground,
Where the first Course did ready lye
Epecting Hungers Battery.
Venus uncover'd all her Dishes,
Better cheer for me she wishes,
Bids me fall to: then guides my hand
Into a Dish of Marzapan.
My Appetite being up, I fed
Like one new risen from the dead.
And had't not been for Eggs and Ling
I had indanger'd surfeiting.
Venus there saw I was distasted,
Whispers to Cupid; who streight hasted,
Brings, sweet waters in a Dish
For us to wash after our Fish.
After a Cup or two of Wine,
A kiss, a smile, in little Time
The second Course here enter'd in.
I fed as I had famish'd been.
My hunger was so sharply set
I laid about me till I sweat.
Venus so taken was at this
My mouth she oft stopt with a kiss.
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Swearing I was a well-come guest,
Whose hunger did commend her Feast.
Health was content that I should here
Participate of Venus Cheere,
Until she saw a third Course come,
Then shee'd have had me left the roome.
M' Herculean Pillar there she said that I
Must streight put up, and non plus ultra cry.
How to please both I could not tell,
Venus I lov'd, and Health aswell.
If I neglected what was there
Love thought I scorn'd such homely fare;
If I exceeded 'twas a chance
But Health would scorn m'Intemperance.
Here I grew dull, and very sad.
Venus or drunk, or else half mad,
Claps in my spoon into a Pot
Of perfum'd Gelly scalding hot,
And cri'd twas a restoring bit
For such as Diet Health with Wit.
I curst a Pox upon her Gelly,
Wish'd spoon and Pot within her Belly,
Gave her knocks which made her ly
For half an hour in Extasy,
Flung down the Table, Split her Dishes,
Rent all her napkins, burn'd the Rushes,
Broke Cupids head, & call'd Health Whore,
Made her drink drunk and sleep inth'Dore:
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Then up I went, call'd Bacchus in,
Where he and I afresh begin.
Mars hid himself within the Barrel,
Let out the Wine to make us quarrell▪
Bacchus begins a double glass
Unto my Mistress Sanitas,
I swore I'd pledge it full as deep,
And make her drink it in her sleep.
Health in a Dream here stagring up
Made Venus rise: Then takes my Cup
And challeng'd Bacchus. Venus she
Fill'd Cupids Quiver▪ and challeng'd me
With a deep draught, a good yard long,
Of Bristow Milk, pleasant but strong,
Whose practise made her heave it in,
As though't had but a spoonful been.
Half spent before, I could not stand,
Against this Bachanalian,
I still gave back, and durst not venture,
Fearing I should not reach the Center.
Venus the slut begins to boast,
And ask if I would have a Toast.
Or if I'd have a Neats-tongue pie,
The which she said would make me drie,
To save my Credit (for I saw
A Womans will would hear no law,
And though it were a Veniall Sin,
Drunk or sober shee'd hav't in)
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To it I went, and at first bout
I suck'd but half the Quiver out.
She smil'd and bad me try again.
I fear'd the breaking of a Vein.
Yet this I saw, that she was laid
And could not stand; Yet must be paid,
Swearing't should cost another fall
But she would see me take up all.
Mad Girl quoth I, then drink't I wooll
Although it wear a Pulpit full.
Heer's to thy Mars. Were Vulcan up
Wee'd make his horn our second Cup.
And know that I am none of those
Which sleep when th'Glass is at their Nose
Oh how she hugg'd me for that word!
But lo comes Health arm'd with her sword
And vows if that we do not fly,
Mars would be at us by and by.
For she had spi'd in Bacchus Butt
A man lye arm'd from Head to Foot,
And asking Bacchus who twas there,
He trembling said God Mars I fear.
Tush let him come out of his Barrell
Quoth Venus! Ile maintain your quarrel
What do you tremble at his sight?
My Courtiers must expect to fight.
At this boy Bacchus staggers up,
And forc'd my Mistris tother Cup.
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I flung a Bowle of Sack in's eyes,
And bad him learn to Temporize:
Here Bacchus flung me to the ground,
His Barrell broke, the hoops ran round,
God Mars awak'd, and out he comes,
Where head gainst head excus'd for drums.
Health here was wounded; so was I.
Venus fell in a Lethargy,
The loss of bloud made Mars retire.
Bacchus still cast new coals inth'fire.
A bloudy Fray there had you seen,
If Somnus had not entred in,
Who did his heavy Club advance
And knock'd us all into a Trance.
Sanitas was dreaming here
Of Bacchus Bowles and Venus cheer,
So whilst I slep'd, she stole away
Three hours before the break of Day.
Out of this trance when I awak'd,
My brains they crow'd, my back that ak'd.
I felt for Health; look'd under th' bed,
Faith she was gone. There I halt dead
Cald Cupid: told him I was dry,
Pray him to bring some Quidiny.
The Jacknapes Boy gave a blind look,
Bad me to's Mother, she was Cook.
I flung my slippers at his head
And weakly crawling out the Bed
I crope to Venus chamber Door
〈…〉 to enter as before.
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She thrust me back, and swore shee'd see
What arms I bare ear in I be.
I knew 'twas Death for any one to bring
Toth' Privie Chamber a Pocket Pistoll In.
Therefore I durst not strive to enter
Lest that my firelock peradventer
Should take fire: But only ask'd if she
Knew where my Sanitas might be.
Alas quoth Venus corne you here
To seek for Health! since fifteen year
I never saw that sober lass
Your Diaetetick Sanitas,
Go home and fast with bread and water,
You'l see your Mistris will come after.
Did not I tell you Gentlemen what an In∣constant Baggage this Health was. She was not only content to entice me to a Bawdy House and there leave me; but she must rob me of my Poetry too. Well she shall not scape me thus. Rather than lose her ile follow her in Prose: for in that disguise I may chance to re∣cover her, since the very name of a Poet makes her hide her self in the Buttery. I know this is but a trick of hers to make me forsake Venus Court and follow her: for I remember at her parting she seemed much distempered only at the sight of Venus, wishing her as far as Na∣ples.
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Had she not spoke that in cold bloud I should have had little reason to believe her; since I ever found her Venus bosome friend, and al∣wayes alluring me to her Court. Nay I could never rest for her, untill she had entred me there: where for her sake I was content to do any thing, and yet the Peevish slut would ever be hitting me in the teeth with my inconstan∣cy; though she know twas for her sake I first became dishonest.
I think few men would do so much for a Mistriss as I have done for her. I was content to lead my obedience into the race of her Me∣thod: where I alwayes run one Course, fed upon one dish, exercised but once a day, drunk but one sort of drink, never flattered Appetite with more sawces than one, wch was Hunger: & yet this precise Girle would not be content. Let her dance over her monologies with her lean sister Temperantia and she will. For my part if I but finde her again, Ile teach her an∣other course of life: she shall be glad to dance after my Pipe, or ile make her heart bloud smart for it.
To go back again to Venus Court to seek her, I have no inclination in the World: nei∣ther doth hope give me any assurance of find∣ing her there. Yet find her I must that's Certain, or else all will not go well.
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I am almost of Opinion that if I could but regulate my self according to the custome of these Hepatick Inhabitants, and settle my self wel here but one forty days, and let health run out her course, that in the end she would come sweating to me again. But I fear I shall not digest their hard Diet.
The other day in a hungry humor I was looking about in the Cooks shops here for some choise bit: faith I could find nothing but dry livers, and a kind of black burnd broath they made which was bis•cotto.
I asked the Cooks what they did with the rest of their better meat? they said that I was come in a very ill hour, and that they had al∣ready sent all their best provision to the Car∣diacall Princes Court.
Yea thought I! here is no abode for me: ile none of your chew'd meat. Hence wandring up and down in this bloody land; I came at length into a passage so narrow, that at every step I gal'd my Elboes.* The bitterness of the Passage, and the fury it put me into made my legs make many a motion to begon out of it. As hasty as I was, I could go but slowly, every lim being over-loaden with passion. If I had •et my Mistris there, I had beaten her out of all Reason.
I thought this had been the way to Venus
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Hospitall, it made me sweat so: but in over∣•oing a little more labour I found it was a •lind passage to Mars his Arsenall. Where I was no sooner entred, but I fell in choler with Ajax Lieutenant of the Guard for stain∣•ng my Stockins▪
Here I saw a great number of Fachini strongly loaden with Vast Baskets on their shoulders, hasting to a little bitter well, where • saw them open their burdens, taking some∣what out of their Baskets, dipping of it in the water, and presently retiring of it again. My Curiosity was upon thorns to understand the Mystery of their exercise. So that drawing towards them and discovering their Baskets to be full of Humane Tongues, I asked one of them what secret might be inclos'd in that bitter Ceremony.
Quoth he! the Women of the Hepatick•and (being all sanguine and me•ry Gossips) one day at a Publike Feast in Venus Court were all so silenc'd by the thundring Rodom•n∣•adoes of the Garrison Souldiers of Mars his Arsenall, that their Tongues grew cold for want of Motion. Here they call'd a Counsell among themselves, how they might arrive to this braving humor. A Virago start up, and perswaded them that the best, and readiest way was to single out one of those Souldiers from
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his Cameradi, and said she ile undertake with the smell only of a Baston to make him con∣fess where they stole our Female Treasure o• Talking and how they became so nimble Lin∣guists. This was approved of by all, and sud∣denly executed.
They made Venus call up one of those Gar∣rison So•ldiers into her Chamber, there they all set their tongues on a wheel, and run upon him with so violent a Prologue that Thunder seemed still Musick to it. The Souldier, accu∣stomed to such storms, answered their Thunder with such a rimbombo, that his Ecco's eat up their Audience. Here my Virago takes him by the bigoteroes▪ and by vertue of a bed-staf• first char'd him to be more masculine, and let silence skin his Tongue which over galld with his continuall motion, and then give them leave to talk to whom other arms were pro∣hibited. Next quoth she I conjure thee by this fearfull Maedusa's head of thine (for he was a Spaniard) to reveal truly unto us, where you with the rest of your Companions have learn∣ed this Womanish Art, and verball Bravery. My poor D•• promises upon his knees, if they would omit Violence he should discover how and where he was thus possest. Venus her self secured him that no hand should be guilty of injury, only let him disclose his secret.
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Why then quoth he, you must first know that our Court of Guard in Mars his Arse∣nall, when Nature first practised Chymistry, was her Laboratory. Mars being troubled with too many white-liver'd Souldiers (such as durst never serve but in some Garrison where there was never any likely-hood of imploy∣ment) one day discoursing merrily with dame Nature concerning the Philosophers stone, he told her that his curiosity led him not into those golden vanities; so that his Souldiers were paid, heed never mo•l for other Treasure. But quoth he if I thought your skill afforded any secret to arm a Coward with Valour, I should gladly carry coales and be your Pupill.
In that, Quoth Nature you speak of Im∣possibilities▪ for those kind of men are com∣posed of a Mettal so dull cold and Saturnine, that like Salamanders, they resist and extinguish our actuating fires: so that I am ever fain to thrust them into the World do bak'd.
Yet said she, this I can do; I will make you a Spagiricall water which shall give Co∣wardize an Externall Tincture of Valour: into which let the dullest Spirited Man in your Camps but dip his Tongue, and he shall seem another M•gaera; and maintain in a Soul∣diers stile that the Valour of Achilles, and the labours of Hercules were but a game at
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Cudggells in Comparrison of those Conquests, Siedges, Batteryes, Assaults, Skirmishes, Am∣boschadoes, Pitch'd-Battells, Combats, Sea∣fights, Duells, &c. Which the World can witness his Arm to be the author of.
Now as I am a Souldier, quoth Mars, this Secret must not be lost. And though in our Actions 'twill lend us but little succour; yet be it only to delight our Collonels, and Com∣manders at a siege, when they want Pastime to call one of these Rodomontadi into their Tents, and hear him batter Castles with his Tongue, It will be very acceptable to me if you please to favour me with it.
Nature told him, very willingly, and withall desir'd his patience to stand by, and see the O∣peration, which she promised him would be very delightfull to him.
Then she first took of Tongues and galls of
Bulls.
Bears.
Wolves.
Dogs.
Magpies.
Dawes.
Parretts.
parakeets
Iayes.
Cuckoes.
Nightingales. an. n. j.
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From Vegetables she took these Herbs
Cynoglossum
Hippoglossum.
Arnoglossus
Buglossum
Ophioglossum an. M. j.
From Reptilia animalia she took of the tongues and tailes of
Vipers.
Adders.
Snakes.
Lizards an. num. j.
From Spagiricall Compositions she took of
Lightning gold.
Strong water.
Gunpowder. an. lb. j.
From every great Bell she took a Clapper, from every Apothecaries great Mortar she took a Pestell. These she mixt all with the former; and then luted them up in great Bells, and so Calcin'd them in the Aetna.
The Ashes of which she dissolv'd in a wa∣ter
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distilled from all the Violent Torrents and after Filtrated it first through the leaves of Ca∣lepine (to make her Operation the more ver∣ball) then through twelve new Moons, thereby to attract the essence of their Change and variable inconstancy.
Being well Filtrated, she distil'd all through a Trumpet, and then separated the Phlegma as unprofitable in this Work.
The Spirits which remained, she put into the Mouth of a Canon, closly luting it Sigillo Hermetico, and then Circulated them twelve years in the Primum mobile: where contrary to our Spagiricall Circulating fires, they be∣came more agile, mobile, and volatile. Those Spirits thus Circulated she mixt with a Mouthfull of the Quintessence of every Er∣ratick Star. Then she opened the Graves of all new deceased Lawyers, Charlitani, Tripe-wives, Oyster-Wives, and such like talkative people; cut out all their Tongues, and with the skins thereof she made a great Bladder; which bladder she strongly luted with Drum-heads; and then fill'd it up with Storms, Tem∣pests Whirl-winds, Thunders, Lightnings▪ &c. Those for their better Incorporation she set (twelve other years) in a Ruff Sea in Fermen∣tation. Which finished, she mixt these with the former: and to be sure there should not re∣main
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the lest breath of Phlegma, she rectified them every day thrice in a Balneo of Quick∣silver twelve other years.
Lastly, to inrabiate the whole Elixir, and make it the more Canine, she cut a vein un∣der the Tongue of the Dog-Star, drawing from thence a pound of the most Cholerick, adust, and maligne bloud; from which she Subli∣mated the Spirits, & after mixt them with the fome of a mad Dog. Then incorporating all together, she return'd them into the former Bladder, Stitching it up only with the Nerves of Socrates his Wife.
And thus she finished her Operation, and presented it to Mars; bad him put it into any Spring, Well or Fountain, and it should suddenly contaminate the Water with that talkative Vertue.
Mars presently (said the Souldier) put it into our Well here in the Court of Guard in his Arsenall, and commanded the better part of his Souldiers once in the year to dip their Tongues in this Water, whereby (quoth he) fair Ladyes I became so bitter a Linguist.
And said he▪ if this be the ground of your •uarrell▪ I wish that all your tongues were perboiled in that water that so you might ne∣•er be taken Prisoners by that dull Enemy si∣•ence.
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Here, the Women had no patience to thank him; but turning him speedily out of the Chamber (as having what they looked for) they presently began a new to consult, how they might get their Tongues washed in this Well; knowing that it was prohibited for any of their Sex to enter Mars his Arsenall.
Some of them (whose itching tongues could not admit of delay) longing to have a lick at this Water, stole privatly out of the Chamber, and home they ran; put on their Husbands Breetches, and a way to Mars they went, took pay, and were admitted into his Court of Guard.
The rest, concluded, that Venus, having a great Command over Mars, should petiti∣onate to him that all the Womens tongues (of the Hepatick land) might once in the year be dipt into his Lexicon to make them Talka∣tive. Mars for Venus sake (being resolved likewise never to marry) gave them licence; but upon promise they would send their Tongues but once a year, and never to come personally.
And thus, said the Fachin, once a year I and my Camaradi (we having purchas'd the Monopoly) gain more upon this Day than our Familyes can consume all the year following: not a Woman omitting the day appointed, to
send their tongues, with a double Fee; to have them the better washed.
This amazed me more than any thing I had hitherto seen in my Travells.
And indeed, the strangness of it had eat up my belief, had I not heard the tongues which he had washed lie•▪ scolding in his Basket. Then I asked this Fac•ino whether he had e∣ver washed his Wives tongue yet? Oh quoth he, she could never sleep untill she had it: in∣somuch that I am glad to wash mine own tongue twice for her once, and yet not able to silence her. Upon this I desired him to give me a little bottle of that water to carry into my Country as a Rarity. By no means quoth he, for it will make you run Mad and scold with∣all you meet. Why then said I are not all your Women mad? Marry replied he so they are, more or less, according to my descretion in washing them.
I began to thank Iove here, that this Well was so far from our Country: though I did suspect that some of them had been licking here. The generall love therefore which I bare to that Sex, made me in pitty, not able to see their Tongues so infected; but drawing my Sword I beat away more than a hundred of those Tongue-loaden Knaves, which were co∣ming to this Well: (presuming that some
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Wittall or other would put me in his prayers for it) and then knowing I had committed an Errour by drawing my sword in the Arsenall, out I ran all in Choler, and as yellow as a Kites leg. I had not gone far from thence, but I met my wandring Mistris Sanitas with a double Tertian on her back. She perceived that I had been lately in Choler, which made her come shaking to me, and excuse her long absence with trembling Apologies. I took her by the hand (which Fear had benum'd with a sleepy chilness) and asked her why she trembled so? Oh quoth she, the fear which I have that you will not keep me, turns me all into a Gelly. So that the Organ pipe of your breath only makes me answer you in quavers.
The poor Girl lent me such pittifull looks, that I had a feeling of her misery: wherefore I presently eased her of the burden of her Song, and took a Tertian on my Back, in place of a Knap-sack, and away we went to seek out some charitable Hospitall. Thus thinking spee∣dily to depart out of the Torrid-Zone of this Hepatick Land contra•y to expectation we found all the passages stopt, by a great inun∣dation of Waters: an affliction surely sent from Heaven to punish those corrupt Livers. This made us lye at Anchor one Month the longer: where I had much ado to keep life in
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my Mistris Sanitas, finding no provision there that was Edible, all things being so unsavory with those brackish waters, that what ever we put into our Mouths Nature thought time lost in masticating them. Hence not only we, but all the inhabitants grew weak, some pale, some greenish▪ others yellow, and black, all sickly, for want of our fomer good nourish∣ment.
It would have mollified a Heart of Ada∣mant to have seen those matchless beauties of this Clymate▪ young Lasses of fourteen years, ruddy and sanguine▪ have their Virgin beau∣ties Eclypsed by the green Mantle of Loves standing Pool.
Yong married Wives whose tender Palates having been lately accustomed to feed on fresh and dainty bits, now finding their Markets ill served, with dull and sapless Sallads; their Beccarii full of drowned Calves whose flag∣ging, and flashy flesh, scarce sweet, their Dogs formerly would not have gap'd at: not able to subsist with this course diet, rather chuse to feed upon green fruits, and frutta nova, un∣till at last their forbidden diet bring them into a Tympany.
Young lusty Batchelours here, which ente∣red into Pension at other mens Tables, never remembring this generall inundation, but
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finding their diet altered, their meat rank, stale, and of a fishly savor; they suspecting the Cause to be their Hostesses desire of gain, for∣sake her Table straggle up and down, taking here a snap, and there a snap, untill at last ma∣ny littles of what is bad, corrupt them making them perfect Pythagorists and abhor all flesh ever after.
Gentlemen, if any of you be Travellers, and Curiosity lead you at any time to visit the Hepatick Dominions, see first in the Map of my Travells whether you can make any ob∣servations profitable for so dangerous, and de∣sperate a Voyage▪ Read my description of Ve∣nus Court, and see if her entertainment can allure you out of your Country. And when you go, be sure to make Health your Mistirss, and when you come to Venus table, let not that wanton Hostess intise you to disorder. Or if she do▪ do not drink your Mistriss drunk that she might not be Jealous, and then play false under Nose. Have a speciall Care like∣wise that you be not too familiar with that Lady Venus, for she is Mistris unto the Viceroy Spiritus Naturalis, of those Hepatick Terri∣toryes, who will play the Tyrant if he take you napping: bringing you first on your knees to a publike Confession, and then delivering you into the Hands of the Tormentor, who puts
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you into a little Hole like a Tub, and feeds you with nothing but dry musty Crufts, and puddle water, the very smell whereof puts you into Symptomaticall sweats. There hee'l smoak you like a Bacon hog: and for fourty dayes you must expect twice a day to be stew∣ed in your own grease. Believe me every bone will have a feeling of his Torments, and though at last he relieve you, yet you shall never be your own man again.
If you incounter with Bacchus (as he is never from Venus Court) be sure that your first Cup be a parting Cup. And for Mars come not near him, lest you grow Cholerick, and so be inflamed, to your great loss of Bloud.
This Hepatick Land is so delicious, and be∣witching, that few young men return from hence without a Calenture.
Considering therefore how many strong and well-fleshed bodies are brought low in the Torrid-Zone of this Hepatick land, I have altogether laboured in this third Course to feed you as Venus fed me, onely with Re∣storatives, that you may travell more cheer∣fully with me unto the Cardiacall Court.
But first that you may examine the honesty of our Splenditore, I shall desire you here to o∣ver-see what Hepaticall Ingredients he hath
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brought out of Galens Market, before he de∣liver them to the Cook, and his Lardery▪ that so if the Cook and he should afterwards play false; you may find it in your Dishes.
Hepaticall Ingredients which Heat and Corroborate a colde weak Liver.
Agrimon.
Absinthe.
Capill. ♀
Salvia.
Cuscuta.
Asarum
Schaenant.
Spica.
Acted.
Faenicul.
Parsley
Asparag.
Eupator. A∣vicen.
Hellenic
Flower tunic.
You don't.
Pistachia.
No. warm.
Cal. aromat.
Cassia lig.
Cinamom.
All spices.
Nuclear Peach.
Lig. Indic.
Sassafras.
Rad. Chinae.
Sassaparill.
Such as Cool and strengthen a hot Liver.
Endive.
Cichoria.
Scariota.
Dens Leon.
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Purslane.
Roses.
Violets.
Nymphaea.
Sorrel.
Fragaria.
Sem. cold.
Barley
Santal.
Camphor.
Pom. great.
shores
Barberry.
Melons.
Cerasa.
Vinegar
Serum Capr.
Now that our liquid Restoratives may run down with a better relish, we will first fall to our Biscuit.
And for this purpose our Cook here pre∣sents you with a French Biscuit, which he hath borrow'd from a French Cook; and to make it the more Sympaticall with your Diet, he gives it here another heat.
℞. Of the purest flower, lb.ss.
Of the whitest Sugar, ℥iiij.
Cream of Pinioli.
Cream of Pistacks
Cream of Almonds. an.℥j.
Oil of Annise. an. g. x.
Oil of Cinamon. an. g. x.
With four or five fresh Eggs beaten together in Almond milk
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made with Rosewater, mix all toge∣ther, s.a. Of which make your Biscuit in what shape you please, and then recommend it to the Oven.
Next comes in play a Martiall bread, Panis Martius, which the French Character stamps into Maquaron; whose composition, is thus,
℞. Sweet Almonds blanched, lb j. beat them exquisitely in a mortar, moisten them with Rosewater, then incorporate therewith of the best white Sugar lb j. Gum Dragant dissolved in Rosewater, with three or four whites of Egges, beat all to a perfect mixture, and make your Ma∣quarons, and dry them only with a temperate heat.
These give a speedy nourishment, and are therefore necessary in all Consumptions of the Liver and Lungs.
From Biscuit we will fall to our diet d•ink: presuming every man to wax dry after a Crust.
That we may remember therefore our merry Dayes past, lets drink our own Healths
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•n this Hepaticall Cup: and if the last Man quarrell because theres no body to pledge him; let him call his Mistris Sanitas in play, and then all will go well.
The first Hepaticall Diet drink,
℞. Agrimon.
Fol. Sage.
Cochlear.
Eupator. Avic. an. M. j.
Flor. Rosmarin.
Spikes whether P. j.
Sem. Faenic.
Anis. an. ℥ss.
Rad. Asparag.
Petrosel.
Faenicul. an. ℥j.
Cinamom.
They are beautiful.
Kalam. aroma. a. ℥iij.
Sassafras. ℥vj.
Passularum lb. ss.
All prepared according to art, and put up in a Canvass Bag, Cast it into a little Barrell of White Wine, or new Wort. Then have you a diet drink both Therapeutick and Pro∣phylactick in all cold Distempers of the Liver,
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preserving likewise every Part from Obstru∣ctions the Originall of most Diseases.
The Second Hepat. Diet drink,
℞ Rad. Chinae.
Santas. man. year. ℥vj.
Rad. Chichor.
Endive.
Nymph.
Liqu • rit. in the. ℥j.
Flower. Rosar. rub.
Rape.
Nymphs. whether Pj
Sem. Purslane.
Milk
Papav. alb. an. ʒiij.
With these proceed as with the former, but taking small Wort, and you shall finde it a Singular Cooler after your Travells in the Hepatick Torrid Zone.
And who ever loves Coursing, and is at the charge of a Runing Nag, he shall find this his best watering.
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The third Hepat. Diet drink.
℞ Lig. Guaiac.
Sassaparil.
Sassafras.
Rad. Chinae an. ℥ij.
Sem. Anisi.
Faenic. an. ℥j.
Rad. Glycyrrhys.
Cichoriae.
Endiviae. an. ℥ss.
Cinamom.
Nuc. Mosh.
Galangae. the. ʒij.
Inclose all in a Barrell of White wine, and ••serve it to your use, which is an Excellent ••yer of all superfluous humidityes of this •epatick soil; corroborates and califies a ••ld distempered Liver, Evacuates all maligne •apours per Diaphorisin, and restores it to his •aturall temper. Therefore I recommend it ••all Philogynists.
Before you drink any more Healths give our Palate a little dry Gust, and tast of these •egall Pastes, which in all Consumptions, ex∣••ustion of Spirits, lost forces, bring you in ••e Field again and make you Combatant.
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The first Regall Paste.
℞ Amygdal. dulc. decort.
Nucleor. Pineor.
Pistachior. an. ℥iii.j.
No. Cucum.
Cucurb.
Melon. an. ℥j.ss.
All beaten in a Mortar, irrigate them with Rosewater, then adde Sacch. alb. ℥xij. Peni••dii. ℥ij. Gum. Arab. ℥iij. Amyli. ℥j. Fiat• past. Regal. s.a. The which is an excellent re∣storing cooler.
The Second Regall Paste.
℞ Pulp. Capon. assi.
Perdic. assatar.
Tortoise meat
Canker. fluviat. inVin.
white lot And in aq. Horde
decoctar. an. ℥iiij.
Pinearum recent. mund. in aq. rosar
warm I was infused for 4 hours. ℥iij.
4th sem. cold. major. world
Amygdala. sweet decor. an. ℥ij.
Penidiorum ℥j.ss.
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All beat in a Marble Mortar; pass them through a Scive with Rosewater: to which you shall adde Sacchar. alb. in aq. rosar. dissolut. lb. j. Sacchar. cand. ℥ij. gum. Traga∣eant. ʒiij. Boil them all with a gen∣tle fire unto a convenient congluti∣nation, which when it cools, you shall adorn with these Jewells,
Pearl salt
Salis Coral. an. ʒij.
Then make it up into little Cakes of what form your Fancy falls into, and dry them in a tepid Oven.
This for Restoring exceedes all, and is able to incarnate a 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 repairing Nature so fully her losses, that she will run Mad to be gaming again.
The third Regall Past.
℞ Rad. Satyr. in jure Capon. ebullit.
And afterwards with aq. dew cried ℥iiij.
Amygdal. dulc. decortic.
Pistachio. mouth
Pine tree. world the. ℥iij.
Pulp. rad. fring. per crib. passat.
Pulp. rad. Pastinac. cribr. an. ℥ij.
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Farin. Cicerum. ℥ij.ss.
Scinci marini. ℥ss.
Galangae.
Zinzib. condit. an. ʒiij.
Vitel. ovor. recent. num. x.
Sacchar. alb. lb.j.ss.
Fiat Past. Reg. s.a.
I did very Ill I did not reserve this third Regall Past untill the end of my Banquet: for I fear 'twill make some of you rise before the last Course enter.
You hotter Livers, shall use for a Cooler this insuing Amygdaline Milk: which in Summer heats, and after other calefying ex∣cercises, you shall find inflam'd Nature repay your Charity in cooler terms.
Lae Amygdalinum.
℞ Tonsil. decorate ℥iiij.
No. Cucum.
Poppy. white.
Milk
Melon. an ℥j.
Macerate all four hours in Rosewater, then with Sugar. q.s. fiat lac. Amygd.
Here is an Italian Dish for you Gentle∣men, very substantiall and pleasant: and I
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doubt not but when you have tasted of it you will gladly inrich your Cooks with the ℞.
I will not bid you fall to whil'st 'tis hot: for 'tis to be eaten cold.
Blancmange.
℞. Of the flower of Rice. lb.ss.
dissolve it in Milk, q.s.
Then take the Pulpe of a young Capon tender boyld, sweet Almonds numb. xxiiij. beat these well in a Mortar, then mix them with the Milk, and Rice: pass all through a Course Cloath, adding thereto what quantity of Sugar you please: Then boil it on a soft fire, still stirring it, untill it coagulate into the consistence of a strong Gelly: when it begins to cool adde thereto of Amber, and musk dis∣solv'd in Rose water as much as shall render it a gratefull odour.
But for those which are brought so low, that Nature is almost desperate of ever giving another flesh Livery, to such I present this in∣suing Restorative or Consummada, which a∣bove all other, manifests his effects in a most momentary Operation, replenishing the Veins faster with bloud, than assimilation can dis∣pence of it.
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The Prime way for Consummadoes.
℞. An old Capon exenterated, his neck, wings, and feet cast away▪ and the rest cut into small pieces. Then take one or two Partridges, the flesh of a leg of Veal all cut smal then mace∣rate all 24. hours in white Wine. Then put the Wine and flesh into a great glass Phialam with ℥ss of Cinamon, and two nut-megs grosly beaten prepared Pearls and Corall of each ʒiij. Flowers of Borage, Bug∣loss, an. P. j. All being well mixt to∣gether and the Orifice of your Glass exactly stopt, set it •n Balneo bulliente where let it boil well for eight or nine hours without Intermission. Then strain all through a Coarse Canvas, separating the fat which swims on the superficies, and if there yet appear any signe of Crudity, reboil it again between two dishes untill it's white∣ness manifests a perfect decoction. Of which you are to take but three or four spoonfulls warm, reiterating the same every three hours: and thus in little time you may promise your bones a Winter Coat.
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Here is Don Consummadoes Cosin Ger∣man Signior Geladino, who petitionates as a well-wisher to your State, and desires to en∣ter into pay: pray Sirs judge him not at first sight to be a Coward, because he trem∣bles when any Man toucheth him: for upon my Word he is hearty enough, and deserves to be your Corporall.
Geladina.
℞. A Capon of two years old,
the flesh of a leg of Veal,
four Calves feet,
White Wine,
Fair water. an. lb vj.
Boil all in a new earthen vessell, scum∣ing of all the fat: when 'tis well boild, strein it, separating all the fat. Then put this broth into a new vessell with lbj.ss. of Sugar. Cinamon unbeaten ℥ss. Cloves num. 12. boil it again a little, then adde thereto the whites of two eggs; then rebo•l it again, and pass it per manic. Hip. s.a. before it cool mix a little Musk, and Amber dissolv'd in Rosewater with it.
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These Hepaticall Dishes which you have hitherto fed upon do onely restore: here I will close up your Stomacks with a Therapeutick Dish▪
An Hepaticall Antidote.
℞. Agrimon.
Fol. Eupator. Avi•.
Absinthe.
Salviae. an. M.j.
Faenic.
Rad. Petrosel.
Aspar.
Helen. an. ℥j.
Spikes
Flower Sage.
Coats. whether Pj
Fennel
Sem. Anisi.
Carui. an. ℥ss.
Shut up. aroma.
Cinamom.
Cassia's lig.
Sassafras.
Rad. Chinae. an. ℥ij.
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With the rectified Spirits of Wine draw their Tincture: to which Tincture you shall adde,
Extract. santal.
Extract. Chelid. an. ℥ss.
{tartar} see {vitriol} from ʒiij.
It is dyed. croci ♂ with {oil} {sulphur} rice prep. ʒij.
Coral salt ℥ss.
Essence ♂ ʒj.
Circulate them all in Balneo the space of twenty four hours, then in B. Vaporoso sepa∣rate the Spirits from the Tincture untill it co∣agulate to an Extract which you shall reserve a part.
The Spirits you shal animate with the Soul of his Vegetables.
The Vertues.
'Tis a Universall Antidote against all He∣paticall debilitations proceeding from a cold Distemper. It corroborates the Liver, and all the Naturall Facultyes, returning them their proper strength and temper.
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So that for all such Persons as by reason of a weak Liver are proclive to Dropsies, Ca∣chexies, Jaundice▪ &c. Art never lent us a more absolute Preservative.
Dose.
You are to take the Quantity of a scru∣ple, either alone or in Wine, Broth, or some Specificall Water.
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THE FOURTH AND LAST COURSE CAR∣DIACALL.
BEing well recover'd from my great weakness brought by Disorders in my late Hepatick travells: that I may fi∣nish my discovery of this Microcos∣micall Globe; and from my observations compose an Anthropographicall Map, for a light to such young Travellers as hereafter the devotion of Curiosity shall fall into this Pil∣grimage, I am now resolved to set on towards the Cardiacall Territoryes.
My Mistris Sanitas dares not undertake this Voyage: for she tells me we must Imbark again in the Red-Sea from whence we shall
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sail into a bloudy gulf which hurries us down into a hollow vein of that Earth,* where we uncomfortably go many Leagues under ground before we can arrive to the Viceroyes Court Spiritus Vitalis. Besides quoth she, 'tis to passionate a Land for our weaker Sex to abide in▪ there abounding so many Discontents, Trea∣cheryes, Rebellions, Dissimulations, Flatte∣ries, Inconstancies, Vain desires▪ Desperations, Arrogancies▪ mixt with Envy▪ Hatred, Ava∣rice, Pride, Ambition, Vain glory, with a thousand such like Fanatick Spirits in the Hearts of those Inhabitants that 'tis too diffi∣cult a Task either for young or Old to live there without infection; especially for her to whom they were all professed Enimies.
Asking of her why she called those 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, Fanatick Spirits? She answered, because the Princess Phantasia, of the Cephalick Peninsula first, in a depraved humor gave them their en∣tertainment: Where they grew to such a head, that Spiritus Animalis began to be jealous of his Princess Phantasia, fearing they might cor∣rupt her: Therefore he commanded Intell•∣ctus his Favorite whom it did likewise much concern) to banish them his Peninsula, and to confine them to the Center of the Micro∣cosme. Where said she they have now in∣croached into the Cardiacall Court, and so
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blinded the Viceroy Spiritus Vitalis▪ that they now command and rule his Court.
I could not but laugh here at Sanitas to •ere how like a Woman she talked: and then •urning to her▪ I asked if she thought those mo∣•ives sufficient to divert the resolutions of a Traveller. Or if she took me for one of those Milk-sops which durst not pass the Sea be∣cause it roard▪ and would defer his Voyage in∣to France untill the French-men had learn'd the English tongue. I told her I feared no Bug-Beares; My Nature was better pleas'd with horrid and forrain Monsters, than with the yealping Beauties of Domestick Puppy dogs.
And though she were my Mistris; she had not yet drawn me into the Predicament of slavery to oblidge me never to row out of her Gally. I assured her I was free born, and her Eyes were yet too dul to fire me out of my Liberty. Besides, I bad her Remember in what a case she left me in the Hepatick Land: where when I return'd sickly to Venus Court, expecting a Coppy of my first Well come, Venus then not knowing me (I being before Animus adipe & sanguine suffocatus) shut her Dore against me crying tuus inter nos non vo∣lat Cupido▪ The Kitchin maids also anatomi∣zed my Skeleton with Jeasts, one asking me if I would drink a Caudle? and then singing
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He who does not feed Galina deserves an egg.
Another took up a lean Gridiron, and with a rib of an old Servant of hers, she scrape out this Motto▪ Quam bene conveniunt.
A third stood knocking of an empty Mar∣row bone against a broken Pipkin crying, Iu∣piter non mella plus pluit, then threw it into the Fire, and sung this Epidicticon.
Lean bones which yeeld no fat at all,
The Fire is their best Funerall.
Sweet Sir, if you'l renew Desire?
Go pass our Therapeutick Fire.
Then without knocking you may enter in,
As Prophylactick of our Magazin.
The remembrance of this was such a cool∣ing card to Sanitas, that she let fall all perswa∣sive Arguments, and leaves me to my wan∣dring Discretion▪ telling me wherever I went I had her Heart. And since she was unfit for such a Journey; she prayed me to accept of her Sister Convalescentia, who was very well acquainted with my Humor and Diet, and therefore might be serviceable in so long a Voyage. I thank'd her with acceptance, and giving her a parting kiss, presently Imbark'd on the Red-Sea where a fair Gale brought me presently upon the Cardiacall Gulf; where
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as Health said) we fell desperately under Ground in a hollow Vein of the Earth, which •rought our Ba•k in few hours directly upon •e Viceroyes Court, where had not the Sluces •indred us, we had landed at the Court Dore; he Court Swimming in a Lake of Christaline water.
There expecting the opening of those Floud-gates, I was received by one of the Court Boats, the Ferry-man whereof was at∣••r'd more like a Gentleman Usher, than a water-man. His good Clothes made me take better notice of him, and examin his professi∣on. Therefore I knew no better way to put my self upon his Discourse, than by hitting him in the Teeth with that empty headed Complement, Pray what may I call your name Sir? The Gentleman (as I after found him to be so) answer'd in an affected Phrase, that he was Signior Curioso, and Son to the Signiora Curiosita Lady of Honour to the Duchessa Superbia, Wife to his Lord and Prince Don Ambitio▪ whom quoth he, I serve; my place and charge being as you see, to Ferry Stangers over into his Court.
Here I interrupted his Geneologies, and de∣sir'd him to row me back again, craving him pardon, for I was mistaken: my Travells ten∣ding to the Cardiacall Court of Spiritus Vi∣talis,
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which it seemed was not there. Sir quoth he, have Patience; You shall not nee• to return; for you are entring the place which you seek: though it now be call'd the Court of Don Ambitio, who being at first a Favorite to this Cardiacall Prince, in few years gain'd so far upon the Hearts of the Subjects, that they all neglected their legitimate Viceroy Spi∣ritus Vitalis and wholly doted upon him who now rules and commands all: the other being only Titular.
Finding him so open in his Relations; I re∣solv'd to make him Dictator to my Table-books, knowing that his Curiosity would o∣mit nothing. First therefore I brought him on, with superficiall Questions; asking him ( a Dutch Curiosity) how many Paces that Car∣diacall Lake might eat up in Latitude?
Sir, quoth he, It seems you have not yet seen the new Anthropogeographicall Map lately Extant; where this Cardiacall Part is call'd Italia Microcosmi (as containing the Center of the World) and this Lake is there baptiz'd by the name Il Lago passionato, where the hearts of Desperate Lovers hourly float in Passion.
His mouth had scarce clos'd up this relati∣on; but lo! appear'd the Heart of Dido swim∣ming after our Boat, and calling for her
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Aeneas. This brought his Theory into Pra∣•tick, and made me the more credulous, and prompt to exercise his Historicall tongue, with other propositions of my Ignorance. Turning my face therefore towards the Cardiacall Court, and seeing so Princely a Fabrick lye •ounding with a perpetuall motion upon so still a water! so soon as Amazement return'd my Tongue her Liberty, I ask'd Signior Cu∣•ioso if it were not a Vanity to demand the cause of that Magick Motion, which there ap∣pear'd dancing from Dyastole to Systole in the •ircle of Inchantments.
He answer'd, that I had here brought him upon a great Antiquity: the Relation of which would be a Present very gratefull to Memory. Know therefore quoth he that this Lago Passi∣onato, is properly and anciently call'd the Lake of Icarus (and by corruption Ichor) as Ovid sings,
Icarus made the waters under the name of Icarias.
For herein fell that Ambitious Son of Dae∣dalus, whose presumption was the Originall of this Cardiacal motion. For when Daedalus by his winged Art did emulate those Angelic. 〈◊〉 Deityes, as one day, he and his Son were ex∣ercising their Ambitious Plumes; flying be∣yond the Region of Mortall Liberty, Phae∣bus was call'd forth from his Helion's Sphear
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to view those presumptuous Cretensi, Daedalus had no sooner Spi'd him draw back the Cur∣tain of his Clouds, but, wisely, he retir'd. Ica∣rus, hot in Ambition, and, neglecting his Fa∣thers more aged precepts, follows the subli∣mity of his Fansy, and soars up so high, that Phoebus in choller with his aspiring vanity call'd him up to the Element of Fire, where his Wings being burn'd, his Ambition fell with his Body into thi• Lake. Then, to make him and his Father Secular Examples; he cau∣sed Daedalus to build a floating Tem•le in this Lake, and to fill it with Penitentiall Fires▪ Then Phoebus chain'd the winged Soul of drown'd Icarus, upon the top of this Tem∣ple, there to labour in a perpetuall motion; striving by the strength of his Wings to ele∣vate his Ambitious Soul, which was as fast pull'd down again by its overburdened Ter∣restriety. Which constant Motion likewise did ventilate the Inclosed Fires, whereby the Soul of Icarus was hourly refresh'd in the violence of his exercise, to the end his Tor∣ments might be eternall. And for Daedalus he commanded him to wander perpetually in this Lake (wearing his Ambitious Plumes in his Head) that the hourly sight of his Sons Torments, might feed the Memory of his Pre∣sumption.
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Hence said he proceeds the cause of this constant motion of our Cardiacall Palace: Those Penitentiall Fires remaining to this hour in some Chambers of our Court: though now few or none make use of them in their Sacrifice; the whole Court applying them∣selves wholly to the flattering of Don Ambi∣tio, every one labouring to be his 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, and because he daies not perfume his greatness with the mortifying smoke of these Peniten∣tiall fires, (lest it should choak the Torrent of his Pride, and bring him to a Miserere) they all, not to alienate from his humor, rake them up in the embers of Vanity.
But after some few hundred years said he, Phoebus being mov'd to Pitty by the tears of Daedalus, and Penitentiall Offerings brought to this Temple by his Parentage, at last gave Liberty unto their pining Souls, by turning the Soul of Daedalus into an Eagle, whereof he made a Present to Iupiter. And of Icarus he made the Phoenix, thereby to express the singularity of his Pride: and lest Time might blot out the Memory of his great Presumpti∣on, once in an Age he Inioyn'd him build an Altar of Arabian Aromaticks and thereon to Sacrifice his Body with the Fires of his So∣•ar Rayes. In reward of which he promis'd that his Youth should be as often renewed.
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In those Dayes likewise, quoth he, this Cardiacall Palace, upon that Occasion was call'd the Temple of Sol〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, whither ma∣ny Ambitious Sinners came in Devotion to kiss those Penitentiall Fires: so that no part of the World was so famous for Devotion. But Phoebus had no sooner relieved those tormen∣ted Souls of Daedalus and his Son; but streight Religion here ceas'd: and it was presently In∣habited by those Fanatick Spirits which Intel∣lectu had banish'd from the Cephalick Penin∣sula for bewitching of the Princess Fantasia, and threatning his Ruin.
Here the Viceroy, Spiritus Vitalis, one Day in his Progress, taking notice of these fair Buil∣dings, and seeing them lye buried in their Ru∣ines: falling in love with the situation of the Place, presently sent for his Magicians, whom he commanded to conjure all those Spirits to retire into a little chamber in the left partition of this Palace (where lay the Penitentiall Fires) and there to chain them up. Then he caus'd his Architects to renue the lost Beauty of those demolish'd Ruines: And to revive the dead Fame of that Former Temple he made his Magicians inchant it with a perpetuall and Propheticall Motion: on whose Top, (to make it more miraculous) he rais'd a vast Py∣ramis, hewen out of one Intire Ruby: and
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then proclaim'd it the Oracle of Aesculapius; causing the Fame thereof to be publish'd through out the whole Vniverse; and that all Diseased, of what Infirmity so ever, let them repair to this Oracle in Devotion, and but touching the Motion thereof only, the Oracle should infallibly assure them whether their Disease were Mortall or not. Here our Boat arriving at the Palace Gate, his Relation (which I found more Poetical than Rational) was silenc'd by the approach of his Mother the Lady Curiosita: who came thither ready with all her followers to attend my landing. Where the Earth had scarce kiss'd my Feet, but she commanded her Gentlemen Ushers Signior Polito and Signior Ceremonioso, together with her waiting Gentlewomen Signiora Impuden∣tia, and Signiora Confidentia, to bring me for∣ward. Then presently she her self seaz'd upon me, leading me into the Court, and telling me that her Curiosity had impos'd that duty up∣on her, to give entertainment to strangers, her Genius being most proper for such imploy∣ments.
Following that Lady up a pair of high Stairs (whose Altitude made our Hearts nimbler than our heels) and being with a quick Subli∣mity, by the Mercuriall Complements of Signior Ceremonioso, brought to the highest
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step: there I was taken by the Duchessa Su∣perbia. Who ere she would deign to let her tongue move towards me, she comanded her M•ior Domo, Signior Prodigo, to clap one of her Lords (Don Ambitio) gawdy suites on my back, and to put me in Fashion. Here, me thought I look'd, like a candle in the Sun: or like a wooden spoon in a Sack Posset. I was just like a new rigg'd ship, govern'd by a Scul∣ler: who labouring with a Contrary Wind to leave my Common Road, and shew my self in the Ocean; I made my rich Apparell my Compass: from which I never durst draw mine Eyes, lest I should forget my Course, and so be blown back again into my old Harbour.
I wish'd that she had lent my Face a new Cover to: for I was very suspitious lest that (though Impudent enough) should have be∣trai'd my outside, there remaining still a Ru∣sticall character, which rich Imbroaderyes could not Eclyps,
In fine she had put me so far out of Fa∣shion with my Naturall Gate, Annuities, and obscu•e breeding; that I was more troubled in Practising how to be taken a man of my Cloaths, than ever Ierelictum was when he first Tutor'd his Apes.
For Courtly Phrases and Complements,
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wanted none: For, Sir Philip Sidney, and Ben Iohnson can testifie, that I have so over∣burthened my Memory out of their Grana∣ries, that it being too weak to retain them lets them often drop here, and there to no purpose.
For exteriour gestures, and Ocular Ceremo∣nies, my private Chamber Practice had so inur'd me, that I mistook every man I met in the street for my Looking-glass.
To say the truth, nothing blank'd me, but a scurvy durty Opinion, which like an evill Angell hourly persecuted me: telling me that my cloaths would subscribe to antiquity, be∣fore my Fortunes could renue their thred-bare Titles, by some better Calling. Looking downward upon the ugly Foot of this Opini∣on, I was letting all my Bravery (with the Peacock) fall to the Ground, and sneaking a∣gain into my posture.
But here Signiora Confidentia prevented me: who cock'd up my Beaver, gave me a re∣solute kiss, and assur'd me that her Lady Mi∣striss Superbia was in love with me: for whose sake, she said, she had settled a good Opinion of me; bad me be bold, and Confident of my well-come, and to proceed; for she would warrant me preferment.
At this, I began to make a noise with my Spurs: call for my Lackquies (though they
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all knew poverty preserv'd me from that Va∣nity) and then desir'd this resolute young Lass Considentia, to carry me into the chief Lod∣gings of the Court, that I might be taken no∣tice of by some of the Nobility, whom I was then Confident would cast a Fortune upon me.
The desperate Wench, without f•rther Ceremonies▪ brings me presently into the Chamber of Presence, were sate Don Ambi••o on a high Throne swelling in the pride of his Humane Deity. Where he gave entertainment to himself (esteeming his conversation too great an Honor for that poor worm Man) by viewing the Retraicts of those proud Egypptian Pyramides, with that Rhodian Colossus▪ and promising himself, that his Name should feed Posterity with greater Memorialls. And somtimes reading the lives of Caligula, Do∣mitian, and Heliogabalus (qui sibi divinos honores deferri, simulacra sua ubi{que} erecta a∣dorari, seque in Deorum numerum referri, •us∣sit) whereupon he falls in love with that Ro∣mish Pride, and would fain second it; but that his Ambition will not admit of Imita∣tion.
Seeing him as it were lost in those serious meditations; I ask'd Signior Confidentia, whether we were not fallen into Presumption
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by daring to enter a Place which seem'd pro∣hibited. Sir, quoth she, you can not do me a greater wrong than by nursing such vain su∣spects.
No place to me is prohibited. Were it in his most secret and private Counsels, I am con∣fident he would embrace me. He dares not shut me out at any time, lest I make him a∣sham'd for it. For he knows full well, 'twas I gave him his Titles in the Court, by putting him forward, and from a poor younger bro∣ther made him chief Favorit here in the Car∣diacall Court, where he now wholly Com∣mands.
And though I be but a poor waiting Gen∣tle-woman, I can make him forsake all his negotiations, and hearken to any thing that I shall put into his Head.
With that she ran to him: strikes his Book out of his hand, and kist him. I expected still when he should have kick'd her Confidence. Whereas he quite Contrary payd her with in∣terest in her own money, hugging of her, as if she had bin his Minion. And then taking no∣tice of me (as being alone he must of necessi∣ty) he began to mix Anger with Pride, and so threw a scornfull look upon me; asking her in a low voice, what Fellow that was which had thus lost himself in presumption. I began
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to tremble fearing he might think I had stoln his suit of Apparell which I had then on my back: But Confidentia excus'd all, and told him I was a poor Gentleman, and a stranger that was betrai'd by Fortune, and therefore came thither alone, to manifest his Inno∣cency.
Ask him quoth he, his Name, his Country and Parentage.
Here that I might enter into the Geneolo∣gies of his Kindred, knowing him to have a Spanish Heart, I bad her tell him that I was a Spaniard: my name Signior Aemulatio; base son to one Signior Ambitio a man of great blood in Spain, whose Estate being decai'd, left his tender Nursery to the blind Tuition of Fate: who had transplanted me out of that barren Soil, hither into his Cardiacall Garden, where I hop'd the Sun of his Favour would make me fruitfull.
She had no sooner deliver'd my answer, and name Aemulatio; but he presently start up; began to look about him, and then calling three or four Oaths to witness, swore that I was his Cosin german, and the neerest in bloud to him, that day extant.
Whereupon he made me large promises: bad me be alwayes at hand: and not to leave him, untill he should supplant me by some greater Fortunes.
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Then he commanded Signiora Confidentia to wait upon me, cherish me, carry me into every corner of the Court, and to recom∣mend me unto his Lady Superbia for a Favo∣rite: Then bad us retire a while, for 'twas his hour of rest.
Signiora Confidentia was mad untill she had entred me into the practice of the Court: therefore bringing me speedily out of the Chamber of Presence, she lead me first into the Lodgings of the Lady Avaritia, Tesorie∣ra to Don Ambitio, where we found her and her five Furies (Diffidentia, Metus, Solicitudo, Spes vana, and Desperatio) at Dinner, excerci∣sing their lean rigid Mandibles upon the hard, musty, and brown Chippings of sowre Barley bread; with Onions, Garlick, Stock-fish, Red-Sprats, Ship-Beefe which had been seazon'd with an Indian Voyage: without ei∣ther Table Stooles, Napkins, Knives, or any such Stomack Instrument.
But all lay in a horrid Mixture upon a heap of straw, which after dinner they fir'd to en∣courage Naturall Heat to fall aboard on such indigestible Materialls.
Amazement here broke my Silence; calling therefore Confidentia aside, I told her how strangely I was lost in Labyrinth of Admi∣ration, if she with the thread of Reason did
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not guide me out. I pray'd her therefore to set me at Liberty, in making me understand what new Policy Don Ambitio had found to make Shee-Treasurers in his Court: and besides to tell me what Vertues could subsist in that dry hydebound Hag and M•gaera Avaritia, to make his Ambi•ious Spirit cast such principle Honours upon her de•ested Ugliness.
Confidentia hearing me no better then rail in my demands, presently falls into my tune, and professing her self an open Enemy to that Witch Philargiria: satisfyes me with this impartiall description.
Quoth she, you must know that this now Lady, was first a Common Baw'd, but so cunning, and dexterous in her Calling; that she would undertake by Vertue of a Jewell to make Chastity her self a Whore. And this Profession brought her first into our Court: where she presently forc'd a Respect from the Necessity of her Calling.
Her beginning was in the Kitchin; from thence she rose to be a Chamber maid; and so to a Waiting Gentlewoman. Here, notice began to be taken of her by the great ones: so that if any of them were love-sick, she pre∣sently felt their Pulse, and with a small feeling from them, promis'd a speedy and pleasant Cure.
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It happened that our Lord Don Ambitio, among his Infinity of Mistrisses▪ could not sa∣tisfie himself, but one day taking notice of three young Vertuous Virgin Ladies (Signiora Castitade, Signiora Innocentia, and Signiora Constantia▪ who abhorring his insatiate and lascivious Lust, and to avoide the malice of his Ambition, liv'd retir'd▪ and never appear'd publickly in the Court unless upon a Christ∣mass, or Easter Day) their beauties gave such an Inflammation to his Lust, that without o∣pening of a Vein there was no scaping of a Phrensy. Here, quoth Confidentia, I like a mad Girl, under hand plai'd the Baw'd, and put him upon this more Authentick Baw'd Ava∣ritia, assuring him that she would corrupt them if Corruptible.
He, like an expert Gamster at Inn-and-Inn, would not hazzar'd those Golden heaps untill he had made the Dice run of his side. Sends therefore for, then but Mistris, Avaritia, and makes her Lady of Honour. Thus he first made her a companion for the Noblest▪ that young simplicity might not dream of corruption in such Greatness. Then he throwes the Dice freely; venters all at a Cast, opens his Desires, and shews the game which he gave Chase to: tells with what Innocent and Chast simplici∣ty they avoided his snares, and how difficult it was to intrap them.
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Avaritia laught at his Ignorance: and then bad him take no more Care, but go, and beat the bush for some new Game: as for those, she would speedily bring them into his Golden Net.
To those Yong Ladyes she goes; enters into their Cabinets; there falls into Discourse & fa∣miliar Conversation: First fingring them, as Lutanists do their more Delicate and choise Trebbles, with ordinary Womanish Discourse of Husbands; lamenting the unfortunate and miserable estate of a single life.
If she perceiv'd no Shadows of falseness in that Motion! Then presently she admir'd their Continency; commended their Chastity, told them how happy they were in that State of Innocency & hereupon falls into an Encomium of their Beauties, their Vertues, their rare Qualityes, and so by little and little puts them on upon the sweet Instrument of Philautia.
There she proves them again▪ scruing them up with an Ambitious pin, by swearing they are Companions for Emperours, and that she wonders not, why they let the flowre of their Beauties fade in the Mirrour of their own Suns reflection, si•ce man is too rude a Mixture to Incorporate with such Delicacies.
Here she scrues them up within a degree of breaking; finding the higher they are scru'd up,
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the sweeter their answer was to the touch of her Triall.
Then she playes on, makes them sing and dance▪ In which merry Tune, she lets the hand of her discourse by degrees slide down unto the belly of her Lenatick Lute, where by a more shrill and penetrating sweetness she brings their Ears to such an itching Delight, that Auditus can no longer keep Counsell, but presently calls in her Neighbour Sences to participate. When she perceives that they have now a feeling of those sweet Aers, and that there is no time to be lost, but to keep them going whilst they were in tune, she windes them up yet a Note higher, with great promises, and assurances of Riches, Honours, Preferments, Principalities, and the like: at which pitch, she no sooner toucheth them but they break.
Thus did she make those unman'd Hag∣gards, stoop to the rich Lure of Don Ambi∣tio. And by this Practice she hath rais'd her Preferment to this Degree of Tesoriera: where she now may dispose of what Sums she please: for he knows, her Covetous Heart does so Antipathize with Prodigality, that she grows sick at the naming of a spend• thrift. I thank'd my little Wagtail Confidentia for her Impartiall enucleation of this Philochry∣sonticall
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Lady: And my Patience being some∣what distemper'd with those Alliatick Savors, whose loathsome Violence being still augmen∣ted by the often recoiling of the Lady Ava∣ritias Stomaticall Artillery, which was over∣charg'd with Stock-fish, and Garlick I desir'd that we might depart those famished Lodg∣ings, and enter upon some more Restoring Objects.
'Tis true said Confidentia, we have lost too much time with this Purse-worm Avaritia; but our next Visit shall recover it with Inte∣rest. Follow me therefore said she unto the Lodgings of the Old Lady Invidia, who you must first know was born mad, and therefore may presume she Continues so, all Physitians concluding her Disease Incurable, it being Morbus haereditarius.
This Old Trot, runs Post Day and Night, from Chamber to Chamber, not suffering the poor Ladies to lie quietly in their Beds: there∣fore 'twill deserve admiration if we find her in her own Lodgings: Besides we must expect a Bastonado ere we depart, for she hates to see any thing that is hand-some: nay Malice wrings her into a showre of tears, if she see but a healthfull body, and well apparelled, o∣pen her Gates.
Here in spite of her teeth we entered her
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Lodgings; where I thought it had been Car∣navall time, there appearing none but Masque∣radi. She had more Servants than all the Court besides: but those so horrid, and defor∣med, that it appeared the School of Ugli∣ness.
All her Chambers were full of false Glas∣ses to make People appear ill favour'd and dismember'd; for she could not abide that any one should discover themselves to be handsome.
She had more than fourscore old decaied waiting Gentlewomen attending on her; all which had been turned out of service: some for putting Mercury in their Lady Mistrisses Pomade to spoil their good Faces.
Others for eclypsing the lovely brown of their Ladyes Hair, with Cypress powders, un∣der a colour of shadowing some false addi∣tions.
Others for wearing out every other Day a new ruff with often turning it in and out of fashion.
Those came all about us like so many Fu∣ries, some pissing on my Stockins to stain them; others under pretence of Courtesie to pick out the lace of my Cuffs & tear them; Others with an Envious Hug twine their Armes about my Neck to bring my band in the same wrinkled
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Predicament with their Faces; Others kis∣sing me to make my lipps scabby.
Signiora Confidentia wanted not her share neither; for some presented her with a sweet powder for her Hairs, which brought them the falling sickness; Others gave her receipts for her Teeth, which made them all dance out in method; Others pretending to renew the lost curles of her hair, sets them afire; Others gave her waters to make her fair, which no sooner applide, but her face looked like a pick'd Goose.
Others, without farther Ceremonies call'd her Whore, scrach'd her face, telling she was the cause of their disgraces.
Whilest we were in this Purgatory, In came the Lady Invidia, with her brother Il Conte Odio, and her Sister la Contessa Malitia.
Never was man frighted with more de∣light, than I at the sight of that Monster Invi∣dia.
Who ever saw the Bears Masque, may Con∣ceive her entrance. She had eaten up all the flesh of her Face with her own scratches: so that she look'd as if her head had been di∣shed out in a Grave, to a Mess of hungry Worms, who had pick'd all clean to the bones.
Her Eyes were so dry with often weeping,
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that for want of moisture they had lost their motion: they being but as two pieces of rot∣ten shining Wood, stuck in a dead Horses Head.
Her Nose, as I guest by the Promontorious Gristle had been Roman.
She hopp'd towards me with an Intent to rail: but her mouth was so stuft with bitter Languages that she could not speak: for with belching up too many hasty words at once in∣to the little Portal of her Mouth, they wedg'd one another so fast in the Door, that she salu∣ted me open mouth'd with a driveling Silence, just like a mad Dog, whose depraved Fancy could not resolve whether to bark or bite first.
Her brother Count Odio had the Mine of a Compleat Courtier, and his better Judge∣ment, made him not dance into his Sisters Pas∣sionate rashness: but with a reserved Malice, he made Flattery the Engine of his Hatred. Where like an old Ape with his mimicall and fawning Gestures he forced a belief of Friend∣ship, that so (no false suspition opposing the Operation of his lingring Venom) whil'st you slept in security, he might with the bet∣ter advantage bite you.
He entred upon me with a gratious smile;
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desiring me not to take notice of his Sisters distemper, a womans weakness being too poor an Object for Masculine Reason: but rather bid me seal up her Envy with his Friendship, which he protested was more at my Devotion than at his own.
Confidentia here Tutor'd my Eares with a soft whisper, and bad me loose no Trust upon that Old Fox, for I could never hope to reco∣ver it again.
He takes you quoth she for a green Goose presented as a Rarity unto some Noble mans Table: and fearing least from thence you might be preferred unto a more Princely Mess, he labors to undermine your Designes with his scraping Friendship that so without suspect, he may at his leasure blow you up.
I had been formerly Informed likewise of his double Heart and how his malitious sub∣tilties run all upon such Aenigmata, that young Novices must maintain their Oedipus to understand him.
Very Jealous therefore of his proferred Courtesies (which to me did little better then stink) and finding his name a Traitor to his promises: I resolved to trust him no farther than his Lodgings. Yet that I might bring him on to his purpose, and better my Experi∣ence
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by making him a Copy of my future Practise, I desembled for Company, and began to reveal unto him as private Secrets, things, God he knows, but then born: to which he so seriously listned, that me thought I already saw his Malice promise him, that he had Theory enough to Practise my Ruine.
I think, as Cunning as he was, I had made some sport with him, had not prevention checked my Design by the entrance of Signio∣ra Iustitia, Signiora Amicitia, Signiora Fideltade, and Signiora Conscientia, all sweet young Ladyes of honour in this Cardai∣call Court, who as Confidentia told me had long before been corrupted (with the help of that Bawd Avaritia) by Don Ambitio: and now they were come in Visit to the young Lady Contessa Malitia.
The Lady Amicitia did so overflow with winning graces, that I fell desperately in Love with her, and desir'd Signiora Confidentia (who by her former Confession I knew to be Embassatrice de Amore) to put me forward into her Friendship.
But she desired me by no means not to take notice of her in that place, for Don Ambitio had turn'd her off to Count Odio, whom she began now to affect: although he abus'd her,
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and kept her only to make his detested pro∣jects the more advantagious.
This information, put Ice in my Mouth: for I knew too much of that crabbed count, to become his Rivall.
Yet being now a Courtier, I thought my humor must aswell wait upon the Fashion, as my Clothes.
Every one I saw▪ wore his Mistrisses Favor, otherwise no Courtier.
Faith then a Mistriss I must upon too, and wear her Colours, though I had never yet spake to her.
He•e I was in conceit that the Lady Iustitia was ready to cast her self away for me: for me thought she never look'd toward me but her Heart laboured to steal to me in a sigh.
Knowing therefore how apt those tender-hearted Creatures were to precipitate in Pas∣sion and searing lest she might condemn me of Cruelty (though for my part I would have given her leave to have hang'd me for a Kisse) to answer her silent Oratory, I began to return her sighs, and as neer as Fansie could imitate▪ I framed such looks withall, as she might call pityfull.
Then I call'd Signiora Confidentia apart, and told her what passages had hapned, and
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•ow the Lady Iustitia made love to me.
The Jeering slut burst into such a Laughter at my mistake that all the Ladies took notice of it; and desired to be brought into Con∣sort, by participating of the Jest. But Confi∣dentia to save her Credit and mine conceal'd it. And then told me that hereafter in the pre∣sence of Ladyes she would not stand so near me, lest too much Confidence might make me Ridiculous. And then said that those sighs and sorrowfull looks of the Lady Iustitia, which I applied to my self, were for those in∣juryes. Perjuryes, Contempts▪ Neglects, Brybes, Partialities, and a thousand such like abuses which the world dayly cast into her teeth; which makes the poor Lady so slighted and low-priz'd of every Man, that growing Dull and Melancholy, she lives so retir'd, that we can hardly see her above once a quar∣ter.
This mistake therefore made Confidentia retire farther from me: insomuch that I be∣came so overwise ever after, that when a Wo∣man look'd or smil'd upon me▪ I thought she jeer'd at some defect: which mistrust made many pretty passages happen between me and the Lady Conscientia, for she had a minde to me in good earnest: as it after appeared
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by her fondness, and tenderness of me: who blushed not to cast her self into my Brest; prick me with her bodkin, to ex∣press her desires in Hieragliphicks: rouse me, kiss me, and often put me to the start with her secret motions. All which I regard∣ed not, suspecting still that it was but a plot of hers to betray my weakness.
When ever she came neer me therefore, I told her plainly she troubled me▪ and that she made all the world take notice of her bad pro∣ceedings: bad her go and accompany the Lady Iustitia who was Melancholly, and had the Green sickness for want of Exercise, for my part I would not be guilty of her loose∣ness.
This Lady Conscientia, became so desperate upon my checking her: that stealing from us she ran out of the Court-Gate and threw her self into the Lake of Passion, where she perished.
It was a long time before any of us mist her: so that had not the Lady Penitentia came in laughing and crying both at a breath and told us that Conscientia had drowned her self, none had ever taken notice of it.
Here I observed what alteration this news
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would beget, and I found it almost impo∣tent, producing no other issue but a few abor∣tive Tears, which were delivered by a Wo∣manish Consent who like so many Ducks, if one cry the whole brood answers.
And those showres were suddenly drunk up by the Sun of Gladness. For in came Don〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, with the Lady Laetitia, laughing so heartily that though at that instant, all were weeping; their tears dissolved into such a storm of Laughter, that the Aier grew chole∣rick with his Violent Motions, and broke the Windoes to prevent combustion,
The Jest was to hear every one laugh, and non able to satisfie Reason with the Cause: only all confessed that they felt their Hearts of a sudden much lightned, and a free inclination invited them to any thing that might give them delight.
Well, the Laugh being ended, Don Zara with a cheerfull countenance, ruddy as the Aurora, step'd to the Ladyes and thank'd them for the honour they did him in entring into his Consort: then bad them proceed, re∣joyce, sing, dance, and make no more scruple of honest mirth, but to be free and open in all their delights, without suspect of any fu∣ture repentance; for that 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉Consci∣entia
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was dead. She that had caused so ma∣ny showres of Tears was now drowned in her own Deluge.
I presently took my Advantage of this good news▪ and began to renew my Sute to the Lady Iustitia, who before had deceived me with the Melancholy of her Conscious Jea∣lousyes: Now I presumed she would make no scruple of playing false with any man: wherefore I made the less doubt in Corrupt∣ing her.
And see how happy I was in this Attempt; as if Fortune had vowed to chain all my de∣sires together with the links of Oportunity, and then throw them into my Bosome. Don Z•r• to celebrate the death of his Arch Ene∣my, Invited all the Ladyes to a Masque.
Where wanting Masquers, he desired me to succour his necessity, and make one.
It was the thing I gaped for; my Mouth therefore being ready opened to his hand, the first word that I could spit out, was a grant, with a willing acceptance.
Well for brevities sake Gentlemen Imagine you saw the Ladies all placed; the Musick playing; and the Masquers entring, each of them having his hand enriched with a present,
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to bestow at Discretion upon any of the La∣dyes.
My Present was a rich Quadra, wherein was represented, the Heavens opening, and from thence a Wolf falling, with a Lamb i his Mouth. This Embleme was eclypsed with a faire Curtain of Tissu, emaculated with Golden letters, whose connexion made this Emblematicall Anagram,
Lady this Embleme seems too rude
For one professing Servitude.
But be not rash in judging me
Untill you finde I guilty be.
You are my • Heaven, to whom I sha
Till I be heard, for Mercy call.
If you deny me, then I must
Needs say you'r Cruell, and unjust.
But if your harsh sententious Eyes,
Will rather here Embelmatize,
Then ope your Heaven; let Wolf and Lamb
Tumble toth'Earth from whence they came.
Ile venture breaking back, yea Neck and all,
So that we may but once together fall.
Our Presents being delivered; before we dished out our Capers into a Dance, we made way for the Lady Laetitia; who to express
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her joy in the loss of her Enemy Conscientia, she welcom'd the Ladyes with this Sonnet.
Sonnet.
YOu pensive Souls why are you sad?
Conscience is drown'd; Then lets be glad;
Let not your pining Hearts from hence
Stagger at future Penitence.
She that quench'd our joviall Fires:
Checking Natures sweet desires:
Shall no longer curb us in
With Horrid fears of Mortall sin!
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Come then sweet Fansy shew thy pow'r,
Invent new Pleasures every hour.
Teach Don Ambitio to betray,
His Dearest Friend that stands in's way.
Tell him that 'tis a Noble Feat,
By supplantation to grow great.
And bid him quarrell now withall,
That interpose him and the Wall.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
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Bid Avaritia wider again;
Tell her she now may freely scrape:
And propagate a Minerall
To renovate some Prodigall.
Let her proceed and multiply
In her extorting Usury,
Without a thought of growing Wise;
By a Church building Sacrifice.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Let great Superbia Jeere, at those
Which out oft'h Fashion wear their Clothes.
And bid her call her Taylors in
To Massacre some new born sin.
Teach her some sweet and secret way
How to maintain her rich Array.
Bid her first turn an Honor'd Whore,
Rather then let her name grow Pore.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Bid Penitentia wipe her Eyes
And check with Smiles her peevish Cryes,
Tell her it sutes not with the Times,
To lose her Mirth for petty Crymes.
Make her be cheerfull! rowse her up!
And drown Repentace in a Cup.
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Let her not fear the new-born Day
Can now her Night-past Sins betray.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Bid Wise Iustitia here be free,
And make a Present blind a Fee.
Teach her to feed upon lost sheep,
And pass her Sentence in her sleep.
Let her not stick to play the Whore
With any▪ so they be not Poore.
Make her be Confident, and say,
With her shall dye the Judgement Day.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Bid Castitade blush no more
Because shee's Don Ambitio's Whore.
And let Constantia break with all,
Since his Ambition made her fall.
Bid sad Maeslitia now awake
And d•own her Cares in Passions Lake.
Let none forbear their Hearts Content,
Till they grow Old, and Impotent.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
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Let now Religious Pieta
Come wait upon Superbia.
And bid her bring her Bible In
To elevate her Passive Sin.
Bid her upon a Holy Day
Neglect a Sermon for a Play.
And let her trouble God no more,
With often knocking at his Dore.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Kinde Charitade now grow wise!
Be no more gull'd with Poor mens Cryes.
Keep Home, and learn to lock thy Dore;
If any beg, tell them thou'rt Poore.
Be not so fond to run in Debt,
By building of a Lazaret.
No, keep thine own; and only spend,
To gain an Office, or a Friend.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
Come then Don〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 lead your dance,
Whilst Mirth layes sorrow in a Trance.
Let your sweet Revells blow the Fires,
Of these Fair Ladyes hot Desires.
And when they burn, Tell them they may
•et Reputation melt away.
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The Golden Age is now come In
Where Pleasure drowns 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 Sin.
Conscience shall here
No more appear.
WHilst the Lady Laetitia exercised her Voice: I prostrated my self (as the Custom is at all Masques in their Parts) on my Knees, at my Lady Mistris Iustitias feet. Where with a feeling Oratory I made my case known unto her: told her, her Eyes were mur∣derers: and I desired Justice.
The richness of my Present made her take the better notice of me; besides I found her Disposition very corruptible. So that having brought her Just upon the point of a Merci∣full Promise: the Sonnet being ended, we were forced to break up our Session: every one fall∣ing into his Posture, and then by mutuall co∣pulations we begat a Ballo.
How every Man governed his heels I com∣mit to your Fancyes: since every Mans Heart was freed from the heavy clog of Consci∣ence.
Well, our Masque ended I renewed my sute again with that hard Hearted Mistris of mine Iustitia: who in that little time, had dashed
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me out of her Memory, acknowledging nei∣ther me nor Present.
Here I cal'd my old Chamerada Confiden∣tia: who presently assur'd me that there was no trusting to that Lady above all the rest. For said she; she is one of Don Ambitio's a∣ged Concubines, whom he first Corrupted, and made her one Day by false Witnesses at∣tach that Noble Lord 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, that he might U∣surpe his Place.
And now having served his turn, he hath cast her off, leaving her to her self: who now makes a Trade of her Necessity, and will lye with any Man for his Mony.
When I heard this, I began to wish for my Presen• again. Yet content to buy my Expe∣rience at that Rate; it growing late, Confiden∣tia and I departed; every one wondring that I did not wait upon the Lady Iustitia to her Coach.
Confidentia, as we left the Lodgings of Don〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 told me that there was never a Cham∣ber yet provided for me in the Court; there∣fore said, if I would accept of a part of her Bed (which said she, runs upon Wheels under my Lady Superbia) I should be very well∣come: for said she this cool Weather I want a Coverlid: and where are two in
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a Bed, there wants not Coverings.
I laughed to hear her so confident in her loosenesse. And to Bed we went without fur∣ther ceremonies.
In the Morning I stole from her before she waked (lest I should be made pay for my Nights Rest) and going towards the Court-Gate, I met the Spenditore and the Master Cook going to the Market to buy provision for the Cardiacall Prince Spiritus Vitalis.
Having little other Imployment I accom∣panied them partly to learn what Dyet peo∣ple kept in that Countrey and partly for a Breakfast out of the Cooks Fees.
There for the Younger and hotter Spi∣rits they bought these cooling Car∣diaca.
Roses.
Violets.
Sorrel.
Borago.
Buglos.
Nymphaea
Plantago
Suc. Citri.
Limon.
Grenade.
Cerasa.
Asst. smell
Rub. Idaei.
Santal.
Corn. Ceru.
Cord's. W.
Vnicorna.
Terra Sigil.
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Sphere. Poor.
Margaret
Coral
Bezoar non fal∣sificat.
Hyacinth.
Saphyr.
Emerald.
Chrystallus.
Some Compounds (to mix among their or∣dinary sawces) they bought, which were these,
Diarrhod Abbat.
Diarrhea. common.
Diatrion. Santal.
Diamarg. frig.
Elect. ex Acetos, &c.
For the more Aged, and colder bloods they took up these,
Warm Cardiac.
Melissa.
growl
Ocymum.
Card. Ben.
Scordium.
Veronica.
Cut. Citri.
Sem. Citri.
Chermes.
Charyop. hort.
Rad. Angel.
Helen.
Flower. Calendar.
Xyloaloes.
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Cook, or 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, was retired into a lit∣tle private Room, and there very close at Work, upon an Antepidemicall Antidote, wherein as I remember he put these praepa∣rations.
℞. Confect Alkerm.
Confect. ex Hyacynt.
Theriac.
Extract. bac. Iunip. an.℥j.
Pearl salt
Salis Corall. an.ʒiij.
Antimon. diaphor.
Sulfur, gold. diaph.
Balsam milk Sulp. an.℥ss.
They would be Croci ʒij.
Essence of Camph. ʒj.
It is dyed. Gold with
Spir. Sal. extract. ℈j.
Tombstone. Bezoar. ver. ʒj.
They would be Cinnamon
Essent. Caryophyl. an.℈.j.
Moschi.
Ambrae. an.g.viij.
Those he mixt▪ s. art•m, and thereof made his Antidote. Which he told me was an ad∣mirable Preservative against the Plague every
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morning the quantity of a small Pease being taken fasting, Likewise for those which were already stricken with that Infection, if they took, ʒ.ss. or ʒj. of it dissolved in ℥ij. of some Cardiacall Water, it cured them by a Violent sweat: corroborating the Heart; and banishing all contagious or Pestilentiall Spi∣rits to the remotest parts of the Microcosme.
Having seen that Antidote finished; I went into another fair large Room which seemed another Muran of Glasses.
There I found ready prepared.
Potable gold.
Auri Tincture.
Gold Diaphoret.
The Arcane of Gold
Absurd. minerals.
Tartar Vitriolated.
Spir. Tartary.
Sal. Viper's.
They would be Unicorn.
Flores Sulph.
Milk Sulphur.
Spir. Salt
Spir. Nitre
Margaret mineral
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Mercury diaphor
Sal. Christalli.
Sal. Corallor.
Ps. Pearl.
It is dyed. Crocuses.
Tinct. Rubinar.
Tincture. Emerald.
Tinct. Hyacynt.
Tinct. Corallor.
Tinct. Antimon.
Balsam. Cinnamon.
Balsam. Caryoph.
Bals. Nuc. Mosh.
The essence of Amber.
The essence of Moses.
Sprouts. Roses.
Essent. Corn. Cerv.
Spir. Melissa.
Spir. Card. Ben.
Spir. Rosmarin.
Syr. corallor.
Syr. Fairies.
being flower narrating
Essent. Flower. Citri.
With many other such like principal Car∣diacall preparations.
I returned again to the Master Cook, and
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desired him to give me the Receipts of those Cordiall Rarityes which I had seen in his O∣peratory. He answered that they were all se∣crets reserved for the Preservation, and Reno∣vation of his Prince Spiritus Vitalis, and were by him forbidden to be published to any but such who serve out their time in his Kitchin.
If any of you Gentlemen have a liking to any of these Dishes, (the worst of which may be served to a Princes Table) pray fall to whilest they are before you; and when those are digested, who ever desires▪ to make use of them at Home for his Private Family, let him retire to any of our Spagiricall Kitchings, and you shall find our Cooks more open Hearted than those of the Cardiacall Princes; and freely present you all their Art in such Her∣meticall Delicacyes. In the mean time I am sorry my cheer is not answerable to your Merits. What you want In meat; I desire you to satisfie with Mirth: For so believe me you shall be Heartily Wellcome.
FINIS.